u/Reasonable-Rub7064

I don't usually post things like this. But I've been watching this situation for months and I can't stay quiet anymore.

A close friend of mine lost his brother, Sakhawat, not long ago. Sakhawat was one of those people you don't forget. quiet, sharp sense of humour, never a harsh word for anyone. I studied alongside him for 8 years. Not once did I hear him speak badly about a single person. He came from a family that left everything behind, moved from a remote area, and built their life with nothing but hard work and integrity. That's the kind of household this was. And sakhawat was fightinh rear type colon cancer for 4 years and documented some part of it here: https://www.instagram.com/sakhawatay/ .

His younger brother Sharafat is also so good and muture at yang age. coz i think he have seen alot stuff, coz idk how he handle all this with patiace fr. And now he is the sole responsible person in that family. He has major exams right now. That's the situation a grieving family, one son carrying everything, and he can't even fully process his loss because he's trying to hold the family together.

Here's what's happening.

A woman named Kainat Ansari that as get in tuch with him in june july after knowing about his cancer and he was in hopital uk, she was in usa, all intaction haopped on call mostly they met few times, and she has been using Sakhawat's name, his story, and content to build a public narrative on Instagram. She is actively collecting donations including USD from international followers, including people connected to Harvard using his identity and his memory as leverage.

The family has not authorized any of this. Not a single post. Not a single fundraiser. Not a single use of his name.

She has blocked the family. She has built a following around this story. And she is using the goodwill of people who genuinely loved Sakhawat or who are simply good-hearted people moved her narative and by grief to collect money.

The family does not want a public fight. They do not want legal chaos. Sharafat has exams. They are trying to survive right now, not go to war. But I could not watch this continue without at least documenting it and putting it in front of people who deserve to know.

I sat with Sharafat and convinced him to document everything. That document is here :

Full Documentation — Names, Timeline, Evidence

Her Instagram is here:

instagram.com/kainatannsari

What I'm asking from this community:

Always Good-hearted people are being used. That's what hurts most. People who follow her, who donate, who share her content they think they're honouring someone's memory. They're not. They're funding someone who blocked the actual family of the person she claims to represent.

If you've donated, please know that money did not reach Sakhawat's family.

If you follow her, please read the document before deciding whether to continue.

And if you believe, as I do, that using a dead person's identity and story without family consent to collect real money from real people is fraud please report her account on Instagram.

To report on Instagram:

1. Go to her profile → tap the three dots (⋯)
2. Select Report
3. Select "It's a scam or fraud" or "False information"

I'm not posting this for drama. I'm posting this because Sakhawat deserved better than to have his name used as a fundraising tool. His family deserves peace. And the people donating deserve the truth.

That's all.

Feel free to ask questions in the comments. I'll answer what I can. i will tell Sharafat about this post. Coz He asked me not to make things worse I'm trying to make things right at least i think i hope I'm not overreacting.

My older brother was the first graduate in our family and the first one to go abroad on scholarship after fighting a rare aggressive cancer for 2 years in Pakistan. During that time, we siblings became extremely close. We survived hospitals, stress, dark humor, hope, all of it together.

Before everything got worse, our family even made our first proper trip together to Islamabad. Hiking, Faisal Mosque, small moments. Those memories matter a lot now.

Later my brother went to the UK, but the cancer returned more aggressively. Doctors said only a couple people had that specific condition. While he was there, he tried to invite me so I could spend time with him during treatment because we handled everything together emotionally. My visa got rejected. Then rejected again. That still haunts me because I never got to properly be there for him before he passed away.

There’s another complicated part too. One influencer girl connected to his story started sharing parts of it online and grew quickly from it. There were family pressures, misunderstandings, and emotional drama around marriage discussions and support during his illness. I don’t even want to attack anyone publicly. I’m just tired of performative people around pain and loss.

Now I genuinely want to restart life a bit.

I want to travel somewhere affordable first. Maybe Sri Lanka, Turkey, Bali, Singapore, or somewhere realistic for a Pakistani passport holder. Not luxury travel. Just something meaningful that helps me breathe again, build travel history, possibly meet real people who help him in uk without darama , and slowly open opportunities internationally.

If anyone here:
• knows genuine travel agents
• understands Pakistani visa/travel struggles
• knows affordable countries with easier visas
• has scholarship, volunteering, creator, or networking advice
• or simply has practical guidance

I’d honestly appreciate it.

I’m planning to start within the next few months if possible.

My father is 60. He’s slowing down physically, and my mother has started a narrative that he is "lazy" and "did nothing" for us. She claims her brothers and her own hard work are the only reason we survived. But there is a much deeper, sadder story here that my siblings and mom are ignoring.
The Background:
My father’s life was shaped by duty, not love. His mother died when he was young, and he was raised by a stepmother in a home where he felt unwanted. He spent his youth staying out of the house because nobody asked him to come home. Then, my grandfather forced him into a cousin marriage just to maintain his "aura" and status among relatives.
My father never chose this life. Because he grew up without a mother or a loving home, he lacks basic social skills. I’ve had to privately teach him things like not making noise while eating—things a parent usually teaches a child.
The Emotional Gap:
Because he was never shown love, he didn't know how to show it to us. He was distant. We grew up jealous because he would show warmth to other people’s kids but not his own. After the marriage, he found a female friend—the only person he seemingly ever truly connected with. When they stopped talking, I saw him cry over the phone. He found love, lost it, and is still looking for it outside because he doesn't know how to find it with us.
The Crisis:
Now that he’s 60 and can’t provide like he used to, my mom is bitter. My siblings are "mentally fucked up" because they feel they have to choose my mother's side and view Dad as a burden.
I want them to understand that everyone makes mistakes. My father isn't "lazy"—he is a man who was never mentored, never loved, and forced into a life he didn't choose. He did the work he could, even if it wasn't enough for my mother's standards.
My Goal:
As the oldest brother left, I want to lead my family toward acceptance. How do I help my mother and siblings see the "human" in my father instead of the "provider"? How do I support a father who is searching for love everywhere except home?