u/Pressure_Plastic

I (M22) have been thinking about making wine for 2 years now and have set my heart to it. This summer i really became adamant about doing it so i asked my grandpa what i need to know. He told me the basics and even gave me one of his damigiana (a big 54 L carboy).

So yesterday i was coming home from somewhere and found a supplier and stopped. Since it’s a seasonal item, he had the juice in stock so i got 6 gallon pails of Cabernet Sauvignon juice. While looking I also got a pail of white grape juice, so 24 gallons total

I brought them home and set them up in the kitchen for now so they can do there primary fermentation before i bring them into my cellar for secondary fermentation and aging

So my gf (F22) surprised me with a visit yesterday and saw the juice pails in the kitchen, she kind of went off on me saying i can’t he spending that type of money without first discussing it with her. she found it a red flag of irresponsibility and poor communication

I did respond saying it was my money, my bank account, my house and my desire. I didn’t do anything that put me at risk, I didn’t do anything that could cost me my car or mortgage or anything. It’s something i wanted to do.

She seemed to have cooled off today but she still believes I should’ve asked her first before throwing that type of money on something that she calls “crazy” and “useless”

So AITAH?

Some background because you need it to understand the full picture.

My grandfather has AML. He's 88, and the last few weeks have been brutal. Crashing blood counts, transfusions, appointments 3x a week. I live about 40 minutes from him and the treatment center is 30 minutes from his place but basically right by my house, so every time I take him I end up driving past my own front door twice. I only take him maybe once every two weeks given how far I am, but honestly I don't mind. I enjoy spending time with him. We speak Italian together, he tells me things, I learn a lot from him.

This week was not supposed to be my week. I said multiple times that my dad and I had plans. We're putting up a fence and had a whole contractor schedule to work around. Tuesday my grandmother calls saying nobody else can take him. The second I tell her I need to check with my dad first she snaps at me pretty rudely and said you’re not busy, you don’t do anything. Now for context my dad has always stood up them, they’re afraid of him so he's not exactly their favorite person. Especially now knowing that he knows everything that happened, they’re dreading the next get together.

I should also mention that I'm a full time college senior with no job right now, but I'm not just sitting around. I keep the house clean inside and out every day for when my parents get home from work. That apparently means nothing to them.

I bowed my head and I took him anyway, which i shouldn’t have. But my dad and I reworked the contractor schedule. I did the whole inefficient loop past my own house. His numbers actually came back good, no transfusion needed and we were done in about an hour. I figured that would at least be a relief for everyone. Nope. My grandmother was annoyed because apparently i "didn't pay my debt." Apparently when his other kids or grandkids take him they're sitting in waiting rooms for 4 to 6 hours between all the waiting and treatment time. So I rearranged my whole week, got genuinely good news about my grandfather's health, and it still wasn't enough because I didn't suffer in a waiting room long enough.

Meanwhile my cousin is home playing FIFA all day and not a single word gets said to him. When he has plans they're untouchable. When I make plans with my dad they don't matter.

On the drive home I was frustrated and I just let it out to my grandfather. But he also knew something was up and pulled it out of me. I told him it was hurtful being told I don't do anything. I also said I'm not like his other grandson who is literally always on FIFA every time I text him. Im a student, i work, i do stuff for my parents and AGAIN me and my dad had THINGS TO DO. My grandfather didn't really have a response, just said that's how it came out and grandma said it like that.

Today my grandmother barely looked at me, very soft spoken, almost like she's nervous around me. Something clearly shifted after that visit.

I don't regret being honest but part of me wonders if I put my grandfather in an uncomfortable spot given everything he's already dealing with. So AITAH?

I am looking to have a vinyl fence installed in my backyard but i’m getting differing information.

The fence company listed no permit required on the contract, but a google search shows I do need a permit, but when i look up if my town specifically requires a permit it says no. So i’m confused

Town is Franklin Square

THERE WAS A TYPO, GENETIC, NOT GENERIC, SORRY

I am M21, been on a few dates. I have a genetic disability that doesn’t effect me much anymore since i’ve outgrown a lot of the childhood effects but it’s something i have nonetheless.

The first girl i ever went on, I told her on date 3, she was accepting of it but told me in the future to tell the person on the first date so no one has there time wasted.

The second girl i went out with, she was also accepting but told me in the future to tell them after a few dates so they can “get to know me” and not form an opinion based on that.

The last girl i went out with didn’t care, appreciated the honesty, she’s still in the picture

So, what’s right?

Ive been dating my (21M) gf (22F) for 3 months now and starting to think we’re incompatible.

This mainly centers around our food likes. I’m Italian american, she was born in the US and never traveled overseas. I like a lot of italian products, such cured deli meats, a lot of seafood, i frequently make homemade pasta, I cook fresh meals every night, i’m not much of a take out person. During the summer i make a lot of roasted peppers and onions, I make my own sausages from pork shoulder, there’s a lot more i can say.

My gf on the other hand lives off the frozen isle a lot. Frozen pizzas, hot pockets, chinese, mcdonald’s, and stuff like that. She doesn’t like the cold cuts i buy, doesn’t like seafood, or onions or peppers, but she will occasionally eat meals i make but says it isn’t her type of food.

Of note, I do my parents shopping for them once a week along with mine. i’ve taken here with me the last 2 times and she critiques a lot on what i buy. She was questioning why i’m buying a certain brand of tomato paste when there’s a cheaper option, or why i’m buying a certain brand of pasta when there’s a cheaper brand, or why i got to an italian market to buy ricotta cheese when x store had x brand on sale etc. My dad prefers brand name over store, as do I, so despite the store brand probably be cheaper, I don’t buy it because I know the brand name works for me. I don’t skimp on quality, and prefer quality over price, where she focuses more on the wallet aspect, which i respect, times are tough after all. i also grew up with my grandma and did a lot of shopping with her, she never looked at prices, if she liked something she bought it, my dad does the same thing, so to me it’s just how I shop, i don’t harm my finances so 🤷‍♂️

But all this is making me wonder if we’re compatible. we have two different views and considering this i don’t know if it’ll work long term.

Thoughts please? Is it worth considering going separate ways over this? I don’t want to over react .

For a few days now, whenever I open up a mega thread (for example a game thread), the first comment i see is what i see every time i open the thread after. I have to keep sorting by another option like “best” and then sort by “new” to see comments that have been made since i last checked.

is this a known issue? i tried deleting and reinstalling reddit but that didn’t help.