This has never occurred to me, so I figured the best way to get insight is to just ask. I was basically curious as to how your obsessive tendencies manifest for those of you/us that are queer. (I'm really struggling with wording things properly when it comes to this topic, so pls bear with me, chat. 🙏)

▪︎Basically, if both you and your partner/crush are homosexual, would you get jealous of their friends of the same sex?

Personally, I've always felt kinda uh- Well, not sure how to put it, but for context, I am female and afab (=assigned female at birth) and have been questioning my sexuality (lowkey in denial about being bi and not ready to come to terms with this side of me yet, tho). That was a side note.

My point is, we ALL feel this sort of connection/familiarity/comfort with people of the same gender due to subconsciously knowing that we have had similar experiences, similar struggles, etc. So even if (I'm assuming this goes for everyone?) I'm attracted to the same gender at times, I'm not "weird" about it e.g. in changing rooms, restrooms, etc. My default "attitude" is "we're the same"/indifference, if that makes any sense? "There's a time and place for everything."

▪︎But where do you draw the line between "familiarity/comfort/understanding" and jealously, obsessiveness, etc.? Would you get jealous of your same-sex partner if seeing them interact with the same sex? Do you have any boundaries in place?

▪︎For those of you that are homosexual, would you prefer your partner to have friends of the same or the opposite sex? Or are you indifferent to that?

▪︎How about the bi people here?

Personally, if I were dating a straight guy, I'd 100% be uncomfortable with him having female friends. And I'm not comfortable having guy friends either because that'd be hypocritical af of me. (And I'll be too busy obsessing over my partner to begin with.) However, I do have female friends and I wouldn't mind him having male friends, even if he were bi as long as neither of us are too touchy with them, "weird about it", flirty or share personal details about our lives/relationships with them.

I'm not exactly sure how I'd feel about a hypothetical female partner. I would be understanding and okay with same-sex friendships but (regardless of her sexuality), I still don't think I'd be okay with her having guy friends anyway.

▪︎How about the straight people that might be reading this? Would you be comfortable dating somebody who's bi? What boundaries/preferences would you have in that case?

Would love to hear about y'all's experiences!🤍

Hey, y'all! Long story short, I'm looking for very clingy, nerdy, relatable, like-minded LONG-TERM friends!

I've always struggled finding introverted people I share interests/values with, which is how I ended up here rn to begin with.

ABOUT ME:

I'm 20 y.o., female, based in Europe, I study CS.

I originally made this account to lurk in the yandere/obsessive love subreddits, just letting you know before you jump to conclusions. This also means that I'm very clingy in general.

I'm not looking for something fleeting or superficial. I don't want random people I'll hop on a game with once or twice a month and call it a day or to just have npc-like conversations whenever they're bored or their fav people ain't answering.

I think of friendship (and bonds in general) as something sacred. I'd want us both to be comfortable enough to share everything, talk openly about mental health, insecurities, fears, etc.

(To clarify, I think I do embody all the traits I'm looking for and am about to list. Wanted to point it out, because if I hadn't, it'd seem like I've barely mentioned anything about myself.)

BENEFITS OF HAVING ME AS A FRIEND:

▪︎I'll care about you, ask about your day, would love to hear you yap. Willing to provide emotional support and offer advice depending on your needs.

▪︎Quick responses, multiple updates throughout the day, etc. Unless there's an emergency or smth, but you'll be informed.

▪︎Willing to scold you to lock in or force you to take breaks if necessary. Whichever one applies.

▪︎I absolutely love yappers so if you ever wanna talk about something (even if it's not a hobby of mine or smth I'm knowledgeable about) but have nobody to talk to or wanna vent, always find me. I'd love to hear everything you have to say.

▪︎If you ever get lonely and I'm asleep/busy, you can absolutely spam me and I'll read everything when I wake up/am back. (Would probably make my day waking up to that, ngl.🤭)

▪︎I'd love to "involve myself" in all aspects of your life. By that I mean, I'd love to know what you're up to, what you've been busy with, what goals you're working towards, etc. Not in a controlling "You do what I say" way. It's more about supporting you w/ everything (if that makes any sense?).

WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR:

▪︎PERSONALITY TRAITS I admire/would prefer: being straightforward, self-awareness, discipline, honesty, being decisive, being objective/realistic about things, being understanding/patient/caring, pessimism perhaps? Being clingy/needy>>>>>.

▪︎I'm looking for somebody who is into self-improvement, values education, hates doing nothing and bedrotting all day and wants to be "successful" depending on how you define success. If your self-worth is determined by numbers, grades, achievements and/or is measured by productivity, then this is about you!!

▪︎If you hate "normal" things that the majority of people would enjoy (such as clubs, socializing, huge crowds, concerts, going out, drinking, sports, etc.), then again, I'm talking about you.🫵

▪︎Bonus points if you're genz (or genz-coded) and are familiar with brain-rotted humor.

▪︎Bonus points if you like yapping about your own interests but don't talk in public or are oftentimes perceived as mean.

▪︎Bonus points if you have a history of mental health or any condition, etc. Yk what they say. It builds character.💀💀 Wouldn't be happy you had to go through any of that, ofc. The reason I'm mentioning that is because I think we'd relate to each other.

▪︎If you are open-minded, are not hostile and judgmental towards different perspectives and like questioning things (including your own self), I'll probably adore you.

▪︎No sexism, no racism, no homophobia will be tolerated to any extent. No discrimination in any form, basically.

▪︎No age/ethnicity/race/religious requirements ofc! ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ But imma be completely honest, I'm not comfortable being friends w/ guys. ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Current HOBBIES & INTERESTS include:

▪︎Computer science (and similar disciplines), kpop, language learning, nerdy things (anything stem related, for example), anime, mythology, astronomy (=PLANETS- NOT ZODIACS, DON'T CONFUSE THE TOO!), etc.

▪︎Things I wanna get into/learn more about (and might not know much about or might not actively be doing):

TCGs, chess, spirituality/spiritual belief systems/various religions, the occult/mysticism, conspiracies, secret societies and similar communities, emo/rock bands, etc.

In all honesty, I'm been struggling with productivity and consistency lately so I haven't been doing anything about those hobbies/interests but I'm def gonna lock in fr fr.

▪︎COMMUNICATION:

I HIGHLY prefer texting. I truly don't enjoy calls and they're kinda inconvenient if I'm not alone at home or if we're not close enough yet. I'd honestly rather get to know you first. Letting you know cause it seems to be a dealbreaker for many people.

Also, I do get attached easily, but also don't necessarily trust easily. I believe trust is earned, not given. So if I don't necessarily share oddly personal and identifying info, this does not mean I don't take our bond seriously yet.

I'm aware you have a life, schedule and responsibilities to tend to so i don't expect us to be both glued to our phones all the time, it's not realistic and I wouldn't be offended or jump to conclusions. We can always find ways to catch up later, no doubt.

If you feel like we could get along, please don't hesitate to reach out! I'd love to get to know you.🤍

Hey, y'all! Long story short, I'm looking for very clingy, nerdy, relatable, like-minded LONG-TERM friends!

I've always struggled finding introverted people I share interests/values with, which is how I ended up here rn to begin with.

ABOUT ME:

I'm 20 y.o., female, based in Europe, I study CS.

I originally made this account to lurk in the yandere/obsessive love subreddits (NOT f****h content, it's for those that genuinely identify that way), just letting you know before you jump to conclusions. This also means that I'm very clingy in general (w/ friends too, not only when it comes to love).

I'm not looking for something fleeting or superficial. I don't want random people I'll hop on a game with once or twice a month and call it a day or to just have npc-like conversations whenever they're bored or their fav people ain't answering.

I think of friendship (and bonds in general) as something sacred. I'd want us both to be comfortable enough to share everything, talk openly about mental health, insecurities, fears, etc.

(To clarify, I think I do embody all the traits I'm looking for and am about to list. Wanted to point it out, because if I hadn't, it'd seem like I've barely mentioned anything about myself.)

BENEFITS OF HAVING ME AS A FRIEND:

▪︎I'll care about you, ask about your day, would love to hear you yap. Willing to provide emotional support and offer advice depending on your needs.

▪︎Quick responses, multiple updates throughout the day, etc. Unless there's an emergency or smth, but you'll be informed.

▪︎Willing to scold you to lock in or force you to take breaks if necessary. Whichever one applies.

▪︎I absolutely love yappers so if you ever wanna talk about something (even if it's not a hobby of mine or smth I'm knowledgeable about) but have nobody to talk to or wanna vent, always find me. I'd love to hear everything you have to say.

▪︎If you ever get lonely and I'm asleep/busy, you can absolutely spam me and I'll read everything when I wake up/am back. (Would probably make my day waking up to that, ngl.🤭)

▪︎I'd love to "involve myself" in all aspects of your life. By that I mean, I'd love to know what you're up to, what you've been busy with, what goals you're working towards, etc. Not in a controlling "You do what I say" way. It's more about supporting you w/ everything (if that makes any sense?).

WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR:

▪︎PERSONALITY TRAITS I admire/would prefer: being straightforward, self-awareness, discipline, honesty, being decisive, being objective/realistic about things, being understanding/patient/caring, pessimism perhaps? Being clingy/needy>>>>>.

▪︎I'm looking for somebody who is into self-improvement, values education, hates doing nothing and bedrotting all day and wants to be "successful" depending on how you define success. If your self-worth is determined by numbers, grades, achievements and/or is measured by productivity, then this is about you!!

▪︎If you hate "normal" things that the majority of people would enjoy (such as clubs, socializing, huge crowds, concerts, going out, drinking, sports, etc.), then again, I'm talking about you.🫵

▪︎Bonus points if you're genz (or genz-coded) and are familiar with brain-rotted humor.

▪︎Bonus points if you like yapping about your own interests but don't talk in public or are oftentimes perceived as mean.

▪︎Bonus points if you have a history of mental health or any condition, etc. Yk what they say. It builds character.💀💀 Wouldn't be happy you had to go through any of that, ofc. The reason I'm mentioning that is because I think we'd relate to each other.

▪︎If you are open-minded, are not hostile and judgmental towards different perspectives and like questioning things (including your own self), I'll probably adore you.

▪︎Would love it if you were somewhat spiritual. I think I definitely am.

▪︎No sexism, no racism, no homophobia will be tolerated to any extent. No discrimination in any form, basically.

▪︎No age/ethnicity/race/religious requirements ofc! ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️But imma be completely honest, I'm not comfortable with PLATONIC relationships with guys, so please don't reach out for that.⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Current HOBBIES & INTERESTS include:

▪︎Computer science (and similar disciplines), kpop, language learning, nerdy things (anything stem related, for example), anime, mythology, astronomy (=PLANETS- NOT ZODIACS, DON'T CONFUSE THE TOO!), etc.

▪︎Things I wanna get into/learn more about (and might not know much about or might not actively be doing):

TCGs, chess, spirituality/spiritual belief systems/various religions, the occult/mysticism, conspiracies, secret societies and similar communities, emo/rock bands, etc.

In all honesty, I'm been struggling with productivity and consistency lately so I haven't been doing anything about those hobbies/interests but I'm def gonna lock in fr fr.

▪︎COMMUNICATION:

I HIGHLY prefer texting. I truly don't enjoy calls and they're kinda inconvenient if I'm not alone at home or if we're not close enough yet. I'd honestly rather get to know you first. Letting you know cause it seems to be a dealbreaker for many people.

Also, I do get attached easily, but also don't necessarily trust easily. I believe trust is earned, not given. So if I don't necessarily share oddly personal and identifying info, this does not mean I don't take our bond seriously yet.

I'm aware you have a life, schedule and responsibilities to tend to so i don't expect us to be both glued to our phones all the time, it's not realistic and I wouldn't be offended or jump to conclusions. We can always find ways to catch up later, no doubt.

If you feel like we could get along, please don't hesitate to reach out! I'd love to get to know you.🤍

I'm just curious how each of us expresses yearning or how we act upon these urges, etc.

Here are some things I've heard/seen people do (or may do myself but don't wanna admit it):

▪︎Stalking following/followers. If there's an increase, I go check the list, find the new acc and open it.🥀

▪︎Stalking their reposts, liked posts, who comments on their posts and likes them, etc.

▪︎Adding/finding them on all socials/apps (even LinkedIn😋🤤), digging the internet for crumbs.

▪︎Free OSINT tools>>>>>>>

▪︎Social mapping: keeping track (or a mental note, idk) of who they interact with, who they know, how they feel about each person, etc.

▪︎If their online status is on (e.g. on Discord) (or whatever app you know they use), I'd use split screen and have the app open to see if/when/how often they come online whilst studying/working on my things [Not recommended] (Ruins your day🥀)

▪︎A lot of people find their person's family on Facebook and stalk their mothers, for example.🥀

▪︎Stalking their friends or friend group (either online or irl as an extension of them).

▪︎Befriending people close to them to get closer to your person or get more info about them.

▪︎Finding out more about their hobbies/interests and using it to your advantage to bond with them.

▪︎Location sharing. (If they consent, ofc)

▪︎Sharing accounts, passwords, etc. (For couples if they're okay with it)

▪︎Following them around/stalking from a distance irl. [Do not recommend for legal reasons]

▪︎Trying to piece their schedule together by observing them or asking their mutuals, coworkers, classmates, etc.

▪︎Writing letters about/to them or drawing them long before you guys even started talking or dating.

▪︎Keep notes (physical or in your notes app) of every bit of information they share with you directly or that you find out indirectly (about their hobbies, their date of birth, food and snacks they like).

▪︎Doing witchcraft, love spells, soul bonding spells, listening to subliminals about love/obsession, etc. [Do not recommend for spiritual reasons]

▪︎Breaking into their house/apartment. [Do not recommend for legal reasons]

Would love to hear more abour your personal experiences! (Or steal ideas.🤭)

I know that this is simply one aspect of our personalities and who we are as a person, but I was still wondering: to what extent and in what ways does being "obsessive"/a yandere (however you define those terms) affect your life?

A few personal examples:

▪︎I chose to study something that will make it easier for me to work remotely, relocate somewhat easily, allow for a more flexible schedule and/or wouldn't require much human interaction, because I'd much rather spend my time with my person and avoid anyone who isn't them. I'd also much rather be with somebody w/ a similar lifestyle. It'd just minimize the chances of either of us feeling jealous, overthinking or just simply missing your person and waiting for them to be back and yearning uncontrollably.🥀

▪︎I feel like my "obsessive" tendencies also shine through in friendships as well. Although it's embarassing to admit, I'd still feel a bit jealous if I know my best friend is way closer to somebody else, especially if they're like a unicorn-this mythical creature they keep bringing up and talk so highly of, as if they'll never have this much fun with me as they do with them. I barely have any friends, but the few I do have I'm very close to. I know they have other friends, but we'd all rather focus on the moment rather than talk about other people. I also prefer meeting/chatting one-on-one and focusing on that person instead of groups.

▪︎Over the years, I've come to "dislike" people by default and be very cynical. I may seem like a jerk at first, but that's because I always assume others care way less about me than I do about them. Throughout my whole life, I kept noticing this pattern of me assuming a simple gesture or act of kindness from somebody meant way more to me than them. People I always wanted to get closer to and thought very highly of would always think of me as just a side character or somebody they knew, maybe one of their many friends but never the closest one. I'd then question everything. What did others bring to the table that I don't? This happened when it came to love as well. "They'll CLEARLY never see you in the same light I do. They'll never devote themselves to you the way I would. Why'd you spend your time with somebody like that when I'm obviously here?" This also led to me comparing myself to others a lot and trying to make sense of things. "My grades are higher than theirs, so it's not academics then. We're the same weight, I'd argue I'm a bit thinner- It isn't that either. We literally have the same hair colour, or is it the hairstyle? IT HAS TO BE THEIR LOVELY SMILE, ISN'T IT? OR IS IT CAUSE THEY'RE JUST SO FUNNY?" Just an example.

▪︎Everything above sort of shaped my preferences for hobbies as well and things such as boundaries in relationships, which I've touched upon in a different post. All this also led to me always trying to spot "people like me"-those who'd understand, sympathizing with them, etc.

This sounds bad, yes, I know. I can explain. I originally made this alt account to lurk into the yandere/obsessive love subreddits to feel better about myself and feel more normal. I eventually came to embrace this side of mine instead of trying to suppress it.

⚠️Disclaimer: If you disagree with me on certain things I've said here or in other posts/comments, please be respectful. Don't try to argue or change my mind, just avoid engaging with me.

⚠️⚠️Would your ex describe you as a "controlling" or "toxic" boyfriend? Do you think the average couple/relationship is very "non-chalant"? Would your personal preferences and beliefs get you canceled? If yes, then keep reading.⚠️⚠️

■What I'm looking for:

▪︎First of all, I'd like to clarify that I'm interested in a potential long-term relationship, I'm not comfortable being friends with a guy specifically (unless we're in the process of getting to know each other and are only talking to each other, ofc, but that doesn't count). However, if you're female, by all means, please do reach out if you're interested in being friends!!!

▪︎Personality traits I admire/would prefer: being straightforward, self-awareness, discipline, honesty, not being a jerk, assertiveness (I'd say I'm more passive, leaning sub, but that doesnt doesn't mean I'm not opinionated), being decisive (pls)(this is something I struggle with), being objective/realistic about things, pessimism perhaps? Being clingy/needy>>>>>

▪︎If your self-worth is determined by numbers, grades, achievements and/or is measured by productivity, then this is about you. I really admire hard-working people, students that pay attention to detail, have goals, are always doing something, etc.

▪︎If you hate "normal" things that the majority of people would enjoy (such as clubs, socializing, huge crowds, concerts, going out, drinking, sports, etc.), then again, I'm talking about you.🫵

▪︎If you hate the idea of a) knowing that in a room full of people nobody will come looking for you or

b) if you hate knowing that you can't rely on your friends (or anyone, really) in a public setting because once the one person who's talking to you leaves to talk to others, you'll be alone, then fear not, I can change that.🤭

▪︎Bonus points if you have one of the following (or some of the personality traits that come with those conditions): bpd, anger issues, anhedonia, ocd, autism, social anxiety, traumas, insomnia, etc.

▪︎Bonus points if you have barely any or no friends and/or if you struggle connecting with people, opening up, etc.

▪︎Bonus points if you get easily irritated/overstimulated (would be relatable)(but not being a jerk about it).

▪︎Bonus points if you don't have that naturally loud of a voice/ are soft-spoken.

▪︎NO homophobia, NO sexism, NO discrimination of any sort.

▪︎Bonus points if you have a sister/cousin I can be friends with and hang out with. (And ask her for advice, gift ideas for you, etc.) Or if you're the sister/cousin and think your sibling/relative is a loser/weirdo, that's also fine.😭

▪︎Bonus points if you like yapping about your own interests but don't talk in public or are oftentimes perceived as mean. We can look mean together and avoid people.<3

▪︎⚠️Would be nice if we had some of the following interests/hobbies in common: astronomy, spirituality/mysticism, mythology, computer science (or similar disciplines), languages, hating all people by default, conspiracies, Pokemon TCGP, dark fantasy (as a genre), poetry, anime/manga, etc.

▪︎No preferred age, nationality/ethnicity or religion, just don't be a jerk!

▪︎Minor disclaimer: I don't trust easily, however, I do get attached easily🥀 So don't assume I don't care if we're in the process of getting to know each other and I'm not willing to share very personal identifying info, yet. This does not mean we're any less exclusive. Also: I wouldn't mind being in an ldr for however long that takes. I would describe myself as physically clingy (only to my hypothetical partner tho) and would want to be in your presence 24/7, away from anyone else.

▪︎⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️Another disclaimer: I'm probably the most sensitive person you'll ever interact with. I get triggered over very minor things, wording, etc.

⚠️⚠️⚠️Another note for you: SHOOT YOUR SHOT. "I won't even dm. I bet she already got hundreds of requests." We're all aware of the sheer amount of attention females get on these subreddits. I posted a year ago from a different account, and I can most certainly guarantee that 75% of the guys here either don't know how to dm properly (can't even introduce themselves with anything longer than 2 sentences, can't name their interests, etc.) or just straight up dm from their 🌽 accounts. I wish I was kidding. (We don't reply to those requests, btw if you were wondering. Their posts and comments are also a deciding factor.) You'd assume people this desperate to hit would try a bit harder.

Another thing I noticed was that a lot of people just don't seem to care? By that I mean, they reach out first, which supposedly shows interest and then when texting, you'd have to *force* the information out of them, ask questions, and they'd ask nothing or remember nothing about you afterwards. I'm struggling to understand if they're simply disinterested or if that's just lack of communication skills. So if you have more than 2 functioning braincells, have the ability to form an original, coherent thought and aren't a professional gooner, you're probably already better than everybody who lurks here.🥀 Don't let that stop you from finding your future partner, y'all. Not saying it's me. I'm just saying that some of y'all need to be more confident.

■How you benefit from having me as your friend/partner:

▪︎Immediate replies to your dms (unless there's some sort of emergency on my side or I'm doing smth, but you'll most likely be informed in advance).

▪︎I will want to know everything about you and will do my best to remember small details!

▪︎I'm a simp.

▪︎Anything the average person would think is creepy, weird, controlling, unnecessary I'm probably going to be into so you'll be cherished for who you are instead of simply tolerated "despite" those traits!

▪︎I will: care about you, think about you, ask you questions about your day and interests, be proud of you, etc. Every other guy is dead to me.

▪︎If we have a huge timezone difference and you feel lonely, you can use our dms and spam me updates or vent. That'd be the first thing I'll read in the morning and it'd probably bring a smile to my face.

▪︎You will be eligible for promotion to the rank/title of "best friend" in addition to being my partner! (I need a girl best friend too tho so you girlies feel free to reach out;))

▪︎We could take up a new hobby together!

▪︎I can scold you to lock in and be productive. Or force you to take breaks.

▪︎I will allow you to lie about me irl to get out of situations and we will fabricate really believable scenarios and proof. E.g. "I can't attend, sorry y'all, I'll be seeing my friend/partner" or if your classmates/friends make fun of you for not going out or having game, etc., you may post a fake story and tag me and I'll even repost and play along.🫡✌️ And if we ever meet irl, we can go full-on performative w/ the couple stuff to piss people off🥀(matching outfits, matching everything, cringe and mid matcha latte in our hands, etc.)

▪︎You'll have the *unwavering* knowledge of the fact that you're the only person in my life, the only one that ever crosses my mind and will have my utmost respect, devotion and admiration.

▪︎You will be able to share anything with me, tell me anything, demand anything and you'll know I won't think it's weird and will always be willing to listen and *will* understand, not just try to.:)

■How I benefit:

▪︎Hopefully and preferably the same way you do.

▪︎If you're not socially anxious or are a bit more sociable than me, you'll HAVE TO speak for me in public pls.🥀

▪︎I'll cling onto you for comfort.

▪︎Getting to hear a nerdy loser talk about his interests.🫠

I do not want to overshare so if you think we could be compatible, feel free to reach out and ask for more info. In case it wasn't obvious, I think I embody the same exact traits I'm looking for (unless otherwise stated), which is why I ended up here to begin with. I want to find somebody who can truly understand me and whom I can and know how to "deal with".

I'm willing to elaborate on my red flags, background/interests/hobbies, describe appearance (don't be a weirdo and ask for photos yet, you'll get blocked), kinks, personal goals/long-term plans, values, boundaries, dealbreakers, and pretty much anything that is important and you need to know. I'm an open book. This is also information I'd really want to know about you too, so feel free to share anything relevant!

⚠️Another disclaimer: I *know* this will probably get the attention of fetishizers so I'll make a few things clear: You might think making a girl jealous is hot; it's not to us. We don't enjoy crying over your ignorance, overthinking or doubting you and what you do behind our backs, nor do we enjoy waiting hours for a simple reply or having half of our texts ignored every time you come back because you're bored and act like nothing happened and like you're unaware of how it makes us feel. I'm tired explaining why I feel the way I do and trying to make others understand. I have a low baseline for what triggers me and I'll legit block you if you do or say something ignorant enough. On that note, I try to be as mindful as possible, but if I do something that hurts you, tell me ASAP. I will explain myself, I will understand, I won't argue or try convincing you "you're the problem." We're on the same team.:)

I've almost lost all hope given my nature and heavily doubt I'll find somebody who can tolerate and truly understand me, let alone relate. At least not anytime soon. I'll just post this to put myself out there because who knows? Maybe my soulmate will see this in 10 years and decides to dm me. I just crave closure in some way, I need to see this fail and finally "give up", at least for now so I can go on with my life.

If you relate to any of my experiences, even one bit, just remember you're not alone.<3

You can clearly tell I was getting progressively more and more sleep-deprived depending on what paragraph you read.🥀 Thank you for reading this mess, I hope your pillow is cold and fresh tonight. I'll now go and bury my face in a pillow from the embarrassment of posting this.

Note: NSFW flair just in case

You probably don't exist. Or are dead. I'm doomed to die alone, aching and dreaming of love that I won't ever find in the exact form I need. What am I doing wrong? Why am I so sensitive? Why must everything hurt? Am I that undeserving?

How can I learn to live like this when something clearly is missing? I'll tell myself you don't exist cause that hurts a bit less. Gosh, it still hurts. Is there even a point to living? I'll wither away way too soon like this.

(I'm back oversharing in an attempt to find relatable people and to convince myself that whatever is wrong is me is okay and that I'm not alone.🥀)

■ The question is: What things have you, as a yandere, stopped doing since you found a partner or are not doing (either because they don't sit right with you or because you want to be somebody your yandere partner is/can be proud of)? I'd love to hear if any of you got your own personal habits or things that dictate your way of life i.r.t being a yandere/obsessive.

I'll provide a few personal examples. They're a mix of things I personally wouldn't and don't do anyway because I don't want to be a hypocrite for judging the people that do those or for not wanting to be with somebody who does those things. Some of them are a result of traumas or things I just don't enjoy, don't feel the need to do, think/feel are a waste of time, etc. I also acknowledge that I'm veryyyyyyyy sensitive and easy to trigger and that people struggle to understand so I'd like to end up with a guy as sensitive as me, which comes with great responsibility.

■The personal examples in question:

▪︎I don't watch movies that may involve nudity to any extent (for either sexes) or any media that is centered around fan service. (Cause if I were a dude idk if I'd be okay with my gf watching anime about half naked dudes doing sports no matter how good the plot is.🥀)

▪︎Stopped watching MVs of kpop boy groups.

(For context, I used to be a kpop stan so I'm familiar with how disgusting the stans are, how they talk about the celebrities and how performative and manufactured everything is. I'm not comfortable stanning some random dude who wants to take my money and be simped for whilst also being very sexist, homophobic, hypocritical, etc. off camera and also directly or indirectly supports that industry as well as EDs and toxic/unrealistic beauty standards. Not saying every celebrity is a liar, I'm sure there's plenty that are great people, but I still wouldn't want to spend any time looking at or engaging w/ those dudes in any form and if I were a guy I wouldn't be comfortable having a gf that just stares at random guys casually if she has a partner (or even if she doesn't) or fawns over them🥀. What I do now is just use lyrics videos and if I do watch MVs, it's probably gonna be girlgroups and very sfw stuff. This applies to other genres too, not just Kpop.)

▪︎Unfollowed/unfriended all guys on all social media except for relatives.

I don't wanna keep in touch with any guy even if I'm single. It's not like I do anyway so there's no point in having their contacts or having my future partner wonder who that random guy is and why I added him. This is not only about guys I may have known irl (e.g. former classmates) but also celebrities or online personalities. (I don't need to follow a random singer or band to prove I like them nor do I wanna see their photos or faces anyway.🥀)

I kept a few people that do political debates or a writer or two, people that may make educational context and whose posts don't give me the ick, etc. (And would still unfollow them in an instant if my future partner asks or the moment they piss me off with something they post.)

▪︎Needless to say, I don't (and never did) keep up with celebrities, streamers and content creators who are chronically online and don't do anything meaningful or if their content is just them reacting to things or playing games or trying to sell their personality.

▪︎Refusing to go out with guys or mixed gender groups, old friend groups, etc. if I know there'd be guys (even if they're all taken or are my friends' boyfriends, none of which have any to begin with🥀).

▪︎Not dressing a certain way, but that's also due to personal preference and discomfort.

■Tldr: What are things you don't do or started/stopped doing to be somebody you're proud of, somebody your partner is proud of or to "attract" somebody like-minded?

I'd love to hear about yall's personal experiences cause I'm really curious! (And please don't slime me if you disagree w/ me on anything🥀)

Hello! I've recently come to terms with my very obsessive nature, joined yandere subs and am curious about you guys' experiences.:)

For context, I've tried connecting/interacting with people that also labeled themselves as "yandere" or "obsessive" (which ofc means something very different to everyone) and I've oftentimes ended up thinking they were rather "non-chalant" or displayed beliefs/acted in ways I wouldn't expect given the context, etc. I'd also like to point out that I probably have a very questionable (and maybe even toxic?) idea of what "perfect love" is to me and am on the needier and clingier side of the spectrum. Having said that, I've always felt the need to belong somewhere and be understood and feel like some of you may understand or relate.

I'd love to hear more about you guys' experiences and see the "spectrum" of what "obsessive" can mean to you guys.

\[Questions:\]

▪︎How "controlling" are you guys? (What do you want/prefer/need/demand to know about your partner/crush?)

▪︎What are boundaries/dealbreakers you've set in relationships as an obsessive person (that would seem "weird", "unhealthy" and "insecure" to a "normal" person)?

▪︎Are you obsessive yourself or seeking somebody obsessive instead? (I've always assumed that people of this nature NEED to be with somebody like them because that's the case for me and it'd drive me insane not being treated/needed the same way. I'd love to know if there's anyone who \\\*would\\\* be okay with being with somebody less/not obsessive?)

▪︎How much is (or isn't) "too much"?

\[Personal experiences:\]

I can provide a few personal examples:

▪︎I personally want to know EVERYTHING about my person (not out of distrust or insecurity, not necessarily at least. It just makes me happy).

Examples: all apps they're using, all accounts they own, every person they interact with daily and to what extent (not to control or limit them but just to know), what they're doing all the time (in detail), how they're feeling, etc. I love the idea of a relationship where every single hint of doubt, insecurity, preference, etc. is expressed verbally and made known to both people involved.

▪︎Boundaries/dealbreakers: anything involving nsfw content of any form (fanfiction, 🌽 , revealing photos, thirst traps, lewd art, following questionable accs online, etc)(which a lot of "obsessive" people seem to be okay with I \\\*assume\\\* given what art is posted on yandere subs)(even the normal sfw art), having friends/meaningful connections or frequent interactions w/ people of the opposite sex, etc. This itself can be "too much" for the average person to deal with and I'd completely respect that and understand why most people wouldn't agree to those conditions.

▪︎Not quite sure what's "too much" for me personally but some things I'd love/wouldn't mind: going through each other's phones (even checking dms, likes, saved posts, fyp), signing into each other's accounts (or sharing) from our own devices, etc. I had an ex who suggested we only goon at the exact same time together (long distance relationship), otherwise we just wait for each other. To clarify, I did not think or feel that it was weird/controlling, quite the opposite. Also really wouldn't mind if I had a camera attached to me 24/7 (or got to stalk my partner that way if they were okay with it to begin with, ofc). Edit: Hear me out. Carrying a vessel w/ your partner's blo*d? (ethically sourced w/ consent ofc)

Edit: "Too much": I once interacted with somebody who didn't want a single drop of alcohol (I don't/barely drink anyway and don't enjoy it) or coffee in my mouth/body and would limit my coffee consumption to 1 mug and would crash out if I needed more no matter how sleep deprived I was (but also wouldn't let me nap during the day)(and would prefer we go sleep at the same time even if I need more time for schoolwork, studying and assignments).

I'd love to hear about you guys' experiences and personal preferences! (And please don't slime me if you disagree with some of my preferences/needs.🥀)

Hey:) I'm back🥀🥀 Long story short, I've recently been looking into therapy, have been reading a lot about certain conditions and came across this:

"There is a significant correlation between obsessive, clingy, or possessive behaviors and several clinical mental health conditions. While these behaviors are not exclusive to these disorders, they often manifest as symptoms of underlying emotional dysregulation or fear-based attachment."

I myself likely have ROCD or am bipolar and have been self-harming on and off for years. Certain past experiences have also shaped my boundaries when it comes to dating (which is a less direct way of saying my ex gave me traumas and reasons to get panic attacks on a regular basis but it is what it is🥀) so the statement above does seem to make sense.

I apologize if this has been asked before, but I'm curious about the following:

▪︎Have any of you gotten help for similar matters or been diagnosed with any personality disorders (or other conditions)?

▪︎For those that have gotten therapy: did you ever bring up your obsessiveness? If so, what were the reactions?

I've yet to start therapy and know that I will have to bring this topic up to some extent because it's directly tied to some of my other problems. However, I'm worried I'll be asked to change my beliefs or habits, "tone it down", etc. At the end of the day, it's a fundamental part of who I am and what I believe in so it's not something that I want to change, just to clarify.

I'd love to hear about you guys' experiences.:)