u/Purple-Average

Hola
A principios de este año pasó algo que cambió mi relacion. Mi novio llevaba como 5-6 meses de estar desempleado y no hacia nada para buscar algo. Yo trataba de ayudarlo pero el no tenia interés ni se esforzaba. Al parecer tambien se drogaba porque en la casa no me ayudaba a limpiar o a sacar la basura y no se bañaba y era un poco grosero conmigo. El ya me habia confesado que usaba drogas pero me dijo que las habia dejado.
Un dia yo le reclamé porque no podia sola con los gastos y me dijo que como no tenia como ayudarme con los gastos era mejor irse de mi casa.

A partir de ese dia, supe que ya no tenia futuro con el y estaba decepcionada de su actitud.
Resulta que un hombre atractivo de mi gimnasio empezó a lanzarme miradas y yo no resisti la tentación porque ya veia mi otra relacion terminada porque el dijo que iba a irse. No queria nada serio con este tipo del gimnasio, simplemente conocerlo más porque mi novio ya era un caso perdido.

Como mi novio aun seguia viviendo conmigo quise ser transparente y le dije que estaba hablando con alguien mas. El se enojó, se sintio mal y me dijo que queria volver conmigo. Yo no queria pero el me suplicó regresar hasta el cansancio.
En pocas palabras, volvimos. El ahora ya tiene trabajo pero todo el tiempo esta enojado conmigo. Aquello pasó meses atras pero el me lo reclama siempre, me insulta y me acusa de infiel y traicionera. Cuando yo le digo que el descuido la relacion y me trataba mal al drogarse dice que eso no es “grave” comparado con lo que yo hice. Dice que no buscar trabajo y todo lo que hizo el no fue la gran cosa y la unica culera soy yo.

Admito que cometi un error y no fui una santa pero creo que no es justo que me heche toda la culpa a mi y no admita sus propios errores. Creo que me va a reprochar toda la vida esto y yo no se si deberia sentirme tan mal por lo que hice. ¿Soy culera?

Hi. My dad is 65 years old and my mom 70. They haven’t saved a lot for their retirement, especially my dad.
My mom tells me that my dad gives a lot of money to the church. My dad is Christian and goes to church regularly. I know it’s none of my business what he does with his money but I think my parents will need help in the future since they’re not young anymore. Right now I’m helping my mom but it’s becoming too much for me and I don’t think I’ll be able to do all the caregiving on my own. They might need to consider hiring someone.

I don’t know how to have this conversation with my dad because he thinks giving money to the church is the right thing to do and that God will bless him. My mom also complains because she gets very little money from social security and since she doesn’t work she struggles financially. She resents my dad for not giving her money when she needs it while giving a lot to the church.

Will I be wrong if I tell my dad to prioritize his future? Being their full time caregiver will be too much for me and they need to plan their retirement and start saving.

Hi. This is going ti be long, so thanks in advance for reading. I want to start off by saying that I don’t like talking bad about my mom but I need to vent somewhere. I’m starting to feel stressed because my mom relies too much on me for help.

I live in the USA but my family is originally from another country. We moved here when I was 12 for “a better life”. My mom’s parents were getting old but my mom put herself and her family first and left her parents alone in our home country. My dad did pretty much the same with his parents. It never crossed their mind to help their parents in their old age since they were aging at that time.

Eventually my mom’s parents got too old to live alone in our home country so my wealthy uncle who lived in Europe took my grandparents and they moved to Europe with him. They had a really good life there and my uncle was their caregiver.
Since my grandma had mobility issues she only came to the USA to visit us once. She stayed in our house for like a week and my mom treated her horribly. Grandma had an accident in the bathroom because the toilet was broken and she wasn’t supposed to flush it but I guess she “forgot”. My mom got upset, yelled and went crazy on my poor grandma. I don’t think she deserved this treatment, especially since my mom was off the hook from looking after her. The only week my mom had to help with her aging mom, she loses it and doesn’t have patience.

My mom used to also make fun of her father in law too. When my grandfather from dad’s side was too old and we would go visit our family oversees she used to say: “It’s boring that we have to spend time with your grandfather. I want to do other things, not be with your grandfather all day”.

Now mom is 70 and has become entitled and demanding. Since she stopped driving she wants everyone to cater to her needs and won’t take the bus or walk. She’ll text me on my days off to run errands for her. I do it sometimes but if I say no, she’ll stop talking to me. She also wanted me to be a pet sitter for her dog without warning. My dad also has to drive her everywhere and he’s tired. She just doesn’t understand how overwhelming this is because she never did it these sacrifices her own parents.

I know it will get worst later which is why I’m planning on telling my parents they’ll need to hire help because I can’t do it all by myself.
Am I wrong for this? Even if my mom gets mad or hurt, is it fair that I have to sacrifice my life for her when she’s not even considered and expects me to give her all my time?

Hola
Soy una mujer que va al gimnasio 2 veces por semana.
Tengo novio y vivo con el. Hubo un tiempo donde mi novio y yo nos peleamos y decidimos terminar. Yo tomé muy en serio la separacion a pesar de que el seguia viviendo conmigo y empeze a hablar con un chico que conocí en mi gimnasio.
Entonces mi novio y yo estabamos separados pero aun viviendo juntos.

Por respeto hacia el, le conté que estaba hablando con alguien. Su reacción fue rara porque al principio se enojó pero despues me dijo que estaba en mi derecho de hablar con quien yo quiera.

Hace poco tomamos la decision de regresar y arreglar nuestras diferencias. El chico del gimnasio lo sabe y entendió mi situación. No se molestó.
Pero ahora mi novio no deja de acusarme de cosas malas y tambien me dijo que lo traicioné. Yo le dije que el me habia dicho que podia hablar con cualquiera y su respuesta fue: “ahhh entonces si te digo que te tires de un puente tu lo haces?”

Yo ya no hablo con ese chico del gimnasio aunque a veces el me saluda porque es inevitable no encontrarmelo ahi. Y mi novio dice que tengo que ser fria, negarle el saludo, y ni siquiera mirarlo.
Yo no se si es bueno o no saludarlo pero yo lo hago por educación nada mas. Eso no significa que yo quiera algo más con él y mi novio deberia de confiar en mi. Pero dice que yo le estoy dando entrada al responderle el saludo es una falta derecho de respeto. Osea que le digo si me dice hola? “Vete, vete no quiero que tengo acerques”. Algo asi…

Yo le he dicho a mi novio que estoy dispuesta a cambiarme de gimnasio y asi no me lo encuentro. Pero el me dice que la solución es portarme fria con el. Esa no es mi personalidad. Me gusta ser educada y no se si el exagera con sus celos.

It’s my first time using vitamin C. I want to add it to my skincare routine but I don’t know what to buy, especially since I’m sensitive.
Any recommendations?

Hi
I’m a woman in her late 30s. I live on my own with my partner.
My mom is 70 years old and retired and my dad is 64 and still works. Yes, my dad is younger than my mom.

The problem is that my parents have a really toxic marriage and they live like roommates in their house in separate rooms. They also don’t talk to each other and this is making things complicated because my mom is old and needs more help. Since my mom doesn’t drive my dad takes her to places. Sometimes I drive her too but the last time my parents had a fight my dad told my mom he was no longer driving her at all, so now my mom sees me as her designated driver. While I don’t mind sometimes, I have my own errands to do or sometimes I want to rest on my days off from work. I don’t want to agree to drive her all the time. I have a sibling but he’s a single dad and never has time for anything.

Now my mom also started complaining that my dad makes noise at night and he doesn’t let her sleep since my mom’s room is near the kitchen and my dad goes to the kitchen a lot. She said my dad doesn’t help her take care of their puppy that they BOTH decided to buy. She’s almost 1.
I hope I don’t end up taking care of their puppy since they can’t communicate and agree to anything.

I feel stressed and anxious to the thought of caring for my parents when they become too old and sick. How will I help two people that can’t be civil to one another? I know it seems like my dad is the villain here but my mom is not an angel. She also insults my dad, treats him bad and barely helps him financially.

I want to help my parents when they’re old but if they become too difficult, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t want to feel like I’m paying the price of their toxic marriage. I have to protect my own mental and physical health.
I also forgot to add that my parents have tried therapy many times but they never made their marriage work. They can’t divorce because they can’t afford to live independently.
What advice can you give me?

Hi. I will try to make this as short as possible.
I’m 39 and my boyfriend is 50 and we live together but we’re not married. We both decided we didn’t want to get married again after divorce. I don’t have kids and he has grown kids.

I’ve had many problems in this relationship because my boyfriend has a bad temper and is always sweating the small stuff. He easily gets mad over simple things and when this happens he stops talking to me for days and gives me the cold shoulder. The relationship is very unstable and even though I’ve given him chances to improve, nothing changes.

Whenever we try to break up he would end up crying and begging me to not leave. I’ve stayed with him because I care about his wellbeing but then he starts creating drama again and I don’t like it. I want a peaceful life and not unnecessary drama.

After being patient and given him chances, this time I was serious about leaving. Yesterday I started packing some old stuff in boxes to donate it because we have a lot of things in our apartment and I needed to start somewhere. He was shocked that I was doing this and had a sad face and once again told me to not leave.
I hate that he does this because I’m a very empathetic person and I don’t like when others suffer. I start to feel bad and now I’m confused. I know deep down it’s not a good idea to stay but I feel like a monster for breaking someone’s heart.

So I realized that my boyfriend is codependent and I feel trapped in this relationship.
He also lost his mom a few years ago and that really affected him because he was close to her and he never went to therapy for it. I’ve suggested therapy a couple of times but he’s never been interested in going to therapy for any reason.
I feel like I’m the only person he has and his happiness depends on me. He has his adult kids but they have their own lives.
I’m so lost and don’t know what to do anymore.

Hi. I noticed I’ve been getting a lot of age spots on my hands. I never had these many and I look older. It’s so annoying!
I’ve done lasers in the past which worked but now I keep getting more spots even though I use gloves to drive and try to stay away from the sun.
Have you tried something that made these spots less visible? Maybe retinol or a hand cream?

Tengo esa curiosidad.
Me acuerdo que cuando era una niña probé el cafe pero no senti la gran cosa y no entendia porque era tan popular y los adultos lo tomaban.
Ahora de adulta me encanta y me tomó 1 taza todas las mañanas.
Casi todos los adultos toman café y salen con los amigos a tomar café y lo mismo con las citas amorosas.
Hasta Starbucks se ha vuelto un fenomeno mundial y de seguro empezó siendo una cafeteria normal.
¿Que tiene el café que supera a todas las demas bebidas? Desde jugos, chocolate caliente, tés, etc.
lo mas popular es el café.
¿Porque mucha gente es adicta a él?

Hola. Soy una mujer de casi 40 años que decidió terminar una relacion despues de 8 años juntos. No tenemos hijos ni estamos casados.
Para mi esto es bien difícil y muchas veces quise terminar la relación pero me arrepentia por miedo a no volver a encontrar pareja a mi edad.

Ahorita estoy tratando de ser fuerte y mantenerme firme en mi decision. Tengo que vender mis muebles y mudarme a otro lugar mas barato que pueda pagar sola. Pero siento una tristeza profunda no solo por dejar a mi pareja de años, pero tambien por dejar mi casa donde he vivido mucho tiempo.
No quisiera hecharme para atras y arrepentirme otra vez. Es que aunque me quede con él, las cosas no cambian. El se enoja y se queja mucho y no me da la paz que necesito.
Si decidiera quedarme con él seria por miedo a la soledad.

El problema para mi no es conocer hombres. Puedo tener amigos y conocer gente pero me siento muy cerrada para volver a enamorarme. No quiero ilusionarme más y terminar sola después. ¿Como le hago para no tener miedo a la soledad?
¿Puede una mujer mayor, dañada por relaciones pasadas volver a encontrar el amor?

Hi. I’ve had a Reddit account for a long time. I don’t have any other social media except Facebook which I only use to keep in touch with my family that lives abroad.

I use Reddit for entertainment. I read posts and like to comment here and there.
Right now I was using Reddit a lot because of the World Cup to discuss every game and read what people said. I mentioned this to my boyfriend and said I was wrong for using Reddit. That I should’ve told him and not hide it from him.

I never told him anything because I’m not doing anything inappropriate. I don’t chat with men on Reddit or act like I’m single.
My boyfriend said it’s weird I’m into football and it’s wrong for me to talk to internet strangers about the World Cup. I think it’s totally normal and the wrong one is him.
Am I supposed to tell my boyfriend everything even when it’s not inappropriate?
He thinks using Reddit and exchanging ideas and opinions in the internet is disrespectful.
Am I wrong?

Hola
Llevo casi mas de un año teniendo una cuenta en Reddit y lo uso para entretenerme. Me gusta leer lo que pone la gente. A veces comento y tambien escribo cosas pero sanas y nada del otro mundo.

Ahora por el mundial he estado mas tiempo en el celular porque me gusta leer las opiniones de los demas despues de los partidos. Se lo comenté a mi novio y el me dijo que era raro que me guste el futbol y que se imaginaba que yo hablaba con puros hombres. Le explique que en Reddit hay hombres y mujeres que expresan sus opiniones pero me dijo que era una falta de respeto que yo este metida en este sitio y que nunca se lo haya dicho.

La razon por la cual no le dije nada es porque no hago nada malo en Reddit. El tiene miedo de que los hombres me manden mensajes privados. Si me ha pasado pero por lo general los ignoro. Las pocas veces que he respondido he sido transparente y les digo que tengo pareja y procuro no seguir con la conversacion.
Asi que no tengo nada de que sentirme mal.
¿Debo dejar de usar Reddit porque a mi novio no le gusta? Es la unica red social que tengo ademas de Facebook. En Facebook casi nunca subo fotos y solo lo uso para estar en contacto con mi familia.
¿Es una falta de respeto lo que hago?

Hola
Llevo 8 años de relacion con mi novio y siempre he ido sola al gimnasio porque el no va. Hasta antes de conocerlo voy seguido a hacer ejercicios.
Ahora me ha propuesto ir al gimnasio juntos y a mi no me molesta. Le dije que no habia problema pero el me dijo que queria abrazarme en el gimnasio y agarrarme la cintura.
A mi personalmente me incomoda porque siento que el gimnasio no es lugar para eso. No me molesta abrazar a mi novio en publico pero prefiero hacerlo en un parque o un lugar mas adecuado y no ahi porque todos van a hacer su rutina de ejercicio.

No me molesta que el venga conmigo pero no quiero hacer ese tipo de cosas. A mi novio le molestó y hasta me dice que quiere dejarme.
¿Es malo no querer exhibirme con el? A parte soy tambien penosa y prefiero hacer expresiones de cariño en privado. ¿Soy culero/a?

Hola
Soy una mujer que tiene una buena relacion con sus padres. Sin embargo siento que mi mamá es muy egoista y a veces me cuesta entenderla.

Para aclarar, yo no vivo con mis padres. Soy adulta y tengo mis propias responsabilidades.
Estoy enojada porque me considero buena hija y ayudo a mi mamá en lo que puedo pero ultimamente siento que se pasa y se aprovecha de mi ayuda y tiempo.

Ella sabe que yo trabajo y solo los fines de semana descanso y casi TODOS los fines de semana me ha pedido que le haga un favor. Hoy Domingo me mando un mensaje a las 8 de la mañana pidiendome que haga una llamada por ella. Ni me levanto de la cama y ya tengo que hacer algo simple que ella misma puede hacer. No es nada del otro mundo ni tampoco de vida o muerte.

Pero lo que mas duele es que mi mamá decidio ayudar a mi hermano a comprarse una casa y el no hace nada por ella, hasta la trata mal a veces. Y yo que he hecho mucho por ella no recibo nada. No es que espere algo a cambio pero no me siento apreciada y valorada como hija.
Cuando trato de desahogarme en Reddit, todos defienden a mi mamá porque “madre hay solo una” y yo solo tengo que aguantarme.
¿Tengo derecho de poner mis limites cuando se trata de ayudar a mi mamá? Porque el tener titulo de “padre” o “madre” te convierte en un santo?

I have a hard time saying no. I try to help my family as much as I can. For the past 7 years I’ve been driving my mom to places or helping her with errands because she stopped driving. She lives down the street from me so right now it’s not a problem. But it does get exhausting sometimes.

My parents and my brother are making plans to buy a house together and live there so I won’t live close to my parents anymore and I think I’ve done my part helping them out while I could.
I think it makes sense that my brother steps in and starts helping now since he chose to live with my parents. Before, he was the one who lived far but now the roles are reversed. But I’m sure he’ll say he’s busy with his kids or too tired from work and my parents will defend him. They always make excuses for my brother so he doesn’t have to lift a finger.

Right now I’m mad because they’re all going to Europe for a wedding. I can’t go because I couldn’t take time off from work and I’m on a tight budget right now. My parents asked me to help them search for hotels, book train tickets, etc. I honestly don’t mind and I’m excited for them but I got angry when my mom asked me to call the Airline because my brother was having some issues with his passport. Shouldn’t he call since it’s HIS passport. But of course he’s “too busy”. And this whole trip was only planned by my parents and I while my brother didn’t had to do anything. I’ve been to Europe a lot and my brother hasn’t but he still should’ve help since he’s the one going.

Sometimes when I try to say no, my family will continue pushing and I hate feeling guilty after.
But I don’t want to continue putting their needs before mine. I have my own life and just because I don’t have kids doesn’t mean I’m sitting in a couch all day with no responsibilities.
What can I do to make them understand they need to be considerate with my time and stop giving my brother a free pass all the time?

Hola. Soy una mujer de Guatemala y vivo en Los Angeles. Aqui los Mexicanos abundan y tambien los puestos de tacos.
Se que si Mexico ganara un mundial aqui tambien habria un desmadre.
No quiero que gane Argentina ni esos pinches paises que ya aburren. Siempre lo mismo 😒
Soñar no cuesta nada.
Vamos Mexico!!!

Hi. I will probably sound petty but I don’t feel valued by my brother and I want some outside opinions.
I’ve gone above and beyond for my brother and his 2 kids. On Christmas I bought my brother a really nice watch. I wanted to be extra generous because he was going through a divorce with his ex wife so I got him something nice.
Then I also helped him move when he left the marital home.

His birthday was in March and I personally went to visit him and bought pizza to eat dinner with him and his kids. I gave him a present too and that day he asked me if I could go to a toy store to get toys for the kids and that he’ll pay me back. He gave me an excuse that he had to wait for his next paycheck to pay me and he ended up not paying me. I let it go but I spent a lot of money that day.

My birthday was yesterday but we celebrated with my parents on Sunday. We went out for breast and instead of celebrating with me, my brother decided to take his kids to the beach. He could’ve gone to the beach another day since it’s summer vacation but he chose my birthday weekend. Last year he did something similar he went away somewhere instead of celebrating as a family.
I thought he was going to at least wish me a Happy Birthday yesterday but he didn’t. He texted me today saying he was busy working and got home late and that’s why he couldn’t text me Happy Birthday.
Should I believe this or I’m just not important to him? I just feel bad because I never miss any of his birthdays or the kid’s birthday and he can’t take a few minutes of his day to send a quick text.
What are your thoughts?

Se que mi pregunta es muy basica pero no se hasta que punto es bueno o no quedarse en una relación.
No me gusta la idea de terminar porque quisiera una pareja para toda la vida pero a veces las cosas no salen como uno espera. Yo llevo 7 años con mi novio y no es tan facil tomar esta decision.

El problema es que siento que a mi novio le gusta hacer problemas por todo. Los problemas pequeños los hace grandes. Antes yo le perdonaba sus berrinches pero ahora me siento agotada y de nada me sirve perdonarlo e ilusionarme con que todo va a ser bonito porque despues vuelve a pelear y yo no siento estabilidad en esta relacion.

Cuando lo perdono yo espero que el me de tranquilidad y lo ultimo que pasó hace unos dias fue que se enojó porque no le respondi un mensaje mientras estaba con mi papa celebrando el dia del padre. Fue tanto su enojo que me dijo que no queria cenar conmigo y yo tuve que cenar sola en el comedor.

Siento que es muy tonto si sigo soportando a alguien asi. El problema es que mi novio despues de comportarse asi, apenas le digo que mejor terminemos, empieza a rogarme que lo perdone y a decirme que me ama.
Ahora me esta diciendo que soy una exagerada por querer terminar por esto y que sus enojos no son la gran cosa y que lo ignore.
Hubo un tiempo en el que el usaba drogas y estubo tan mal que no trabajo por 4 meses por estar drogado y tampoco me ayudaba en la casa ni limpiaba mientras que yo trabajaba todo el dia. Dice que esto tampoco era para tanto. Que debi ser comprensiva en vez de enojarme por eso.
¿Estoy mal yo por cansarme de el y por querer terminarlo?

I like this Pisces man that took me out twice.
We met at the gym but I wasn’t really sure about him because I wasn’t ready to start a new relationship. He said it was okay and has been really kind and patient with me because he knows I’m hurt from my past relationship.

One day, out of the blue, he just stopped coming to the gym. I thought he hated me and didn’t want to see me again. I started missing him and one day I just couldn’t take him out of my head. I longed to see him again so badly.
That same week I saw him at the gym after weeks of not seeing him. I couldn’t believe it. I was like WHAT????? What just happened 😳
He gave me a smile and approached me and said he came back to see how I’m doing.

I know Pisces is known to be psychic.
Do you normally know when someone is thinking about you or misses you?