u/SFNerdyGirl

You post anything online & suddenly you're met with this massive tidal wave of trolls & super angry people just verbally degrading you for even posting anything on the internet. And to me, that's super pointless behavior that doesn't benefit either side.

You post that you need help with finances, you're called "lazy" "entitled" & told to "go get a job". You post yourself dancing & people reply with sexual stuff that's unnecessary or they make fun of your looks. You post art & people are so quick to accuse you of using AI; regardless of whether or not you show a timelapse process. You could post a take that everybody should agree on (like idk, water is a human right?) & a bunch of people will argue with you as to why it's not. Even here on reddit, I've been screamed at & mocked a bunch of times for asking a question & not knowing something. Like how dare I ask for help, I guess?

The internet has become such a hostile place where you get bullied relentlessly for simply existing. It shouldn't be like that. It's confusing to me that a person would be so angry at what a completely random stranger posts online that they feel justified in that emotion to belittle & attack that stranger. Again, it just seems like pointless behavior. If I don't like something that someone posts, I shrug & block them.

It's honestly not that hard to be nice to others online. I always give artists complements on their art or try to postitively contribute to a conversation. I feel it's a reflection on society as I've noticed empathy has been rapidly fleeting in the offline world.

(28F) Socialization has always been difficult for me and it's led to being socially rejected so much in my life that I have a deep fear of people & isolate more than I probably should.

I grew up in a very traumatic & abusive life with no support system. Nobody knew or suspected I had autism & 95% of conversations with other people were horrifically negative or degrading. No friends in school. A lot of times, my existance was just ignored or overlooked. But when I was noticed, the attention was always negative. I always expect every person I try to talk with to yell at me, hit me or leave. I don't want to be alone, but I feel that is what society wants me to be. I can't even trust anybody, even the "friends" I say I have now, due to the years of constant mistreatment & abuse. And I've been led to believe that I'm not worthy of friendship or to be around other humans in general because of the inability to speak with others.

When I try to make friends, it always follows the same pattern: Someone becomes overly attached/obsessed with me and spends all this time around me. They start to see me struggling with mental health, trauma and seem to think it's a one time thing. When the trauma happens more than once, they start distancing, yelling or mistreating me until one day, they snap at me. They expect me to understand the social cues, the boundaries they never expressed before, I get labeled things that I'm not and the person usually cuts me off, blocks me, or stalks/harasses me while publicly lying about me.

I would like to be able to trust people someday, make friends/meet good people and be able to convince my brain that not all people are bad. But there's been so many bad people that I don't really know if it's possible for me to overcome this. Socializing now gets so overwhelming that I cry and internally, I am begging not to be hurt and for the person to be a good person who cares. This doesn't feel right and I am open to any advice on socializing as an autistic adult.

(28F & late diagnosed autistic) For my entire life, I've struggled with socializing with others. The inability to socialize led to me getting abused, neglected, misunderstood, forgotten about & basically navigating life wondering if I even exist most days.

I've always tried my hardest to be nice to everybody, but more often than not, people would take advantage of that kindness & mistreat me. Each friend I tried to have in life followed the same pattern: they'd be kind to me initally, then over time they'd start yelling at me and then throw me out. I'd say a majority of my interactions with other people in my life was hostile & negative; leading me to be afraid of people. I trust no person, even people I try to say are my friends.

I don't have a support system or people to talk to usually, and when I share that online, people get evicerally mad at me and act like it's my fault. People get especially hostile towards me when I share about the trauma in my life & how my living situation is impossible to escape. It's one of the only things I really know how to speak about due to trauma & having no autonomy for 25 years. But despite being told to "reach out for help" to others, when I do that, I get ghosted, avoided or treated like a criminal for struggling. How dare I struggle, I guess? I don't understand it.

People genuinely scare and confuse me daily. My mom will claim to "love" me all the while being abusive towards me daily. I'll be told that I matter, but then people's actions towards me don't match. I'm told to "be myself" but then relentlessly bullied for sharing a hyperfixation or interest online. I get angry glares from people in public just for holding the door open for someone.

This has led to me isolating a lot & questioning if my existance is the issue. I want to make friends, but the constant social rejection, bullying and shaming I get is too painful for me to deal with.

I hope this is the right place to ask about this. I'm still a newer artist taking coms and struggle with a lot of this. I need some advice on how to handle Rude Clients and what is appropriate for a refund policy.

I've had a few clients so far that have disrespected me and behaved with entitlement. They didn't clearly communicate to me that they needed the piece done within a certain amount of time, nor did they follow the clear instructions in place for each client. They also were impatient, despite being told multiple times that there were a few pieces ahead of theirs and that I was dealing with a lot of personal issues.

I needed the income from coms for basic human needs, and I was barely able to give him the refund. I kindly informed them to have patience with the next person they choose to com. I'm not sure if I handled the situation the best, but I'd appreciate any advice on handling people who behave similarly or worse.

The refund policy I have currently says: if the first sketch isn't sent out and approved, the client gets a full refund. I thought that was fair, however, I can't afford to be doing that and am unsure if there is a better way to handle refunds. I'm not sure if saying "no refunds" is the right thing to do or not, either.

I'm still learning so I'd appreciate the help and patience!

(28F & recently diagnosed autistic) I don't really know how friends are supposed to be. My therapist had asked me yesterday if I had anybody that checked on me daily, including the friends I said I have now, and I said "no; are they supposed to?" I watched as my therapist grew upset and said that "everybody deserves someone to check in on them and it's unfortunate that you don't have that." That left me confused and questioning my friendships I currently have.

I'm not checked on by anybody, despite others knowing how much I struggle with mental health & my own personal life. And I know that timezones/their own lives & mental health are factors in this too, but even still, I always feel like I'm the one constantly reaching out to others just to remind them that I even exist.

And like, if nobody checks in on me, does that mean I don't have friends? Does that mean I don't even matter? I really don't want to go through mistreatment again. I'm never a first thought or choice to anybody and when I try to reach out to others for help in distressful times, I get pushed to the side, shunned, forgotten about and ignored.

I wish friendship was easier to understand, but this confusion has caused me to isolate from people for feeling like a burden or too much when I'm struggling.

(28F) I just got diagnosed a few days ago and I don't really think I'm handling it the best. Think it's also important to mention that I struggle with communication and survived a lifetime of bullying & abuse alone. Emotions and talking are still new for me, as well.

I've been reflecting the past few days and it makes sense given my past stuff, but I feel a lot of overwhelming anger and grief, mixed with this "well, that's life" kinda feeling that I can't shake. There's been so many tears and heavy panic attacks; I don't know if that's common when recieving the diagnosis.

Reading other people's experiences helped me a bit until they were like "For the love of god, don't tell anybody you have this or you'll be mistreated!" and that has been kind of terrifying me. Also since this diagnosis; colors seem brighter and textures seem to stand out more than usual. I'm not sure if that's common either.

I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do or how to continue forward. There's some closure, sure but like, also very intense emotions I don't understand. I got recommended some books, to do social groups over zoom, and my therapist recommended something called a "Sensory Coping Kit" that I have to look into.

Support, advice or anything like that is appreciated