u/Powering_through_26

Deleting Reddit equals deleting the last of her breaking my heart. I think it’s time to disconnect the final mutual media before blocking her and moving on. I just can’t do this anymore.

Only know you love her when you let her go.

And you let her go. 💔😞

I finally opened up my heavily guarded heart to a woman I fell in love with. And I feel like she used it against me. I never thought I’d trust another woman before her and well, not immediately but eventually I did with her. I fell in love with her at first sight and it’s been trying for almost two years now. But now I realize I made the mistake of trusting another woman that I let in so close to me when after she proved to me that she will never really be there for me when I do actually need her. As my best friend and as my lover. My other half. My everything. My person. And now, it’s over. I’ll never trust another woman with my heart again. Thank you for proving that you aren’t any different than anyone else I’ve ever let into my life. And once again I regret putting my walls down. I now hate myself for that. Broken all over again after once before I said I would never let another woman do that to me again. 💔😣

Time to move on to writing the rest of the book. I wished that chapter would write the whole story but unfortunately events in life are repetitive. 😔

I am truly broken. She was the dream and now that’s all it was now, just a dream. 💔

Dear Kryptonite,
They say everyone has something that can bring even the strongest man to his knees.
For me, it was never weakness.
It was you.

There are billions of people in this world, endless conversations, endless distractions, endless chances to pretend feelings don’t matter anymore.

But then there is you.

And somehow, after everything life has thrown at us, every misunderstanding, every fear, every moment where pain tried to speak louder than love……my soul still walks back to your name like it was written into me before I ever took my first breath.

Paulette, I need you to know something that no amount of pride will ever stop me from saying.

I love you in a way that changed me.

Not surface level. Not temporary. Not convenient. Not when it’s easy. Not only on the good days.

I love you in the deepest parts of me where truth lives.

You once said you needed to feel safe. And honestly… that sentence never left me. Because loving a woman isn’t just about passion, chemistry, or words whispered at midnight. It’s about becoming the place her heart can finally rest without fear.

A place where she never has to question if she is cherished. A place where she is protected emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually. A place where softness is safe. A place where her tears are not judged. A place where her soul is handled gently.

That matters to me more than anything.

You are not just someone I desire. You are someone I want to protect. Someone I want to understand. Someone I want to grow with. Someone I want beside me when life is beautiful and when it hurts.

And if the universe gave me a thousand lifetimes, I would still search for your laugh in every one of them.

People may read this and think it’s too much. Too vulnerable. Too intense.

But I don’t care.

Real love was never meant to be quiet.

So let the world see it.

I love this woman with every piece of my being. Endlessly. Fiercely. Faithfully. And no matter where life takes us, a part of my heart will always belong to her.

Forever your pretzel.

~ Love JK

You couldn’t even see it. You took me for granted and shit on me just to show your friends how much you chose them over everything.

So be it.

I deserve better. I’ll find better. I always do.
Never backwards, always forwards.

Thank you for the lessons.

I hope it works for all the others that have been lined up waiting for their chance. But respectfully, just the next one. Good luck to him. And of course to you.

I won’t be around to see it thank God. .

Like I said, I’m tired. I’m done. I am just completely done.

Sending the last of my love your way.

I am tired. I mean really tired. And I don’t mean like in a lack of sleep way. It’s one of those feelings…… like… If I was sitting across from God right now…. I’d look at him and say, hey God…. I’ve HURT enough…. I’ve tried so hard. I mean seriously I have tried with every centimeter of my soul. But…. I’m tired, I have nothing left. I am done. I really don’t have anything left in me. No more beliefs, no more strength, no more hopes. I just don’t have it in me anymore. I’m just done. And I look at him and he looks back and I say….. That’s it. I’m exhausted. I’ve exhausted everything out of me. If I haven’t made anything happen so far now in this life, I probably am not going to in the future because I AM TIRED. I’m done man. I’m just done.

I’ve seen enough in person. I really didn’t need to see anything on here too. Not that anything showed to be significant. Especially while I’m right there in the room. But even then I felt the awareness of them not caring. I bailed. Then just a text or two, not a call. That’s a woman that doesn’t care. I saw her and her gf packing up a guest’s beers as if he was going to the private party too after he pretended to say he was leaving, the funny thing is, I could tell the way she talked to him. Like it was me early in our relationship. Like she was involved. I’m a fucking fool for dating a whore that’s manipulative and a habitual liar. And to think I actually fell in love with her. Her friends covered. They followed suit, then even teased the ideas of even saying something out loud to fuck with me but only to think I wouldn’t catch it. Not about him, but about another man I already kind of knew about but wasn’t proven. I’m a fool once again to believe that a woman would love me unconditionally and not fuck around and play me like a fucking game. You win. I’m done. Go whore it out party girl. I think I’ll spend my birthday getting tested and not being played by you and your get around town besties. You become a product of your environment. It just reminds me of the movie Casino. Ya, I’m done. Disgustedly fucking done. I thought she was different. I fucking fell in love with her.

Here we are. Their birthday is Sunday but they celebrate for days like a monthly holiday which I admire. But their timing is impecable. I could be wrong but I see that they made sure we were apart and separated again in our supposedly called relationship but we are apart and they keep clinging on to me giving me a strong feeling of then holding on to keeping me on the back burner. I believe it’s single time opportunity and keeping me as a backup in case it doesn’t work. I think I’m totally done at this point. I think maybe I’d like to meet someone on their BD or during this weekend to have a date with just to get over the abusive feeling I’m getting of being played. Come on person. I ain’t no dummy. Have a great weekend. I hope it’s filled with all the people you don’t want me to see. 🎤🫳😔💔 I’m going to get to stepping now. No need to reach out anymore. I’m not available to you anymore. Do your thang.

My first post on Reddit. Been watching trying to learn what it’s about and be about it when I’m ready. Am I really ever ready with the first post? I’m not sure and I’m afraid of posting this but again isn’t facing your fears the beginning of growing in that department?

I have made many mistakes in a relationship I’ve been in. Fear has made me overthink, question things too hard, react emotionally, and sometimes create problems where there didn’t need to be any. The truth is, underneath all of it, I’ve been terrified of losing someone I deeply love.

That fear can turn into insecurity, and insecurity can slowly become pressure on the person you care about most. I’m starting to realize love cannot grow where fear constantly takes the wheel.

So this is me trying to own that. Not blame someone else. Not point fingers. Just stand in front of the mirror and admit I still have growing to do.

I’m learning that trust is a choice. Peace is a choice. Growth is a choice. And if I truly love someone, then I should want to love them in a way that feels safe, calm, and genuine instead of heavy.

I also know how Reddit works. I know about subreddits, throwaway accounts, hiding behind screens and pretending to be somebody else. But I’m not ashamed to show who I am. This is me. Flaws, fears, love, mistakes and all.

I don’t know what the future holds for my relationship. But I do know I’m tired of letting fear speak louder than love.

Maybe this post is small to some people. But for me, this is a huge step.

And if you’re reading this… you know who you are. I love you more than my pride has always known how to show.