u/ShadowBot30

I work a job, have one actual friend and have to deal with the realisation I'm sort of a failure that hasn't even started university yet (did a year of foundation to get into the first year at my university).

I've gone to a therapist, but it felt like we were going in circles and I eventually ended it because the money it was costing just didn't make sense when my life wasn't changing.

As for my family: I love my mom, don't speak to my dad anymore and at times dislike my brother for not caring about his future and being lazy. He's 24 and living with my mom still without ever passing secondary level education (I do the same but at least I care about my future and learning how to cook, he hasn't bothered to do that yet at 25 while I'm 19).

It's just really annoying and dull my life is, I know I'd feel better going to the gym and developing other hobbies but I've never made any results from it and I have random back pain and shoulder pain on random exercises and it eventually becomes a reason I give up. My consistency is horrible and I give up on things quickly that take effort.

It just makes life really annoying at times being concerned with how undisciplined my brother is while at the same time not being much better outside of school.

What do I even do? How do I make life feel exciting and progress? How do you stop getting annoyed at the fact your brother is wasting his life?

I started going to therapy around November with the first therapist I found on a site and it felt effective at the time, but now I just feel like me and him are going in circles about topics and we don't really fix any of them.

It feels like I am the one bringing up almost all of the ideas and he (the therapist) just agrees with them and says I should do them. I get you only get what you put into therapy so if I'm not putting the things I say into practice then it isn't worth it, but I don't really see the point in paying £60 a week for someone to basically confirm what I already know and give superficial commentary on issues I'm having. Not to say he's been useless, he HAS helped in some areas but I think it's starting to become repetitive.

I brought this up with him after a 6 week break (from the therapy) by saying the therapy sessions just don't feel effective and he responded by saying we have been jumping from multiple topics but we haven't delved "deep" into any of them yet. While that sounds reasonable, I legitimately can't think of anything I haven't told him yet that could somehow make any of our future discussions be more "hard-hitting" and "enlightening."

TL:Dr I don't dislike my therapist, I just feel like we're wasting time and aren't really having that productive of conversations anymore. My life is the same whether I go to him or not - so what's the point?