u/Sky_Maxwell

Hi all! So yesterday I had an interaction with my step dad and I want to see if he’s right or wrong.

So, for context, I (F19) am dating a guy, Brad (M25). My mom and step dad aren’t aware that we’re dating yet as it’s extremely new (we got together literally last Sunday) so as far as they know, Brad is my just my friend. Me and Brad don’t see a problem with our age gap, and neither do my mom or Brad’s friends.

Yesterday, on a last minute decision, I decided to go out with Brad. Brad suggested we get drinks (I misinterpreted what he meant because I thought he meant we’d go to the pub across from where he lives, when he actually meant we go to the shop and get drinks for the hot weather. I’m autistic and he wasn’t clear lol)

So, I informed my mom and step dad that we were going to go to the pub and having a few drinks. When my mom left the room, my step dad went on a tirade about how I should “be careful with Brad”. I’m not sure who told him as it wasn’t me, but someone told my step dad Brad’s age (there’s six and a half years between us because Brad turns 26 in August and I turn 20 in March).

My step dad then continued his tirade and said that Brad was “preying on a young girl” or something along those lines. And then he proceeded to say that he “wouldn’t have any problem b-rying Brad” and threatened to beat the sh-t out of Brad.

My mom walked in during this tirade and, in a lighthearted way, tried to de-escalate my step dad by saying “Now, now”. But my step dad said “No. You might be okay with this but I’m not.” Bear in mind, he’s not legally my step dad yet as he and my mom aren’t actually married yet, but it’s easier to call him my step dad for the purpose of this post.

Me and my step dad have never had a conversation about what he’d deem an acceptable age gap for me but my mom said that for my current age, no older than 26 for me because she’s 35 and her mother (my Nana) has a history of going for men that are barely legal (as in just turned eighteen) or that are like ten, twenty years older than her, so my mom is very strict on age gaps. Me and my step are also not that close.

I pursued Brad, not the other way around.

Brad has been with women his age/closer to his age but he actually hasn’t been in a lot of serious relationships, not as many as people would think anyways, because he’s also had struggles (homelessness, abuse, and financial problems) so he hasn’t dated as much as most people his age, and has about the same experience as I do with relationships. The woman he has been with that was his only serious relationship was abusive. Physically, verbally, and financially. Brad has a restraining order against his ex, which I have seen proof of.

My step dad has never met Brad so I don’t think it’s fair for my step dad to judge him and say what he said about Brad. My mom spoke to my step dad whilst me and Brad were out yesterday and my step dad wants to do a background check on Brad, as that is the only way he’ll be okay with the age gap, which I completely understand and have agreed to (my mom and I spoke about it earlier today when we were food shopping).

I am not dependent on Brad in anyway, I have my own job as a carer doing in home care. The area I live in has many bus routes that go to lots of different places, so I’m not reliant on him for travel. We met through a mutual friend (25F) of ours when I was hanging out with her in town, I met our mutual friend at college, I live in England.

I’ve also met some of Brad’s friends (he lives in shared accommodation but everyone has their own bedroom) and his friends are okay with the age gap. My mom is also okay with the age gap, provided that the background check doesn’t bring anything viol-nt or s-xual up.

So is my step dad wrong or am I wrong?

You can choose more than one! I’m doing a rewatch of Charmed, currently I’m on S2 Ep5. For me, so far, the funniest line and scene is when Prue’s a man and she kills the succubus.

Her line of “Not to me you’re not, bitch” before using her telekinesis to kill the succubus after the succubus says “You can’t reject me! I’m irresistible!”

Following that line, I also found the scene where Prue turned back into a woman and did a little happy dance whilst holding her boobs was funny too.

What about y’all?