r/empathy

Does anyone else feel like there’s no reciprocity?

I feel like I put in all this energy and get nothing back, I paid for college I paid for my welding certifications I paid for my personal training certification
I feel like I pay to take up space and no one pays me
I feel like I pick out really great gifts I feel like I put everything into this cheese plate for the party I feel like I dish out compliments like nobody is watching
And it’s really like NOBODY IS WATCHING

I’m waiting on the day everything collapses for me because no one actually acknowledges what it took to be here does that make sense? Is that just a guy thing or something?

I'm noticing a lack of empathy just in general from people. I'm currently in a rough spot in life, and I'm simply looking for empathy and encouragement from people to help pull me out of my rut. but when i open up to people, I'm met with passive aggressiveness or just talked down to. I'm not asking for anyone to fix my problems. I just want to hear something like " what you're going through sounds troubling. i hear how frustrated and defeated you must feel" or just something to that effect. i just wanna know that someone can put themselves in my shoes and see how rough of a time im currently having. and yes im aware, " It WoNt LaSt FoReVeR" and every other dismissive statement ive heard..

Okay, this will be long so brace with me, alright? So, as the title suggests, I have a difficult time feeling empathy, not only to people but also towards situations. I was generally a very empathetic kid when I was young, I wore my heart on my sleeve I would say—I wanted to fix the problems of everyone and everything in the world, and I had the aspiration to do as much good in the world as a person possibly could.

Whenever I heard about accidents, crises and general injustice happening in the world, I would always ask my parents/aunts etc. if there was ANYTHING I could possibly do at my young age. I was always told that there's nothing we could do, that's just how the world was and stuff like that. I suppose in my early teenage years I went through tons of fake friendships so that damaged me a little, I guess??

Today I really do try my best to care, for people and the world, but find it difficult to find the empathy points. Whenever I hear about misfortune happening to people, I say I feel sorry, and that the world needs to get better or something, but even if I imagine it happening to myself, I find it that I don't care much. When it's about climate change, the data centers being built and polluting our world, I try to do my research and spread awareness, but my main thought in the end is that the world is going to shambles and we're going to die in a few years anyway.

Is there anyway I can improve myself as a person? I wouldn't generally say I'm apathetic, nor that I have some mental disorder, but I might be wrong as I'm in no place to get therapy or a diagnosis. Any answer or advice is appreciated.

Can’t believe i searched up the best suitable topic on reddit to type this because i don’t know where else to say or who to say it with, but i cried for hours over a stranger online (specifically on Thread) i came across this one person’s comment, she commented something like “i hope one day someone decorate my grave this way” and further down i saw all the replies with “rest in peace”, btw it’s in my native language i just do direct translation sorry if its weird, then i was like “oh….this person passed away” then i further researched what was the caused, she passed away due to stage 4 of cancer💔

The reaching point that made me bawled my eyes out was firstly, she has 2 childrens, both are still so young too, secondly when her medicine cost her around 44k+ (my currency) thats like roughly 10k++ in USD, gladly the donation reached the goal, she got and took the medicine but……😢 cancer got to her first i supposed, so thats when i started to cry non stop for a stranger

The point is, what level of empathy am i reaching for crying over a stranger? what is this feeling that i can’t describe, over a person that i never even met or talk? so sad that most people die from cancer, but at least she is no longer in pain, may she rest in peace, you don’t have to suffer anymore :(

I am a person who only thinks of myself and won’t/don’t put myself in another’s place and feel what they are feeling because of the hurt I cause them. I say I’m sorry but I don’t feel the way I should for them, I will also say that I won’t do it again but I do. I want others to feel empathy for me when my feelings get hurt or I’m sad. Is there anyone who has been like I am and what/how did you do to get better and build empathy towards and for others?

Anybody else feeling tired and hopeless of what all is going on? You ever wonder why the world is so cruel? And you just wish to live a slow and peaceful life sometimes?

There is a reason I usually try to stay away from politics as it takes a toll on my mental health when I see injustice and brutality. I can't stop my tears when I see someone being wronged and crying while I am sitting comfortably in my AC room. Had I been born in their place, I too would have been suffering like them. Last few days have been too stimulating and hectic due to politics tensions in my country which I am following a bit too closely.

Now I am just tired fr. I never really had any friends honestly as I like to stay by myself since I don't get along with people usually. Anyone else feeling the same? Wanna talk?

Today, I told a laid-off-co-worker of mine to apply for the same job I applied for, I am deep into the interview and there are multiple positions open. He has experience that could be competing, but he has three small children and I could not overlook trying to help him. We both need work after layoffs. I hope both of us get hired in this ugly and terrible job market. Karma, go do your thing!

It saddens that many people find it hard to open up about their pain and suffering because they think that their pain is "lame" or "not serious" compared to other people who have suffered far more and worse .

today i took the bus and a woman was sitting in front of me. after a bit i noticed she was crying. she looked sad and she was looking at her phone or outside the window, i think to stop herself from crying. i wanted to ask her if she was ok and if she wanted to talk a few minutes but i didn't know how. i didn't want to seem like i was snooping or invading her privacy. i offered her a tissue to dry her eyes and she smiled. she got up to go out the bus and she looked back at me smiling one more time. i can't keep wondering if she would've been glad if i had asked her if she was ok. Online people always say that it can take just one person noticing you, your emotions and your existance to feel better but in the moment you never know. i feel like i could've done something but i ended up being one of the many that stand back and do nothing.

I really dont feel any empathy, and I've avoided thinking about it and talking about it especially because it really sounds like I'm trying to be tough like 'I don't feel emotions. I'm a psychopath.' but the more I think about it I really dont care about a lot of things I probably should care about.

I know I'm not a psychopath because I do feel emotions, just very minimal when it's to other people.

My friends made a list on all the things they hate about me and I cried, but then I just didn't care. I know they wanted me to change for the better, but I really couldn't be bothered. I haven't cared about a lot in a while, even when bad things happened to other people, I just feel pissed because they're telling me about it.

For example, I was talking to a friend while playing games, and he suddenly started talking about how he was hurt by my words and actions because I was being mean to him, but all I cared about was how annoying he sounded and how he wasn't performing well in game. I think in really selfish because I don't care about things if they don't affect me. Like I'll be worried if someone thinks I'm a bad person, but only because it affects my reputation. Does that make me a bad person? I guess, but then again, if I tell someone, they'll think I'm horrible or they'll say a bunch of stuff about me and I genuinely can't be bothered. I don't even want to reply to people. I don't care what they have to say if they're not going to affect what other people think of me, but I'm posting because I'm worried. Is this normal? is it because I'm depressed or because I'm autistic? (I'm diagnosed professionally, not asking for a diagnosis)

I've worked here for 10 years, and I always wondered how my narcissist coworker has worked here for 29yrs and still hasn't achieved mastery of this job.

I've written about Rachel already, and I have a plan to deal with her--This is just a reflection.

I finally figured it out.

Learning requires you to care about things, people, and even about quality and excellence.

I have always been a good learner, and I think it's because as an empath, I care about just about everything, and I think a narcissist would experience the opposite, and this in turn fuels even more rage and envy in them.

So i feel like everyone at one point or another imagines what they would do if someone tried to cause harm to them. Well in my case i have very high anxiety so it happens a-lot. My problem is im very empathetic. I mean to the point i feel bad when the criminal gets beat or hurt in some way. Not necessarily when they get caught but i do catch myself thinking that, that is someone’s child and when they were a kid they never thought life would be like this. So my problem is no matter what i imagine in my little head i truly don’t think i could take someone’s life to save myself or someone i love. The guilt would eat me alive for the rest of my life. I don’t even think i could pepper spray someone to get out of a dangerous situation. The absolute agony they would be in, would make me want to help them. It’s like i walk around with pre-downloaded Stockholm syndrome. How do i change this mindset and what is your take on this? Just curious.

I hear this, and I understand the peace it gives to believe it. And I also think it's only half true. Yes, you cannot live someone's life for them. You cannot metabolize their grief for them, you cannot force clarity on them before they're ready to hold it. But to say "you cannot save anyone" is just a really well-packaged way to absolve ourselves of the impact we actually do have on each other.

You can save someone. Not forever. Not from themselves. But you can save them in a moment.You can save someone from drowning in a single afternoon by answering the phone. By staying when everyone else made their pain too inconvenient. By offering more than just your grounded presence, by offering your intervention. Your honesty when they are lying to themselves. Your hand when they don't have the strength to ask for it. Presence alone is passive. People don't need another peaceful person sitting across from them watching them suffer. They need someone willing to get in the mud with them for a bit. We don't find our own answers in a vacuum. We found them because someone loved us well enough, challenged us clearly enough, held us long enough, that we finally had enough safety and enough truth to find our own way out. You can't walk their path for them, that's true.

But you can absolutely illuminate it. You can clear some of the brush. You can walk with them until their legs remember how.

No, you are not their savior. But we do save each other. In small, real, human increments. Every day. It is what it is, yes. But what it is, is that we are deeply responsible for each other...Just sayin'