u/ProBallAustralia

We spend a lot of time on this account criticising youth sports. Coaches who care too much about winning. Systems that put pressure on kids too early. Adults who forget they’re coaching children. And sometimes, the criticism is deserved.

But hear me out parents... we’ve got to look in the mirror too. We can’t complain that our kids aren’t responsible while doing everything that would’ve taught them responsibility.

We pack their basketball bag. We fill their water bottle. We remind them where their shoes are. We check what time training starts. We tell them when to get dressed. We speak to the coach when they have a problem. We rescue them when they forget something...

Then eventually we wonder: “Why can’t my kid do anything without me reminding them?” Well… when were they supposed to learn? Maybe forgetting their shoes once isn’t a disaster. Perhaps turning up without their water bottle once teaches more than 100 reminders. Or asking their coach a question themselves feels uncomfortable...

Good. That’s part of growing up. Obviously, this depends on age. A 6-year-old needs more help than a 14-year-old. But the goal should slowly change. From “I’ll do it for you” to “I’ll help you do it” to eventually… “you’ve got this.”

Basketball gives kids hundreds of tiny opportunities to practise responsibility without the consequences being particularly serious. Packing a bag. Knowing the schedule. Speaking to an adult. Remembering equipment. Being ready on time. Handling a mistake. They’re small things. But that’s exactly why they’re such good practice.

We talk constantly about developing better basketball players. Sometimes developing the person means allowing the player to struggle with something we could’ve fixed for them in five seconds. Parents, where’s the line for you? At what age should kids start being responsible for their own sports stuff?

We spend a lot of time on this account criticising youth sports. Coaches who care too much about winning. Systems that put pressure on kids too early. Adults who forget they’re coaching children. And sometimes, the criticism is deserved.

But hear me out parents... we’ve got to look in the mirror too. We can’t complain that our kids aren’t responsible while doing everything that would’ve taught them responsibility.

We pack their basketball bag. We fill their water bottle. We remind them where their shoes are. We check what time training starts. We tell them when to get dressed. We speak to the coach when they have a problem. We rescue them when they forget something...

Then eventually we wonder: “Why can’t my kid do anything without me reminding them?” Well… when were they supposed to learn? Maybe forgetting their shoes once isn’t a disaster. Perhaps turning up without their water bottle once teaches more than 100 reminders. Or asking their coach a question themselves feels uncomfortable...

Good. That’s part of growing up. Obviously, this depends on age. A 6-year-old needs more help than a 14-year-old. But the goal should slowly change. From “I’ll do it for you” to “I’ll help you do it” to eventually… “you’ve got this.”

Basketball gives kids hundreds of tiny opportunities to practise responsibility without the consequences being particularly serious. Packing a bag. Knowing the schedule. Speaking to an adult. Remembering equipment. Being ready on time. Handling a mistake. They’re small things. But that’s exactly why they’re such good practice.

We talk constantly about developing better basketball players. Sometimes developing the person means allowing the player to struggle with something we could’ve fixed for them in five seconds. Parents, where’s the line for you? At what age should kids start being responsible for their own sports stuff?

We spend a lot of time on this account criticising youth sports. Coaches who care too much about winning. Systems that put pressure on kids too early. Adults who forget they’re coaching children. And sometimes, the criticism is deserved.

But hear me out parents... we’ve got to look in the mirror too. We can’t complain that our kids aren’t responsible while doing everything that would’ve taught them responsibility.

We pack their basketball bag. We fill their water bottle. We remind them where their shoes are. We check what time training starts. We tell them when to get dressed. We speak to the coach when they have a problem. We rescue them when they forget something...

Then eventually we wonder: “Why can’t my kid do anything without me reminding them?” Well… when were they supposed to learn? Maybe forgetting their shoes once isn’t a disaster. Perhaps turning up without their water bottle once teaches more than 100 reminders. Or asking their coach a question themselves feels uncomfortable...

Good. That’s part of growing up. Obviously, this depends on age. A 6-year-old needs more help than a 14-year-old. But the goal should slowly change. From “I’ll do it for you” to “I’ll help you do it” to eventually… “you’ve got this.”

Basketball gives kids hundreds of tiny opportunities to practise responsibility without the consequences being particularly serious. Packing a bag. Knowing the schedule. Speaking to an adult. Remembering equipment. Being ready on time. Handling a mistake. They’re small things. But that’s exactly why they’re such good practice.

We talk constantly about developing better basketball players. Sometimes developing the person means allowing the player to struggle with something we could’ve fixed for them in five seconds. Parents, where’s the line for you? At what age should kids start being responsible for their own sports stuff?

We spend a lot of time on this account criticising youth sports. Coaches who care too much about winning. Systems that put pressure on kids too early. Adults who forget they’re coaching children. And sometimes, the criticism is deserved.

But hear me out parents... we’ve got to look in the mirror too. We can’t complain that our kids aren’t responsible while doing everything that would’ve taught them responsibility.

We pack their basketball bag. We fill their water bottle. We remind them where their shoes are. We check what time training starts. We tell them when to get dressed. We speak to the coach when they have a problem. We rescue them when they forget something...

Then eventually we wonder: “Why can’t my kid do anything without me reminding them?” Well… when were they supposed to learn? Maybe forgetting their shoes once isn’t a disaster. Perhaps turning up without their water bottle once teaches more than 100 reminders. Or asking their coach a question themselves feels uncomfortable...

Good. That’s part of growing up. Obviously, this depends on age. A 6-year-old needs more help than a 14-year-old. But the goal should slowly change. From “I’ll do it for you” to “I’ll help you do it” to eventually… “you’ve got this.”

Basketball gives kids hundreds of tiny opportunities to practise responsibility without the consequences being particularly serious. Packing a bag. Knowing the schedule. Speaking to an adult. Remembering equipment. Being ready on time. Handling a mistake. They’re small things. But that’s exactly why they’re such good practice.

We talk constantly about developing better basketball players. Sometimes developing the person means allowing the player to struggle with something we could’ve fixed for them in five seconds. Parents, where’s the line for you? At what age should kids start being responsible for their own sports stuff?

I’ve been coaching kids for my whole life, and one thing has been bothering me. It feels like youth sport has slowly become an audition...

Parents talk about making representative teams. Coaches get judged by wins. Kids worry about playing time. Everyone’s watching the scoreboard.

Sometimes I wonder if we’ve forgotten what those years are actually for.

The best lesson I ever saw a kid learn wasn’t from winning a championship, but after missing the game winning shot. He cried for five minutes. His teammates picked him up. He came back to training two days later. By the end of the season he wasn’t the best player. But he wasn’t scared to fail anymore. That feels like a much bigger win than the score from that game. Right?

Most adults can’t even handle criticism at work without taking it personally, while kids get a chance to practise disappointment, responsibility, teamwork and recovery every single week. EVERY SINGLE WEEK.

If you ask me, that's a pretty valuable classroom.

Curious where everyone stands on this.

I’ve been coaching kids for my whole life, and one thing has been bothering me. It feels like youth sport has slowly become an audition...

Parents talk about making representative teams. Coaches get judged by wins. Kids worry about playing time. Everyone’s watching the scoreboard.

Sometimes I wonder if we’ve forgotten what those years are actually for.

The best lesson I ever saw a kid learn wasn’t from winning a championship, but after missing the game winning shot. He cried for five minutes. His teammates picked him up. He came back to training two days later. By the end of the season he wasn’t the best player. But he wasn’t scared to fail anymore. That feels like a much bigger win than the score from that game. Right?

Most adults can’t even handle criticism at work without taking it personally, while kids get a chance to practise disappointment, responsibility, teamwork and recovery every single week. EVERY SINGLE WEEK.

If you ask me, that's a pretty valuable classroom.

Curious where everyone stands on this.

I’ve been coaching kids for my whole life, and one thing has been bothering me. It feels like youth sport has slowly become an audition...

Parents talk about making representative teams. Coaches get judged by wins. Kids worry about playing time. Everyone’s watching the scoreboard.

Sometimes I wonder if we’ve forgotten what those years are actually for.

The best lesson I ever saw a kid learn wasn’t from winning a championship, but after missing the game winning shot. He cried for five minutes. His teammates picked him up. He came back to training two days later. By the end of the season he wasn’t the best player. But he wasn’t scared to fail anymore. That feels like a much bigger win than the score from that game. Right?

Most adults can’t even handle criticism at work without taking it personally, while kids get a chance to practise disappointment, responsibility, teamwork and recovery every single week. EVERY SINGLE WEEK.

If you ask me, that's a pretty valuable classroom.

Curious where everyone stands on this.

I’ve been coaching kids for my whole life, and one thing has been bothering me. It feels like youth sport has slowly become an audition...

Parents talk about making representative teams. Coaches get judged by wins. Kids worry about playing time. Everyone’s watching the scoreboard.

Sometimes I wonder if we’ve forgotten what those years are actually for.

The best lesson I ever saw a kid learn wasn’t from winning a championship, but after missing the game winning shot. He cried for five minutes. His teammates picked him up. He came back to training two days later. By the end of the season he wasn’t the best player. But he wasn’t scared to fail anymore. That feels like a much bigger win than the score from that game. Right?

Most adults can’t even handle criticism at work without taking it personally, while kids get a chance to practise disappointment, responsibility, teamwork and recovery every single week. EVERY SINGLE WEEK.

If you ask me, that's a pretty valuable classroom.

Curious where everyone stands on this.

I’ve been coaching kids for my whole life, and one thing has been bothering me. It feels like youth sport has slowly become an audition...

Parents talk about making representative teams. Coaches get judged by wins. Kids worry about playing time. Everyone’s watching the scoreboard.

Sometimes I wonder if we’ve forgotten what those years are actually for.

The best lesson I ever saw a kid learn wasn’t from winning a championship, but after missing the game winning shot. He cried for five minutes. His teammates picked him up. He came back to training two days later. By the end of the season he wasn’t the best player. But he wasn’t scared to fail anymore. That feels like a much bigger win than the score from that game. Right?

Most adults can’t even handle criticism at work without taking it personally, while kids get a chance to practise disappointment, responsibility, teamwork and recovery every single week. EVERY SINGLE WEEK.

If you ask me, that's a pretty valuable classroom.

Curious where everyone stands on this.

Something I’ve been thinking about lately… a lot of conversations around youth sport revolve around scholarships, representative teams, rankings and “making it.”

Realistically, most kids won’t become elite athletes. That’s just the numbers. But every kid is going to experience failure.

They’re going to be left out. They’re going to lose. They’re going to have teammates they don’t like. They’re going to make mistakes in front of other people. Sport gives them a place to experience all of that while the stakes are still relatively small.

I’ve watched kids who weren’t the best players become incredibly resilient adults because they learned how to keep showing up after disappointing weekends.

In hindsight, basketball probably wasn’t the most important thing they learned. It was everything around it.

Curious where other parents and coaches land on this. Have we started measuring youth sport too much by the athletes it produces, instead of the adults it helps shape?

Something I’ve been thinking about lately… a lot of conversations around youth sport revolve around scholarships, representative teams, rankings and “making it.”

Realistically, most kids won’t become elite athletes. That’s just the numbers. But every kid is going to experience failure.

They’re going to be left out. They’re going to lose. They’re going to have teammates they don’t like. They’re going to make mistakes in front of other people. Sport gives them a place to experience all of that while the stakes are still relatively small.

I’ve watched kids who weren’t the best players become incredibly resilient adults because they learned how to keep showing up after disappointing weekends.

In hindsight, basketball probably wasn’t the most important thing they learned. It was everything around it.

Curious where other parents and coaches land on this. Have we started measuring youth sport too much by the athletes it produces, instead of the adults it helps shape?

Something I’ve been thinking about lately… a lot of conversations around youth sport revolve around scholarships, representative teams, rankings and “making it.”

Realistically, most kids won’t become elite athletes. That’s just the numbers. But every kid is going to experience failure.

They’re going to be left out. They’re going to lose. They’re going to have teammates they don’t like. They’re going to make mistakes in front of other people. Sport gives them a place to experience all of that while the stakes are still relatively small.

I’ve watched kids who weren’t the best players become incredibly resilient adults because they learned how to keep showing up after disappointing weekends.

In hindsight, basketball probably wasn’t the most important thing they learned. It was everything around it.

Curious where other parents and coaches land on this. Have we started measuring youth sport too much by the athletes it produces, instead of the adults it helps shape?

One thing I’ve started noticing around youth basketball… the car ride to the game seems to matter more than people think.

You can usually tell which kids arrived feeling calm and which ones arrived carrying someone else’s stress. It’s rarely anything dramatic. Just little things...

“We’re late.” “Don’t forget what coach said.” “You need to play well today.”

By the time they step onto the court, they’ve already spent 20 minutes thinking about everything that could go wrong.

Then you see other kids who walk in relaxed. Same sport. Same competition. Different energy.

I’m not saying parents cause nerves. Kids get nervous anyway. I just wonder how much of a young athlete’s mindset is shaped before they even touch a basketball.

Coaches, parents, former players… have you noticed this too, or am I reading too much into it?

One thing I’ve started noticing around youth basketball… the car ride to the game seems to matter more than people think.

You can usually tell which kids arrived feeling calm and which ones arrived carrying someone else’s stress. It’s rarely anything dramatic. Just little things...

“We’re late.” “Don’t forget what coach said.” “You need to play well today.”

By the time they step onto the court, they’ve already spent 20 minutes thinking about everything that could go wrong.

Then you see other kids who walk in relaxed. Same sport. Same competition. Different energy.

I’m not saying parents cause nerves. Kids get nervous anyway. I just wonder how much of a young athlete’s mindset is shaped before they even touch a basketball.

Coaches, parents, former players… have you noticed this too, or am I reading too much into it?

One thing I’ve started noticing around youth basketball… the car ride to the game seems to matter more than people think.

You can usually tell which kids arrived feeling calm and which ones arrived carrying someone else’s stress. It’s rarely anything dramatic. Just little things...

“We’re late.” “Don’t forget what coach said.” “You need to play well today.”

By the time they step onto the court, they’ve already spent 20 minutes thinking about everything that could go wrong.

Then you see other kids who walk in relaxed. Same sport. Same competition. Different energy.

I’m not saying parents cause nerves. Kids get nervous anyway. I just wonder how much of a young athlete’s mindset is shaped before they even touch a basketball.

Coaches, parents, former players… have you noticed this too, or am I reading too much into it?

One thing I’ve started noticing around youth basketball… the car ride to the game seems to matter more than people think.

You can usually tell which kids arrived feeling calm and which ones arrived carrying someone else’s stress. It’s rarely anything dramatic. Just little things...

“We’re late.” “Don’t forget what coach said.” “You need to play well today.”

By the time they step onto the court, they’ve already spent 20 minutes thinking about everything that could go wrong.

Then you see other kids who walk in relaxed. Same sport. Same competition. Different energy.

I’m not saying parents cause nerves. Kids get nervous anyway. I just wonder how much of a young athlete’s mindset is shaped before they even touch a basketball.

Coaches, parents, former players… have you noticed this too, or am I reading too much into it?

I’ve coached basketball for a while now, and something still surprises me. Parents spend thousands on team fees, private skills sessions, shooting coaches and extra games. But almost nobody ever asks, “Who’s teaching my kid how to actually run?”

We assume kids naturally learn to sprint, decelerate, change direction and land safely. Most don’t. They just get older and stronger while repeating the same movement patterns.

I’ve seen kids who suddenly looked “more athletic” after a few weeks of working on sprint mechanics and deceleration. Not because they got fitter. Not because they lifted weights. They just started moving differently.

It makes me wonder if youth sports have this backwards. We spend years teaching sport-specific skills. Very little time teaching the movement those skills are built on.

I'm wondering what other coaches have seen...

Is movement quality something that’s overlooked, or am I paying attention to the wrong thing?

I’ve coached basketball for a while now, and something still surprises me. Parents spend thousands on team fees, private skills sessions, shooting coaches and extra games. But almost nobody ever asks, “Who’s teaching my kid how to actually run?”

We assume kids naturally learn to sprint, decelerate, change direction and land safely. Most don’t. They just get older and stronger while repeating the same movement patterns.

I’ve seen kids who suddenly looked “more athletic” after a few weeks of working on sprint mechanics and deceleration. Not because they got fitter. Not because they lifted weights. They just started moving differently.

It makes me wonder if youth sports have this backwards. We spend years teaching sport-specific skills. Very little time teaching the movement those skills are built on.

I'm wondering what other coaches have seen...

Is movement quality something that’s overlooked, or am I paying attention to the wrong thing?

I’ve coached basketball for a while now, and something still surprises me. Parents spend thousands on team fees, private skills sessions, shooting coaches and extra games. But almost nobody ever asks, “Who’s teaching my kid how to actually run?”

We assume kids naturally learn to sprint, decelerate, change direction and land safely. Most don’t. They just get older and stronger while repeating the same movement patterns.

I’ve seen kids who suddenly looked “more athletic” after a few weeks of working on sprint mechanics and deceleration. Not because they got fitter. Not because they lifted weights. They just started moving differently.

It makes me wonder if youth sports have this backwards. We spend years teaching sport-specific skills. Very little time teaching the movement those skills are built on.

I'm wondering what other coaches have seen...

Is movement quality something that’s overlooked, or am I paying attention to the wrong thing?

Every year around representative trial season, I hear parents talking about shooting percentages, handles and athleticism. Those things obviously matter. But after coaching for years, I think a lot of people miss what coaches actually remember.

It’s usually not the highlight play. It’s the habits. The kid who sprints between every drill. The player who talks on defence without being asked. The athlete who gets scored on, nods, and gets straight into the next possession instead of looking frustrated. The player who applies coaching feedback the very next rep. Those are the things that make coaches think: “I’d love to coach this kid for the next 12 months.”

I’ve seen players make representative teams without being the most talented because they were incredibly coachable. I’ve also seen talented players miss out because their body language, effort or attitude raised too many questions.

Curious if other coaches have seen the same thing.

What’s one “small” habit that immediately makes a player stand out to you during a representative trial?