Hello lovely people! What it says on the tincan. I'm looking for movies similar to the tone of School Of Rock, and Peanut Butter Falcon.
Thank you for all your suggestions in advance!
Hello lovely people! Yesterday i was watching one of Arthur Brooks' videos about happiness and meaning* , and in it he talked about a psychological fallacy that people often fall into when they face a problem in their lives. He explained that people often hold this irrational belief that if they do just a little more of the thing that caused trouble for them, it'll result in their problem resolving itself, even though it doesn't work like that. For example, people eho are in debt might have a thought pattern like "I just need to spend a little more money in this specific area and then i'll get more money to pay off my debt."
I found the idea fascinating, in particular about it being a good way of parsing out your dominant instinct. The dominant instinct is the area of your life that you compulsively overdo, rely too much on, it's the hammer you bring to every nail and non-nail so to say. You'll be very neurotic about the needs of this instinct, and you'll bring this trick to every party, even when it obviously doesn't belong there.
Applying Arthur Brooks' quote to this mindset, your dom instinct is you causing problems with your dominant instinct and saying "just a little more of this will fix the problem." When faced with obstacles, you push for even more of it.
What it could look like is, as an SP dom you're already more sensitive to problems around resources and foundations (all emotional, psychological and physical concerns fall under this category), around sustainability and resilience and stability.
And you compulsively think that if you can just structure your lifestyle and your resources more, if you acquire just a little more resources, if you exert more control on your body, if you focus more on your internal personal state and the sensations of your body, then your problem will be solved.
As an SX dom you'd have a particular sensitivity towards a constant need for transformation and breaking out of yourself and breaking others out of their current state, and sensitivity towards desirability, chemistry and a state of chemical fusion. And your thought process is often something along the lines of "If i can cause something to break this context and transform it, if i can rise above myself/cause this person to rise above themselves, if i can show an attribute that mesmerises and entices or terrifies someone and disgusts them deeply, if i can intensify this context just a little more, then my problem will be solved." **
As a SO dom, you're very attuned to the state of your connection to other people, the position and roles you occupy in relation to them, how they might percieve you, and you find it extremely important to be a part of someone's life/something greater than yourself, to feel deeply engaged and involved as a part of something you love.
And you keep thinking that if you can just "control how other people percieve you and think of you, if you can just make them completely understand you as a person, if you align yourself with the right things and use the right symbols (the way you dress, the way you talk, bumper stickers, everything) to communicate what you're about, if you can network better and meintain more connections and fit in, if you can just find somewhere you deeply belong, or share more of yourself and contribute to others more," then your problems will be solved.
These descriptions are by no means the entirety of the instincts' expressions, but the way you double down on them can be pretty indicative of your dominant instinct methinks. Hope you guys find this information useful!
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* Watching the video is not necessary to understand this talk, but for anyone who might be curious, here is Arthur Brooks' talk.
** I intentionally left self medicating with sex out of the SX instinct's neurotic compulsion discussion, even though it's one of the prominent ways SX doms stay fixated on sx in detriment to everything else in their lives. The reason for exclusion is, self medicating with sex is not exclusively a sx dom attribution, all types do it, but for very different reasons.
a SP dom can overrely on sex as a way to keep hyperfocing on the sensations of their body, viewing it as a physical exercise and a way to control their physicality more. a SO dom can rely on sex to compensate for a sense of connection and companionship and relatedness and keeping relationships. They self medicate with sex because they want company and coexistence.
A SX dom however would over-rely on sex for the sense of heightened fusion, the chemistry and the intrusive boundary breaking aspects of the sexual act. the utter vulnurability and bareness of it, the extreme form of exploration and discovery of themselves and another person.
So i have been a soft and gentle person all my life, slow and careful in doing things, happy to sit in a corner for hours and immerse myself in something i love, like reading, watching the clouds, etc. But from a very young age i felt like i wasn't loved for my quiet nature, and that i had to act more vivacious and energetic and "on" in order to be seen. It felt like i didn't exist to others when i was my quiet self, i had to be more "lively" for anyone to notice me at all. I still carry the performance with me into my 30s, but it can feel very exhausting and inauthentic, not to mention very hard to keep up the act.
I wanted to ask about other quiet people's experiences with maybe having to act more energised than they feel naturally, how do you deal with that? Have you came to accept your soft self? Do you show up as your quiet self in front of other people, do you feel comfortable with it? Any words of encouragement for other gentle people out there like me who feel "less than" when they show up in their honest state?
Hi everyone, hope you're having a lovely day!
I'm trying to decide my type between 4 and 5, and one thing that keeps popping up as i research them is that they both struggle with a pervasive sense of pessimism and tend to "give up easily". This is very confusing to me, as the E4s in particular that i know in real life are actually quite driven and ambitious even, granted that they've all 4w3s. I myself count "not knowing how to give up" as one of my strengths, i might bitch and moan and claw at the walls and cry blood but "acceptance of a situation" is simply not in my vernacular and the next day i'll wake up and start pushing again. So i wanted to ask you guys, E4s and E5s and anyone who has insight into the two types, for your observations and experiences of this pessimism and defeatism that keeps showing up in type descriptions. How does it manifest for you, do you identify with giving up easily? Do you see it as an integral part of your personality and a key defining characteristic? And how do you identify with the quiet resilience of withdrawn types in general?
Hello Reddit, hope you're having a lovely day. I was assessing and reassessing my enneagram type for the billionth time this month, thought to come here and have some outsider's perspective on it and possibly get some additional resources to read on if you'd be kind enough to point me in the direction of them. I'm mostly stuck between the withdrawn types, but i welcome any additional differing feedback.
I don't really have a strong sense of self, never did, and my whole life more or less has been shaped around the "who am i?" question. Have had a motto since my younger years, telling others that "I can't tell you who i am, but i can show you what i love." And there's a piece of me in everything i love, it's been my primary way of discovering myself a little everyday, putting together the little pieces of me i find in things that draw me in and make me curious. Throughout this journey some notes seem to consistently come up for me, so here's a list.
• I almost never feel emotionally numb, it's my antithesis. I feel my emotions almost all the time and very strongly at that, they can be and are often overwhelming, mostly negative emotions, and i spend A LOT of time exploring and analysing my own subjective impression of a context. My subjective interpretation of events are far more vivid and vibrant and complex to me than the actual objective process of a situation, i prefer my own understandings of things over their often lackluster banal reality.
• Experiencing life with the utmost capacity of my emotional landscape has been so important to me that i've designed almost my entire life around it; avoiding all spoilers around a movie, valuing the first undiluted experience of something when it gives me the most intense impression due to novelty, waiting to really be in a mood for something, etc. This issue is so bold for me that i had the hardest time finding the right medication for my mental illness, most medications made me feel flat and emotionless and it was the one side effect i couldn't tolerate for more than 3-4 days. I have to feel things, and in those days i'd find myself thinking terrifying thoughts and seeking content that would scare me just so i could force myself to feel something.
• Frustration and disappointment is my middle name. I often find myself frustrated and disillusioned about how bland and mundane and boring and superficial and shallow people can be, this feeling made it very hard for me to connect with anyone in my pre-medication days. I seek depth and substance and nuance and complexity in everything, and i find that in most conversations people don't want to dig deep and explore and turn over stones like i do.
• on that same front, i'm a very curious person and am often drawn to the dark side of life, and feel comfortable diving deep into topics that scares the bejesus out of the average joe. I can set my own emotions and judgement aside and solely focus on the mechanisms of disturbing phenomena, and go so far to the point of traumatising myself and getting paralysed by fear. I have had to consciously teach myself that i have limits and should honor them before my curiosity leads me to places i can't recover from. But the morbid curiosity and the enticing pull to explore extreme topics is always there. I love the transgressive, the provocative and the taboo.
• I'm an observer of life. The safest place for me has always been my head, i love staying there, and my primary way of engaging with life is to observe and study in a theoretical way for a long time before i touch anything. I love watching life happen, and watching things is as enjoyable as doing them, if not more.
• I love novelty and a constant sense of discovery and uncovering things, i try new experiences, new thought frameworks almost everyday and am constantly reshaping and reinventing myself and my thought framework. Trying new things is my comfortzone and i'm comfortable with a lot of discomfort, whether it be physical, emotional or psychological. This is another thing that i feel like i pushed myself so far in that it backfired on me and burnt me out. I'm so anti comfort and used to do everything the hard way that it completely wears me out and forces me to the other extreme end of the spectrum where for awhile i can't tolerate any discomfort and sink into myself, before i swing the pendulum to the other end again and throw myself into discomfort.
Thank you all for your comments in advance!
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Hello everyone, hope you're having a lovely day.
My writing goal right now is to write microfiction, flash fiction and short stories. I rarely think in terms of plot though, and i get bored VERY VERY easily, so even something like a vague summary outline can render an idea predictable to me and i wont write it, once i have the gist of a situation my motivation to hash it out evaporates. What i DO write right now are sort of literary fragments and vignettes that come to me out of nowhere, imageries that mostly paint a vibe, a feeling, some character dynamic, etc. My thinking feels so random and often frustrating, if i write 5 vignettes in a day they'll almost always be about 5 different, disconnected topics, and they have no beginning or end, just vibes. Throughout the years i have gathered collections of these staccato fragments, they're very short, often under 300 words.
My question is, is there any way for me to turn these fragments into a story? I'm not necessarily looking to make a linear, beginning-middle-end writing process for myself, but i do want to write stories that feel cohesive and congruent, and not just vignettes. Any and all tips on how i can approach writing as someone with an easily bored mind is greatly appreciated.
Hello everyone, hope you're having a wonderful day!
I really love reading and writing lyrical, emotionally resonant and evocative prose, but i'm burnt out and tired and for the past year it's been so hard to get into the headspace and summon my emotions enough to write these kinds of prose. I still write every other day, but what i can manage right now is mostly minimal, understated prose, and my brain tells me it all reads like a mere "starting outline" and dry and distant unless i can rewrite it all in highly artistic and poetic language, and i can't. It's a constant mental pressure on the back of my head, i feel like a failure, especially because every other writing class i've taken taught me that the question to ask yourself while drafting and redrafting is "how can i write this idea in the most evocative way possible?" and i feel like everything i write right now is just basic and drab.
Please help me reframe my thinking around neurotically needing my prose to read as visceral, and maybe approach it from a different angle. Thank you for all your suggestions in advance!
Hello everyone, hope you're having a lovely day.
My writing goal right now is to write microfiction, flash fiction and short stories. I rarely think in terms of plot though, and i get bored VERY VERY easily, so even something like a vague summary outline can render an idea predictable to me and i wont write it, once i have the gist of a situation my motivation to hash it out evaporates. What i DO write right now are sort of literary fragments and vignettes that come to me out of nowhere, imageries that mostly paint a vibe, a feeling, some character dynamic, etc. My thinking feels so random and often frustrating, if i write 5 vignettes in a day they'll almost always be about 5 different, disconnected topics, and they have no beginning or end, just vibes. Throughout the years i have gathered collections of these staccato fragments, they're very short, often under 300 words.
My question is, is there any way for me to turn these fragments into a story? I'm not necessarily looking to make a linear, beginning-middle-end writing process for myself, but i do want to write stories that feel cohesive and congruent, and not just vignettes. Any and all tips on how i can approach writing as someone with an easily bored mind is greatly appreciated.
Hello lovely people, hope you're having a wonderful day.
I've been going through a very bad no good case of writer's block and am pretty burnt out, and one of the first things i tend to lose in my writer's block is a sense of narrative and plot and continuity. I can't thread anything together if my life depends on it, i just think in moments and snapshots when i manage to conjure anything at all.
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I try to keep my practice alive and my writing muscles warm by writing little fragments every day throughout the day, even if they amount to single lines of scattered observations. But i'm very self-conscious about them and have stopped sharing my efforts even with friends and loved ones because i've been surrounded all my life with people who value finished projects, longform linear narratives mostly, occasionally making space for short stories, and so the mindset has rubbed off on me i guess. It feels strange because i personally am an avid micro/flash fiction and short story fan and have an affinity for literary fragments and collect them all the time, but still feel like my own vignettes don't amount to much.
I'd love to know what other people think of this practice and if they see it as a legitimate literary form, do they love to read and collect literary fragments, would they be interested in reading vignette collections if offered, etc?
Hello lovely people, i'm looking for movies that have a quiet, soft, introspective, emotionally resonant tone with a sensory rich immersive cinematography. The examples i remember are often slice of life, coming of age projects with a kid protagonist, and those elements are lovely but not necessary to include in your suggestions. My favs include
• mid90s • Amanda (2018) • Tomboy • museum hours • Wildhood • The Peanut Butter Falcon
Thank you in advance for all your suggestions and i hope you have a wonderful day 🧡
Hello lovely people, i'm looking for movies that have a quiet, soft, introspective, emotionally resonant tone with a sensory rich immersive cinematography. The examples i remember are often slice of life, coming of age projects with a kid protagonist, and those elements are lovely but not necessary to include in your suggestions. My favs include
• mid90s • Amanda (2018) • Tomboy • mindnight diner • museum hours • Wildhood • The Peanut Butter Falcon
Thank you so much in advance for all your suggestions and i hope you have a wonderful day 🧡