u/Queenofwands1212

This is a holiday that brings out the most loud, chaotic and obnoxious in them. A holiday of celebration and loud fireworks and drinking. As an introvert, the 4th of July is a war zone. I stay inside - I looked out my window and I just feel war energy. So I am bunkered the hell down in my apt. There’s something about this holiday that makes me feel uneasy and hyper vigilant. I don’t want people near me

While everyone is celebrating in chaos and playing with fireworks, drinking, yelling… I am literally BUNKERED DOWN in my apartment as if there is a war occurring outside. Because that’s what it feels like or us, there is a war happening outside.

I have been completely triggered, hyper fixating and obsessing with what I see in media about a certain pop star that I won’t name because i just need support so badly I don’t want my post to be removed. . This pop star is severely emaciated and has anorexia but is in complete denial and is gaslighting billions of people saying she is healthy. She’s touring and flaunting her emaciated body and it’s 10000% pro Ana behavior and it’s causjng such a crisis as she is a huge “idol” and holds the power to impression and influence billions of young people. I am in the same condition as her physically and just as sick as she is, So when I see the media suddenly saying she’s going to die it terrifies me, I have been spiraling in panic and anxiety because I am the same level of sick she is but no one around me is showing concern because well, I’m not famous and I have no one around me who even cares. No real friends, no family here. the damage she is causing billions of people is catastrophic and fatal. I go to the gym and walk each night and I can always see my reflection in the windows and I just compare my chest bones to her because she is posting pro Ana photos of her body checking. I am 5 months free of bulimia which is a huge accomplishment but now I am deeper in my anorexia than I have been since 2005- when the skinny crisis love journal tumblr pro Ana movement was at its peak. I almost died and had to go to treatment in 2005. Now I’m an adult, I am severely sick but i I hide it well, in zoom meetings I use a filter and people say I look beautiful but if they saw my chest and body they would be terrified. I have tried posting posts like this in Ed and anorexia subreddits but they are always taken down so I am at the end of my road here and I have no one around me who can understand this from an autism / adhd / ocd / ed perspective and it’s making me feel manic.
Any support would be greatly appreciated, I feel so alone in this and it’s driving me crazy

We have a woman who is severely in a mental illness of anorexia- and she is an “idol” in millions of people’s eyes- and she knows this. She is aware of how famous she is- which is all part of why this is such a severe problem. She is normalizing an emaciated body - lying to millions of people and the media and saying things like “she’s the healthiest she’s ever been”. So now she is telling millions of people that her emaciated underweight body that she flaunts is healthy. She is an influence to millions of people and she’s not taking accountability for that- she should want to be a healthy and positive role model but she is so deeply in her anorexia that she needs the high of the media obsessing about how emaciated she is. When someone takes on the role of an “idol” pop star- they also have the awareness that they hold power over 300+ million people, and with fame, comes responsibility to be a good role model. What she is doing is the pro Ana movement times 100000 and she’s completely aware of it, she doesn’t care. Chest bones like hers do not show in someone who is nourished. You have to be in a severe deficit and malnourishment for bones to show in this way. She has severe muscle wasting and she is literally picking clothing to flaunt her most emaciated parts of her body. We are in a crisis of ozempic and weight loss obsession- and she is an idol who is leading this crisis and creating an image that being emaciated is healthy and fine and normal. She needs to be cancelled completely- she will be the cause of a FATAL uprise of anorexia which is the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. Shame on her, shame on everyone involved. She needs to be put into an inpatient facility and taken off all platforms of social media.

We have a woman who is severely in a mental illness of anorexia- and she is an “idol” in millions of people’s eyes- and she knows this. She is aware of how famous she is- which is all part of why this is such a severe problem. She is normalizing an emaciated body - lying to millions of people and the media and saying things like “she’s the healthiest she’s ever been”. So now she is telling millions of people that her emaciated underweight body that she flaunts is healthy. She is an influence to millions of people and she’s not taking accountability for that- she should want to be a healthy and positive role model but she is so deeply in her anorexia that she needs the high of the media obsessing about how emaciated she is. When someone takes on the role of an “idol” pop star- they also have the awareness that they hold power over 300+ million people, and with fame, comes responsibility to be a good role model. What she is doing is the pro Ana movement times 100000 and she’s completely aware of it, she doesn’t care. Chest bones like hers do not show in someone who is nourished. You have to be in a severe deficit and malnourishment for bones to show in this way. She has severe muscle wasting and she is literally picking clothing to flaunt her most emaciated parts of her body. We are in a crisis of ozempic and weight loss obsession- and she is an idol who is leading this crisis and creating an image that being emaciated is healthy and fine and normal. She needs to be cancelled completely- she will be the cause of a FATAL uprise of anorexia which is the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. Shame on her, shame on everyone involved. She needs to be put into an inpatient facility and taken off all platforms of social media.

There’s tons of videos that have been posted the last week after her first shows on tour- her chest bones are fully protruding and she is more emaciated than she’s ever been. Context - I am over 4 months free of bulimia but I am deep in my anorexia right now- it’s worse than ever and I am short like her and probably weigh less but I have more muscle - although everyone may carry weight and muscle differently - I look at all of the photos and videos of her and I feel like I’m looking at myself. And now everyone is finally coming out saying she is severely sick and going to die- and I am literally spiraling in my apartment so frightened that I am going to die- I already have been having panic and ocd about my health- I even postponed a surgery because I’m scared about my heart health. I’ve messaged my drs multiple times telling them I am very concerned about my health and that I need EKG and labs, still waiting for their fucking response. Now with all of this Ariana stuff in the media- I am comparing my body to hers- my ed is saying “well your chest bones aren’t AS defined and showing as hers”. Even though I know mine are fucking showing crazy and it scares me. I also am starting to look at photos of my body from last year when I was in the height of my bulimia/ Ana and somehow I feel like I have gained weight when in reality I am eating less and I am not over eating nd purging anymore. How is it possible that I’ve gained weight? It can’t be biologically possible. And even though I feel like I’m malnourished looking- no one around me has shown concern or said anything- even when I told my dr IN PERSON at the appt and told her I am not eating and I go days without eating- she didn’t think to order some tests ?? I’m just so triggered and dumbfounded. And seeing all of the Ariana stuff is scaring me because everyone is making it seem like she’s going to die tomorrow like Karen carpenter. Not sure what to do right now other than advocate with the dr and stop looking at content about her.

There’s tons of videos that have been posted the last week after her first shows on tour- her chest bones are fully protruding and she is more emaciated than she’s ever been. I am deep in my anorexia right now- it’s worse than ever and I am short like her and probably weigh less but I have more muscle - although everyone may carry weight and muscle differently - I look at all of the photos and videos of her and I feel like I’m looking at myself. And now everyone is finally coming out saying she is severely sick and going to die- and I am literally spiraling in my apartment so frightened that I am going to die- I already have been having panic and ocd about my health- I even postponed a surgery because I’m scared about my heart health. I’ve messaged my drs multiple times telling them I am very concerned about my health and that I need EKG and labs, still waiting for their fucking response. Now with all of this Ariana stuff in the media- I am comparing my body to hers- my ed is saying “well your chest bones aren’t AS defined and showing as hers”. Even though I know mine are fucking showing crazy and it scares me. I also am starting to look at photos of my body from last year when I was in the height of my bulimia/ Ana and somehow I feel like I have gained weight when in reality I am eating less and I am not over eating nd purging anymore. How is it possible that I’ve gained weight? It can’t be biologically possible. And even though I feel like I’m malnourished looking- no one around me has shown concern or said anything- even when I told my dr IN PERSON at the appt and told her I am not eating and I go days without eating- she didn’t think to order some tests ?? I’m just so triggered and dumbfounded. And seeing all of the Ariana stuff is scaring me because everyone is making it seem like she’s going to die tomorrow like Karen carpenter. Not sure what to do right now other than advocate with the dr and stop looking at content about her.

Has anyone gotten surgery while very underweight or malnourished ? I am freaking out . Everything online says anesthesia can cause death to patients with anorexia. I am deeper in my anorexia than I’ve been since 2005. I have lost weight my chest bones are prominent and that’s what scares me the most- heart and chest issues. I am literally about to just cancel my fucking surgery because I can’t deal with this fear and panic that i may die from surgery. Please I’m asking for some support and reassurance or I don’t know what the hell to do.