u/PurpleClamp

Just acquired a silver kickstarter edition of the impossible instant lab for only $30. I want to do a conversion with it and feel like there are more possibilities than I am aware of. I know about it being used on Polaroid big shot, Mamiya RB/RZ67, and a couple other one off builds by option.8. I want to do the conversion completely on my own and I’m just looking for suggestions from the community on cameras that might accept this modification.

This subReddit is pretty active so I really hope I can get some responses on this. We have been together for basically 10 years. I keep making small issues into long drawn out arguments that end up lasting like an hour, when it could have just been 2 minutes if I’d just listen and apologize instead of defending myself and arguing.

Since it’s what is most fresh on the mind I’ll start with the argument that just ended. She put a lot of responsibility on her plate when it comes to planning for everything. Holidays, birthdays, weekend plans, groceries, etc.
So today she was feeling overwhelmed with how much she was handling this week and just wanted some help with what sounds good for lunch/dinner so that I can go grab groceries. I started asking her stupid questions that in hindsight I could’ve just answered on my own or ignored altogether like “do you want ideas for lunch plans first or dinner plans first?” Basically a string of unnecessary questions that just added to her stress and feelings of being overwhelmed and she got frustrated with me.

Now here is the problem, my problem. I cannot to save my life, slow my ADHD riddled brain down for long enough to put myself into her shoes and apologize for overloading her with crap she was JUST trying to pass off to me to help her out. Instead, I turn that one action of her getting frustrated into an hour long argument because in my head (then not now, I’ve chilled out now and can think rationally and this is what always happens) in that moment all I was trying to do was get more information from her so that I could help out to the best of my ability. It was a genuine attempt to start helping her but I ended up just adding stress. I wish I would have just apologized, recognized that she was overwhelmed and starting coming up with a plan for meals. Instead I am getting defensive and arguing about why she shouldn’t get annoyed with me if all I was trying to do was help.

I’m not great with words or communication so I feel like I’m not getting across what I’d like to on here. It really comes down to the fact that I am

1. Quick to be defensive
2. Slow to being empathetic
3. Quick to getting emotional (fuck you adhd I hate you so much)
4. Constantly turning the discussion into a me me me talk instead of the original point of it all aka her
5. When I try to make a genuine apology (let’s say 30min in) it either doesn’t come out how I want it to or I’m missing the point which then
6. Causes the whole cycle again or leads to more arguing. At this point I’m overwhelmed and emotional that I am trying to make things right but making them worse

I feel like such a failure of a partner and person to be honest. I try to slow down and work on responding appropriately or not being defensive. I read stuff, I journal, I watch videos, but when it come down to the moment of truth when I need to be a more empathetic partner and be less argumentative I always seem to fail. She reassures me that she doesn’t hate me and she wouldn’t continue those long arguments if she didn’t care but she argues because she wants me to be better. She wants to feel heard and cared for. Even with the reassurance I feel like I’m driving her away every time I do this. I feel like I’m not improving and I want to badly. I can’t afford therapy even though that is what I’d like more than anything to be honest. It’s driving down my self esteem like crazy, and after these arguments that are so pointless I feel so worthless and horrible. I’m so tired of failing her and failing myself. I want and need help so badly.

I don’t care if color options are limited or anything, I just want the most scratch resistant option that gets me as close as possible to OEM.