u/Rogue_Apostle

I finished my first read-though of the Dark Tower yesterday. I had read the first 4 books many years (decades?) ago and I have to say, they are my favorite. The later books were so different in tone and seemed kind of random. I did enjoy reading them but I'm not sure I'll ever reread. I found the ending to be pretty unsurprising given the foreshadowing throughout the series (or at least through the second half of the series; I feel like King did not have a grand plan for the end when he began).

Anyway, I saw several parallels between DT and the Book of the New Sun by Gene Wolfe and just wondered if anyone else felt this way. Both series are set in a world that as "moved on," and both are a quest to save that world. Both have somewhat unreliable narration.

However, the tone and style is very different, and Severian is a very different protagonist than Roland. It's pretty clear that Wolfe had a pretty good idea where the story was going when he began, so it's not as full of the random loose ends that really started to bug me near the end of DT. Which is not to say that everything in BOTNS is fully explained at all! But it did feel more intentional that some elements of DT (Mordred being the biggest example of this for me; he had a complex backstory and huge setup and had zero impact on the plot whatsoever).

Has King ever mentioned that Wolfe was an influence of his? BOTNS was published between 1980 and 1983, so at the same time as the early DT books.

If you haven't read BOTNS, I highly recommend it. It's one of my favorite series.

We're currently on vacation and in a small town without a lot of options. My daughter is sick of burgers with a stale gluten free bun.

I'm willing to go to the grocery store or wherever, but we only have access to a microwave right now, so I can't cook very much.

Any suggestions for a meal when the local restaurant options aren't great?

My mom (a Boomer) has a sister and a brother. My mom and her sister never really liked the woman that their brother married. She was always a bit of an outsider in our extended family. She was a heavier woman. Not fat by today's standards; in fact, she might be average by today's standards. But she was bigger than my mom and her sister were when they were in their 30's, which is when this story takes place.

When I was around 10 years old, we were at a summer BBQ at my grandma's house. I was in the kitchen helping my grandma and my mom's sister with food prep, when my mom burst into the room. "[SIL] just got here and she's wearing SHORTS!" my mom exclaimed.

My grandma and aunt were taken aback and expressed their horror at this. I was confused. It was a summer BBQ; what else would you wear? We were all wearing shorts.

I questioned my mom on why this was so shocking and she looked at me like I was stupid. "She's FAT!" was the explanation.

And so the idea that there was a size limit for shorts was permanently implanted in my brain. For the rest of my life, I would take note of overweight people who had the audacity to wear shorts in public. At first, it was with the judgmental disgust that I learned from the other women in our family. Eventually I realized they were full of shit and stopped judging, but I still notice it. I can't help it.

And so 40-some years later, I find myself thinking about this because I have to see my mom today, and it's hot as balls outside. I don't consider myself fat, but I could stand to lose a few pounds. I might even be as big as my poor aunt was back in the day. And so I think about what my mom might think when she sees me in shorts. I stopped giving a shit about what my mom thinks of me a long time ago, but I still think about it.

I've tried really hard to NOT do this to my own kids. To not instill some weird prejudice in them. I'm sure I did at some point, though.

I'd love to hear stories of other weird things that have stuck with you from childhood.

I'm leaving the Chicago area next week with my kids on the following route. Any suggestions for additional stops or things to see? Some hotels are booked and for others we will wing it. The kids are 17 and 14. We're open to hikes up to about 5 miles.

Day 1 - Drive at least 8 hours up I90 to I94 through Minneapolis towards Fargo, stop for the night in MN or ND.

Day 2 - Drive remaining 4-6 hours to Roosevelt National Park North Unit and do the drive through, stopping for views and short hikes. Spend the night in Dickinson, ND.

Day 3 - Roosevelt National Park South Unit, drive the loop and do a couple of longer hikes (suggestions?)

Day 4 - Drive 6 hours to Custer, SD, stopping by Mount Rushmore on the way. Stay the night in Custer.

Day 5 - Custer State Park

Day 6 - Custer State Park in the morning, then drive to Wall, SD.

Day 7 - Badlands National Park

Days 8-9 - Drive back to Chicago via I90

I mean, I assume it is worth it because you're all here talking about the series. But I need some encouragement.

I started devouring Stephen King books when I was a teenager in the 90's. I read The Gunslinger, The Drawing of the Three, and The Wastelands and loved them. I thought I had also read Wizard and Glass. It was published right around the time I graduated from college and I kind of took a break from reading for awhile after that, so I never finished the series.

I recently decided to read the entire series from the beginning. The first three books were really fun. I was worried that they wouldn't hold up to my memories of them, but they absolutely did. I found that I remembered certain parts of them very vividly, but other parts I had completely forgotten. It was interesting to see what my teenage brain had found memorable.

Then I got to Wizard and Glass. I remembered the first part with Blaine and the riddles. I remembered the rest of it being centered on Susan Delgado. But I guess I never finished the book because I absolutely was not ready for >!Susan to be burned at the stake.!< Holy shit. I kept thinking that she would get out of it somehow, possibly Roland would use the glass ball to transport her, maybe to the Tower, which would explain why he's so obsessed with the Tower.

And then learning what happened to >!Roland's mom!< made the ending even more depressing.

And then I started Wolves of the Calla and found out that >!Alain was also accidentally shot due to mistaken identity!!< WTF?! I'm starting to question how good of a gunslinger Roland really is.

I'm feeling very ambivalent about finishing the series. I will do it, but I'm no longer really excited about the ending like I was before.

This is a wild ride!

We just got back from a camping trip to UP Michigan and the mosquitoes were relentless, which we expected.

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We're thinking of a trip closer to home next. Does anyone know how the bugs are at Mississippi Palisades, and whether there's a time they're not so bad? I've heard the gnats are bad but I'm not sure if that's the case all summer.

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Yes, it's Michigan and there will be bugs. But the question keeps getting posted so I'll share my experience from this week.

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We did a couple of hikes at Sleeping Bear Dunes and saw no bugs at all, not even in the woods.

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Then we went up to Tahquemenon Falls and holy hell, the mosquitoes were bad. But it was just mosquitoes. We didn't see any biting flies and didn't find any ticks.

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We camped at River Mouth campground and hiked around both sets of falls. Mosquitoes were terrible everywhere. We wore pants, long sleeved shirts, tall socks, hats and head nets that we had pretreated with permethrin. We applied DEET spray often. With those measures, we got minimal bites. They were just annoying.

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Any time the breeze was blowing, the bugs were a non-issue. But as soon as the wind dropped, we were swarmed.

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Having a vestibule on our tent really helped with keeping the tent bug free. We treated it as an airlock and never opened both doors at once.

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A screened canopy was also really great for food prep, meals, and just hanging out.

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So yes, it was bad. But with the right prep it can still be ok.

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We're loading up the family truckster and hitting the road next week with two screen-addicted teens, 17 and 14 years old.

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I'd like something to listen to in the car and possibly at our campsite that will hold their attention.

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They are both into all things 80's and really liked Stranger Things. I was thinking of maybe starting with The Body (Stephen King) but it's not very long.

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Any similar suggestions? Or maybe something with humor.

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We are ok with swearing but a sex scene would probably cause my 14 year old to self-combust out of embarrassment.

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Does anyone know of a store that sells used camping gear? Ideally in the northwest burbs but I'm willing to drive a bit.

So I recently camped for the first time. I'd like to take my kids out to try it. They are not really outdoorsy. They're addicted to their devices. I'd like to go for a couple of days and see if they can get into outdoor life and relax a bit.

We don't own any gear. When I went by myself, I just used a $20 pup tent and a cheapo inflatable pad. I think that having a bit more comfort will increase the odds of my kids actually enjoying it. But I also don't want to spend a fortune on something while we're in the proof-of-concept phase.

Requirements:

Camping at campgrounds, some primitive and some with utilities

Camping near the car, not hiking in

Gear can fit in a sedan when packed

Mostly warm weather camping in the Midwest

Fits two adults and two teens (currently 17 and 14 years old)

What I'm thinking of:

Middle of the road quality tent (s) - maybe two 4p or one 6p?

Separate canopy tent with bug screens for food prep, eating, etc.

Air mattresses - we have two twins that we use for sleepovers (indoors). Maybe add a queen sized one for the adults? What's important to look for in a camping mattress? The ones I'm seeing are hundreds of dollars and I'm not ready to spend that.

Sleeping bags or just bedding?

Cooking - small camp stove? Definitely need a way to make coffee.

What else is a necessity for starting out?

I'm looking for specific product recommendations if you have them!

I hope this post does not come off as out-of-touch or privileged. That is not my intention. I hope that given the audience in this sub, my thoughts here will be understood.

My husband and I both grew up in blue collar, paycheck-to-paycheck type families. Our families did not teach us financial literacy because they did not have it themselves. They did encourage us to go to college, with some vague notion that we could have better lives than they did.

And so we both went to a state school and got bachelor's degrees. We both started out with entry-level jobs earning around $35K in the late 90's.

We worked hard and got promoted. We learned about savings and investments and retirement vehicles. I distinctly remember having a physical copy of "Investing for Dummies" before the internet was a big thing.

We lived below our means and we saved and invested, mostly in the market, nothing crazy like day-trading.

By the time we were in our early 40's, we were each earning over $200K per year. We continued to live below our means but not insanely frugally; we splurged when we wanted to.

In our late 40's we retired with over $5M in liquid assets.

Looking at future projections, assuming no major market correction, and assuming we live into our 80's or 90's, we will leave our kids with tens of millions of dollars.

That is INSANE to me. We have created generational wealth in just one generation. And we did not do it by inventing something or starting a million-dollar company or doing risky investing. We just followed the program: work hard, spend less than you make, invest.

We did have the foresight to choose lucrative fields, but we always had corporate jobs; nothing that looks fancy from the outside.

In retrospect, it was just so.....easy? I mean, we did work hard, but I don't feel like we did anything that couldn't be done by most people.

And yet, most people obviously don't do it. It's just mind-blowing to me that we managed to get to a financial position that most people can only dream of, in only one generation, without making any earth-shattering moves. Like we somehow stumbled upon the cheat code for life, but it wasn't even really hidden to begin with.

It's crazy to me that FIRE is such a fringe lifestyle.

I've had a lot of wanderlust lately, I guess because the weather is getting warmer. I've never been a big road tripper. Usually we fly if it's over a 6-ish hour drive.

Now I'm retired and it occurs to me that nothing is stopping me from just getting in the car and driving. I have two kids in high school so I feel the mom guilt of leaving them behind, although they're busy with their own stuff. My husband is a home body and wouldn't want to go with me.

I have an obligation roughly every week for the next few weeks, so I could set out for about 6 days. I'm in Chicago. I'm thinking of heading towards northern Wisconsin and UP Michigan for hiking.

Is it crazy to just go? Find a hotel when I get tired and just explore? It sounds amazing but I'm not sure about the reality.

There's been a few posts here about friendships as we age lately, which have gotten me thinking about my own situation.

I haven't had any real friends since high school. For decades now, my husband has been my only friend.

I think my story is fairly typical. I meet people through work or some other activity and we hang out and have fun. Things seem to be going well. But eventually I notice that while they're happy to hang out if I invite them, I never get an invitation. Slowly I stop initiating and then I never hear from them again.

This has happened with literally every "friendship" in my adult life.

Often, the group keeps hanging out together without me, so I know someone must be initiating the get-togethers. They just weren't inviting me.

The standard response to this situation that I see online is that these people suck and I should find friends who reciprocate my friendship.

Ok but after a lifetime of watching this happen with various different people, I kind of have to conclude that I'm the problem. Right? There just isn't another logical explanation. I guess I'm just not very likable. It seems like people do have fun with me, but I'm not memorable enough to spontaneously invite.

This used to bother me tremendously but I've eventually come to terms with it and accepted that I'm a loner. But still, there are times I think it might be nice to have a friend. But then I remember how much it sucks to realize it's not really a reciprocated friendship, so I don't try again.

Just looking for more thoughts on the topic.

I'll start by saying I'm not on Facebook, so I realize I'm missing out on Facebook marketplace.

But I've been trying to sell three bikes for months. They're all in good condition and I'm not asking outrageous prices. I mostly just want them gone from my garage. I'm posting on Craigslist and Nextdoor and I've only gotten scam replies.

I've always bought used stuff, especially when my kids were little and outgrew things quickly. I feel like ten years ago, these bikes would have sold in hours. Are people just not buying used stuff anymore?

If you buy used stuff, where do you look for it? Is Facebook marketplace really any better than the alternatives in terms of getting serious buyers and not scams?

Edit: dammit, ok I get it. Facebook it is.