u/Remarkable_Net6919

Hi guys. Gusto ko lang sana humingi ng advice.

14 years na akong nagtatrabaho and this is honestly the first time na na-experience ko yung ganito. Hindi ako perfect employee, alam kong may mga kailangan pa akong matutunan, pero never ko na-feel before na parang nawalan ako ng confidence sa sarili ko.

Probationary pa lang, sobrang pinush ko sarili ko. Nakapasa naman ako sa revalida, naregular ako, at okay naman yung evaluation ko. Pero habang tumatagal, parang pakiramdam ko wala na akong ginagawang tama.

May mga remarks yung boss ko na hanggang ngayon tumatak talaga sakin. One time tinawag niya akong “manang.” Ang masakit, may officemate pa na nagtanong kung sino yung “manang,” tapos ang sagot niya, “Ayun oh si *.” Simula nun parang sobrang bumaba confidence ko.

May mga comments din na “Sobrang basic nito.” at “Hindi ka nag-iimprove.” Alam kong part ng trabaho ang feedback, pero iba yung dating kapag halos araw-araw parang feeling mo kulang ka. Dumating sa point na bawat email, bawat report, bawat decision ino-overthink ko na kasi takot akong magkamali.

Ang turning point talaga para sakin yung napahiya na ako ng mismong boss ko. After nun, hindi ko na siya halos matingnan sa mata. Para akong naglalakad sa eggshells araw-araw. Kahit simpleng Teams message, kinakabahan na ako.

Recently nagkaroon kami ng one-on-one kamustahan with our department head. Tinanong niya ako kung ano yung impact sakin. Dun ko lang talaga na-realize na nawalan pala ako ng confidence, bumagal ako magtrabaho kasi ino-overthink ko lahat, at parang natatakot na akong mag-decide. Sabi naman niya kilala niya yung boss ko at tingin niya “he meant well,” pero hindi naman niya ininvalidate yung naramdaman ko.

Kahapon naman, first time kong magpatingin sa psychiatrist. Na-diagnose ako with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Hindi ko alam kung epekto ba ng gamot o ng lahat ng nangyari nitong mga nakaraang buwan, pero first time sa buong 14 years kong nagtatrabaho na umabot ako sa point na umiiyak ako dahil sa trabaho, sumasakit dibdib ko, hirap huminga, at pakiramdam ko worthless na ako.

Hindi ko alam kung anxiety lang ba ’to kaya gusto ko nang umalis, o valid na bang umalis kapag ganito na yung epekto ng trabaho sa mental health mo.
May naka-experience na ba ng ganito? Nag-stay ba kayo at naging okay eventually, o mas gumaan nung umalis na kayo?

Ayoko sana gumawa ng impulsive decision, lalo na kakastart ko pa lang ng treatment. Pero honestly, hindi ko na alam kung kaya ko pa bumalik sa dating ako.

Kaya ako nag patingin na ksi sobrang dami na ngyyri sa buhay ko. Dumagdag pa yung pang lalait ng boss ko. Every presentation sya at nandun sya pakiramdam ko gigil sya sakin na develop yung extreme na pag hinga naririnig nya and ng colleagues ko minsan ung breathing considering Jabra ung head set. Na coconscious ako kapag na ccall out ako.

Maganda yung company.. isa sa top qsr corps pero parang nasira na yung tingin ko sa company na to. Pumasok ako na confident. Lalabas akong durog gnito ung pakiramdam.

I came to PAO QC today, with my sworn affidavit, printed evidences and requirements.

I mentioned abandonment, after my husband (35M) admitted to having an affair and documented 3 instances of parental alienation with my eldest, lawyer said maybe my child was just being influenced in school? Huh?

Then he will pick up my kids again this sunday and when they get home there were packages of ill advise again. Like a ticking bomb na im hoping will not happen in school.

Then what advice, mediation? I recently invited my husband in the barangay for second mediation no prin. 3 years worth of psychological counseling and printed evidence, meditation is PAO’s best advise?

I am married 35F but have been separated from my husband 35M for several years. We have two minor children and they are living with me.

I consulted a PAO lawyer regarding a possible VAWC case involving economic abuse and psychological abuse. I was advised to wait until the respondent completely stops providing financial support before pursuing the case.

My concern is that because of this advice, I feel like I am left vulnerable to ongoing manipulation. While he still provides some support, there are recurring issues involving financial pressure, control over expenses, accusations, and communications that I find emotionally distressing.

My question is:

Is complete non-support a requirement before filing a VAWC complaint based on economic abuse and psychological violence? Or can a complaint still be evaluated if support is being provided but there are allegations of coercive control, manipulation, intimidation, or other abusive conduct?

I am in the Philippines and would appreciate insights from lawyers or anyone familiar with VAWC cases.

I was already asked to submit the sworn affidavit, BIR 2316 and Cert of indigency.

I have a lawyer already reviewing this pero he cannot represent me since he is my cousin. Evidences of financial manip are in email after I discovered him cheating on me again.

Evidences are email trails, text messages, name and address of the other woman based on the lalamove deliveries sent to her and witnesses (though im not sure all of them will agree to testify) been going back and forth to counselling and a credit card debt because of previously my salary cant keep up with the household expenses but now I have 2 jobs and hoping it can pay off.

Please help.

Thank you.

If you’ve ever rebuilt your life after losing your marriage, family relationships, confidence, and sense of self. Alam ko kung paano before pero iba ngayon. All these happened within 3 years. Sunod sunod.

Pagod na pagod na ako.

35F, single-handedly raising 2 kids after my husband left our marital home years ago. Since then, I’ve been juggling work, parenting, financial responsibilities, legal/co-parenting issues, and trying to heal from family problems that go back to childhood. Nambabae ang asawa ko ng paulit ulit.

Recently, I lost my relationship with my sister after conflicts involving our mother. My father and I have been estranged for years. I feel like every time I try to set boundaries, I end up losing people. Nambabae ang tatay ko paulit ulit.

My co-parenting situation is stressful because schedules are sometimes discussed directly with my children instead of through me, which leaves them confused and anxious.

At work, I’m struggling too. I’m scared of making mistakes, scared of being judged, and lately I’ve been feeling like I’m not good enough no matter how hard I try. I have a boss who is perfectionist, extreme and harsh. Hindi na ako makagalaw baway galaw puna. First time ko na experience in my almost 14 years in the corporate world

Tonight, I realized that aside from my kids, I don’t really feel like I have anyone I can talk to. I spend most of my time being strong for everyone else, but I’m exhausted.

Hindi ko alam kung burnout ba ito, depression, grief, loneliness, or all of the above. I just know that I’m tired and I wish life would stop hurting this much.

Hindi ko na alam ano ba dapat kong maramdaman anymore and I think I really need help processing everything.

3 years ago, iniwan kami ng husband ko and ng mga anak ko after I caught him cheating. He refused any discussion about reconciliation. Parang bigla nalang siyang nag disconnect sa pamilya namin. Sobrang nasaktan ako pero pinilit ko mag survive para sa mga anak ko.

Then last year, nahuli naman si daddy ko na nag cheat.

Ang pinaka naguguluhan ako is sa mommy ko. Nung una, sobrang devastated siya kasi naloko rin siya. Siya pa mismo dati yung nag aadvice sakin na wag habulin husband ko and that I should move on already. Pero eventually nakipag reconcile siya kay daddy, tapos nag cheat ulit si daddy after that. Naging toxic yung bahay. Sigawan, murahan, kalabugan ng gamit. Naririnig lahat ng mga anak ko.

For 2 years, nakatira kami ng mga anak ko sa bahay ng parents ko kasi honestly hindi pa enough yung salary ko para bumukod agad.

Tahimik lang ako most of the time habang nag aaway sila, pero one day hindi ko na kinaya and sumagot na ako kasi pinagtatanggol ko si mommy.

Ang ending, ako pala yung ayaw na nandun.

May one time kinausap ako ng mommy ko habang naka loudspeaker si daddy with my sister beside him. May kutob na ako that time. Eventually nalaman ko nalang na pinapaalis na pala kami ng mga anak ko because ayaw daw umuwi ni daddy habang nandun kami sa bahay.

That broke me.

So umalis kami.

Pagkaalis namin, parang lahat ng old wounds ko nag resurface. Naalala ko yung time na tinutukan ako ng nanay ko ng baril point blank sa mukha when I was 9 years old. Simula bata ako, ang taas ng tingin ko sa parents ko despite everything, pero ngayon parang gumuho lahat.

Since then, emotionally nag shut down ako sa kanila. Hinahatid ko pa rin mga anak ko if gusto nila makita grandparents nila, pero ako mismo hindi na pumupunta sa bahay.

Ngayon, galit sakin mga kapatid ko kasi ang tigas ko daw and bakit hindi ko mapatawad parents ko. Lagi nilang sinasabi na nilamon daw ako ng galit. Tinawag pa akong narcissist because I chose to distance myself.

Pero ilang beses ko na inexplain na hindi naman ito about revenge or hatred anymore.

Wala na talaga akong tiwala.

Every time I try to explain my side, parang walang nakikinig. Parang ang gusto nila maging okay nalang ako agad because “pamilya pa rin.”

I recently booked counseling kasi hindi na talaga kaya ng dibdib ko yung bigat. Apektado na rin trabaho ko and even my relationship with my siblings. One of my sisters even cut me off after we argued about this.

Hindi ko na talaga alam.

Masama ba akong tao for choosing distance after everything that happened, kahit magulang ko sila?

There is a written agreement with their father that visitation is once a week. After two years, they started changing the arrangements, and based on the pattern now, discussions about schedules are being directed to my children instead of being handled between the adults.

I’ve already discussed this with my child’s counsellor, and I was advised that children should not be the ones negotiating or agreeing on visitation schedules.

I also spoke with my eldest and told him that if it happens again, he can gently say that his mom and dad should be the ones discussing schedules. However, my mother-in-law still proceeded to get “approval” from my 7-year-old regarding changes.

Honestly, I am getting tired of these people. Ive been documenting hundreds of emails from their father and this is draining. I really need help and advise.