u/Potato_Ilovecats9

My entire plan has always been to move out of state for college, but looking at these prices it’s looking like something that’s not gonna happen unless I get a scholarship. I would have no problem with paying/taking out the loans for this if I were only going to college, but my plan is to go to medical school after college so having that much debt just to be in a different state is unrealistic to me. The most financially sound and logical option would be to stay in state, and so I’m looking at Ole Miss to be the college that I apply to, but I’ve heard so many bad things about people being racist there and I want the opinions of people who actually go there to tell me their experiences on if this is true or not, and how much it affects your daily life. I’ve also heard of somebody getting lynched at a nearby college and all of this is just very concerning to me. I do not wanna go if I would be putting myself in potential danger to people who are racist and prejudice.

As for my stats, I have a 4.0 GPA, a 28 on the ACT currently but I’m retaking it soon, I haven’t taken the SAT yet and I don’t know if I should, if that would help with anything.

Pretty much what the title says. Do you remember your first day? How was it?

All of this is context, skip to [ ] if you don’t want to read all of it and you just want the main part

A few days ago I got into a screaming match with my mom.
She does this thing sometimes where she’ll take a situation and blow it up or make something out of it so she can scold me or lecture me or go off on me. Or if she’s in a bad mood she’ll use anything she can find to lecture me and talk down to me. I don’t think it’s a conscious thing or something she’s doing intentionally.
When I didn’t realize she was doing this, I used to talk back and defend myself and it never ended well for me. When I realized the pattern I started staying silent and only going along with whatever she was saying at the moment to get her to stop faster. I realized that’s the easiest method until she gets bored or I find a way to make myself scarce. And I try to let whatever she’s saying roll off of my back although it’s very hard and frustrating sometimes.
The current issue started a few days ago.
For context, for a couple of months I’ve been looking for and applying to jobs, because I was interested in making some of my own income (I’m a teen). The only reply I got back was from a place my mom decided she didn’t want me to work. (At first she was okay with it, and yelled at me for not going to the interview because i thought I wouldn’t like it based on what past employees told me about the environment, but after my friend got hired and said it was actually a really easy and fun job, and I actually really wanted to work there, she switched up and is strictly against me working there). She started asking me about potential places I could work, but most of the places she listed off were genuinely the worst jobs our town has. As in low pay, high work, unfair expectations/responsibilities etc. Verses the places with high/decent pay, regular expectations/responsibilities. When she listed off these places, there was this one particular place that I knew for a fact I did not want to work, and I told her that this specific place would be the absolute last place that I wanted to work and that I’d rather work at literally anywhere else, even a bad place. A few weeks later she texts me and tells me she got me an interview at that place. We get into an argument about that, and I bring up how she doesn’t listen to me, and every time I try to open up about one thing she makes it into a bunch of other things, and instead uses the opportunity to lecture and scold me about completely unrelated topics (like for example I tried to tell her about my depression, after texting her for weeks about if we could look into some medication for it, while she ignored all the messages, every single one, and then when I tried to bring it up in person and tell her how I needed help, she turned it into yelling at me about how I need to go to med school to become a surgeon, and how I need to do more chores, and she was strictly against medicine and how if I was depressed I just needed to exercise, and because I won’t try exercising it means I want to be depressed. And how that helped her when she was depressed (except she got medication for herself but she left that part out) and I kept saying how the medicine doesn’t even matter anymore I just needed help, but then it turned into another lecture about other unrelated things etc.) A few weeks after that argument I texted her again and asked if I could get therapy and she agreed, and we got everything sorted out with the therapist but I haven’t been able to have a session with her yet due to separate reasons.
But back on track we get into an argument about her getting me an interview at the place I said I absolutely did not want to work, about how she didn’t ask or tell me or listen or anything, she says I wanted a job, she got me a job, it was the only job she could get me, and how I’m ungrateful, don’t know how good I have it, how I have no reason to be depressed and how I want to be depressed, etc. I try to tell her about how every time I try to talk to her about something she turns it into something else, and she just did the same thing with that convo, and said I wanted help and she got me help, which she did do, but moving on, we continue arguing about the job, everytime I ask her if I can quit if I don’t like it she avoids the question, until after the argument she sees I’m still upset

[ ]

and she says if I find another job, that is better than the place I didn’t want to work, and I get hired, then I can quit and go work at the better job.
I start the job, and I hate it. For context, your only allowed one singular 10 minute break per shift, no matter how long the shift is. The schedule is not set, so you could be working 5am-10am, the time would reach 9:50am, and then you would be told you’re actually staying until 5pm. And sometimes you wouldn’t get a break if it was busy. I also don’t even think that it’s legal. So as a minor, I would work an 8hr shift, only get one singular 10 minute break, and also have the chance of being told I have to stay for a few more hours if they needed me. And if I’d already taken my break then there’s not another one. You’re also always on your feet, and cannot sit down. If you’re working a certain area of the building, you have to always look busy. So that means cleaning, (sweeping, wiping down tables, wiping down/cleaning windows inside and out, cleaning trays, mopping, bathroom duty, etc) non-stop for however many hours your shift is, and it doesn’t matter if everything is clean you still have to do it, you can’t be doing nothing. If a customer comes in, you have to drop everything and hover behind the customer while they order. And all of this only to make around $350 every two weeks. Reminder, you only get one singular 10 minute break.
After every shift I’d be on indeed like it was the new hottest app, I’ve literally applied to so many places and nowhere would reach out.
After one particularly horrible shift I told myself I could not do it anymore. I couldn’t. Not for the break and not for how much I was making. The next morning I spam called Walmart from about 9am to 11:30am. NOBODY would answer, and when I would get answers, (2 times) and managed to get transferred to customer service, I was hung up on while it was ringing, so I never even got to speak to anyone in customer service.
So I went in person, and while on the way my friend who works there asked the hiring manager for the department I was trying to go into if she was hiring minors, and she said no. I was already on my way and not turning back. I got there, and I asked to speak to the hiring manager, told her I was there to check on the status of my application, and also to ask if she had any interviews open for this week. She said she was doing some interviews this week, and then kinda looked at me like ‘this is the end of the convo, u can go now’ like she was waiting for me to politely end it and leave. I asked her if she knew when I could come in for an interview, and then I actually got one for the next day. I went to the interview and got the job. Was very excited about it, told my mom all excitedly, talked about the job for days leading up to orientation, how happy I was, how excited, how I could finally leave my current job, etc. The very day before orientation, I let my mom know that I told the manager at my current job I might not be able to finish my two weeks, because I have orientation tomorrow and my new job is starting. She gets mad and calls me, and says I need to go and beg for my job back. Immediately I’m confused and upset because why am I begging for my job back if I already have another job? I asked her if this means I can’t work at Walmart and she hangs up on me, and her text says she’ll talk to me when she gets home. I start breaking down because I know it’s another one of those situation things where she makes a lecture and talks down on me and makes something out of nothing and it’s like please please not with this. I call and ask for my job back, and they tell me to come in that afternoon and work. I’m crying, I cry for a while, and the time nears for me to start getting ready so I’m about to take a shower, still sobbing, and then I realize she’s home and sitting on my bed, she asks me why I’m crying and I tell her I’m frustrated and that she let me go on and on about how excited I was for like a whole week about this job, and why would she even let me do the interview if she knew she wasn’t going to let me do it. She told me why would I quit if I didn’t even know if I had the job, I told her I do know, i literally have the job, my first day is tomorrow. She then tells me the requirements for me to get a new job is I have to learn how to drive. And how I need to be focusing on studying for the ACT in August instead of a job, I tell her the sign up is in August, the test is in September. She goes out of my room and I follow, and that’s where the argument progresses. I’m crying the whole time, beyond frustrated, she says that I don’t need to be focusing on a job right now because we don’t need the money, I say then why am I forced to work the job I hate, she ignores that question and says I need to focus on schoolwork (I have a 4.0 gpa, have had a 4.0gpa for 6 years straight, top 8% of my grade currently, have a 27 composite on ACT but trying to raise that, etc, so it’s not like I’m struggling in school but I’m not doing amazing either)
She says that I need to learn to drive to work at Walmart, I told her how I knew this would happen, how she told me if I found a new job I could quit, how I’ve found a new job and my first day is literally tomorrow and now she’s refusing to let me quit, how she always does this, and at this point I’m screaming, and she says how I want to be in-store shopping for items (ogp) but I have anxiety, and how is that going to work and if my anxiety was just a game the entire time. That set me off because she doesn’t take my anxiety seriously and often will use any opportunity when we’re in public together to go off away from me abruptly and say that I’m old enough to do things by myself, and how I don’t have anxiety. And also gets mad at me when I get upset over it. So when she brought that up and asked if it was a game it hurt deeply because it feels like nobody understands anxiety and that feeling in your chest and stomach and how horrible it is unless you actually have it. And the fact that I was willing to try to push through that to get out of my current job shows how much I hated it and then trying to keep me there when I got a better job made everything boil over. She tells me to sit on the couch and so I sit on the couch and at this point we’re going back and forth again and I keep repeating myself and she keeps repeating the same excuses, how I need to focus on school, how I don’t need to be focusing on a job, how I need to learn to drive, how I’m not going to be able to balance Walmart and school (Walmart is less hours, minors are only allowed to work 4hrs a day on week days, and 7hrs a day on a weekends, for every 4 hour shift we get a 15 min break, for every 5 hr shift we get a 15 min break AND a 1 hr lunch, with food provided for free in the break room, for every shift greater than 5 hrs we get multiple 15 min breaks ontop of an hour break. And our schedule is fixed so you can’t ask a minor to stay later. I’d also be making about $600-$800 every two weeks instead of around $350), verses where I work now I’ve already explained the situation. We’re still screaming at each other and she tells me I need to stop behaving like this or she’s going to beat me. At this point I’m beyond frustrated and still crying and if she wants to do that then I want her to just get it over with and I’m sick of everything so I scream at her at the top of my lungs “then do it, just do it” and then she tells me to get out of her house, so I get out of her house and I cry outside until she comes outside and tells me if i understand I can never behave or speak to her like that again, and she keeps asking until I say yes, then she tells me to go inside and take a shower since I have work, and when I finish and I’m dressed and ready and I come back to the living room with my stuff for work she starts lecturing me again, and I’m sick of it and I zone out, and in my head I’m all over the place because why would she do this, so I ask her why is she doing this, I tell her she always does this, I tell her how she let me go on and on about how excited I was, why she would even let me do the interview if she knew she wouldn’t let me do the job, why she drove me to speak to the lady in person, how she waited until the day before, etc a lot of repeating myself, she repeats herself about school, driving, how Walmart is farther than where I current work (it’s an extra 2 minutes away, 7 minutes total). I go off again and I start screaming and I’m still crying and I’m saying how she always does this, why would she do this, she told me I could quit if I found a new job, how I knew this was going to happen etc. At this point I’m late for work so the person who’s taking me tells me to come, I go to the car and I’m still crying, I cry for most of the way there and end up calming down, only to break down again when I get inside and a co worker starts asking me what’s wrong. I calm down again and finish the shift, get home. My mom and I don’t speak in person but that night I text her and ask if I can go to my first day tomorrow at Walmart and she lets me.
My first day at Walmart falls on a day off I have at my current job, so I do my first day, and then I have to call in sick the next day to do my second day. After my second day we have to wait for them to incorporate the new people in the schedule, since the schedules are made 3 weeks out, so this gives me an opportunity to finish my two week notice. (I now have 2days left).
Throughout this past week, my mom has been giving me the cold shoulder. Normally I usually give her multiple hugs everyday, sometimes I greet her at the door when she comes home and I give her hugs, after my shifts I come and spend some time with her in her room if she’s not busy, regular chatting etc.
Now it seems like she won’t even really look at me unless she’s talking to me directly, when she does talk to me it’s usually short or blunt or it seems like when she’s upset at me about something. We haven’t hugged since before the argument and I’ve texted her that I loved her two times after, and both times she took hours to respond even though I know she saw the message a lot earlier. I love my mom very much and it hurts to feel like she feels differently about me but I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if I can bring it up. Or if I even want to. It feels like she feels differently toward me. She came home from work today and I stayed by the door to greet her and she didn’t even acknowledge me. Didn’t talk to me or look at me but was talking to my little brother. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I was justified for being upset about the situation with everything considered but I don’t think she thinks so. I was her first child and we were alone for a long time before the rest of the family came into the picture and she’s my only close parental figure and I love her more than anybody on this planet. And then dealing with this ontop of my depression and having nobody to speak to about it because of my therapist never following through on when she says she’ll contact us makes everything worse. Everytime things get this dark I have to struggle not to SH because I used to a long time ago and it always made me feel better in the moment but I’d always regret it the next morning and it would hurt people close to me whenever they found out so I’ve stopped but everytime I feel like this the urge to do it is always there and I have to fight and struggle everytime not to do it again because I haven’t in so long and I know ill regret it but it’s like what’s even the point anymore. I don’t know what to do and I miss her. And it’s not like she’s like that all the time, she genuinely loves me and she has sacrificed a tremendous amount to make sure I have a comfortable and good life. If there’s something that I need she’ll work hard to get it. It just she does this sometimes and usually I can deal with it but this time was different and I don’t know what to do now because she’s never acted differently towards me after any of our past heated arguments similar to this one.

All of this is context, skip to [ ] if you don’t want to read all of it and you just want the main part

A few days ago I got into a screaming match with my mom.
She does this thing sometimes where she’ll take a situation and blow it up or make something out of it so she can scold me or lecture me or go off on me. Or if she’s in a bad mood she’ll use anything she can find to lecture me and talk down to me. I don’t think it’s a conscious thing or something she’s doing intentionally.
When I didn’t realize she was doing this, I used to talk back and defend myself and it never ended well for me. When I realized the pattern I started staying silent and only going along with whatever she was saying at the moment to get her to stop faster. I realized that’s the easiest method until she gets bored or I find a way to make myself scarce. And I try to let whatever she’s saying roll off of my back although it’s very hard and frustrating sometimes.
The current issue started a few days ago.
For context, for a couple of months I’ve been looking for and applying to jobs, because I was interested in making some of my own income (I’m a teen). The only reply I got back was from a place my mom decided she didn’t want me to work. (At first she was okay with it, and yelled at me for not going to the interview because i thought I wouldn’t like it based on what past employees told me about the environment, but after my friend got hired and said it was actually a really easy and fun job, and I actually really wanted to work there, she switched up and is strictly against me working there). She started asking me about potential places I could work, but most of the places she listed off were genuinely the worst jobs our town has. As in low pay, high work, unfair expectations/responsibilities etc. Verses the places with high/decent pay, regular expectations/responsibilities. When she listed off these places, there was this one particular place that I knew for a fact I did not want to work, and I told her that this specific place would be the absolute last place that I wanted to work and that I’d rather work at literally anywhere else, even a bad place. A few weeks later she texts me and tells me she got me an interview at that place. We get into an argument about that, and I bring up how she doesn’t listen to me, and every time I try to open up about one thing she makes it into a bunch of other things, and instead uses the opportunity to lecture and scold me about completely unrelated topics (like for example I tried to tell her about my depression, after texting her for weeks about if we could look into some medication for it, while she ignored all the messages, every single one, and then when I tried to bring it up in person and tell her how I needed help, she turned it into yelling at me about how I need to go to med school to become a surgeon, and how I need to do more chores, and she was strictly against medicine and how if I was depressed I just needed to exercise, and because I won’t try exercising it means I want to be depressed. And how that helped her when she was depressed (except she got medication for herself but she left that part out) and I kept saying how the medicine doesn’t even matter anymore I just needed help, but then it turned into another lecture about other unrelated things etc.) A few weeks after that argument I texted her again and asked if I could get therapy and she agreed, and we got everything sorted out with the therapist but I haven’t been able to have a session with her yet due to separate reasons.
But back on track we get into an argument about her getting me an interview at the place I said I absolutely did not want to work, about how she didn’t ask or tell me or listen or anything, she says I wanted a job, she got me a job, it was the only job she could get me, and how I’m ungrateful, don’t know how good I have it, how I have no reason to be depressed and how I want to be depressed, etc. I try to tell her about how every time I try to talk to her about something she turns it into something else, and she just did the same thing with that convo, and said I wanted help and she got me help, which she did do, but moving on, we continue arguing about the job, everytime I ask her if I can quit if I don’t like it she avoids the question, until after the argument she sees I’m still upset

[ ]

and she says if I find another job, that is better than the place I didn’t want to work, and I get hired, then I can quit and go work at the better job.
I start the job, and I hate it. For context, your only allowed one singular 10 minute break per shift, no matter how long the shift is. The schedule is not set, so you could be working 5am-10am, the time would reach 9:50am, and then you would be told you’re actually staying until 5pm. And sometimes you wouldn’t get a break if it was busy. I also don’t even think that it’s legal. So as a minor, I would work an 8hr shift, only get one singular 10 minute break, and also have the chance of being told I have to stay for a few more hours if they needed me. And if I’d already taken my break then there’s not another one. You’re also always on your feet, and cannot sit down. If you’re working a certain area of the building, you have to always look busy. So that means cleaning, (sweeping, wiping down tables, wiping down/cleaning windows inside and out, cleaning trays, mopping, bathroom duty, etc) non-stop for however many hours your shift is, and it doesn’t matter if everything is clean you still have to do it, you can’t be doing nothing. If a customer comes in, you have to drop everything and hover behind the customer while they order. And all of this only to make around 350 every two weeks. Reminder, you only get one singular 10 minute break.
After every shift I’d be on indeed like it was the new hottest app, I’ve literally applied to so many places and nowhere would reach out.
After one particularly horrible shift I told myself I could not do it anymore. I couldn’t. Not for the break and not for how much I was making. The next morning I spam called Walmart from about 9am to 11:30am. NOBODY would answer, and when I would get answers, (2 times) and managed to get transferred to customer service, I was hung up on while it was ringing, so I never even got to speak to anyone in customer service.
So I went in person, and while on the way my friend who works there asked the hiring manager for the department I was trying to go into if she was hiring minors, and she said no. I was already on my way and not turning back. I got there, and I asked to speak to the hiring manager, told her I was there to check on the status of my application, and also to ask if she had any interviews open for this week. She said she was doing some interviews this week, and then kinda looked at me like ‘this is the end of the convo, u can go now’ like she was waiting for me to politely end it and leave. I asked her if she knew when I could come in for an interview, and then I actually got one for the next day. I went to the interview and got the job. Was very excited about it, told my mom all excitedly, talked about the job for days leading up to orientation, how happy I was, how excited, how I could finally leave my current job, etc. The very day before orientation, I let my mom know that I told the manager at my current job I might not be able to finish my two weeks, because I have orientation tomorrow and my new job is starting. She gets mad and calls me, and says I need to go and beg for my job back. Immediately I’m confused and upset because why am I begging for my job back if I already have another job? I asked her if this means I can’t work at Walmart and she hangs up on me, and her text says she’ll talk to me when she gets home. I start breaking down because I know it’s another one of those situation things where she makes a lecture and talks down on me and makes something out of nothing and it’s like please please not with this. I call and ask for my job back, and they tell me to come in that afternoon and work. I’m crying, I cry for a while, and the time nears for me to start getting ready so I’m about to take a shower, still sobbing, and then I realize she’s home and sitting on my bed, she asks me why I’m crying and I tell her I’m frustrated and that she let me go on and on about how excited I was for like a whole week about this job, and why would she even let me do the interview if she knew she wasn’t going to let me do it. She told me why would I quit if I didn’t even know if I had the job, I told her I do know, i literally have the job, my first day is tomorrow. She then tells me the requirements for me to get a new job is I have to learn how to drive. And how I need to be focusing on studying for the ACT in August instead of a job, I tell her the sign up is in August, the test is in September. She goes out of my room and I follow, and that’s where the argument progresses. I’m crying the whole time, beyond frustrated, she says that I don’t need to be focusing on a job right now because we don’t need the money, I say then why am I forced to work the job I hate, she ignores that question and says I need to focus on schoolwork (I have a 4.0 gpa, have had a 4.0gpa for 6 years straight, top 8% of my grade currently, have a 27 composite on ACT but trying to raise that, etc, so it’s not like I’m struggling in school but I’m not doing amazing either)
She says that I need to learn to drive to work at Walmart, I told her how I knew this would happen, how she told me if I found a new job I could quit, how I’ve found a new job and my first day is literally tomorrow and now she’s refusing to let me quit, how she always does this, and at this point I’m screaming, and she says how I want to be in-store shopping for items (ogp) but I have anxiety, and how is that going to work and if my anxiety was just a game the entire time. That set me off because she doesn’t take my anxiety seriously and often will use any opportunity when we’re in public together to go off away from me abruptly and say that I’m old enough to do things by myself, and how I don’t have anxiety. And also gets mad at me when I get upset over it. So when she brought that up and asked if it was a game it hurt deeply because it feels like nobody understands anxiety and that feeling in your chest and stomach and how horrible it is unless you actually have it. And the fact that I was willing to try to push through that to get out of my current job shows how much I hated it and then trying to keep me there when I got a better job made everything boil over. She tells me to sit on the couch and so I sit on the couch and at this point we’re going back and forth again and I keep repeating myself and she keeps repeating the same excuses, how I need to focus on school, how I don’t need to be focusing on a job, how I need to learn to drive, how I’m not going to be able to balance Walmart and school (Walmart is less hours, minors are only allowed to work 4hrs a day on week days, and 7hrs a day on a weekends, for every 4 hour shift we get a 15 min break, for every 5 hr shift we get a 15 min break AND a 1 hr lunch, with food provided for free in the break room, for every shift greater than 5 hrs we get multiple 15 min breaks ontop of an hour break. And our schedule is fixed so you can’t ask a minor to stay later), verses where I work now I’ve already explained the situation. We’re still screaming at each other and she tells me I need to stop behaving like this or she’s going to beat me. At this point I’m beyond frustrated and still crying and if she wants to do that then I want her to just get it over with and I’m sick of everything so I scream at her at the top of my lungs “then do it, just do it” and then she tells me to get out of her house, so I get out of her house and I cry outside until she comes outside and tells me if i understand I can never behave or speak to her like that again, and she keeps asking until I say yes, then she tells me to go inside and take a shower since I have work, and when I finish and I’m dressed and ready and I come back to the living room with my stuff for work she starts lecturing me again, and I’m sick of it and I zone out, and in my head I’m all over the place because why would she do this, so I ask her why is she doing this, I tell her she always does this, I tell her how she let me go on and on about how excited I was, why she would even let me do the interview if she knew she wouldn’t let me do the job, why she drove me to speak to the lady in person, how she waited until the day before, etc a lot of repeating myself, she repeats herself about school, driving, how Walmart is farther than where I current work (it’s an extra 2 minutes away, 7 minutes total). I go off again and I start screaming and I’m still crying and I’m saying how she always does this, why would she do this, she told me I could quit if I found a new job, how I knew this was going to happen etc. At this point I’m late for work so the person who’s taking me tells me to come, I go to the car and I’m still crying, I cry for most of the way there and end up calming down, only to break down again when I get inside and a co worker starts asking me what’s wrong. I calm down again and finish the shift, get home. My mom and I don’t speak in person but that night I text her and ask if I can go to my first day tomorrow at Walmart and she lets me.
My first day at Walmart falls on a day off I have at my current job, so I do my first day, and then I have to call in sick the next day to do my second day. After my second day we have to wait for them to incorporate the new people in the schedule, since the schedules are made 3 weeks out, so this gives me an opportunity to finish my two week notice. (I now have 2days left).
Throughout this past week, my mom has been giving me the cold shoulder. Normally I usually give her multiple hugs everyday, sometimes I greet her at the door when she comes home and I give her hugs, after my shifts I come and spend some time with her in her room if she’s not busy, regular chatting etc.
Now it seems like she won’t even really look at me unless she’s talking to me directly, when she does talk to me it’s usually short or blunt or it seems like when she’s upset at me about something. We haven’t hugged since before the argument and I’ve texted her that I loved her two times after, and both times she took hours to respond even though I know she saw the message a lot earlier. I love my mom very much and it hurts to feel like she feels differently about me but I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if I can bring it up. Or if I even want to. It feels like she feels differently toward me. She came home from work today and I stayed by the door to greet her and she didn’t even acknowledge me. Didn’t talk to me or look at me but was talking to my little brother. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I was justified for being upset about the situation with everything considered but I don’t think she thinks so. I was her first child and we were alone for a long time before the rest of the family came into the picture and she’s my only close parental figure and I love her more than anybody on this planet. And then dealing with this ontop of my depression and having nobody to speak to about it because of my therapist never following through on when she says she’ll contact us makes everything worse. Everytime things get this dark I have to struggle not to SH because I used to a long time ago and it always made me feel better in the moment but I’d always regret it the next morning and it would hurt people close to me whenever they found out so I’ve stopped but everytime I feel like this the urge to do it is always there and I have to fight and struggle everytime not to do it again because I haven’t in so long and I know ill regret it but it’s like what’s even the point anymore. I don’t know what to do and I miss her

I have an interview today for this position! Does anyone have any tips that they wish they’d known before they started or how the interview might go? The digital coach said the interview will take an hour long, what should I expect? What questions might they ask? How did your interview go?

I have an interview today for the OGP position and I would like to know if anyone has any tips for me, what I should expect, any advice, etc!

I used to be able to sing beautifully. I would sing all day, as much as I could when I was younger. I could sing both really high and moderately low notes. I could belt. I loved singing so much and it was all I did, and I sounded really really good. Since I loved singing I decided I should join choir, but what I did not know is that when you are in Chior you mainly sing in your head voice. Back then I did not know there was a difference between head and chest voice. Since I was singing every single day in choir along with having just moved houses and not being able to sing loudly like I used to before, I did not realize my chest voice was becoming weaker. But after like a year, I did know that whenever I tried to sing like I used to it would always come out not sounding right and sounding horrible and sounding crackly and it would feel like I was constantly straining my throat which wasn’t happening before, but whenever I tried to sing in the voice that I used for choir, it sounded beautiful and came easily, and I could sing it for hours with no problems. Every time I try to sing regularly it sounded bad so I just stopped singing regularly altogether, and I only used my head voice for everything. I have an extremely strong head voice. It sounds beautiful every time I use it. But despite this it’s still a head voice and can’t compare to actual regular singing. It sounds clear and strong and feels comfortable, but I want to be able to sing in my regular voice again because I missed how it use to sound and it’s much better and natural sounding then just singing in your head voice all the time because when people sing songs they mostly sing in their chest voice and I want to be able to do that again but the problem is I don’t know what to do because I’ve been in Chior for like about five years and I haven’t sang in my chest voice or haven’t been able to sing properly in my chest for five years but the entire time my head voice has just been getting stronger and stronger. I got frustrated about this and just dropped out of chior altogether because I want to focus on getting my chest voice back.

Has this happened to anyone else? How do I fix this 💔

Wants:
Low racism toward Black people
Strong justice/accountability (especially for violence against women)
LGBTQ safety
Healthcare access/Free or affordable health care
Livable cost + realistic immigration path
Safe environment overall
Warm or warm-ish climate
Beaches

Plan:
Go to college in US(home) and eventually become an MRI technologist
Work for 1-2 years in US
Try to immigrate to chosen country

Does this place even exist