need some feedback on something i wrote. be kind pls :)

\*\*Too Late\*\*
\*\*Verse 1\*\*

Can’t believe it’s too late to say I love you
You’re gone now, and oh, how I feel blue
Hoped I could see your smile again
I love it now and I loved it then
Didn’t want it to end this way
I still remember you every day

\*\*Verse 2\*\*

Did you know I named my pet after you?
Just so I’d have a reason to remember you too
I know that it’s been years
But I still feel like you’re here
I wish we had more time
I really wanted you to be mine

\*\*Chorus\*\*

It’s too late now to say that I love you
I said it in my head, but I waited too long
And I still can’t believe that you’re really gone
Now it’s too late to hold you once more
Or sit and talk with you like we did before
Laughing about our past, wishing it could last
Only to remember that those moments have passed

 

\*\*Verse 3\*\*

We used to go to the club and dance until dawn
I never cared how I looked when I was with you all along
I loved every moment I spent with you
Couldn’t imagine my life before I ever knew you

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u/Remote-Scholar2778 — 1 day ago

need some feedback on something i wrote. be kind pls :)

**Too Late**
**Verse 1**

Can’t believe it’s too late to say I love you
You’re gone now, and oh, how I feel blue
Hoped I could see your smile again
I love it now and I loved it then
Didn’t want it to end this way
I still remember you every day

**Verse 2**

Did you know I named my pet after you?
Just so I’d have a reason to remember you too
I know that it’s been years
But I still feel like you’re here
I wish we had more time
I really wanted you to be mine

**Chorus**

It’s too late now to say that I love you
I said it in my head, but I waited too long
And I still can’t believe that you’re really gone
Now it’s too late to hold you once more
Or sit and talk with you like we did before
Laughing about our past, wishing it could last
Only to remember that those moments have passed

 

**Verse 3**

We used to go to the club and dance until dawn
I never cared how I looked when I was with you all along
I loved every moment I spent with you
Couldn’t imagine my life before I ever knew you

reddit.com
u/Remote-Scholar2778 — 1 day ago
▲ 1 r/SongWriter+1 crossposts

Hii Second time writing lyrics. feedbacks are very much welcomed. pls be kind as always:)

Verse 1

Records playin' on a Sunday morning
Makes me wanna get up and sing
Smell the freshly brewed coffee
I’m feelin' happy
I’m gonna love this day, you’ll see

Verse 2

The sun is shining
I wanna keep on vibing
I’m hoping that this day will keep on getting better
Nothing’s stopping me now, ’cause every day is a red-letter day

Chorus

I’m having a good day
Nothing is gonna get me down
Not me, no, I’m not gonna frown
Feeling my best and forgetting the rest

Verse 3

Leavin' behind all the drama
And getting past all of the trauma
Walking down the street, lookin' all glad
I bet when my haters see me, they’ll be all mad

Chorus

I’m having a good day
Nothing is gonna get me down
Not me, no, I’m not gonna frown
Feeling my best and forgetting the rest

 

reddit.com
u/Remote-Scholar2778 — 4 days ago

First time writing short story. pls be kind with feedbacks :)

**Little Charlie** 

There was once a little puppy named Charlie. Charlie was always playing with his owner's son, Ethan. Charlie and Ethan would play together, watch movies together, and even sing together. This made Charlie feel like the luckiest puppy in the world.

Until one day, while they were playing tag, Ethan suddenly got sick. After that day, Ethan would go to the hospital with his parents for routine checkups. Charlie never understood why Ethan didn't have the energy to play with him anymore, but he still never left Ethan's side.

Then, one afternoon, Charlie overheard Ethan's parents saying that Ethan might be leaving soon to a place called Heaven. Charlie didn't know where Heaven was, but what he did know was that his best friend was leaving.

So, every day, Charlie would cuddle up with Ethan and just lie on his lap, hoping that Ethan would never leave.

Then came a day when Charlie was outside. He asked a passing dog for some advice about Ethan. He asked the older dog, "What can I do to stop my friend from leaving?"

The other dog then replied, "There's a big house down the street where wishes are granted."

Charlie, filled with hope, asked, "Can you take me there?"

"Sure! I'm going there myself," said the other dog happily. "My name is Maisie, by the way," she added.

"I'm Charlie," Charlie replied.

So Maisie and Charlie both went down the street, hoping for the magical place to grant their heart's desires.

When they finally got there, Charlie turned to Maisie and asked, "What now?"

Maisie answered, "Now we go into the house and quietly say what we want to the statue. I heard that's what the people here do."

"Okay," said Charlie happily.

After saying their wishes, Charlie again turned to Maisie and asked, "What did you wish for?"

Maisie then turned to Charlie and sadly said, "I wished for a new home."

"Why didn't you tell me that earlier?" Charlie said, chuckling. "You can stay with us," Charlie continued.

"Really?" Maisie asked cautiously.

"Of course!" Charlie said enthusiastically. "Ethan is gonna love you!"

"Let's get back, then," Maisie said happily.

When they got back to the house, Charlie went inside with Maisie.

"I still can't believe it!" exclaimed Ethan's mom.

"I know. But what matters is that Ethan is okay now. He is not leaving us," said Ethan's dad.

Maisie and Charlie, having overheard this, looked at each other.

"Did you hear that?" asked Maisie.

"Yes, I did," Charlie said, his voice shaking a bit. "Ethan is staying."

But before they could celebrate, both parents saw Maisie.

"Hey there, girl," said Ethan's mom. "Is this a friend of yours, Charlie?" she asked.

"No collar," said Ethan's dad.

"We did say we wanted another dog for Ethan," said Ethan's mom while smiling at both Maisie and Charlie.

And that's the end of the story.

reddit.com
u/Remote-Scholar2778 — 4 days ago

First time writing. Feel free to give feedback but pls be kind. :)

**Pretend**

Verse 1:

I guess we’ve been playing pretend for a while now

Again, I was left hurt don’t feel like I could smile again somehow

I know that I hurt you first by saying things carelessly

But you still pretended to be my friend and played it off as if it was all okay you see

I knew I was in the wrong and was sorry

And you talked about me behind my back and acted all high and mighty

Verse 2:

How were you so good at acting as if everything was alright?

Why am I the only one hurt? It just doesn’t seem right

Had I known you were this good of a liar

I would’ve been more prepared for this friendship to end

Maybe I wouldn’t haven’t gotten hurt and stopped caring that it was all just pretend

 

Chorus:

You played the friend role so well

You should be in a play or in goddamn movie from hell

You said I was a bitch and it was classic

But this is coming from someone so unbelievably plastic

 

 

Verse 3:

I cried over a friendship that was so toxic

My God I can’t believe I was actually sad about it

Took me long to get over it

But now I’m so happy it’s over because you were just a piece of shit

 

Chorus…

reddit.com
u/Remote-Scholar2778 — 4 days ago
▲ 3 r/writingcritiques+1 crossposts

First time writing short story. pls be kind with feedbacks :)

Little Charlie 

There was once a little puppy named Charlie. Charlie was always playing with his owner's son, Ethan. Charlie and Ethan would play together, watch movies together, and even sing together. This made Charlie feel like the luckiest puppy in the world.

Until one day, while they were playing tag, Ethan suddenly got sick. After that day, Ethan would go to the hospital with his parents for routine checkups. Charlie never understood why Ethan didn't have the energy to play with him anymore, but he still never left Ethan's side.

Then, one afternoon, Charlie overheard Ethan's parents saying that Ethan might be leaving soon to a place called Heaven. Charlie didn't know where Heaven was, but what he did know was that his best friend was leaving.

So, every day, Charlie would cuddle up with Ethan and just lie on his lap, hoping that Ethan would never leave.

Then came a day when Charlie was outside. He asked a passing dog for some advice about Ethan. He asked the older dog, "What can I do to stop my friend from leaving?"

The other dog then replied, "There's a big house down the street where wishes are granted."

Charlie, filled with hope, asked, "Can you take me there?"

"Sure! I'm going there myself," said the other dog happily. "My name is Maisie, by the way," she added.

"I'm Charlie," Charlie replied.

So Maisie and Charlie both went down the street, hoping for the magical place to grant their heart's desires.

When they finally got there, Charlie turned to Maisie and asked, "What now?"

Maisie answered, "Now we go into the house and quietly say what we want to the statue. I heard that's what the people here do."

"Okay," said Charlie happily.

After saying their wishes, Charlie again turned to Maisie and asked, "What did you wish for?"

Maisie then turned to Charlie and sadly said, "I wished for a new home."

"Why didn't you tell me that earlier?" Charlie said, chuckling. "You can stay with us," Charlie continued.

"Really?" Maisie asked cautiously.

"Of course!" Charlie said enthusiastically. "Ethan is gonna love you!"

"Let's get back, then," Maisie said happily.

When they got back to the house, Charlie went inside with Maisie.

"I still can't believe it!" exclaimed Ethan's mom.

"I know. But what matters is that Ethan is okay now. He is not leaving us," said Ethan's dad.

Maisie and Charlie, having overheard this, looked at each other.

"Did you hear that?" asked Maisie.

"Yes, I did," Charlie said, his voice shaking a bit. "Ethan is staying."

But before they could celebrate, both parents saw Maisie.

"Hey there, girl," said Ethan's mom. "Is this a friend of yours, Charlie?" she asked.

"No collar," said Ethan's dad.

"We did say we wanted another dog for Ethan," said Ethan's mom while smiling at both Maisie and Charlie.

And that's the end of the story.

reddit.com
u/Remote-Scholar2778 — 5 days ago
▲ 0 r/SongwritingHelp+2 crossposts

First time writing. Feel free to give feedback but pls be kind. :)

Pretend

Verse 1:

I guess we’ve been playing pretend for a while now

Again, I was left hurt don’t feel like I could smile again somehow

I know that I hurt you first by saying things carelessly

But you still pretended to be my friend and played it off as if it was all okay you see

I knew I was in the wrong and was sorry

And you talked about me behind my back and acted all high and mighty

Verse 2:

How were you so good at acting as if everything was alright?

Why am I the only one hurt? It just doesn’t seem right

Had I known you were this good of a liar

I would’ve been more prepared for this friendship to end

Maybe I wouldn’t haven’t gotten hurt and stopped caring that it was all just pretend

 

Chorus:

You played the friend role so well

You should be in a play or in goddamn movie from hell

You said I was a bitch and it was classic

But this is coming from someone so unbelievably plastic

 

 

Verse 3:

I cried over a friendship that was so toxic

My God I can’t believe I was actually sad about it

Took me long to get over it

But now I’m so happy it’s over because you were just a piece of shit

 

Chorus…

reddit.com
u/Remote-Scholar2778 — 4 days ago