u/SeaDiscombobulated70

If your office says an in-person meetup/team day is “not mandatory,” is it actually not mandatory… or is it one of those things where you’ll quietly look bad if you don’t go?

My office does monthly meetups that are usually around 3–4 hours in office. My boss has said they aren’t required, but I genuinely can’t tell whether that means “totally optional” or “optional, but we’ll remember who never shows up.”

I live about 45 minutes to an hour away, and honestly sometimes it feels like a waste of time for such a short meetup. But I also don’t want to be the only person not participating and accidentally hurt how I’m perceived professionally.

There are definitely other people who don’t attend, but a lot of them are farther away/Bay Area based, so I’m not sure if that’s viewed differently.

Just curious how this tends to work culturally in state offices. Do people actually care who attends these things?

Edit:
It's a small team and I'm not on probation.
I'm not looking to promote anytime soon. But I don't want to be disliked or have things feel awkward.

Does anyone know if there’s a Discord server, group chat, or online support group specifically for stepmoms/stepparents?

I know Reddit is great or those Facebook group chats (those seem very impersonal), but sometimes I wish there was more of a real-time community where we could check in with each other, vent, ask for advice, or just talk to people who genuinely understand the weird emotional side of stepparenting.

Being a stepmom can feel really isolating sometimes, especially when you’re trying your best and still questioning yourself constantly. I think having a smaller community of like-minded stepparents to touch base with would honestly be really comforting.

If something like this already exists, I’d love to know about it. And if not… would anyone be interested in one if I make it?

I’m a 33F and have an 11-year-old stepdaughter. I’ve been with her dad for about 5 years, and honestly, we have a really good relationship. I adore her. She’s funny, smart, and usually we genuinely enjoy being around each other.

But I’m frustrated with myself lately because I feel like when I’m not at my best mentally/emotionally, it impacts her so much.

I work full time and go to school, and right now I’m deep in finals. Last night I got maybe 2-3 hours of sleep because I was up studying all night. Both my stepdaughter and I have ADHD, and I know emotional regulation can already be hard for me even when I am rested. When I’m exhausted, overstimulated, or stressed, my patience gets thin way faster than I want it to.

She’s also in that phase where everything turns into an argument or a debate, and today I caught myself getting short and visibly annoyed. Not screaming or anything awful, but just… irritated. Cold. And the whole time I’m doing it, I know I’m going to regret it later, but in the moment I struggle to pull myself out of it. And this isn't the first time something like this has happened.

And honestly, I hate that side of myself. I worry that moments like this are what she’ll remember when she’s older. I worry one day she’ll just think I was mean or impatient and not see how much I truly love her.

I think part of being a stepparent is that there’s this extra fear of “what if I mess this up?” because you don’t always feel like you have the unconditional grace biological parents get.

I don’t know. I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else struggles with this, loving their stepkid deeply, but feeling crushed by guilt whenever stress/exhaustion makes them less patient than they want to be.

I had a 94% for most of the semester and then absolutely bombed the last unit exams. Now I’m sitting here realizing I might not even finish with a B and honestly I feel crushed.

What hurts the most is being so close to finally getting an A in A&P 1 and A&P 2. I worked so hard all semester, spent countless hours studying, sacrificed sleep, social life, everything and it feels like one bad unit completely destroyed the grade I spent months building.

I know people say “one grade doesn’t define you,” but it’s hard not to take it personally when you were doing well the entire semester and then suddenly one lecture exam and one lab practical tank everything.

I’m just really sad about it tonight. Feels like all the work I put in doesn’t even matter anymore.

I have my final but I don't think that will even save me and I just hate myself right now

Just like the title suggests, I’m curious if POTS can develop during adulthood. I understand that I can’t ask about specific symptoms or such, but I’m simply wondering if this is a congenital condition or if it can develop over time?
Also, I’m going to ask my doctor about getting diagnosed and wondering what tests I should ask about?

Wondering if I spent too much on travel and accommodations for my two week trip to Paris, Rome and Venice