u/PotentialUpstairs369

Hay, so im wondering if i can get others perspective on this situation as i dont know if my boss is handleing it correctly or if he is just trying to avoid having to deal with things Sorry this is quite long but thanks for taking the time to read and respond.

So a while ago my co worker was hired, a couple months into the season (this is a seasonal job) Everything was fine up to a point, Things seem to have in my opinion gotten out of hand and hounestly i dont think this guy should even be working anymore.

Im going to go a bit into back story first so that my most recent one makes a bit of sense So a while ago he refused to work with me on a session where i was help if he needed and there to get photos as there were a few autistic kids and adhd kids in this group, it was also his sign off to run this particular thing too so the boss was going to be there for the brifes then leave, His responce when he was told i would be there was do you really think that is required and then the boss went outside with him and he said that he didnt think it was appropriate and that i had annoyed him the other day by saying something and he didnt like how i talked to him ect. (I was unaware) the boss told me and later that evening i apologized to him saying i didnt know i had done something and i was sorry for whatever i did do and if he could let me know so i wouldn't repeat it in the future, the responce i got from my co worker was that we were all fine he just wanted to run the session on his own since it was a sign off and we had no issues As you can see this is very diffrent to what he told the boss vs what im was told, I did show the boss this too who said i didnt have to apologise in the first place and iv mabye done it too soon and he wont admitted theres an issue,

We also do live together and the boss is also the landlord and there has been house issue which i wont go into but anytime i try and talk to him about house stuff he always just saying lets keep it at work chat i dont have time to get into that i have other things to do.

This coworker will also not listen to us and ignore us if we suggest a way to do things or tell him what needs done (in a general this needs done and this needs done im going to do this) and he then dose things in his way and it results in us having to fix it a good exsample is some signs i made i had mesured and cut a few boards and spray glued a couple lamintated signs down all he had to do was follow and continue useing what i had already done as the exsample and put the sings up instead he done it his way and cut boards that were too small and celotaped the signs to them screwed through the lamaintaed sheets causeing them to need replaced as the water got in and all the posts he put up for these signs had to be replaced aswell as he used old scrap wood instead of proper posts and his excuse was its not permanent so whats it matter,

This has also lead to him on a session almost injuring a guest as we were unloading a canoe trailer i suggested using the group in a certain way to unload the trailer and his responce was well that persons not here so we are not doing it that way, he proceeded to get 2 guest to unload canoes and they went to unload a high up one before i was able to say anything to stop them they had already pulled it off the trailer and it was above their heads and one of the guys started falling sideways with it and fell ocer and the canoe landed just infront of his cheast luckly not hitting him, i checked on him twice he was okay and the co worker who was incharge of the session just put his head up and said its all just part of the fun, he later has then lied to the boss saying nobody fell over on his session there were 2 of us who saw it happen as another co worker was droping people off in the other van but this person is refusing that it happened and thats were its been left as the boss dosnt want to say we have repoted it,

Iv also been reported to the boss by him for somehouse things like complaing about the other housemates girlfriend being here when she was visting which is soo far from the truth all because i asked him if i knew how much longer she was here for, while he was complaing about them laughing in his room and wanting to tell them to shut up and if it annoyed me ect. (House issue stuff) Also he invites people round to stay and gives us no notice or warning in the house we all rent from work that he is doing so. I dont mind people round but its nice to know when you might be kept up a bit late from noise or when theres suddenly 3 extra people ect..

He also recently go our recption person in to trouble which was cleared up but he was messageing the boss and said that she hadnt shown up for work and that he hadnt seen her. .so the boss texted her asking where she was and called her, she cleared it up because she was in the office and later ask this co worker why he told the boss she wasnt in when he had seen her and she talked to us earlier that day and her car was there his responce was that he forgot that she had talked to him and was in and laughed it off,

And lastly the other week amd i found out today the reason, i was meant to be on session with this co worker, the boss asked for the two of us to work together (coworker isnt signed off to run this session) and a freelancer would be working on his own so i went and told the coworker that me and him were working together ect.. Once we started the session i heard the freelancer say to his he could go with him if he wanted to but i was too busy getting kids kitted up to really be paying attention to what they were talking about, once at the gorge i eneded up working solo with a challangeing group while the cowaorker went with the freelancer with an easier group (i had a non verbal autistic kid in my group that was having to get pulled up things as we were gorge walking and he couldnt process the instructions) today i found out the freelancer has told the boss that this coworker said that we refuse to work with eachother which is why the freelancer offered him to go with him. The part i dont understand is that this coworker hasnt went to the boss and told him that he refuses to work with me and the last chat iv had with him recently was that we are all good there are no issues, everything is fine

The boss says he dosnt know why and we are a managers nightmare and iv told him i have no issues with working with him and at this point in the house im just staying out his way and in work time im just doing whats needed and being polite to him, (iv even been going out my way to say thank you for helping me, i appreciate it ect..) But the boss isnt trying to fix the issue there instead he is just leaving it and making sure we dont really work together on session Theres no talking to him about what the issue is ect and its to the point the coworker is going behind backs to make sure he dosnt work with me. Without saying anything directly to anyone

So what can be done at this point, we know the boss isnt going to fire him which he probaly should off a good while ago and even admits that he is struggling with his behaviour but wont apporach him about certain things like above to find out whats really going on, So what do you do when a boss wont take action and would rather just act like everythings fine and just keep you apart I know keeping us apart and not working together is a responce to it but its not solveling whats really going on.

Im constantly watching my back and have had to defend myself a few time as false Things have been said about me like the girlfriend thing ect...

So im having issues with one of my 2 housemates before people say move out i cant as its work accomidation and i dont have control over who lives in the house either

I will be writting my landlord an email as he is also our boss im just in a gathering the evidence stage but want to also see if there is anything i can try before i go that far.

So far any attempts on the issues have either been ignored comoletly or followed for a little bit before going back

Tonight is feeling like my final staw as he came home with a couple of friends and proceeded to complain to then about me locking the front door (which should be locked anyway) but he hasnt told us that he was having people round either and we have had conversations in the past about letting people know when you are going to have people over even up to an hour before they come but this is the second time now he has given no warning,

To claify its not having people round thats the issue its having zero warning of stragers (to me) in the house that spikes my anxity vs if i know people are coming i can be prepaired for it

But other issues have been for exsample is him smoking at the front of the house right below my bedroom windows which are open 24/7 as im in the attic room and i have asked him not to smoke there and for him to put his butts in a glass jar i put out for him to put anywhere, he threw a tantrum proceeded to park where i have always parked just to annoy me for that one day onlt has never parked there again or before and proceeded to contuine to smoke there when he also has an area right at the back door aswell. So both entrances to the house smell of his old butts expisually when wet. And also has complained about me turning the heating down in the house because upstairs is like a suna with all the windows open and they have the wondows open downstairs and turn the heat up instead of closeing windows.

So i cant really win with this person if i say something there will be a retalation of sorts coming back my way.

So to paint a picture iv been talking a seeing this guy lets say V for 2 months now, I was up and he was going away on a trip So we decided we would meet up,

This will talk about periods if your not comfratable with that stop reading here.

I told v before hand that i was on my period and that im at the tail end of it meaning iv not got a heavy flow its just some spotting every now and again and if that was an issue, If it was we wouldnt meet and if he was okay with that we would He said that it wasnt a problem and to come over, So i went over and things started as you do And then after he got off he told me he "forgot" he didnt like period sex and that the smell of blood put him off, Thats fair enough by why not say right at the start As he got to basically use to me to get himself off with me getting zero pleasure out of it which isnt why i went round i would have said no if he told me thats what he wanted.

He also also removed and blocked me on everything aswell so i can no longer contact him which is very diffrent to what he said to my face which was we will another time your not on.

We do have a few mutural friends and WIBTAH if i was to tell them the truth and why we arnt seeing eachother anymore potentually before he tell them something if he dose as we all hung out together. Which im assuming being blocked i will no longer be around when he is around.

So not sure if this is the right reddit to ask this, so please remove if not

So iv never really had period sex before and i was seeing a guy who i told i was on the tail end of my period (meaning im spoting but theres not much left ) he said that was okay, But after meeting up he got his fun and then i was left with absoulty nothing, no plesure what so ever, He said after that he forgot that he dosnt like period sex and that he could smell blood and it put him off.
He mostly likly smelled the pad in my underwear which has light spotting in as i had went to the bathroom right before hand and when i wiped there was no blood on the tp.

So my question is, dose it seem like the person im seeing was just using me for their own plesure as i got nothing out of it and was rushed out pretty quickly after by them. Or do you think its genuine to forget you dont like period sex where there is little to no blood prrsent amymore.

Guesse the encounter has left me feeling a bit used rather than a genuine seeing echother and having some fun before they go away for a few days.

So recently had a dispute with a housemate/coworker that has been brewing for about 2 weeks i would say , i have the posts on my profile is you would like to do you research and look into it more, its too much to go over.

But tonight has felt like the final staw for me which is a bad thing as this person i also have to work with as i feel as though he is pourposly going out his was to do things towards me, And in the house itself it seems like he is avoding me completly but hounestly thats not a bad thing right now,

But in terms of bpd i can feel myself spliting on him and wanting nothing to do with him anymore because of his words and actions and i dont know how to really adress it or handle it Because im right in it at the point my heads saying well if he thinks those things about you then he dosnt deserve your time or enery and just avoid him completly as i dont have alot of nice things to say to him if any at all.

I dont know how im going to handle working with him while my head is in this place.

Update for i dont know if im in the wrong or if my roommate is overreacting to a valid request

So in my last post i posted up a conversation where i nicly asked one of my roommates in our house issue chat to please stop throwing away his fag butts into the bush and if he could possibly smoke away from the front door of the house as my windows are above it and i can smell it in my bedroom at night when he dose,

If you want the full picture go to my previous post.

He has just returned home today after being away for 3 days and iv got home from work to find that he has parked in the space i always park in

Before people say it i know i dont own the parking space but we all have had our spots we always park in

This feels like a petty or passive agressive way to try assert himself if that make sence as since we have lived together the past 2 months (iv lived her for 5 months) he has never once parked in "my" space even if i have not been home when he has got back first, and also its further away from the house so has to walk further to his car now as he usually parks right in front of the steps up to our front door. To be clear there was no one else home so all of the parking spots were open use.

Do you think this is just him trying to passivly agressivly retaliate towards me or am i over thinking it,

I feel like its him claiming his teritory so to speak as his reaction to me asking him not to smoke at the front door was to say we all pay rent and have an equile right to exsit in the house but he is the only smoker and it is a health hazzard. So i feel lots more little things like this are going to start happening.

Bit of a long read but i appreciate anyone who has input into this situation.

So i live in a house with my two coworkes as its a seasonal job and we pay our work cheaper rent which is seperate from out work contract

I (f28) Live with A(m21) and B(m29) Me and A are okay i have asked and we spent the evening playing some disk golf and talking about bikes and making plans to go out and do other things in our time off but B seems to have an issue with me and we dont know why

This has started about a week ago now woth in work i was meant to be on session with B to help him if he needed it as it was his sign off session but B was acting bery hostile towards me and the boss could feel his body langue and tension and he was saying to the boss do you really think thats appropriate (refering to me on session with him) He told the boss i had done/said something the other day that annoyed him and he didnt want me there, the boss asked me about it but i have no clue what he was on about as he didnt make me aware that i had done something to him, I later that day Appologized to B saying i didnt know or was aware that i had done something and im sorry if i had ect.. B replied with no your all good it was bothing to do with you it was my sign off session and i didnt want anyone else there, That is very diffrent to what he was telling the boss as the boss was asking me about it and telling me what B was saying

FASTFOWARD to this week i on a day off was cleaning up our garden, grass cutting, cutting bushes back ect and while doing so i had to puck up 169 cigarette butts mainly out of the bush by the front door which was also creating an unpleasant smell, as when B smokes out front he throws the ends into the bush by the door, I sent a message in out house chat which is for rasing house issues, requests and general chat between the 3 of us, This is what i have asked Can you please put your cigarete ends in these glass jars on currently on your window sill and we will bin them on the bin runs instead of in the bushes by the door. (Or move them to where you would like them)

Iv just cleaned up the garden and dont like that by the front door always smells of cigaretes, which may be a smell you may not notice,

Thank you (Also while on the topic at night are you able to smoke out back or further away from the house as if the wind is in the right direction i can smell you smoking in my room as my windows are usually open) Any issues please talk to me.

Also please dont leave buds over the ground at the backdoor as i have picked several up by the backdoor, I have emptied out your dish by the backdoor

His reponce was the following Your continous negative attitude is beginning to create an unnecessary and unfriendly environment. I'm not even at home and don't need to be reading paragraphs of complaints. We all have equal right to exist in the house we are paying to live in I respect that things bother you, but kindly refrain from putting things like that I this house chat

I asked how he would like me adress it in the future then as this is what this chat is for His reply was If you want to personly have a go at someone, send them a private message. I think it's important to consider how it comes across

I will say i wasnt having a go at him just asking if he could do things diffrently as he is the only smoker in the house and i dont want to be smelling or breathing in his second hand smoke. I feel as though he has overreacted and we are wondering if he is dealing with things we dont know about and taking it out on me.

For further reading if you wish the remark about the continuous negative things are me adressing issues in the house which as of recently i have bot commeted or complained about the kitchen cleanliness in a month now because its been alot better and last week i did complain about my personal dish being used by B but i didnt direct it at him as A told me he said not to use it as it was mine and B used it anywhay for his dead gutted uncooked fish, I have my own personal dishes which they kniw are mine as they are kept separate from the house dishes as i have issue with using shared dishes so i got my own. All i said was please do not use these dishes they are my personal dishes i have bought for myself as i am funny with shared dishes they are not house dishes And also someone put my cloths on in the washing machine thinking they were there and damaged a few of my cloths So all i said was can we please not put other people cloths on to wash as a few of my cloths have been damaged by being washed at a too high temperature thanks. So i really dont know what he is on about when he says im creating a unfriendly environment in the house when A has no issues with me as far as im aware.

So i s he just overreacting or have i done something wrong what is you opinion

So I'm wondering if i have been to much but i don't think since my only request in this house has been that the kitchen is kept clean so you can walk in and make food without having to clean first and that dishes are done in a timely manor and not left beside the sink for days and that the bins don't overflow and I'm not the only person taking then out.

The two guys i live (as a solo female) with have been doing a better job at it recently to the other extreme of taking bins out before they are even full though but at least its getting done,

But recently the vibe in the house has changed and not in a good way, one of the guys has always just kept to himself which is fine and the other would sit out in the kitchen and we would chat away sometimes until very late at night but since the overflowing bins and me putting a bin chart on the fidge (which is to keep us hounest and prevent it from just being one person doing the bins all the time again) things have changed, roommate 1 still stays in room not much has changed there but he avoids being in the room with us now completely when he can and roommate 2 - now doesn't sit and chat and doesn't even really talk unless you try and even at that its a quick chat and away back to his room or outside to smoke.

Roommate 2 (29) has came in one day and i mentioned i had set the fire alarm off and he went into complaining about the bin chart and how i made my point and we don't need it and about roommate 1 (21) and how he dosnt do anything and is a child in his eyes so he doesn't listen to him and how me and him are adults so we should just be doing things, i suggested then why don't we have a chore chart with weekly jobs and he denied it because of the above statement and said we are all old enough we should just be cleaning up after ourselves we should need to do a bathroom clean or a kitchen clean ( this coming from the guy that doesn't clean his pee off the toilet seat lid or poo stains from the toilet)

Then hes complain about how hes has the smallest room in the house and the least furniture and was last to move in and still has to pay the same rent as us, which i dont think he has the smallest room as my area is long but i have angled roofs and can touch my celling with arms bent (5ft 3 for refrance) and i only have 4 steps across to walk in.

He was also complaining about the fridge and only having one shelve but i said to him he has 2 but the other roommate had started to use it because he wasn't

I also tried to talk to him about how it was intresting watching another person i hadnt seen before run a session completly diffrent and that lead to a whole lecture about how everyone runs things diffrently what do you expect ect. I just replied with i was only saying it was intresting to see their way of running it.

On top of these things i have heard them a few times now talking about me by name and about how they would both rather live alone if they could then live in this house with me (because im asking for a clean kitchen)

And last night out my bedroom window i heard one of them say, did you take out the bin better mark it on the chart so she knows you done it and the other person responded with a remark and the first roommate then just laughed at what he said

So in summary we no longer hangout and chat, they are talking about me behind my back and i can hear them, and one inparticuallr is starting to complain and or "bite back" at anything i say so i don't know what to do about it because i cant move as its work provided accomidations and i also have bpd and its really starting to affect my mental health with the changes amd mew way they are acting, like my depression is coming back and the feelings that come with that because i no longer feel in a way welcome in my house and like im the villain for not wanting to live in a messy kitchen

I also hate the bathroom and that i have to clean the toilet constantly before i use it due to pee or hairs on the seat or the beard hairs constantly cover the sink and window sill but i dont complain about the bathroom because id prefer a clean kitchen.

Hi

I wanted to see if anyone has expirances similar as I'm trying to figure out why this keeps happening but don't have time for the doctors as it takes weeks to get an appointment

So recently its started happening that i get my period and then it ends and straight after im getting this white yellowing but mostly thin discharge thats leaving me very wet aswell and at a certain point it gets a bit itchy for a day or two (the type of itch that you cant get ride of)

Im wondering if anyone has expiranced simmilar and what it was

My thoughts are that its mabye a yeast or bv infection as its occured twice now straight after my periods ended

Any input on what it might be would be good, i am willing to go to a doctor but it just takes so long to get an appointment.