u/SignificanceSad7630

I just need to vent about a really weird interaction that has left me completely baffled. I am 35M (gay, if that matters) There’s this woman (29F) I met twice at an event a while back. We added each other on Instagram and over the years, we’d occasionally chat in the DMs. She was recently visiting my town with her mother and she actually messaged me before her trip saying we should link up. We made plans to meet.

On the evening we were supposed to hang out, she messaged me saying she had just returned to her hotel. I replied right away letting her know I was on my way to come pick her up. Suddenly, she hits me with a text saying "sorry, is it possible if we could meet tomorrow morning instead i need to help my mom with something, not sure how long it's gonna take".

I told her, "Unfortunately I’m not available in the morning, but I’ll be up late tonight. If you finish whatever you need to do and are still down, just let me know."

She left that message on unread. I thought okay, fine, maybe she's busy. But literally minutes later, she starts posting on her Instagram stories. I tapped on them and saw she was actively reposting stories she’d been tagged in. That made me pause. Unless I’m misunderstanding how Instagram works, wouldn’t she have had to open her DMs to see those tags and repost them? If so, surely she would’ve noticed my unread message sitting there.

The next morning, I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. I sent her one last text: “Hey, gutted that we didn’t get to meet last night! What time’s your flight today? Perhaps I can catch you at the airport?”

Once again... completely left on unread. Meanwhile, she spent the whole day reposting story after story.

I’m just genuinely confused. I don't get the whole dodging my messages while being hyper-active on the exact platform we are communicating on? And we didn't even finish the convo, you know what I mean? It feels incredibly rude.

How do I process this?

I just need to vent about a really weird interaction that has left me completely baffled. I am 35M (gay, if that matters) There’s this woman (29F) I met twice at an event a while back. We added each other on Instagram and over the years, we’d occasionally chat in the DMs. She was recently visiting my town with her mother and she actually messaged me before her trip saying we should link up. We made plans to meet.

On the evening we were supposed to hang out, she messaged me saying she had just returned to her hotel. I replied right away letting her know I was on my way to come pick her up. Suddenly, she hits me with a text saying "sorry, is it possible if we could meet tomorrow morning instead i need to help my mom with something, not sure how long it's gonna take".

I told her, "Unfortunately I’m not available in the morning, but I’ll be up late tonight. If you finish whatever you need to do and are still down, just let me know."

She left that message on unread. I thought okay, fine, maybe she's busy. But literally minutes later, she starts posting on her Instagram stories. I tapped on them and saw she was actively reposting stories she’d been tagged in. That made me pause. Unless I’m misunderstanding how Instagram works, wouldn’t she have had to open her DMs to see those tags and repost them? If so, surely she would’ve noticed my unread message sitting there.

The next morning, I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. I sent her one last text: “Hey, gutted that we didn’t get to meet last night! What time’s your flight today? Perhaps I can catch you at the airport?”

Once again... completely left on unread. Meanwhile, she spent the whole day reposting story after story.

I’m just genuinely confused. I don't get the whole dodging my messages while being hyper-active on the exact platform we are communicating on? And we didn't even finish the convo, you know what I mean? It feels incredibly rude.

How do I process this?

I just need to vent about a really weird interaction that has left me completely baffled. I am 35M (gay, if that matters) There’s this woman (29F) I met twice at an event a while back. We added each other on Instagram and over the years, we’d occasionally chat in the DMs. She was recently visiting my town with her mother and she actually messaged me before her trip saying we should link up. We made plans to meet.

On the evening we were supposed to hang out, she messaged me saying she had just returned to her hotel. I replied right away letting her know I was on my way to come pick her up. Suddenly, she hits me with a text saying "sorry, is it possible if we could meet tomorrow morning instead i need to help my mom with something, not sure how long it's gonna take".

I told her, "Unfortunately I’m not available in the morning, but I’ll be up late tonight. If you finish whatever you need to do and are still down, just let me know."

She left that message on unread. I thought okay, fine, maybe she's busy. But literally minutes later, she starts posting on her Instagram stories. I tapped on them and saw she was actively reposting stories she’d been tagged in. That made me pause. Unless I’m misunderstanding how Instagram works, wouldn’t she have had to open her DMs to see those tags and repost them? If so, surely she would’ve noticed my unread message sitting there.

The next morning, I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. I sent her one last text: “Hey, gutted that we didn’t get to meet last night! What time’s your flight today? Perhaps I can catch you at the airport?”

Once again... completely left on unread. Meanwhile, she spent the whole day reposting story after story.

I’m just genuinely confused. I don't get the whole dodging my messages while being hyper-active on the exact platform we are communicating on? And we didn't even finish the convo, you know what I mean? It feels incredibly rude.

How do I process this?

I made plans with a co-worker to go out after knowing her for about a year. On the morning we were supposed to meet, she even texted me to make sure I was awake. Literally 5 minutes before I was about to leave and pick her up, she called to say she was, get this... Too LAZY to leave home and cancelled. I was already in the "going out" mindset that i decided to do things on my own instead... Ever since thay day, I stopped making plans with her but we remained friendly.

**edited and added "and cancelled". Just realized it didn't make much sense in the begining.

2025 was a very strange year for me. People who are closest to me suddenly turn their back on me without me even trying to ruin the relationship. It feels very odd. They started accusing me of some completely out of my character. The pain is indescribable. I cried for months asking allah for healing. To help ease the pain, I've started watching those islamic motivation YouTube videos. Is there a reason why god took away the people i care from me and made them turn their back on me?

This is a dumb question but if sea animals like dolphins, whalesetc. are air breathing animals, why are they created to live in water? Like, atleast sea lions or turtles can go on land and stay there. But dolphins and whales have no choice but to go to the surface and breath every now and then. Just a random thought on a Monday

I can't seem to wrap my head around how some people prioritize social media above everything else.

People will literally post stories and interact with everyone in their comment section but won't reply to a direct text OR a DM. It's at the point where I feel like I'd have a better shot at getting a response if I commented on their public posts but obviously, it would look incredibly weird if I went, "Hey, are you available on Tuesday?" under a completely unrelated photo.

It’s baffling how direct communication has become the lowest priority for people nowadays. I would say most of my text messages often goes un-replied and I would see them posting on instagram/social media replying to EVERY single comment.

Shandra 29F is barely given any work yet she has the audacity to complain about everything. It is genuinely infuriating. On the rare occasions she actually gets assigned a task, she completely fucks it up and then blames literally everyone but herself.

For context, I joined this company about three years ago. I know every workplace has its flaws but this is by far the best job I've ever had. We get great pay, a highly manageable workload, and a fantastic work-life balance. Our boss is incredibly understanding & honestly, the kind of manager people dream of having.

Shandra, on the other hand is younger with barely any professional experience, yet she acts like this is the worst job on earth. I try to give her some grace because she doesn't know what it's actually like out there and has nothing to compare it to but her attitude makes it impossible. She has zero initiative and absolutely no willingness to learn. If you try to give her constructive feedback her response is basically to imply she's better than everyone else.

The most mind-boggling part? She constantly complains about how much she wants to leave. She was actually offered other jobs but she declined them. Her excuse? She claims she is.. get this.. too "LOYAL."

SHE KNOWS she would never get away with this kind of behavior anywhere else, so why can't she just shut up? To this day, she continues to be a massive burden to everyone in the office. I just wish she would take one of those offers and leave. She desperately needs a reality check and a lesson in gratitude.

Why are human beings wired to focus entirely on the negative and completely disregard the good things people do for them? It's wild how someone can literally erase years of an amazing friendship the moment you did something bad.

Is anyone else baffled by this?

Why are human beings wired to focus entirely on the negative and completely disregard the good things people do for them? It's wild how someone can literally erase years of an amazing friendship the moment you did something bad.

Is anyone else baffled by this?

I'd like to believe that my intentions are pure. I genuinely feel happy when the people closest to me are happy. I don't have a jealous bone in my body. If a friend succeeds, I am proud of them, even if it means they get an opportunity I wanted. I've gone out of my way for people more times than I can count.

But lately, I’ve noticed a painful pattern. Whenever I find myself on the receiving end, the people I love rarely have my back. I’m not asking anyone to bend over backwards for me, I’m talking about simple, basic favors. I'll give a few examples

1. Friend #1 : I put in a good word for a friend when she desperately needed a job and she’s now very successful at that company. But when I lost my job during the pandemic and asked her for a referral at her company, I could immediately sense she was being half-hearted about it.
2. Friend #2 : I drove out at 3 AM to help a friend stuck at the airport due to a travel ban. Later, she developed a conspiracy theory that her ex-husband was paying me to spy on her. She cut me off and later tried to apologize while still blaming me.
3. Friend #3 : This friend always counts on me for financial help. I help whenever I can and expect nothing in return. She hasn’t paid me back in full in years but I didn't care because I figured she needed it more than me and seeing her happy made me happy. I even took her on trips and paid for everything. Then, out of the blue, she accused me of something I didn't do and immediately cut me off without letting me say a word. The fact that she did that while still owing me money deeply hurts.
4. Friend #4 : Had an extra car that I was waiting to sell, so I lent it to a friend in the meantime. She drove it for free for months only to turn around and make up a story about how I "abandoned" her.

The hardest part is that the day-to-day memories with these people were amazing. We laughed, we had great times and the bonds felt real.

I'd like to believe that my intentions are pure. I genuinely feel happy when the people closest to me are happy. I don't have a jealous bone in my body. If a friend succeeds, I am proud of them, even if it means they get an opportunity I wanted. I've gone out of my way for people more times than I can count.

But lately, I’ve noticed a painful pattern. Whenever I find myself on the receiving end, the people I love rarely have my back. I’m not asking anyone to bend over backwards for me, I’m talking about simple, basic favors. I'll give a few examples

1. Friend #1 : I put in a good word for a friend when she desperately needed a job and she’s now very successful at that company. But when I lost my job during the pandemic and asked her for a referral at her company, I could immediately sense she was being half-hearted about it.
2. Friend #2 : I drove out at 3 AM to help a friend stuck at the airport due to a travel ban. Later, she developed a conspiracy theory that her ex-husband was paying me to spy on her. She cut me off and later tried to apologize while still blaming me.
3. Friend #3 : This friend always counts on me for financial help. I help whenever I can and expect nothing in return. She hasn’t paid me back in full in years but I didn't care because I figured she needed it more than me and seeing her happy made me happy. I even took her on trips and paid for everything. Then, out of the blue, she accused me of something I didn't do and immediately cut me off without letting me say a word. The fact that she did that while still owing me money deeply hurts.
4. Friend #4 : Had an extra car that I was waiting to sell, so I lent it to a friend in the meantime. She drove it for free for months only to turn around and make up a story about how I "abandoned" her.

The hardest part is that the day-to-day memories with these people were amazing. We laughed, we had great times and the bonds felt real.

I’ve never told anyone this. Not my family, not my closest friends. I’ve been carrying this around for most of my adult life, and I honestly don’t know where else to turn. 

I’m a 35M and for the last 15 years I’ve been dealing with what I strongly suspect is a chronic bacterial infection, possibly syphilis, although I’ve never been able to prove it. 

It all started after my very first sexual encounter when I was around 20 years old. I developed symptoms that seemed to match syphilis, but one thing that always stuck with me was this bizarre sensation where I’d wake up suddenly as if something had jolted my brain. It’s incredibly difficult to describe, but I could physically feel that something wasn’t right and that was during the very early stage.

I went to a doctor and without ordering any tests, he immediately gave me an antibiotic injection. If I remember correctly, it was a strong type of antibiotic called cefotaxime. I actually tried to stop him and asked, “Shouldn’t I be getting penicillin instead?” He replied, “Who’s the doctor here?” 

Ironically, I felt dramatically better almost immediately. I genuinely thought I was cured. 

About a week later, the symptoms slowly returned, although much milder than before. 

Over the years I’ve seen multiple doctors, only to be told things like, “It’s all in your head,” “You look fine,” or “There’s nothing to worry about.” 

I was determined to find answers so I started ordering tests myself. I’ve had RPR, VDRL, TPHA (all the different types of Syphilis tests), full STD panels including HIV and everything has come back negative. On paper, I’m healthy. But I know my own body and I know something ain't right. 

At one point I came across cytomegalovirus (CMV) while researching and decided to get tested. It came back positive, but what confuses me was that almost none of the symptoms seemed to match what I’d been experiencing. BIZARRE

One thing that has always stood out to me is how consistently I seem to respond to antibiotics. For example, when I was prescribed azithromycin for strep throat, I suddenly felt almost completely normal again. Then, once the course ended, everything gradually came back and it’s one of the reasons I’ve always wondered if this could be bacterial rather than viral. 

Lately I’ve even found myself wondering whether whatever this is has become resistant to treatment, because antibiotics don't work with me anymore. 

The symptoms have progressed very slowly over the years. The only objective finding I’ve ever had is the development of persistent eye floaters. An eye specialist actually took my concerns seriously and referred me to an infectious disease specialist, but that appointment was devastating. He barely examined me, looked at me for a moment and simply said, “You look fine. There’s nothing to worry about.” 

After enough experiences like that, I stopped trying to convince people. I focused on staying healthy, taking supplements, and getting on with life. 

But recently things feel different. My memory has deteriorated. I struggle to find words. I’m exhausted all the time and can sleep for hours but still wake up feeling unrefreshed. Even simple tasks feel difficult. My energy disappears so quickly that I feel like I need to sleep every few hours. 

The strangest part is that it fluctuates. Some days I feel almost normal, other days I feel like sh*t. 

My vision has probably been affected the most. It’s blurry, I have persistent floaters, and I often feel pressure behind my eyes especially when I look at bright lights. Sometimes I would see flashes of lights. It's scary AF and if you look up, it's one of the symptoms of occular syphilis. Doctors have suggested I simply need glasses, but the blurriness isn’t constant. Some days my vision is perfectly clear and other days it’s noticeably worse, which makes me feel like there's hope.

I’ve read about latent syphilis and neurosyphilis and can’t help wondering if that’s what’s happening despite all the negative tests. Maybe it’s not syphilis at all. Maybe every test is right and I’m chasing the wrong diagnosis entirely. 

At this point, I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that I don’t feel normal anymore. 

At 35, I should be building my future, not feeling like my own body and mind are slowly slipping away from me. 

Has anyone experienced anything remotely similar or gone through years of unexplained symptoms before finally getting an answer? 

And if anyone knows of an infectious disease or syphilis specialist with a reputation for handling difficult or unusual cases, anywhere in the world, I’d genuinely appreciate the recommendation. I’ve saved up money and I’m willing to travel if it means finally finding answers. Appreciate it

 

I’ve never told anyone this. Not my family, not my closest friends. I’ve been carrying this around for most of my adult life, and I honestly don’t know where else to turn. 

I’m a 35M and for the last 15 years I’ve been dealing with what I strongly suspect is a chronic bacterial infection, possibly syphilis, although I’ve never been able to prove it. 

It all started after my very first sexual encounter when I was around 20 years old. I developed symptoms that seemed to match syphilis, but one thing that always stuck with me was this bizarre sensation where I’d wake up suddenly as if something had jolted my brain. It’s incredibly difficult to describe, but I could physically feel that something wasn’t right and that was during the very early stage.

I went to a doctor and without ordering any tests, he immediately gave me an antibiotic injection. If I remember correctly, it was a strong type of antibiotic called cefotaxime. I actually tried to stop him and asked, “Shouldn’t I be getting penicillin instead?” He replied, “Who’s the doctor here?” 

Ironically, I felt dramatically better almost immediately. I genuinely thought I was cured. 

About a week later, the symptoms slowly returned, although much milder than before. 

Over the years I’ve seen multiple doctors, only to be told things like, “It’s all in your head,” “You look fine,” or “There’s nothing to worry about.” 

I was determined to find answers so I started ordering tests myself. I’ve had RPR, VDRL, TPHA (all the different types of Syphilis tests), full STD panels including HIV and everything has come back negative. On paper, I’m healthy. But I know my own body and I know something ain't right. 

At one point I came across cytomegalovirus (CMV) while researching and decided to get tested. It came back positive, but what confuses me was that almost none of the symptoms seemed to match what I’d been experiencing. BIZARRE

One thing that has always stood out to me is how consistently I seem to respond to antibiotics. For example, when I was prescribed azithromycin for strep throat, I suddenly felt almost completely normal again. Then, once the course ended, everything gradually came back and it’s one of the reasons I’ve always wondered if this could be bacterial rather than viral. 

Lately I’ve even found myself wondering whether whatever this is has become resistant to treatment, because antibiotics don't work with me anymore. 

The symptoms have progressed very slowly over the years. The only objective finding I’ve ever had is the development of persistent eye floaters. An eye specialist actually took my concerns seriously and referred me to an infectious disease specialist, but that appointment was devastating. He barely examined me, looked at me for a moment and simply said, “You look fine. There’s nothing to worry about.” 

After enough experiences like that, I stopped trying to convince people. I focused on staying healthy, taking supplements, and getting on with life. 

But recently things feel different. My memory has deteriorated. I struggle to find words. I’m exhausted all the time and can sleep for hours but still wake up feeling unrefreshed. Even simple tasks feel difficult. My energy disappears so quickly that I feel like I need to sleep every few hours. 

The strangest part is that it fluctuates. Some days I feel almost normal, other days I feel like sh*t. 

My vision has probably been affected the most. It’s blurry, I have persistent floaters, and I often feel pressure behind my eyes especially when I look at bright lights. Sometimes I would see flashes of lights. It's scary AF and if you look up, it's one of the symptoms of occular syphilis. Doctors have suggested I simply need glasses, but the blurriness isn’t constant. Some days my vision is perfectly clear and other days it’s noticeably worse, which makes me feel like there's hope.

I’ve read about latent syphilis and neurosyphilis and can’t help wondering if that’s what’s happening despite all the negative tests. Maybe it’s not syphilis at all. Maybe every test is right and I’m chasing the wrong diagnosis entirely. 

At this point, I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that I don’t feel normal anymore. 

At 35, I should be building my future, not feeling like my own body and mind are slowly slipping away from me. 

Has anyone experienced anything remotely similar or gone through years of unexplained symptoms before finally getting an answer? 

And if anyone knows of an infectious disease or syphilis specialist with a reputation for handling difficult or unusual cases, anywhere in the world, I’d genuinely appreciate the recommendation. I’ve saved up money and I’m willing to travel if it means finally finding answers. Appreciate it

 **just wanna add on, I forgot to mention that it also affected my hearing as well. I hear ringing sounds that I learn to ignore over the years but I think it's getting bad.