u/RevolutionaryBill646

I (29F) was sent to another country last May for 2 weeks for work. On my 2nd week I met this man (34M. He's married and I'm in an 8yr relationship with my bf. When I was there, there wasn't anything inappropriate at all. He took me out to dinner sometimes with another member and sometimes just the 2 of us. We became close on my 2nd week there and ​on my last day we went out sightseeing together and we had an emotional goodbye. We had a goodbye hug. While I was in the airport, we didn't stop messaging and talking on the phone. He ended up confessing to me that he likes me.

I didn't actually like him back as a person but I loved the feeling of being liked. I felt giddy and had butterflies and it was so nice to be liked by someone.

He's living separately with his wife because he's working in the city and she's working in her hometown which is 12 hrs away. He said she can't find work in the city and he said the salary is only half of what he's getting if he works in his hometown. He hasn't gone home to her for 6 months.

I was very emotional leaving the country. It was my 1st time being by myself, having my own room, and being independent. And I met him. He said that we have a connection in our souls. We kept talking even when I was back in my country. I wrote poems about us meeting but not being fated together. It was beautiful for me. Meeting someone you had a connection with but all the circumstances were wrong.

At first, there was only missing each other. He tried to request for me to be sent back there and I really wanted to go back. I wanted another week with him just to be together. But it failed. So I can't go back anymore. His messages and calls became more and more sexual.

So there was a misalignment. Me missing him because I liked talking to him. I enjoyed hearing his laughter and seeing him smile when he sees me. Him desiring me so much physically. He says he really wants to have sex with me. I said even if we meet again, we can't because I've promised myself I would only do it after marriage.

My last day in this company is tomorrow. I have told him several times I am feeling guilty to my partner whenever our talk is becoming sexual. He says we should talk less because it's hard for him because he really desires me.

I tried to not talk to him for 2 days and it failed because I was so sad and I kept crying again and again the whole day. So on the 3rd day I ended up calling him again and our talk became sexual again.

I don't know how to end this without heartbreak. I have an emotional attachment towards him. I'm not imagining a future with him. I don't want him as a husband. I would really like it if we could still be friends but for him he said he would always think of me as more than a friend. He always imagines me naked and having sex with me. Me, I just really like to talk to him.

For those who have successfully ended their emotional affair, how did you do it? Please give me your advice. I have a history of depression so I was really scared when I felt myself spiraling down when I tried not to talk to him. I also have adhd and whenever I talk to him I get a dopamine hit and it feels really addicting. 

I don't know how to stop this. I have diagnosed adhd. I don't know if it's adhd, limerence, or just me making shitty decisions to get the validation and dopamine I want.

I got sent to this other country last May to train the people there. I met this guy at work. I met him on my last week of stay there and he was really nice to me. Took me out to dinner so I could try out their country's food. We had dinner with other members sometimes or sometimes just us. It was good. We became friends and I felt a connection. He was really respectful and didn't do anything inappropriate. But on my last day, we were both very emotional. He said he would miss me a lot. I gave him a goodbye hug. At the airport, we continued talking online and I was very sad. I was crying. I enjoyed being in that country by myself. It's my first time in my life having my own room (company gave me my own hotel room), travelled alone, and being independent. I missed it immensely and I was talking to him and I asked him if he liked me because he kept saying he misses me. He confessed that he like me. What happened after that, snowballed.

We continued talking even when I was back in my country. I made poems for him. The poems were about the possibility of us being together if we had only been both single. He's married and I'm in an 8 yr relationship with my bf. He's not living together with his wife. He lives in the city. Their hometown is 12 hrs away and it's been 6 months since he last went home to her.

We would message each other. I would call him when we're both free. He has immense physically attraction towards me. He wants to have sex with me. Me? Not that much but I am enjoying his desire. I love being desired so much. I feel so beautiful. I am happy with how much he's attracted to me. I like seeing him smile and flustered and thinking of doing things to me.

He desires me sexually and I like it. I also like how I am writing again. But I can't show anyone the poems and songs because it's about him.

I don't know what to do. It's like dopamine hit after hit every time I talk to him.

To be clear, I don't want to have a romantic relationship with him. I don't want to leave my bf. I don't want him to leave his wife for me. I am just enjoying talking to him. It feels like we're connected but fated not to be. He makes me feel beautiful.

I don't know how to stop this. It feels like I'm going through withdrawal every time I try to stop. ​​​​

I don't know how to stop this. I have diagnosed adhd. I don't know if it's adhd, limerence, or just me making shitty decisions to get the validation and dopamine I want.

I got sent to this other country last May to train the people there. I met this guy at work. I met him on my last week of stay there and he was really nice to me. Took me out to dinner so I could try out their country's food. We had dinner with other members sometimes or sometimes just us. It was good. We became friends and I felt a connection. He was really respectful and didn't do anything inappropriate. But on my last day, we were both very emotional. He said he would miss me a lot. I gave him a goodbye hug. At the airport, we continued talking online and I was very sad. I was crying. I enjoyed being in that country by myself. It's my first time in my life having my own room (company gave me my own hotel room), travelled alone, and being independent. I missed it immensely and I was talking to him and I asked him if he liked me because he kept saying he misses me. He confessed that he like me. What happened after that, snowballed.

We continued talking even when I was back in my country. I made poems for him. The poems were about the possibility of us being together if we had only been both single. He's married and I'm in an 8 yr relationship with my bf. He's not living together with his wife. He lives in the city. Their hometown is 12 hrs away and it's been 6 months since he last went home to her.

We would message each other. I would call him when we're both free. He has immense physically attraction towards me. He wants to have sex with me. Me? Not that much but I am enjoying his desire. I love being desired so much. I feel so beautiful. I am happy with how much he's attracted to me. I like seeing him smile and flustered and thinking of doing things to me.

He desires me sexually and I like it. I also like how I am writing again. But I can't show anyone the poems and songs because it's about him.

I don't know what to do. It's like dopamine hit after hit every time I talk to him.

To be clear, I don't want to have a romantic relationship with him. I don't want to leave my bf. I don't want him to leave his wife for me. I am just enjoying talking to him. It feels like we're connected but fated not to be. He makes me feel beautiful.

I don't know how to stop this. It feels like I'm going through withdrawal every time I try to stop. ​​​​

I don't know how to stop this. I have diagnosed adhd. I am taking only quetiapine to shut up my mind before sleep. I am not taking any meds for adhd because I don't want to remove my adhd superpowers like hyper focus.

Anyway, I got sent to this other country last May to train the people there. I met this guy at work. I met him on my last week of stay there and he was really nice to me. Took me out to dinner so I could try out their country's food. We had dinner with other members sometimes or sometimes just us. It was good. We became friends and I felt a connection. He was really respectful and didn't do anything inappropriate. But on my last day, we were both very emotional. He said he would miss me a lot. I gave him a goodbye hug. At the airport, we continued talking online and I was very sad. I was crying. I enjoyed being in that country by myself. It's my first time in my life having my own room (company gave me my own hotel room), travelled alone, and being independent. I missed it immensely and I was talking to him and I asked him if he liked me because he kept saying he misses me. He confessed that he like me. What happened after that, snowballed.

We continued talking even when I was back in my country. I made poems for him. The poems were about the possibility of us being together if we had only been both single. He's married and I'm in an 8 yr relationship with my bf. He's not living together with his wife. He lives in the city. Their hometown is 12 hrs away and it's been 6 months since he last went home to her.

We would message each other. I would call him when we're both free. He has immense physically attraction towards me. He wants to have sex with me. Me? Not that much but I am enjoying his desire. I love being desired so much. I feel so beautiful. I am happy with how much he's attracted to me. I like seeing him smile and flustered and thinking of doing things to me.

He desires me sexually and I like it. I also like how I am writing again. But I can't show anyone the poems and songs because it's about him.

I don't know what to do. It's like dopamine hit after hit every time I talk to him.

To be clear, I don't want to have a romantic relationship with him. I don't want to leave my bf. I don't want him to leave his wife for me. I am just enjoying talking to him. It feels like we're connected but fated not to be. He makes me feel beautiful.

I don't know how to stop this. It feels like I'm going through withdrawal every time I try to stop. ​​​​

I don't know how to stop this. I have diagnosed adhd. I am taking only quetiapine to shut up my mind before sleep. I am not taking any meds for adhd because I don't want to remove my adhd superpowers like hyper focus.

Anyway, I got sent to this other country last May to train the people there. I met this guy at work. I met him on my last week of stay there and he was really nice to me. Took me out to dinner so I could try out their country's food. We had dinner with other members sometimes or sometimes just us. It was good. We became friends and I felt a connection. He was really respectful and didn't do anything inappropriate. But on my last day, we were both very emotional. He said he would miss me a lot. I gave him a goodbye hug. At the airport, we continued talking online and I was very sad. I was crying. I enjoyed being in that country by myself. It's my first time in my life having my own room (company gave me my own hotel room), travelled alone, and being independent. I missed it immensely and I was talking to him and I asked him if he liked me because he kept saying he misses me. He confessed that he like me. What happened after that, snowballed.

We continued talking even when I was back in my country. I made poems for him. The poems were about the possibility of us being together if we had only been both single. He's married and I'm in an 8 yr relationship with my bf. He's not living together with his wife. He lives in the city. Their hometown is 12 hrs away and it's been 6 months since he last went home to her.

We would message each other. I would call him when we're both free. He has immense physically attraction towards me. He wants to have sex with me. Me? Not that much but I am enjoying his desire. I love being desired so much. I feel so beautiful. I am happy with how much he's attracted to me. I like seeing him smile and flustered and thinking of doing things to me.

He desires me sexually and I like it. I also like how I am writing again. But I can't show anyone the poems and songs because it's about him.

I don't know what to do. It's like dopamine hit after hit every time I talk to him.

To be clear, I don't want to have a romantic relationship with him. I don't want to leave my bf. I don't want him to leave his wife for me. I am just enjoying talking to him. It feels like we're connected but fated not to be. He makes me feel beautiful.

I don't know how to stop this. It feels like I'm going through withdrawal every time I try to stop. ​​​​

I don't know how to stop this. I have diagnosed adhd. I am taking only quetiapine to shut up my mind before sleep. I am not taking any meds for adhd because I don't want to remove my adhd superpowers like hyper focus.

Anyway, I got sent to this other country last May to train the people there. I met this guy at work. I met him on my last week of stay there and he was really nice to me. Took me out to dinner so I could try out their country's food. We had dinner with other members sometimes or sometimes just us. It was good. We became friends and I felt a connection. He was really respectful and didn't do anything inappropriate. But on my last day, we were both very emotional. He said he would miss me a lot. I gave him a goodbye hug. At the airport, we continued talking online and I was very sad. I was crying. I enjoyed being in that country by myself. It's my first time in my life having my own room (company gave me my own hotel room), travelled alone, and being independent. I missed it immensely and I was talking to him and I asked him if he liked me because he kept saying he misses me. He confessed that he like me. What happened after that, snowballed.

We continued talking even when I was back in my country. I made poems for him. The poems were about the possibility of us being together if we had only been both single. He's married and I'm in an 8 yr relationship with my bf. He's not living together with his wife. He lives in the city. Their hometown is 12 hrs away and it's been 6 months since he last went home to her.

We would message each other. I would call him when we're both free. He has immense physically attraction towards me. He wants to have sex with me. Me? Not that much but I am enjoying his desire. I love being desired so much. I feel so beautiful. I am happy with how much he's attracted to me. I like seeing him smile and flustered and thinking of doing things to me.

He desires me sexually and I like it. I also like how I am writing again. But I can't show anyone the poems and songs because it's about him.

I don't know what to do. It's like dopamine hit after hit every time I talk to him.

To be clear, I don't want to have a romantic relationship with him. I don't want to leave my bf. I don't want him to leave his wife for me. I am just enjoying talking to him. It feels like we're connected but fated not to be. He makes me feel beautiful.

I don't know how to stop this. It feels like I'm going through withdrawal every time I try to stop. ​​​​