u/ReplexBoi

Reality is Infinite; anything imagined is actual, but it's not actual where it's imagined, and it’s not imaginary where it's actualized.

The difference between imagination and actuality is itself contained within the set called imagination. The difference, as imagination, is unified with actuality in the present, but the key is that it's actual as imagination, since that is what it actually is. If you observe carefully, everything you believe about reality is technically imaginary, and yet, the truth is what is actual, functioning as awareness in the most immediate sense, but functioning also as that which you are aware of (AKA reality) in a seemingly less immediate sense. It all unifies in the present.

Last night, we celebrated the life of the dead living legend, Jacob Antonio Vasquez Jr, who passed away over a month ago due to cancer. His whole family threw a party because that's what he said he wanted us to do when he died. And before I begin yapping I just want to give some context: We were very close. He was literally my only best friend and one of the only people I ever hung out with. So his death was such an amazing opportunity for learning from acceptance.

This mf legend is my best friend and he is exactly where he's meant to be. Not past tense. I miss him, but the pain teaches that sometimes what seems lacking can only be found within. So I could either find my best friend within, or not find him at all.

Jacob might seem to be missing in the world, but he lives on in the present where all of existence is at. To me at this point there's just no conceivable way that he is actually 'gone'😂. Because I know who he is, not what I could think him to be. and he was not an everchanging body or mind. He is changelessness. This changelessness! The only one! It never changes, but it also includes all possibilities (which includes every appearance of change).

Something that I just confronted a few minutes ago is that I really miss those long ass drives we used to go on together. Isn't that amazing? I miss it! And it feels amazing to sit here and sadly bawl my eyes out with no holding back whatsoever! Which is very confusing. I know this might seem like coping, but I also have a very strong intuition that we’ll go for another drive again one day. But instead of driving through the mountains, through the stars instead. Simply because we can. I have no evidence that that experience will definitely occur.

Anyways, what's been striking me about the grief is that it's just so beautiful. I was crying my eyes out confronting that sense of missing my best friend. but the pain is just so damn beautiful that it's basically tears of joy but also sadness but it's like the sadness is able to be seen in love because when you accept it you realize that pain and joy don't even contradict each other. Not really. like, even just the bare fact that it's possible to experience so much pain and loss is already itself a call for joy, but only when the pain is accepted as what it is. And not only that, the old thought system that I'm so used to using tells me that the feeling of joy contradicts sadness, which causes the experience to seem confusing. I assume this old thought system will eventually fade as it's replaced by the newer one but to be honest this whole seeking thing is kind of starting to feel pointless and I would really rather just not feel the need to use any thought system, new or old.

Sorry for yapping. I figured I should post this here because nobody irl is grieving in even remotely similar ways as me, so I got no one out here to relate to. And I'm definitely not trying to be that one guy who tries to convince everyone of something when they're going through it. So I'd really just like to discuss this with others who might know what I'm on about. Or maybe my experience is super weird even for people who are awakened or whatever. I really don't know, and would love for yall's thoughts.

The difference between imagination and actuality

A cool sentence I wrote