u/Profile-Complex

I often struggle to understand what makes people keep going in life.

Ever since I lost my father at 5, life has mostly felt like survival. My mother didn’t have a stable job, so from a young age, my existence, education, future, everything felt like a burden I had to somehow carry myself. Even now, after getting through education and starting work, life still feels fragile. Like if I stop working or mess up badly, there’s no real backup waiting for me.

What fascinates me is how other people keep going so casually. Even successful people who already have money, family, stability, they still keep working, building things, living. Meanwhile for me, life often feels heavy, like something I constantly have to protect from collapsing.

I guess my question is: what makes you not give up? What makes all the stress, responsibility, and suffering feel worth carrying?

I[25] often struggle to understand what makes people keep going in life.

Ever since I lost my father at 5, life has mostly felt like survival. My mother didn’t have a stable job, so from a young age, my existence, education, future, everything felt like a burden I had to somehow carry myself. Even now, after getting through education and starting work, life still feels fragile. Like if I stop working or mess up badly, there’s no real backup waiting for me.

What fascinates me is how other people keep going so casually. Even successful people who already have money, family, stability, they still keep working, building things, living. Meanwhile for me, life often feels heavy, like something I constantly have to protect from collapsing.

I guess my question is: what makes you not give up? What makes all the stress, responsibility, and suffering feel worth carrying?

I[25] often struggle to understand what makes people keep going in life.

Ever since I lost my father at 5, life has mostly felt like survival. My mother didn’t have a stable job, so from a young age, my existence, education, future, everything felt like a burden I had to somehow carry myself. Even now, after getting through education and starting work, life still feels fragile. Like if I stop working or mess up badly, there’s no real backup waiting for me.

What fascinates me is how other people keep going so casually. Even successful people who already have money, family, stability, they still keep working, building things, living. Meanwhile for me, life often feels heavy, like something I constantly have to protect from collapsing.

I guess my question is: what makes you not give up? What makes all the stress, responsibility, and suffering feel worth carrying?

I[25] often struggle to understand what makes people keep going in life.

Ever since I lost my father at 5, life has mostly felt like survival. My mother didn’t have a stable job, so from a young age, my existence, education, future, everything felt like a burden I had to somehow carry myself. Even now, after getting through education and starting work, life still feels fragile. Like if I stop working or mess up badly, there’s no real backup waiting for me.

What fascinates me is how other people keep going so casually. Even successful people who already have money, family, stability, they still keep working, building things, living. Meanwhile for me, life often feels heavy, like something I constantly have to protect from collapsing.

I guess my question is: what makes you not give up? What makes all the stress, responsibility, and suffering feel worth carrying?

It’s 7:30 in the morning, and I’m craving again to open Instagram in the browser.

I don’t even have the app anymore.

Just checking… in case she has texted something.

And before that, I want to say some things to myself.

Look. You’re lonely.

Understand that.

You need someone.

You thought this could become something.

But it’s not.

At least right now, it wasn’t going anywhere.

And it wasn’t going according to your standards.

Your standards are simple:

You need someone who actively engages with you.

Someone who reasonably texts back.

Someone who also initiates conversations.

Someone who also wants to talk.

There is no worth in a dynamic where you are the only one trying.

You are the only one initiating.

The only one texting.

Even double texting sometimes.

You are the only one flirting.

The only one wanting to go on a date.

The only one constantly checking.

The only one obsessed with impressing that person.

There is no worth in living inside a dynamic like that.

I know for a moment it can feel logical.

Like, “Yeah, I can do that because I want this so f**king hard.”

“I don’t care what I have to go through.”

“I don’t care what actions I take.”

“I don’t care if I take extra effort.”

But look, this is not healthy for you.

Because that also means that person could leave you anytime.

That person could suddenly give zero f**ks about you the moment they find someone they actually want.

The moment they find the person they want to give the same effort to, they’ll vanish from your life.

And then what hurts even more is this:

Even after all the effort you put in, they still chose someone else over you.

That would hurt you even more.

And checking the texts won’t change anything.

Believe me, it won’t change anything.

It never changed anything.

It’s been a month.

She texted maybe fifteen times in that month.

And every single text made you happy.

And you already know it has gone nowhere.

It’s just tiny moments of happiness because she still remembers you a little.

That’s it.

Nothing else.

And if you really want something, then at least have faith in that first date.

You gave her a good time.

You made her feel seen.

You made her open up about herself.

You opened up hard too.

You were already ready to tell her every trauma of your life.

And I’m sure she must have felt something from that.

Like, “This guy has really been through things.”

Maybe she felt less alone around you.

I know right now you feel mentally numb.

Emotionally devastated.

Physically tired.

You’ve been overloaded with emotions and thoughts.

But man… come on.

It’s not worth it.

Two months back you wanted life to hit you hard because you felt dead inside.

You felt lazy.

You felt passionless.

Like you were just living inside a shitty job with no meaning.

Well, take this.

Now you feel alive.

This is also what being alive feels like sometimes:

Feeling all these enormous emotions at once.

And sometimes, for a very small moment, you suddenly feel good again.

You come to the terrace.

You look at the sky.

You look at the clouds.

And for one tiny second, life feels beautiful.

The chirping birds.

The motorcycle sounds.

The sunlight behind the clouds.

The clouds shining like some God is standing behind them, ready to speak to the world.

“Hey people, wake up. I’m here. Everything is going to be fine.”

And even atheists feel blessed for a moment

Even after a lifetime of feeling abandoned by life.

You look at the trees moving slowly in the wind like they’re just happy to exist.

You look at the air moving gently around you.

And everything feels like it’s trying to tell you:

Everything will be alright.

People wake up.

Go to work.

Start their day again.

As if they forgot every depression, every drama, every pain from last night.

Because morning came again.

Because the sun came again.

And maybe that’s enough.

Maybe that’s why humans look at sunlight like prayer sometimes.

Yeah, scientists will say it’s just the sun.

But for one second, you want to believe it’s something more.

Then the clouds move away.

And it’s just the same old regular sun again.

The same sun we see every day.

And somehow it still feels new every time.

But yeah, you, yeah you, whatever your name. listen again.

I hope the urge to check the text is gone.

Because nothing is going to come from it.

And look, it’s not like you’ll never open Instagram again.

You will.

But you don’t have to be so emotionally available that the first thing you do in the morning is search for a text from her.

She’s not your girlfriend.

She’s not someone who consistently shows up for you.

She’s someone who has kept you at a distance on purpose.

Remember that.

Have some self-respect.

Have some value for yourself.

You deserve better.

Look at where you’ve come from.

You are not normal.

This is not a joke.

You are capable of surviving difficult things because you already have.

You crave meaningful connection because of that.

You understand how beautiful life could become if you found someone who truly understood your pain and shared it with you.

But maybe she’s not that person.

Maybe she was only there for a moment.

Maybe she just needed someone to listen.

And that’s okay.

But don’t get attached this early.

Your heart is not meant for tiny half-connections.

Your heart wants something bigger.

Bigger effort.

Bigger understanding.

Bigger love.

You deserve someone better to attach yourself to.

You deserve someone better to show your love to.

You deserve someone better to become hopeful about.

You deserve someone who makes you want to become more.

Someone who makes you feel:

“I want to become the best version of myself.”

The best artist.

The best partner.

The best human being I can become.

Because you are ready to give everything.

You are ready to put enormous effort into love.

You’ve already shown that before.

And I’m sure you’ll do it again someday.

But this person…

This person does not deserve all that effort from you.

I’m trying to understand a dating dynamic and whether I’m overthinking it.

I matched with a girl on Hinge around a month ago. We met once, spent 3+ hours together, the date felt good, she mentioned meeting again, and we almost planned another date too. She still likes my stories sometimes.

But the texting has been extremely inconsistent. Sometimes she replies warmly/playfully, but often after days. We can go from a nice exchange to suddenly no reply for 3-7 days, then she comes back normally again.

What confuses me is:

- if someone isn’t that interested, why keep orbiting/responding occasionally?

- and if someone IS interested, why is there still no real momentum toward meeting again after more than a month?

She recently mentioned she’s free now, so I feel like if even now a second date still doesn’t naturally happen, maybe that itself is my answer.

At that point I’m honestly considering unmatching/blocking and moving on, not out of revenge, but because this dynamic feels emotionally unhealthy for me.

Would genuinely like women’s perspective:

Is this normal modern dating behavior, or am I taking it too personally because I value consistency/directness more?

I’m[M] trying to understand a dating dynamic and whether I’m overthinking it.

I matched with a girl on Hinge around a month ago. We met once, spent 3+ hours together, the date felt good, she mentioned meeting again, and we almost planned another date too. She still likes my stories sometimes.

But the texting has been extremely inconsistent. Sometimes she replies warmly/playfully, but often after days. We can go from a nice exchange to suddenly no reply for 3-7 days, then she comes back normally again.

What confuses me is:

- if someone isn’t that interested, why keep orbiting/responding occasionally?

- and if someone IS interested, why is there still no real momentum toward meeting again after more than a month?

She recently mentioned she’s free now, so I feel like if even now a second date still doesn’t naturally happen, maybe that itself is my answer.

At that point I’m honestly considering unmatching/blocking and moving on, not out of revenge, but because this dynamic feels emotionally unhealthy for me.

Would genuinely like women’s perspective:

Is this normal modern dating behavior, or am I taking it too personally because I value consistency/directness more?

for the show time today at 9:45 AM

I'm 25M