r/writinghelp

I am trying to decide which title would be best for my first novel. It's the first book in a series. The series name is The Flame of Val.

My 2 finalists are:

1. The Flame of Val: Sand and Stone

2. The Flame of Val: Shattered

Here's the rough premise:

Rhivah is the only heir to her father’s throne. But, should he die before she marries, the crown will fall to the rival royal House. Her family has fought for generations against their oppressive influence. She is prepared to do her duty, but she is also determined to marry for love. And those two outcomes are presently at odds. The man she has chosen has distant ties to the rival bloodline.

Elan has a fierce reputation and dubious loyalties. His father died serving Rhivah’s father and trained him to be a weapon in service to the crown. A man of many masks, he is especially adept and gaining trust and remorseless about betraying it when it suits his purposes.

When the king is poisoned, Rhivah has to rely on a man who knows her home, her family and her nation–but that she hardly knows, doesn’t like and most certainly doesn’t trust. But he may be her only chance to save her people.

--

In the world, Val is a mountainous land. There is also the land of Kehl'ai which is a desert landscape. That's part of the appeal of Sand and Stone.

But, I think Shattered fits for Rhivah's expectations for her future.

Which one do you prefer? What book would you be more likely to pick up?

I appreciate hearing your opinions!

Hi! So, in the story I'm writing, there are 2 characters in a really unhealthy relationship/living situation, and at some point Character A slaps Character B across the face as hard as he can. Basically, could that hurt his hand at all?

Im a 19 year old with no experience or talent but I do have an imagination that needs alot of shaping. I dont write, but i want to get into it, i have a desire to learn and write my stories. I have an idea for a book set in a fictional world, narrated by the Sun as it watches what unfolds. This draft feels clunky, awkward, and not book worthy. I definitely havent found my writers voice. So i wanted to paste it here for someone to be more specific on how to improve it and where to go from here

"Vivia was crouched by a river in a dark forest on Planet Rhythm. The plants and the leaves were in various shades of red, purple, and black. The sky was burnt orange and valleys had formed in the cloud layer.

The sun was rising and now was normally the time she would go to sleep before the adults and the children woke. She had walked a short distance away from her clan and found deep reverence in the water that had carved a small valley in the land. Near the shoreline steeped in pebbles, she held her knees to her chest and one hand dipped in the river where a few tiny, white, transluscent fish were swimming through her fingers.

She had soft leathery skin slightly similar to the soft velvet belly of a dragon. It was a dark sangria colour with thousands of white markings making her look almost like the cosmos. Her eyes were big and yellow with one main pupil in the centre of each, and dozens of little ones scattered around the iris. Behind each pupil was a mirror which aided in night vision for her kind, but it gave off a beautiful effect when the light hit them correctly. It looked like there were stars in her eyes, the way her pupils sparkled as the low light of the sun skimmed through the trees and bounced off them.

It began to drizzle and she didnt react at all. Just kept innocently interacting with the fish. The rain was noticeably getting heavier but still no reaction except to wipe her face occasionally with the other arm that she had tucked between her knees and chest. The rain had scared the fish away from the shallow waters and left Vivia alone. She dropped the weight on her heels and sat down with her knees still tucked.

Her hair was short and jet black and grew naturally in one direction away from the face. There wasnt an obvious hairline, the hair sort of faded as it got near the centre of the face. It had a coating of natural wax on it though, designed to withstand constant downpour. The design made it so that the scalp was protected from moisture as the droplets just rolled straight off, and the growth made sure to keep water away from the nose and mouth. The hair grew into a little mane down the nape of the neck and the top of the back to in between her shoulder blades then faded out immediately. She was small, just a child, around 14."

So as the title implies the issue im currently facing is the aim is to show that both characters are messed up, but im worried it reads as making excuses for the abuser. A little context before the scene in question. Both characters are from very broken homes and unstable backgrounds. They had been dating for nearly a year at this point and the arguments and fights between them have slowly been ramping up throughout the story. Finally the male MC reached a breaking point when the female MC verbally struck a known sore spot and he backhand her in the mouth. The fight ends abruptly at that point as the slap came as an absolute shock to the both of them and he immediately leaves without a word.

The scene in question takes place a few days after. Since the slap the male MC hasn't shown up to normal spots and refuses to answer his phone to any call or text from the female MC. Fearful the relationship might end the female MC finds him in his garage and another argument insues.

The male MC wants to end everything, claiming he crossed a line that you can't come back from. He claims he seen it more then enough times with the men his mother dated and that even if this time its just a slap that its simply going to be a string of promises that it won't happen again until it does. Then the cycle will repeat over and over with the gap between shrinking until its a daily occurrence.

The female MC retorts that he's not the first man to hit her, but he's the first that stood up for her. The intention is to show she has normalized abuse since she has dealt with it her entire life and that she'd rather continue being with him for the protection he provides then leave because he hits her. Her entire argument essentially revolving around the fact that abuse is a common occurrence and she'd rather be with someone that "just needs to work on his anger"

This is where I run into the problem though because I feel as if it portrays the idea that abuse is ok. I'm not sure how you tote that line properly though as thats essentially the exact argument of the other character. Like the scene is supposed to show how damaged they both are as he is terrified of become the very kind of man he swore he wouldn't be and the only outcome to prevent it he can come up with is that they simply can't be together. She is afraid to lose him as, in her view, he's the only man to respect her and care for her.

TLDR: How do you properly write a victim down playing and dismissing abusive behavior without coming across as if you the author condone such behavior.

First post here. Just be aware this would be my first attempt writing ANYTHING, so any and ALL advice on anything I mention is welcome, but obviously theres this specific thing im unsure about.

So, ive always had a range of characters ive liked that ive created. Two of them, named Finnegan Mandoza and Alex Fuller, are the two ive developed the furthest in lore, background, personality, etc, and conveniently, ive been trying to write a fight between the two, a "world cup" kinda thing, as they are the two strongest in the story (I have ZERO intention of making anyone stronger, as balancing is frustrating...). Obviously I can go in depth about powers and such if required, but ill go over the particular power, and the quirk of it, thats causing me the dilemma.

Alex is a super-genius. Not original, I know, but by GOD is it so fun to play with. His main strength comes from a nanobot weave(?) In his skin, making him a stone-wall style character, insane durability and mildly enhanced strength, though its not his main shtick. The drawback of this is that he can only take so much beating before these nanobots begin to fail, which I intend to show by pulling attention to the first drawing of blood from him. Issue is, once this happens, he gets progressively weaker, turning the fight from a solid match to being unbelievably unfair, as his (at this point) broken tech and durability was his ace, and without it, hes just a normal dude.

So I ask, how do I make this transition more seamless? How do I write it so it doesnt seem like a cop out excuse to choose a winner, how do I make it so it doesnt seem like im unnescarily nerfing him?

Again, open to all advice, but mostly looking for help for this specific issue

Hey!

English is my second language but I've been learning it ever since I was a kid. I largely prefer to read, and consume any sort of content for that matter, in English. Thing is, every once in a while (let's say every third page of any given novel) I stumble upon a word that I don't understand. It doesn't take away any enjoyment out of reading for me, because those particular words that I don't understand are somewhat easily understandable from the context, but it takes away my hopes and motivations of ever being a writer. I started writing about a year ago, and am close to finishing my first draft. Thing is, even though I don't possess the smallest vocabulary out there, I feel like I don't have enough to use at any given time. It feels like I know many words, but struggle to recall them when I need them. Would the second draft resolve that for me? Should I simply keep on keeping on and focus on flowery prose once I'm done laying down the story?

I’ve had an idea in my head that I’ve been slowly fleshing out for years. Then life gets in the way etc and I leave it for it to resurface in my brain a few months after. I want to try my hand at writing the story because in my head (like many others I’m sure) it feels like an epic fantasy/sci fi.

My friend recommended doing short stories to flesh out the characters and the world and I’ve stumbled across a few Reddit pages that gives advice. What are some tips you could offer for an absolute novice?

I lve recently discovered a passion for writing and i have all these great ideas for fantasy worlds with some interesting themes to explore within them. But I know nothing about writing and would like to know from the experts where should I start in teying to develop this skill. Ill really love to get deep into this hobby even if i never become a rich and famous writer as long as I get to write great stories.

I've been writing my whole life ever since I was a little baby (Aka like 8 years old) And recently i actually won a contest at my school, So I was just wondering What people think of my writing and how maybe I could improve.
It's 6:00 a.m. The bus is going to be there in 5 minutes or less.

“Mom!! Where is my computer?” Livy yells at her mom from across the house.

But no response…

Once again she yells, “mom!!!?”

And again no response….

She starts to fidget with her hands, while slowly walking over to her mom's room.

Then.. she yells again, “Mom!! Are you there??”

And again no response. Livy is starting to get worried but the second she turns the Corner, she realizes everything.

She stands there, With her hands slowly falling towards her sides.

“…Of course.” she whispers to herself.

Her mom is there laying on her bed drunk with alcohol bottles all around her.

She thinks to herself, “Again? I mean come on,This is the fifth time this week…”

As she's staring at her mom, she hears something in the distance…

(Honk honk)

She jumps up realizing that it's the bus, and instantly starts running towards the door.

“Dang it, dang it, Dang it,” She starts saying over and over again in our head hoping that she doesn't miss it…Hoping that it doesn't leave without her.

But right as she opens the door, she hears it…

The specific sound that anyone who has ever gone to in-person school knows…
The sound of the school bus starting up and driving off.

She tries to run after it,Yelling, “Wait I'm here!, Wait!!!!!!”

As she slowly starts to slow down, She realizes that she messed it, She thinks, “Dang it, I messed the bus again, What am I supposed to do now?”

She slowly melts and falls to the ground, thinking about what will happen if her dad finds out, thinking about what he might do to her..

While she's thinking about this, one of her hands slowly starts hovering over an area on her face. It's a giant bruise.

As her hands have her over it, she thinks, “The first time hurt enough,I don't know what I would do if…

If he….

“Hey you okay?” Someone says while tapping her shoulder.

Livy Freezes for a second, Then jumps up.

“Of course!! Everything's perfect, I just accidentally missed the bus, Silly me, am I right.”
She says while giggling.

Gabriel, the someone who tapped her shoulder earlier, notices a bruise on her right cheek.

She thinks for a second then says out loud, “Who gave you that bruise?”

Livy stands there for a second, shocked that this random girl just asked that out loud.

“Oh no,You're mistaken!!” She shouts out loud while giggling, "I'm pretty clumsy so I got this from falling while walking to school the other day.”

It's pretty obvious to Gabriel that she's making all of this up, but she rather not make her uncomfortable by attempting to pry into what happened, so she Just says…

“Okay then, Since you're so clumsy, how about I walk you to school? You know so you don't fall and bruise yourself again, How's that sound?”

Livy freezes, Then while her face turns Bright red, She also jumps up in the air,And start saying, “What? No, It's fine, it's fine, really!!! I mean it's just a short walk anyways, I'll be fine.”

She says While trying to hide her bright red face.
Gabriel Starts Walking past Livy, But right before entirely passes by,She grabs Livy's hand And says.

“Shut up and stop making excuses, No matter what, we're still walking the same way, I mean we do go to the same school silly.” 

While Gabriel is giggling and dragging Livy by her arm, Livy’s Mind is scrambling. She's thinking about hundreds of different things like: Is she really pulling me? Am I really going to walk with her? I mean like…Does someone that Hot Want to walk with me?

While all of these thoughts are going through her head, She slowly moves her opposite hand from the one that Gabriel is dragging her by, Over her mouth, And then,She feels how hot her face isAnd realizes…

“…Holy shit,I'm blushing so hard right now, Does she know? I mean of course she knows, What a stupid question, Stupid Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid…”

Gabriel notices how much Livy is blushing and stops.

…She stops walking and starts snapping her fingers in front of Livy's face, “Hey you good? Hello?” Gabriel says while still snapping her fingers.

Livy snaps back to reality and says, “Sorry, i, ummm…”

Before Livy can say anything else, Gabriel interrupts and says, “Hey, You know if you're not feeling well I can take you home or something.”

Wait What? No, no, no, I'm, ummm, I'm fine I think, Just a little dizzy is all.
Livy says while stuttering and holding her head.

Gabriel looks down, and sees Livy's legs shaking…

I think, I'm about to pass…

…Gabriel notices that Livy is about to fall, So she catches her, Then says, 
“Damn it, If I would have known I was going to be catching girls today I wouldn't have worn heels.
The end for now, at least I think, probably, maybe, who knows.

I'm thinking about writing a historical time travel romance but I can't figure out what time period and love interest would be best. I know I want to write about an ancient time period but whether the main male character is a close friend, family member, a trusted confidant, or a subordinate (like Mark Antony is to Julius Caesar.) If anyone has any advice or ideas that'd be great.