u/Purple-Average

Hi. I’ve been dating a man that I met at my gym. He rides a motorcycle to the gym and to his job.
He doesn’t have a car but I do.

For our first date we went to eat ice cream and when I told him I was leaving my house he asked me if I could pick him up, which took me by surprise. I live 30 minutes away from him and the ice cream shop is closer to his place than mine. So I was already going to make this trip while he was closer.
Maybe a car is more comfortable than a motorcycle but I don’t want him to get used to being comfortable and using me for rides. I already had a boyfriend like that in the past and it becomes exhausting when someone relies on you.

So I said I couldn’t pick him up but offered my car trunk so he could put his helmet there and not carry it around.
For the second date it happened again. He asked if I could pick him up and I’ve been saying no but I don’t understand why he can’t use his motorcycle since it’s a mode of transportation and both of our dates have been closer to where he lives.
Am I supposed to pick him up and drop him off? AIO for not wanting to do it?

Hola. Conoci a un hombre en el gimnasio a donde voy. Hemos platicado ahi e incluso a veces hacemos ejercicio juntos. El me dijo que le gusto y me invitó a salir. El no sabia a donde ir y me preguntó que queria hacer. Yo le sugerí ir a comer un helado para que no piense que me interesa su billetera. A menos que salga de el que vayamos a comer o algo mas formal.

Algo que no me gustó desde el principio fue que el queria que lo fuera a recoger a su casa a pesar de que maneja una moto. El siempre se va en moto al gimnasio y a su trabajo. Me parecio raro porque ademas yo no vivo tan cerca de el y la heladeria quedaba mas cerca de el que de donde yo vivo entonces no se cual era el problema de llegar en su moto. Le dije que no podia recogerlo pero le ofreci guardar el casco de su moto en mi carro en lo que comiamos el helado.
En la heladeria el pagó pero yo igual ofreci darle dinero pero el dijo que no me preocupara.

Este fin de semana tuvimos nuestra segunda cita y ahora si pensé que me iba a llevar a comer o algo mas formal porque ya llevamos tiempo de conocernos dentro y fuera del gimnasio. Lo unico que sugirio fue ir a caminar a un centro comercial. Entonces fuimos desde la 1 de la tarde hasta las 4. Me preguntó si queria tomar algo. Habian restaurantes y familias y parejas comiendo y senti raro que no quisiera compartir una actividad asi conmigo de almorzar juntos. Yo puedo pagar mi propia comida pero lo que cuenta es la intención y que al menos pregunte si tengo hambre. Y para colmo tambien me volvio a preguntar si podia recogerlo en su casa tambien para la segunda cita. No quisiera que en el futuro me vea como su chofer porque yo tengo carro.

Entonces no se si el hombre es medio perezoso y tacaño. He tenido novios mas atentos y siento que si sigo saliendo con este hombre me estaria conformando con menos. No se si estoy exagerando por lo de no querer recogerlo hasta su casa y tambien que quisiera salir a comer con el porque es algo super normal si se supone que nos gustamos. Hasta los amigos salen a comer pero no se porque el nunca ha querido hacerlo. No se que pensar.

Hi. I consider myself a sexual person. I enjoy sex and foreplay and all that. However, it’s not the only thing in my mind.
I met a guy recently who talks about sex non stop. Whenever we text he goes straight into sex talk and this has been going on for days. I’m just bored of talking about the same subject 🥱
I’m tired of him not having anything else in his brain.
Like, there’s more in life than just sex, you know?
This guy is a Pisces by the way and I’m disappointed because I’ve met men of other signs that are more interesting.

I also had a boyfriend that was a horndog. I couldn’t watch a normal TV show with him because he wanted to watch sexual content only. I found him to be too shallow. In general, I think people who only think about sex or view it as the best thing in the world are too shallow. Don’t get me wrong, I like sex but there’s a time and place for everything. Talking about sex all day everyday gets exhausting for me. I don’t know how some people can do it.

What do you think about people like this? Is it shallow to only have sex in your brain and not be able to talk about other interesting things?

Conoci a un tipo muy guapo y los dos nos gustamos. El me manda mensajes durante el dia pero casi siempre o la mayoria de los mensajes son provocativos o sugerentes.

Se ve que el tipo es tremendo y es caliente. A mi tambien me gusta ser asi pero obvio con la persona correcta y con alguien que me de mi lugar.
El problema es que el nunca propone una cita concreta. Solo me dice que salgamos pero nunca dice a donde. No me propone ir a comer o algo asi.

Hace poco me pregunto si tenia planes este fin de semana y yo le dije que no. Como siempre, no propuso nada y solo me pregunto que queria hacer. A mi me da pena decirle ir a comer porque la invitacion deberia de salir de el. Le deberia de nacer llevarme a algun lugar bonito pero se ve que no le interesa. Entonces le pregunté que sugeria él. Me dijo que si queria ir a un hotel.
Siendo sincera a mi si me gustaria que pasara algo rico entre nosotros pero siento feo que no me invite ni siquiera a tomar algo. No me siento comoda con este tipo de trato. Es como si valiera poca cosa para el cuando otros hombres podrian tratarme mejor.

Estoy empezando a pensar si mejor ya no le hablo. Es que creo que ni para algo casual vale la pena por muy guapo que este. A menos que yo quiera que solo me usen y nunca me lleven a dar una vuelta.
¿Es normal sentirme incomoda por esto?

Hi. I’ve had a huge crush on this cute guy from my gym since earlier this year. He’s definitely my type, very sexy and masculine.
The good news is that he liked me back and we even went out one time.

For some reason he has been playing games with me. At the gym he’s very flirty and he said he really wanted to text me but when he did he ghosted me. He did this twice already and today I decided to not go to the gym. I feel like a fool believing that he genuinely wanted something meaningful that I don’t want to see him. It’s going to feel awkward to go there, like what am I supposed to do? Act mad because he’s hurting me or pretend that I don’t care?

I care about my mental wellbeing so I decided to not go even if the gym is important to me and I’m very disciplined. I have never missed a gym day on purpose. I don’t know if it’s immature and weak that I acted this way but I don’t care. I just know that I feel disappointed. I’m even considering changing gyms because I feel too embarrassed to go back and I know now that he wasn’t serious. I told the guy that I was thinking about him before getting ghosted so that’s why I’m embarrassed.
Am I crazy for avoiding the gym over a crush?

No se si fue traición lo que hice pero mi novio y yo habiamos hablado de terminar. Yo tomé en serio esa decision y empeze a conocer a otro hombre. Mi novio aun vivia en mi casa pero yo ya habia dado por terminada la relacion. Yo fui transparente con el y le dije que estaba conociendo a alguien más porque no tenia pensado regresar con el.

Cuando le dije eso estallo la bomba! Se puso furioso y me amenazó. Luego se calmó y me suplico otra oportunidad con lagrimas. Al principio no quise darsela pero terminó conmoviendome con su llanto y por los años que teniamos juntos le dije que lo volvieramos a intentar. Pero quedamos en que el no me iba a hacer reclamos cosas sobre ese hombre al que conoci y lo ocurrido.

Pues hasta ahora llevamos 2 meses desde que volvimos y no ha cumplido su palabra. Duda de mi siempre y saca el tema de la traicion una y otra vez. Yo ya lo olvidé y ya no he vuelto a hablar ni ver a ese tipo. Tambien duda de mi. Por ejemplo, me quitaron unas varices en la pierna y el medico me dijo que tengo que caminar a diario para la circulacion de mi sangre. A mi novio le molesta que vaya a caminar al gimnasio en las mañanas. Dice que no hay razon para ir porque no estoy levantando pesas. Se inventa que me voy a ver con el tipo cuando yo no hago nada ni lo he vuelto a ver.
Me tiene harta sinceramente. Entiendo que desconfie de mi pero entonces porque me pidio volver?

Yo volvi con el para estar bien, no para que me atormente de esta manera. O estamos bien y confia en mi o mejor nos separamos.
Es muy raro el comportamiento de mi novio. Un dia me dice con lagrimas que me adora y soy la mujer de su vida y al dia siguiente me insulta y se inventa que no lo amo y prefiero al otro tipo cuando no es verdad.
¿Deberia de dejarlo y que cada uno siga su camino?

Hi. I don’t know if I should tell my mom what happened.
My brother reached out to me and told me he was thinking we could take my mom out to lunch on Mother’s day. I told him I was tight financially and I preferred to get something simple to my mom like flowers or some pastries. My brother started questioning why I couldn’t go so I said fine, but we agreed that we were paying for our own food and paying for my mom’s food between both of us. That was the agreement.

We ended up going to a pricey restaurant that my brother picked. We ordered our food but my brother ordered extra stuff and an expensive drink.
My brother told me he was going to transfer me the money of the bill because he had to go pick up his kids. He transferred $37 dollars and his food alone was $40. He only paid for his food and did not cover part of my mom’s food, which was supposed to be her gift for mother’s day. I ended up paying more than my brother even though I ordered only one meal and the same with my mom. It doesn’t make sense that he made me pay more when my plate (and my mom’s) wasn’t expensive and I told him beforehand that I was tight with money.

I know you’re wondering why I want to tell my mom. It’s because I don’t trust my brother anymore. He’s a liar and he has taken advantage of me financially 3 times. My mom is planning on buying a house with him and using all her savings for that. I feel like it’s risky and I hope my brother doesn’t take advantage of her like he has done with me. I don’t know if it’s better to let her know who my brother really is or just keep myself quiet and pretend that nothing happened. I just hope she doesn’t get screwed and not sure if I should warn her. He already lied to me by agreeing to cover part of mom’s meal and then lied to my mom too pretending that her meal was a gift from both of us.

Hi. In my family we have 2 birthdays the same month. Both my mom and dad have birthdays in May. So I have to celebrate 2 birthdays and also Mother’s Day.

Last weekend I took my mom out to eat for her birthday and my dad came along so I paid for both of them. I’m also planning on giving both of them a birthday gift which is a tour in Italy because they’re going there in July. I think I’m being fair with both of my parents.

Since it’s Mother’s Day and I’m already spending a lot, I was going to bring flowers or cookies from the bakery to my mom.
My brother messaged me yesterday saying that he thought maybe we could invite my mom out to eat along with my dad to celebrate Mother’s Day. Even if it sounds like a great idea, I really don’t want to spend a lot in 1 month. I’m also a little upset because my brother owes me money. He asked me to buy something for his kids about a month ago and told me he was going to pay me and he didn’t.

Now he wants me to spend for Mother’s Day and is surprised when I tell him I can’t spend a lot. He even questioned me asking why money was an issue. He should’ve mentioned something about the money he owed me instead of being shocked that I prefer to give a simple gift to my mom. He played dumb as if he didn’t owe me anything.
I know it shouldn’t be a big issue to take mom out to eat but it can get expensive with drinks, dessert, tip etc. I kind of feel like my brother just thinks I can spend money whenever he wants since I already spend on his kids last time. I don’t know how to explain to him that I’m on a tight budget. I’m not rich by any means.
AIO?

Hi. I just want to know what you think about something that happened to me about a month ago.
I’m childfree and my brother has 2 kids under the age of 10.

On Easter my brother asked me a last minute favor. He wanted me to buy easter baskets and fill them up with 3 small toys per kid. He wanted me to spend around $20 per kid so $40 in total. He did told me he was going to pay me back.

I did him the favor even though I had no plans to go out that day. I also did it to try to be a good aunt but I wasn’t sure if my brother was going to keep his word of paying back so I just spent $20 for both kids instead of $40. I didn’t want to risk spending more.

Then of course, my brother said he had bills pending and asked if I could wait for the money but he never paid me back. I asked some people their thoughts and a few people said I was being ridiculous over $20 dollars and telling me that families help each another out.
Honestly I never thought as an aunt I’m supposed to give money to my brother if he can’t buy a random toy for his kids. I’m not going to ask for my money back because it wasn’t a lot but I feel used by my brother and I’m kind of disappointed.
I know lending people money is never good but I never expected my own brother to use me as an ATM.

Hi. This will be a long post but I feel like this is the only sub where people could sympathize with me. I can’t share this with anyone because unfortunately my parents enable my brother.

About a month ago it was my brother’s birthday. He celebrated with the family but I couldn’t be there because I had to work that day. My plan was to go to his house and give him a gift card I bought him and bring a pizza to eat with him and his kids. I thought that was enough since I’m not super close to my brother anyway.

I ended up going to his house on Easter because he was available that day.
A few hours before he texted me asking if I could bring garlic bread besides the pizza because his kids like that. He told me he could pay me if I wanted since it was extra. I didn’t say anything about the money and just agreed. A few more dollars wasn’t going to hurt me.

Then 10 minutes later he texts me again and asks me if I can go to the store and buy Easter baskets and fill them up with 3 small toys for his 2 kids. He was even specific with the type of toys the kids liked. The girl likes Disney stuff and the boy likes superheroes. He said he could pay me for it.
I thought it was a big request since I wasn’t planning on going out and now I had to go shopping looking for these “special” gifts but I did it for my niece and nephew to try to be a good aunt.

I didn’t get anything too expensive because I wasn’t sure if my brother was going to keep his word and pay back. I spent $20 for both kids. It wasn’t too much but I wasn’t even planning on spending more besides what I had originally bought.

The day after visiting them, my brother ended up going back to the toy store with the receipt because the kids wanted something else. He told me he had to buy something more expensive for the kids because they wanted that. He asked if I could wait until he got his next paycheck because he had a lot of bills pending and even told me I could keep the gift card I bought him if I needed the money badly. WTF? 😳 I bought the gift card as a birthday present and it’s ungrateful that now he wanted me to keep it.

I swear I’m not making up this story. I just told him I’ll wait for his next paycheck but it’s been a month and he never paid me back. I don’t believe he doesn’t have money since he’s planning a vacation with his kids on summer. He just likes taking advantage of his sister and I can’t believe your own family will do this.
Am I wrong to think my brother is crazy and entitled?