u/RewindReverse

One of the challenges I been experiencing while writing in first-person is of course maintaining the voice of the character, and it can often feel like you are constricted to always fit the mold of how that character thinks and processes the world.

It feels like constantly chiseling down an idea that could be written and conveyed more eloquently, but instead it must be reduced, or at the very least arranged to organically to be in sync with the soul of the narrator. But I suppose that’s the sacrificial price that comes with the introspective intimacy of the style.

So, what are your thoughts on seeing flowery and poetic prose utilized in first-person POV?

Does it almost feel out of place? Can it ruin the authenticity of a character’s voice? For the project I personally been grinding on, I been attempting sprinkle it in small micro-doses here and there.
Sometimes I find that it works great. Other times it feels almost like a detour or overkill. How much is too much?

Any advice or references to books that manage to pull it off well would be great.

i apologize for the lengthy ramble but if anyone has the time I would greatly appreciate your insight.

I’m 26 and for years I’ve been plagued with sleep paralysis ever since my early teens. When my episodes first began i no had clue what was going on and the experience was absolutely terrifying. Between 16 to 18 it was the worst. Almost always accompanied by some intense and usually unpleasant lucid dream or even in-room hallucinations and “intruders” within my dream on more rarer occasions. There were some stretches during that time where i was having from anywhere 2-4 episodes per week. Till the point where i feared closing my eyes at night.

Anyways, fast forward to now it only occurs no more than once or twice a month. If at all. i’ve come to have a better understanding of what sleep paralysis is so I don’t freak out as much. Till the dream i had just now.

Just attempted an ordinary Sunday afternoon nap today. And felt sleep paralysis kicking in. And despite knowing what it is, i still hate the feeling. I’ve come to be familiar with the loud “vibrations” and “shaking” many people report experiencing, it feels like the most dreadful and intense surge of adrenaline imaginable. But this time that noise was a bit different. It felt more like something revving up, like that something was me, like i was being tuned into something as the sound was growing louder and louder each rev. Seeping deeper and deeper into me, and rapidly too, faster than i can fight it off like i usually do.

Suddenly as I’m hopelessly trying roll my paralyzed body over to wake myself up i suddenly zoom toward the direction of the my bedroom window and I’m magically outside in the front yard of my own house, all in a blink. Did i teleport? Phase through my the window? I have no clue besides that i was indeed conscious and aware of the fact that i was floating about. Flying? gliding? Again, i don’t know, but i had no body. Like i was some free floating camera, just aware and moving. Without size or weight. Just conscious. It all happened so fast i could barely process it all. i remember suddenly dashing upward toward the sky, almost on instinct and seeing the top of my house and freaking out from the height.

I don’t know if anyone else experienced this but the speed i was moving at was not normal and very difficult to maneuver with. Felt like i was moving at super speed or some shit. I would try to only move a couple inches in one direction and end up overshotting it by several yards. If i had compare it to something it felt moving in a video game on beyond max sensitivity. From the birds eye view at the top of my house, i tried to descend to my backyard but ending up accidentally zooming to the neighboring golfcourse directly behind it. i had traveled roughly 200 yards in what seemed like just a moment.

After a small window of enjoyment where i thought to myself this must be an out of body experience i began experimenting with my new movement. i flew all across the golf course, still scared shitless and not really able to control my direction but it was a blast at the same time. i wish i would’ve observed my sleeping body but this was all happening for the very first time and so quick the thought didn’t occur to me in the moment. While i was mid-air over the golfcourse i thought to myself “hmm, i wonder what the rest of the neighborhood looks like from up here”, And i thought about visiting the school park where i sometimes go on runs. What’s freaky is at just the simple thought of the location i suddenly just arrived there. Instantaneously. Visually everything look grainy, while so bright and vivid in color, but grainy, and everything felt realer than real. Just as i was thinking that this is so fucking cool suddenly a feeling of sheer dread and danger came over me. Like I’ve been detected and was now being watched. Like I’ve been caught doing something wrong.

I’ve experienced this before in lucid dreams in the presence of “intruders” but this felt different because I’m not so sure this was a dream this time. This felt like an immediate live time threat with real consequence. I couldn’t see what noticed me, but I’m aware something did. And i can’t explain it but i somehow knew the number of threats was exactly 3. Other people? Entities? I don’t know but their intent felt bad. Mind you this entire episode all occurred in what had to feel like no more than two minutes? I was so confused and looking at the sky in directions just bracing myself, convinced something was after me, and just as this feeling of dread came over me i started hearing the same revving up sound i had felt before i had left my body. And the astral experience was over.

I suddenly find myself dreaming. (At this time i wasn’t lucid yet but would eventually become aware later). i was in my teens again, and apart of some basketball team and we were all over at someone’s house before school for some reason. Can’t explain it but this house felt familiar, and i was so close with everyone in that room. Like I had known them my whole life. A childhood friend was even there, someone I haven’t spoken to in well over a decade but in this world we seemed as close as brothers. Everything just felt… right, you know? This dream felt long, I sat through an entire day of classes and even had basketball practice afterwards. (I never even played high school sports) After school in the locker room when we finished wrapping up and i go reach for the phone in my pocket and realized it didn’t look like my phone. The different case and everything snapped me back and i realized that the entire day i just lived had been a dream the entire time, and suddenly all my memories came flooding back to me.

The eery duration of time that passed me made want to end the dream immediately. I’ve exited other lucid dreams before in past but for some reason it wasn’t working this time. So after failing to do so i decided to lean into things and just walk around the empty halls of my old high school with my team. There were other after school clubs and some faculty scattered about, and very quickly i realized this building was nothing like my old high school. Same name but it was brand new and huge, unlike my raggedy old school i use to intend. After walking around i tried ending the dream again but this time i was panicking, and panicking hard. I kept repeating this is just a dream in my head, and even began shouting it out loud as people started looking at me like i was crazy. I knew everything around and everyone around me was fake but it all felt too real. But i was stuck there.

My phone was dead in this world and i began to act desperate as i marched down to use one of the phones at the front office and tried calling my mother’s number as if that was going to accomplish anything, only to hear the voice of a complete stranger on the other end. I guess in this world her number was different. As i continue to cause an absolute spectacle i demanded to borrow someone’s charger. After charging up my phone i instinctually attempt to call my girlfriend of 4 years only to stupidly realize her name isn’t in my contacts. After all i was in teen my years in this dream, and wouldn’t have met her yet, or perhaps she didn’t even exist at all there. Some school faculty ladies and my friends tried calming me down, but i was acting hysterical, repeatedly “saying this can’t be real, no this can’t real!” One of the ladies offer to pull up one of my emergency contact numbers in their system to ensure me everything is fine and i asked to speak to my father. (In the actual world he’s retired and would of lived just five minutes away from the school) but my childhood friend from earlier in the dream looked at me confused and asked what the fuck am i talking about because in this world i supposedly never knew my father. i remember breaking down in tears and wailing in the middle of the hallway floor thinking im going to be stuck here forever. I cried and cried, frustrated because no one else but could understand what was wrong but me. This whole ordeal felt like an eternity. Eventually i just felt so depleted and exhausted from the tears i just curled into a hopeless ball of defeat, praying to be sent back. Suddenly i wake up back in my bedroom still undergoing sleep paralysis. Never been so thankful to wake up in my bed before.

This is by far one of the most freaky experiences i ever had. And i have no clue what to make of it. Never had an out body experience before, not sure if this was one. And i’ve had lucid dreams before but never once felt trapped within one for that long. Been such a long time since i had such a negative experience.

Additional Context information

I’m not sure if this affects the body’s ability of entering dream states but during this week prior to the dream i remained for awake 36 hours, then my second long stint i remained awake for 30 hours.

An hour and half prior to my mini nap from hell i entered a long intense state of meditation. Not to actively seek lucid dreaming or any shit like. In fact, i hate lucid dreaming, sleep paralysis and all other nightly phenomena attached. Never had any interest in learning how to astral project. The idea always spooked me and personally with my beliefs i always found the idea a bit dangerous. The meditative session was just absolute self reflection. Pure More like a prayer for betterment. i maybe meditate no more than 5-8 times a year if I’m feeling it. Was never truly spiritual in anyway until enduring my nightly paralysis as a teen. Not sure if this could’ve been an influence or not, but who knows

Not sure what to make of this. I’ve had lucid dreams before but this one just felt different. Had zero control or influence of anything. It all just felt… real. Too real. Did i leave my body? Did i enter an alternate reality or i was just a prisoner of my own dream? If i did leave, did i temporarily get stuck somewhere else? Come to think of it i never even astrally returned to my physical body. Is that a problem? Up late as this very moment, terrified to sleep again. If anyone has had similar experiences i would love to hear them.