u/RelativeOk8475

i’m 19 (closeted mtf) at least i think im trans but i soooo scared that i would start medically or even socially transitioning and i wont like it. Some people have said that exploring your gender identity is just a part of life even if you de-trans it was worth it to know but like that still terrifies me, why aren’t other people having these thoughts about gender i don’t want to embarrass myself I just want to know what i am 😣

i just feel like a crazy person why would i be trans i have always like being feminine but like im a boy why do i feel like this i just wish i didn’t have these thoughts. Why are these thoughts so consuming i think about what my life would be like as a girl for like 50% of the day i feel like no one should think about your gender this much. have i just gone crazy and developed some gender based ocd i just wish i could know if i was actually trans or not

i’m 19 and a closeted trans girl i literally think about transitioning 40% of the day and just wish i was a girl but i just can’t get myself to come out i have this constant feeling in the back of my head that transitioning would ruin my life and how all my friends and family see me it gives me so much anxiety i wish every day that someone would just come up to me and tell me they know and want to help me. How did you guys gain the courage to come out or the confidence to know what you want is the right choice

i wanna boy mode with a feminine flair and i want to start wearing more girly tops but not get cooked instantly at the same time any suggestions?

I (MTF19) came out to my gf (a cis woman) like a year ago and she was super accepting and said she would be there with me no matter what as long as she’s still attracted to me. she’s bi so i’m hoping she’ll still be attracted to me on hrt but her being so accepting kind of scared me honestly and i kinda backtracked and said idk yet (if im trans) and basically im looking for ways to express myself femininely to her and basically not scare her yk. I don’t want to just start wearing a full beat and be like so how do u like this I’m just looking for ways i can be more feminine while still also being closeted to the rest of the world i guess. Because i haven’t had a chance to experiment with my femininity in the proximity of anyone else i just want to ease into it and not scare her or myself. im just looking for small things that could acclimate her to me presenting more and more feminine

I (MTF19) came out to my gf (a cis woman) like a year ago and she was super accepting and said she would be there with me no matter what as long as she’s still attracted to me. she’s bi so i’m hoping she’ll still be attracted to me on hrt but her being so accepting kind of scared me honestly and i kinda backtracked and said idk yet (if im trans) and basically im looking for ways to express myself femininely to her and basically not scare her yk. I don’t want to just start wearing a full beat and be like so how do u like this I’m just looking for ways i can be more feminine while still also being closeted to the rest of the world i guess. Because i haven’t had a chance to experiment with my femininity in the proximity of anyone else i just want to ease into it and not scare her or myself. Every other sub is saying just tell her but that’s literally not what i’m looking for im looking for small things that can help her get used to me presenting more fem.

I (MTF19) came out to my gf (afab19) like a year ago and she was super accepting and said she would be there with me no matter what as long as she’s still attracted to me. she’s bi so i’m hoping she’ll still be attracted to me on hrt but her being so accepting kind of scared me honestly and i kinda backtracked and said idk yet (if im trans) and basically im looking for ways to express myself femininely to her and basically not scare her yk. I don’t want to just start wearing a full beat and be like so how do u like this I’m just looking for ways i can be more feminine while still also being closeted to the rest of the world i guess. Because i haven’t had a chance to experiment with my femininity in the proximity of anyone else i just want to ease into it and not scare her or myself.

I (MTF19) came out to my gf (afab19) like a year ago and she was super accepting and said she would be there with me no matter what as long as she’s still attracted to me. she’s bi so i’m hoping she’ll still be attracted to me on hrt but her being so accepting kind of scared me honestly and i kinda backtracked and said idk yet (if im trans) and basically im looking for ways to express myself femininely to her and basically not scare her yk. I don’t want to just start wearing a full beat and be like so how do u like this I’m just looking for ways i can be more feminine while still also being closeted to the rest of the world i guess. Because i haven’t had a chance to experiment with my femininity in the proximity of anyone else i just want to ease into it and not scare her or myself.

I (MTF19) came out to my gf (afab19) like a year ago and she was super accepting and said she would be there with me no matter what as long as she’s still attracted to me. she’s bi so i’m hoping she’ll still be attracted to me on hrt but her being so accepting kind of scared me honestly and i kinda backtracked and said idk yet (if im trans) and basically im looking for ways to express myself femininely to her and basically not scare her yk. I don’t want to just start wearing a full beat and be like so how do u like this I’m just looking for ways i can be more feminine while still also being closeted to the rest of the world i guess. Because i haven’t had a chance to experiment with my femininity in the proximity of anyone else i just want to ease into it and not scare her or myself.

For the sake of this story, I’m going to tell it from the perspective I had when I was younger.

When I was in elementary school, there was a kid in the grade above me named Dorian. Dorian played with dolls, and if I remember correctly, they carried a Barbie rolling backpack to school. I was probably in kindergarten or first grade at the time. My older sister was in Dorian’s class, which is why I still remember their name so clearly.

Back then, Dorian was just another kid to everyone else, but to me, there was something different about them. I admired their confidence, even if I didn’t fully understand why at the time. They hung out with all the girls the same way I secretly wished I could.

At home, my sister and her friends would sometimes “force” me to wear makeup for fun, but honestly, I loved it. I couldn’t get enough of it. Any time the girls included me, I was thrilled.

After a year or two, we moved schools, but I always remembered Dorian.

Years later, my sister told me that Dorian had transitioned. Honestly, it wasn’t surprising at all. Hearing that filled me with warmth because it meant she had embraced her true self.

I’ve been thinking about Dorian a lot lately. I still haven’t come out to my family, and if I’m being real, I only recently fully realized that I’m trans myself. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t envious of her courage. Dorian took that leap from day one, while I’m only now beginning to understand myself.

Dorian, if you ever see this: you’re a queen and an inspiration to me. We barely knew each other, but you’ve helped me through so much introspection without even realizing it.