u/Sensitive-Age-5354

i have regular fibro fatigue as my most bothering symptom, even more than the pain, that is currently manageable with meds. but i am so tired and even sleepy most of the time. i sleep ok most days, and take naps when i have days that i sleep less. but even so, sometimes i am watching tv and just fall asleep without even noticing.

i wonder if because i am about to have a big social thing my body is trying to prepare, so it makes me want to take a nap even after a full night of sleep, or because i am worried next semester i won't be able to rest as much, i am subconsciously trying to prepare.

i have always been more of a sleepy person, and used to sleep for 9-12 hours since my teens when i don't have an alarm on and on heavier days or right after them, i would take a 1-3 hour nap and it would not affect my night sleep, but even for me it's happening way too often and i would like to know if any of you feel something similar too.

so i (25nby/afab) was 3-10 when my uncle (18-25) used to tell my i had a hot ass and lie on top of me, often caressing my back. at the time, i just thought it was his way of showing affection, since he is very physical touchy with his sister and mom too, like, he enjoys lying on their lap and being scratched on his back.

we had a game that he said a pokemon and tickle me, and i had to say a specific pokemon that we had agreed to match to make him stop. i have always had mixed feelings abt tickles and was actually surprised when my nephew asked me to tickle him, when i was already a grown up. recently, i asked my uncle if he remembered that game and he said he didn't.

i really don't think he meant any harm, but i'll never know because these topics are absolute tabu in my family. he does basically all that with my younger female cousin too, and she is 9. what makes me itchy is that he never did the butt thing with my male cousin, younger than me and just a few years older than his sister. they tickle each other and pretend to physically fight a lot tho.

he was always a very chill guy and is very friends with some feminist-progressist women i know, but they are all his friends' wives/exes. he never had a steady relationship and the only gf we ever knew about was kinda crazy and inconvenient, but most of the family didn't even get to meet her.

me (25nby) and mu girlfriend (25f) have been dating for over three years now. she has always been very patient and caring. still, i can't really accept that she loves me and is so patient and loving. i don't ever think i deserve it.

for some context: the adults around me growing up were mostly neglecting and i had an emotionally abusive stepfather from 8 to 10yo. my mother was in love with him and would chose him over and over instead of me.

i've had similar issues in past relationships, but none lasted this long. we talk about getting married and having kids some day, and it really makes me happy and satisfied to think about that, but there are many times that i think about ending everything with her because i don't deserve her. she tells me it is up to her to decide if i am good enough for her, and asks me to let her love me. but again and again, i fail. i tried thinking that if it is humanly possible that i love her and wish her well and that i am willing to do stuff for her to make her happy, so it might be true that she wants the same for me. it worked for a while, but it doesn't anymore. i just feel like shit.

i have been in therapy for over 10 years with different psychologists and been consulting psychiatrists since 2022 to take meds. i do see improvement, but this part is very hard.

anyone can relate or give me any advice please?

oii! alguém aqui é pesquisador de pós como função primária/tempo integral?

desde que acabaram as aulas do mestrado, tenho tido muita dificuldade de organizar uma rotina. tenho condições de saúde crônicas que impactam minha energia e concentração, mas mesmo sem elas, imagino que ter auto disciplina pra manter um ritmo razoável seja complicado.

como vocês se organizam? tem um lugar dedicado? vão pra faculdade pra estudar? tem horários específicos?

já tentei de tudo e nada dura muito tempo kkkkrying

hii, i'm new here, so sorry if i'm starting with some heavy stuff

me (25nb) and my partner (25f) have been having some issues with her family. we've been together for 3+ years and these problems are recurring.

for context: she has an adoptive family and a biological close family because her biological parents both had psychological issues and weren't able to take care of her properly, but have always been there for her their own way. she currently lives with her adoptive mom and sister. i have no family in the city and since i graduated, i can't meet as much as i would like with my friends because of our jobs.

sooo, her biological parents died last year, one because of lung problems and the other because of cancer. she is still grieving, although she has been a lot better in the past few months. her adoptive mom has a hard time understanding the ptsd my girlfriend developed after watching her biological mom slowly die from cancer, on top of her already existing depression and anxiety.

my girlfriend's birth aunts and uncle have always been shit to her and her moms. they always invited them to their houses, but never to parties, even though they even invited neighbours and not so close friends. my girlfriend says she is ok with that, but she freaked out when she found out this week that one of her aunts' grandchild was having her first birthday party and she wasn't invited. that aunt lied to my face saying she didn't invite any of her son's cousins because of money issues, but her sisters have been texting my girlfriend's mom about this party and said they and their children were going. just my girlfriend wasn't invited and none of her aunts or her uncle seem to have thought about inviting her. in the end, that party didn't happen because of money issues and her aunt (the child's grandmother) asked me to pick up a hog dog for her when she saw me on my way to get my mother-in-law one. i was furious, but said nothing, collected her money and picked up her hot dog.

in addition to that, her adoptive mom has pneumonia, and was in bed for 10 days prior to us finding it out because she didn't want to go to the hospital because it is always so full. by the time we convinced her to go, it was midnight. i slept at the hospital's chairs while she had her meds and x ray because i have fibromyalgia and was already tired. we left around 3am. the next day she was feeling better and decided to wash the backyard, and it is really cold where we live now. one of her daughters was pissed at her, and obviously she is feeling even sicker now.

the three of them usually share house chores, even though most of it is left for my mother-in-law and my girlfriend because they stay longer at home while my sister-in-law is at work. the problem is that since my girlfriend's mom got sick, basically everything was left for my girlfriend alone to take care of, because her sister said she was feeling sick too and even called in two sick days, without going to the hospital (she owns a small store, so she has no boss).

my girlfriend called me a few times asking for help around the house because she was exhausted and i went there to help. i really wouldn't mind it if i didn't have my own house and cats to take care of, and i live alone. and also, if her mother treated her own anxiety and had some rest instead of trying to boss us around the house and if she didn't complain all the time about being sick while it took her 10 days to look for medical help. and if her sister wasn't a lazy ass 45yo that behaves like a teenage.

we've had looots of conversations about her family dynamics and how they affect not only her, but also me. she recognises that and is very understanding when i can't help her, but she won't back away from her family either, even though she knows they are abusive in many ways, and love destroying other people's lives (her words). i asked her multiple times to come live with me, so we would have some space for ourselves and would be able to set boundaries at our home, but her current job doesn't pay enough for that, and she says she is not leaving her house in a very dependent situation for another very dependent situation, as i would pay most of the bills (i said i would't mind it, but igi). her mental health won't allow her to take a second job or change jobs on top her her bachelor's degree, and i said i will not accept her leaving school, as there is only one more year for her to graduate.

the things is, these family issues are really getting on the way between us. i thought about breaking up a few times, but i also love her so much that the bare thought of it is hurtful. the problem is not her, it is her family. and i know it is a whole package, and one cannot chose their family, but it is really getting under my skin and causing me health problems so serious i can't work some days. we always talk about it, she apologises, i hate it because it is not her fault her family hurts her so bad, nor that they hurt me too, but i know i only have to deal with them because of her.

any advice?

hii, i'm new here, so sorry if i'm starting with some heavy stuff

me (25nb) and my partner (25f) have been having some issues with her family. we've been together for 3+ years and these problems are recurring.

for context: she has an adoptive family and a biological close family because her biological parents both had psychological issues and weren't able to take care of her properly, but have always been there for her their own way. she currently lives with her adoptive mom and sister. i have no family in the city and since i graduated, i can't meet as much as i would like with my friends because of our jobs.

sooo, her biological parents died last year, one because of lung problems and the other because of cancer. she is still grieving, although she has been a lot better in the past few months. her adoptive mom has a hard time understanding the ptsd my girlfriend developed after watching her biological mom slowly die from cancer, on top of her already existing depression and anxiety.

my girlfriend's birth aunts and uncle have always been shit to her and her moms. they always invited them to their houses, but never to parties, even though they even invited neighbours and not so close friends. my girlfriend says she is ok with that, but she freaked out when she found out this week that one of her aunts' grandchild was having her first birthday party and she wasn't invited. that aunt lied to my face saying she didn't invite any of her son's cousins because of money issues, but her sisters have been texting my girlfriend's mom about this party and said they and their children were going. just my girlfriend wasn't invited and none of her aunts or her uncle seem to have thought about inviting her. in the end, that party didn't happen because of money issues and her aunt (the child's grandmother) asked me to pick up a hog dog for her when she saw me on my way to get my mother-in-law one. i was furious, but said nothing, collected her money and picked up her hot dog.

in addition to that, her adoptive mom has pneumonia, and was in bed for 10 days prior to us finding it out because she didn't want to go to the hospital because it is always so full. by the time we convinced her to go, it was midnight. i slept at the hospital's chairs while she had her meds and x ray because i have fibromyalgia and was already tired. we left around 3am. the next day she was feeling better and decided to wash the backyard, and it is really cold where we live now. one of her daughters was pissed at her, and obviously she is feeling even sicker now.

the three of them usually share house chores, even though most of it is left for my mother-in-law and my girlfriend because they stay longer at home while my sister-in-law is at work. the problem is that since my girlfriend's mom got sick, basically everything was left for my girlfriend alone to take care of, because her sister said she was feeling sick too and even called in two sick days, without going to the hospital (she owns a small store, so she has no boss).

my girlfriend called me a few times asking for help around the house because she was exhausted and i went there to help. i really wouldn't mind it if i didn't have my own house and cats to take care of, and i live alone. and also, if her mother treated her own anxiety and had some rest instead of trying to boss us around the house and if she didn't complain all the time about being sick while it took her 10 days to look for medical help. and if her sister wasn't a lazy ass 45yo that behaves like a teenage.

we've had looots of conversations about her family dynamics and how they affect not only her, but also me. she recognises that and is very understanding when i can't help her, but she won't back away from her family either, even though she knows they are abusive in many ways, and love destroying other people's lives (her words). i asked her multiple times to come live with me, so we would have some space for ourselves and would be able to set boundaries at our home, but her current job doesn't pay enough for that, and she says she is not leaving her house in a very dependent situation for another very dependent situation, as i would pay most of the bills (i said i would't mind it, but igi). her mental health won't allow her to take a second job or change jobs on top her her bachelor's degree, and i said i will not accept her leaving school, as there is only one more year for her to graduate.

the things is, these family issues are really getting on the way between us. i thought about breaking up a few times, but i also love her so much that the bare thought of it is hurtful. the problem is not her, it is her family. and i know it is a whole package, and one cannot chose their family, but it is really getting under my skin and causing me health problems so serious i can't work some days. we always talk about it, she apologises, i hate it because it is not her fault her family hurts her so bad, nor that they hurt me too, but i know i only have to deal with them because of her.

any advice?