u/Rx_chitchat

35F here. Looking at my peers, it seems that having children has created a kind of built-in structure for the next few decades of their life. Not necessarily meaning or happiness, and definitely not an “easy” life, but there are obvious milestones, responsibilities and routines that are going to shape their lives.

When you choose not to have children, a lot of that default structure disappears. Don't get me wrong, I really value my freedom, and that's the reason I want to be mindful when I answer this question for myself: "What exactly am I building toward?"

I also get variations of the inevitable question from friends/family: “So what are you going to do with your life?”..... I don’t think I need to justify being childfree to anyone, but the question has made me realize that I would actually like to have an answer for myself.

So I’m considering creating some kind of rough life blueprint. Not, like, a rigid 30-year plan, but a rough idea for the kind of life I want to build: what does my support system look like? How solid do I want to be on the finances? What experiences do I want to prioritize?

Regardless of what people say, I still do firmly believe that well-raised children bring in a lot of support (financial/emotional/logistical) for their ageing parents, so what are the alternatives going to be for me?

If anyone here has created an actual document/template/framework for this, I would genuinely love to hear from you.

Thanks!

35F here. Looking at my peers, it seems that having children has created a kind of built-in structure for the next few decades of their life. Not necessarily meaning or happiness, and definitely not an “easy” life, but there are obvious milestones, responsibilities and routines that are going to shape their lives.

When you choose not to have children, a lot of that default structure disappears. Don't get me wrong, I really value my freedom, and that's the reason I want to be mindful when I answer this question for myself: "What exactly am I building toward?"

I also get variations of the inevitable question from friends/family: “So what are you going to do with your life?”..... I don’t think I need to justify being childfree to anyone, but the question has made me realize that I would actually like to have an answer for myself.

So I’m considering creating some kind of rough life blueprint. Not, like, a rigid 30-year plan, but a rough idea for the kind of life I want to build: what does my support system look like? How solid do I want to be on the finances? What experiences do I want to prioritize?

Regardless of what people say, I still do firmly believe that well-raised children bring in a lot of support (financial/emotional/logistical) for their ageing parents, so what are the alternatives going to be for me?

If anyone here has created an actual document/template/framework for this, I would genuinely love to hear from you.

Thanks!

Hi! We’re a F35/M39 couple looking to make some new in-person couple friends in Calgary, ideally other childfree couples around our age.

We’re both originally from India (mentioning our background just for context/full disclosure, but we’re open to meeting people from all ethnicities and cultures), have been in Canada for over 5 years, and work in tech in downtown Calgary. We enjoy walks, checking out cafes and restaurants, movies, and generally exploring the city.

Over time, most of our friends have started families. We’re genuinely happy for them and still love spending time with them, but we’d also like to expand our circle and meet people in a similar stage of life for better relatability.

Just to be clear, we are looking for platonic friendships only and if this resonates with you, feel free to DM!

Hi! We’re a F35/M39 couple looking to make some new in-person couple friends in Calgary, ideally other DINK/childfree couples around our age.

We’re both originally from India (mentioning our background just for context/full disclosure, but we’re open to meeting people from all ethnicities and cultures), have been in Canada for over 5 years, and work in tech in downtown Calgary. We enjoy walks, checking out cafes and restaurants, movies, and generally exploring the city.

Over time, most of our friends have started families. We’re genuinely happy for them and still love spending time with them, but we’d also like to expand our circle and meet people in a similar stage of life for better relatability.

Just to be clear, we are looking for platonic friendships only and if this resonates with you, feel free to DM!

Hi! We’re a F35/M39 couple looking to make some new in-person couple friends in Calgary, ideally other DINK/childfree couples around our age.

We’re both originally from India (mentioning our background just for context/full disclosure, but we’re open to meeting people from all ethnicities and cultures), have been in Canada for over 5 years, and work in tech in downtown Calgary. We enjoy walks, checking out cafes and restaurants, movies, and generally exploring the city.

Over time, most of our friends have started families. We’re genuinely happy for them and still love spending time with them, but we’d also like to expand our circle and meet people in a similar stage of life for better relatability.

Just to be clear, we are looking for platonic friendships only and if this resonates with you, feel free to DM!

Hi! We’re a F35/M39 couple looking to make some new in-person couple friends in Calgary, ideally other DINK/childfree couples around our age.

We’re both originally from India (mentioning our background just for context/full disclosure, but we’re open to meeting people from all ethnicities and cultures), have been in Canada for over 5 years, and work in tech in downtown Calgary. We enjoy walks, checking out cafes and restaurants, movies, and generally exploring the city.

Over time, most of our friends have started families. We’re genuinely happy for them and still love spending time with them, but we’d also like to expand our circle and meet people in a similar stage of life for better relatability.

Just to be clear, we are looking for platonic friendships only and if this resonates with you, feel free to DM!

F33, married, no kids (by choice for both of us). My marriage isn’t terrible, but it’s not good because we both rushed into it but have different things we value and get excited about.

I want out. He doesn’t.... So now I’m stuck.. I don’t feel distress, just persistent low‑grade sadness.

I’m not staying for love. I’m staying because I don’t have the strength to blow it up. I have an autoimmune condition that flares with stress, so the idea of separation, conflict, family drama, logistics, etc. feels like more than my body and mind can handle.

I prioritize day‑to‑day peace and routine over “fixing” my life. I regret not having been more thoughtful at the time of choosing my partner, but right now changing everything feels like too big of a hassle, so I'm trying to live with a kind of acceptance.

Not looking for advice in particular, but probably some relatability? Anyone else here staying in a not‑great situation simply because the fight to leave feels bigger than your capacity?