u/Royal-Analysis7380

Hey, I've been in all-in recovery for about 3 months. Physically I feel much better (can sleep properly again, have my energy back, etc.), but I've been struggling mentally A LOT. I can't get therapy right now, though I am working on it. Since my ED numbed my feelings, I now often feel overwhelmed or depressed. I also struggle a lot with my body-image.

I fully listen to my cravings, try to distract myself with hobbies and go out and meet my friends, but it's been hard. What has helped you most to stay hopeful and cope with these feeling? Any tips on how to ensure I am not holding myself back? Would love to hear your experiences!

I am not sure if this is "normal" among non-neurodivergent people too, but whatever. Sometimes I will read a book or watch a show and I am hooked. I will spend hours thinking about certain characters and every small thing reminds me of them. That's technically not a bad thing, but often I care so deeply that it actually hurts. Like, I will hear a sad song that relates to that piece of media or an edit and it will actually make me depressed, which is hard because I've been struggling mentally a lot already. I used to daydream all the time, which caused me avoid social interactions or chores just so that I could think about these fictional characters (this has gotten better at least).

Is this common?

I am planning on going on a vacation to the beach with my closest friends. I know that if I go into the water with not healed cuts that there is a risk it will get infected and I really don't want to have to deal with that. I shouldn't cut anymore as of today to make sure that all wounds have healed by the time the vacation starts. At the same time, I don't know how to stay clean this long. It's been escalating the last few months and I have started cutting quite frequently.

I don't want to stop, but I also don't want the consequences. Just ranting I supoose.

I love fantasy, but feel like often the mental health aspect isn't addressed enough or "trauma" is overcome within just a few chapters. I am looking for a book where the main character is impacted by their mental health longterm - this can be in form of self harm, eating disorders, panic attacks, strong depression, ptsd, etc. Bonus point if it addressed by other characters. Another bonus point if queer characters exist.

I finally started recovery six weeks ago and back then I swore to myself that I would give it at least until the end of the year a go. It hasn't been easy the past weeks and I had a setback two days ago. I suppose it could be worse, but I still am angry at myself that I already broke that promise after less than two months. At the same time, I am worried about stopping this disordered behavior again, because I (and partially also other people) have been telling myself for so long that not honoring my cravings is the same as "discipline". Rationally, I know that this is not the case, but unfortunately fatphobia is a real problem in our society and I worry about negative comments on my body. I am just tired and scared, I suppose.

I don't mean for this to come off as judging, I am simply curious after a talk with some friends.

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I have only been vegan for about a year, but I noticed that I can't view animal products the same anymore. In the beginning I was still struggling somewhat with the change, but fortunately, I just don't see it as food anymore. I am aware that "disgusted" is a strong word, but seeing people eat meat evokes the same feelings in me that most people would likely feel if this animal had been a pet. I don’t have any vegan friends, but some who have been vegetarian for years. They mentioned that that's not really something they think about and don't mind preparing meat for family or seeing them eat it.

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Is this something that bothers you?

Even before my eating disorder, I've been struggling with depression. It might just be a phase, but I noticed my depression worsening again. While I am generally more introverted, I know that it's important that I still see friends every once in a while to make sure that I don't allow myself to get worse.

The problem is, that I want to eat constantly. I am aware that this is a normal reaction after restriction and I am trying to honor it, but when I am meeting with friends it's kind of hard to do, which leads to the thoughts about food worsening again in the following days. I don't know if this means I'm setting myself back? I obviously don't want to empty their cupboards every time we meet and if we are outside I can't just quickly grab a snack. I'm trying to remember to always take something with me, but it often leaves me unsatisfied (and carrying a huge bag filled with food around would be a bit inconvenient and strange). I am also noticing that having to pre-plan what I will eat is stressing me, so it feels easier to just stay home alone, where I don't have to worry about still being hungry or other people judging me.

I am likely overthinking this, but oh well. I guess I just want to know if anyone else understands this feeling? Is there anything that helped you?

The last few days I really started noticing the changes in my body. I already knew that I wasn't underweight, but this just made me even more uncomfortable. Additionally, while the food noise had quieted somewhat, it now got louder again is much worse than before.

I've been eating a lot because of that and today I got my period back. I know that many wish they could get theirs back and that I should be happy, but I've been kind of just hyperventilating and crying. A few other negative things also happened which made matters worse.

Every time I told somebody about being scared of being in a bigger body, they all (friends, family, therapists) told me that I could just control what I eat again or that it wouldn't happen in the first place. I know that I will keep gaining though and I worry everyone will think I've gone too far. I am scared and feel gross and alone. I hate this.

Just a rant I suppose. I know that recovery is the right thing and I know that I'll have to push through, but I am "finally" noticing the eating disorder voice pushing back and I just feel lonely.

I know that technically, it is partly my fault, but I never truly felt understood before. My parents didn't notice that I relapsed and are currently gone on a long vacation, so I also haven't told them about starting recovery again. I haven't been able to have therapy in months due to financial reasons, meaning I don't really have any support.

Two of my closest friend struggle with disordered eating and don't want to change their behavior. I love them, but I am also frequently triggered. Everywhere people are talking about body weight and "being healthy" and it's hard to reason against my eating disorder, when so many people are justifying disordered behahior.

Sometimes, it just feels like nobody will ever get it. Likely I am dramatizing, but I don't know, it's been hard...Just needed to get everything off my chest, thanks for reading until the end.

Tw for talking about purging.

Yesterday, a friend called me, because he had been drinking with some friends and didn't feel well enough to get home by himself, therefore he asked if I could drive him. They were close to my house, so they walked there. I let him in so he could drink some water, but he quickly threw up.

I know it was unvoluntary, but it was so loud and the sound got stuck in my head. It was extremely triggering, especially because he too struggles with an eating disorder and has told me in the past that he wants to throw up. Now, my stupid brain tells me that I could just do the same and start purging again. Is there a way to let it affect me less? I desperately don't want to start engaging in disordered behaviors again and I know that I can just "not do it", but it's so hard. Any advice appreciated.

My world has multiple continents completely seperated by the ocean. The distances are great enough that over centuries, people assumed they were the only ones.

Eventually one state (A) discovered the existence of another continent (B). This led to conflict and the different groups of people that exist on the two continents aren't actively exchanging knowledge. Now I want a third continent (C) to be discovered by A.

How long would it likely take until B finds out about C's existence? The technology level is similar to the 13th century. Generall, how did internal news about A and B likely reach the other continent? (I am aware that this depends on a multitude of factors, but would appreciate a rough time frame anyways!)

I think I am currently experiencing extreme hunger which means that I eat A LOT more food than I did before. This also means I have to buy food much more frequently (so in comparison to family members) and therefore spend more money. I still rely on my parents to provide for me and while my family isn't struggling financially, I am really embarrassed and feel guilty to potentially have to request more money because of food...I know that my body and brain needs it, but it still feels so unnecessary and stupid. Any advice to feel less guilty?

TW for mentioning of suicidal thoughts and self harm behavior.

My friend is really struggling with depression right now. I've tried to encourage her to talk to a professional, but she refused. Now I'm trying my best to help her simply by listening and offering support, but it's been hard. I would consider myself an empathetic person and often feel deeply for my loved ones, but this also leads to me being affected by her own struggles. Almost every time we talk, she will mention how useless life is and that she will kill herself eventually anyway. She is also often angry or annoyed. I've noticed that even on days that I am feeling fine, I'll often have strong self harm urges after we finished talking and self harm is an issue that has independently gotten worse in recent weeks, so I am a bit worried it will escalate even more.

I don't blame her for being upset and definitely not for my own actions. At the same time, I do not know how to continue. Is there a way to better distance myself from my own emotions? At what point do I need to prioritize myself? I don't want to be a bad friend and only want her to her to feel loved. Any advice appreciated.

I'm still extremely early in recovery, therefore I can't judge how my menal state will develop, but I wanted to know if anyone else has been experiencing the same. I expected to feel extremely guilty during and after meal and to struggle a lot with things I denied myself during my ed. But it's not?? I just eat and it's no big deal and I genuinely don't understand why. I want to be happy, of course, that it manageable on my own, but at the same time the eating disorder voice tells me that this must mean that it wasn't "as bad" (I logically know that this is false, but it's still hard). Is this weird? Is it likely to get harder or is food just suddenly not a big problem anymore?