u/Slight_Design_1294

Looking for advice as UK citizen

Hello all! I’m sure if this is the right place to be messaging but I was looking for advice on moving to comox valley as a uk citizen? I’ve got my WHV and need to come before may next year, I was hoping to get some help in terms of jobs and work. Besides from looking on indeed and Canadian job bank, what else would be a good way to look for work? I’m a barber, willing to do manual labour, vine yard, dock work, tree planting, anything really! Any advice would be great! Thank you

Hello all! I’m sure if this is the right place to be messaging but I was looking for advice on moving to comox valley as a uk citizen? I’ve got my WHV and need to come before may next year, I was hoping to get some help in terms of jobs and work. Besides from looking on indeed and Canadian job bank, what else would be a good way to look for work? I’m a barber, willing to do manual labour, vine yard, dock work, tree planting, anything really! Any advice would be great! Thank you

Had a mental health team reach out after two years

29M

So I had a mental health team reach out to me after two years of not hearing from them, they asked me to come in and have a chat. My situation is that I’ve been unemployed and living with my parents in that time. I used to cut hair but it took such a toll on me that I decided to pack it in. I’ve been drinking excessively since then too.

I got a letter back, a review of you will and i feel like it completely misses out what I feel. I told them I was depressed and I think I have bipolar or something along the lines of, doesn’t talk about how I don’t feel real and that I don’t think my body belongs to me and that I feel disconnected from reality and that this body isn’t mine. How everything feels like a dream. That I’ve been dissociated. idk because they won’t look further into it! It frustrates me so much because for several years I’ve been back and forth with them. If they actually listened and did something, maybe they’d actually get some where?! All it talks about is my “low mood and anxiety, I’m withdrawn from sociallizing” doesn’t mention anything about my ST, my inability to go out and talk to people because I’m so anxious and nervous, that I have zero confidence in anything I do. the lack of drive for life, the no libido. No desire to do anything

Then it just talks about how I was diagnosed with Austim when I was a child, like is that all I’m seen as. Just an autistic. The amount of people that have asked me if I ADHD, if I had a pound every time someone asked me that I’d be a millionaire.

I KNOW, my situation isn’t as bad and I have loving parents and a roof over my head. But for them to just turn around and say, oh take some Sertraline that’ll do. Do you really think I’m going just start taking pills without any further investigation? no I’m not going to pay for that might not even work. For years I’ve just asked them to give me some counselling that lasts more than 6 weeks, do you think I’m going to be cured in 6 for 1 hour of the weeks?!

I know all I need to do is just get up and do something in order to be productive. Ive practically stopped drinking and working on quitting smoking but for gods sake. I feel like a broken record with these people. I’m sure everyone feels the same but Jesus.

Idk what to do anymore

So a bit of a sob story but I need some advice when I was 20. I was in copious amounts of drugs and alcohol and I was generally insufferable to be with and to work around. I started my career off as an incredibly anxious and unconfident young man a lot of bosses and mentors could see that and basically took advantage of it delaying education delaying me to get onto the shop floor and paying me next to nothing, I didn’t help myself but I kept going. I kept trying with it. I’d have bosses shout at me on the shop floor in front of customers and didn’t help with my confidence, but yeah, I was intolerable to be around. Even when I did get better with my work, my career, I’m still lacked in confidence bring it up to about two years ago and I basically crashed and burned. I was so insecure about my work and kept having this mental block that wasn’t good enough and that my work wasn’t up to scratch. I basically left and decided that Barbering wasn’t for me, but I still do a lot of clients on the side and I’ve been bouncing from job to job all my clients still sing my praises and all of them have said that I need to get back into a barbershop because I’m good, basically a humble brag.

A guy who used to work with a mate of mine asked me to come work at his shop he was super relaxed super chill. He really likes what I was doing in terms of cutting hair but the only issue was I was filling in days here and there still wasn’t making enough to survive, with my personal life as well. A lot of things were going on and I just basically crashed and decided to leave still on good terms. But he made an offer for the other day to come back to the shop and basically take over his client base as he’s looking to take step back and expand his business the money he’s offering me is a hell of a lot more than I’ve ever been on in my entire barbering career and better than the minimum wage jobs I’m doing, for only 4 days of work I’d be making two months salary in one

Throughout my career I’ve basically just been on drugs emotional insufferable intolerable to be around. I’d snap easily and react to the most minor things and it made me hard to work with but a lot of it was due to the fact I was had no confidence with my personal life, I’ve basically got sober started exercising and just generally having a more positive outlook on life and generally doing a hell of a lot better than where I once was before, but I feel like the only thing holding me back now is my confidence and that fear of judgement from others and about my work I don’t really know how I can get past it. it’s easier to say, just stop giving a fuck but there’s a part of me that still does and that it’s embedded into me, I want to be able to let that go so I can enjoy barbering and get back into it cause I feel like this is this is honestly the last piece of the puzzle. I’ve become confident in so many aspects of my life apart from this which I’ve nearly been doing it for 10 years now. I do love barbering the aspect of seeing different people hearing different stories and putting a smile on peoples faces when getting them given them a haircut, but it’s just my confidence which I just need to work on and it’s honestly the last thing that I think could change I don’t know how to end it but how can I get over this mental block of my work isn’t good enough and being scared of judgement. I’m 29 now and this is a very brief run down, I could put in here, but no one wants to read an essay

So a bit of a sob story but I need some advice when I was 20. I was in copious amounts of drugs and alcohol and I was generally insufferable to be with and to work around. I started my career off as an incredibly anxious and unconfident young man a lot of bosses and mentors could see that and basically took advantage of it delaying education delaying me to get onto the shop floor and paying me next to nothing, I didn’t help myself but I kept going. I kept trying with it. I’d have bosses shout at me on the shop floor in front of customers and didn’t help with my confidence, but yeah, I was intolerable to be around. Even when I did get better with my work, my career, I’m still lacked in confidence bring it up to about two years ago and I basically crashed and burned. I was so insecure about my work and kept having this mental block that wasn’t good enough and that my work wasn’t up to scratch. I basically left and decided that Barbering wasn’t for me, but I still do a lot of clients on the side and I’ve been bouncing from job to job all my clients still sing my praises and all of them have said that I need to get back into a barbershop because I’m good, basically a humble brag.

A guy who used to work with a mate of mine asked me to come work at his shop he was super relaxed super chill. He really likes what I was doing in terms of cutting hair but the only issue was I was filling in days here and there still wasn’t making enough to survive, with my personal life as well. A lot of things were going on and I just basically crashed and decided to leave still on good terms. But he made an offer for the other day to come back to the shop and basically take over his client base as he’s looking to take step back and expand his business the money he’s offering me is a hell of a lot more than I’ve ever been on in my entire barbering career and better than the minimum wage jobs I’m doing, for only 4 days of work I’d be making two months salary in one

Throughout my career I’ve basically just been on drugs emotional insufferable intolerable to be around. I’d snap easily and react to the most minor things and it made me hard to work with but a lot of it was due to the fact I was had no confidence with my personal life, I’ve basically got sober started exercising and just generally having a more positive outlook on life and generally doing a hell of a lot better than where I once was before, but I feel like the only thing holding me back now is my confidence and that fear of judgement from others and about my work I don’t really know how I can get past it. it’s easier to say, just stop giving a fuck but there’s a part of me that still does and that it’s embedded into me, I want to be able to let that go so I can enjoy barbering and get back into it cause I feel like this is this is honestly the last piece of the puzzle. I’ve become confident in so many aspects of my life apart from this which I’ve nearly been doing it for 10 years now. I do love barbering the aspect of seeing different people hearing different stories and putting a smile on peoples faces when getting them given them a haircut, but it’s just my confidence which I just need to work on and it’s honestly the last thing that I think could change I don’t know how to end it but how can I get over this mental block of my work isn’t good enough and being scared of judgement. I’m 29 now

im 29, all ive done is barbering since ive left school and i left in janurary, since then ive been unemployed, but ive decided to knock it on the head as ive just fallen out of love with it completely and dont want to return to it. ive got all i need for GCSE's. maths, english etc. ive worked in hospitality along side it too, working in bars, resturants, pubs, cafes, retail, labouring.

ive also signed on to job seekers (not my proudest momement) but even with the temp agencies i cant get any work, i got turned down from two jobs because i dont live in the postcode area, which is less than a ten minute drive! and the jobs that theyre suggesting arent responding to my applications either, these are warehouse jobs, night shift work, packing jobs & some how still cant find anywork.

ive gone over my CV multiple times, having chat gpt to word it better, make it stand out more, ive reworked it myself. ive also had a family member who works in recruitment go over it and still im getting rejected or ignored.

i know everyone else is in the same boat, but it clearly seems like im doing something wrong.

the jobs i want and desire i believe arent within my reach, requiring university degrees or its some form of specialist niche job.

to throw a spanner in the mix, im planning on moving to Canada in a few months but i need the money hense applying for the warehouse jobs etc & no i havent been telling them that i plan on moving

So I’m 29, been unemployed for the best part of six months to a year and my mental health was in some dire state. Drinking excessively to the point where I had to go to the doctors about it. The prescribed me anti Depressants after one trip to see them to which I was like, no way this is just another way to get me pilled up and them to make money. That was two weeks ago, since then I’ve been running and skipping 10/14 days.
Two drinks in that time frame. My next goal is to get back into the gym. I just didn’t want to do all of that to then burn myself out. My mind was saying smaller but more consistent.

I also start a delivery job next week which I’m excited but am worried I won’t get thengaruenteed hours they said.

My next dilemma is that I also have a working holiday visa for Canada which I want to get over there by January.

But my main concern is, when I come back and if I come
Back, I’m still not going to employable and I really don’t where to begin. I appreciate that the market is terrible right now and a lot of people are in the same position. But I don’t know what to do like I want to be able to earn a good living but find myself stuck in a loop of. Im not very good in office environments, done all the hospitality, retail, labouring jobs and would prefer not to go back. I love my fashion, clothes, talking to people, being out and about. I know what I don’t want to do

I also want to read more, yet I don’t know where to begin, which sounds silly. But I want to educate myself more not knowing where to start, whether that be in business, arts, literature, psychology etc etc. everything so far it feels like that ‘fake progress’ my algorithm keeps laying it on that I’m still not doing much in terms of progress and I’m almost believing it. But honestly, if I could show you from who I was a few years ago till now, there’s a change. This may be a whole lot of nonsense but I’ve tried these career guidances and government help and all lead to the same thing with dead end jobs and no progression and no possibility to get into them without experience but these places aren’t looking to give it, so how do I get in?

The ‘cool & niche jobs’ I want take either a degree or some way university way in which I don’t have. My mind set is, “I can do it, this is the goal, but how can I get there, what’s the next step”

Along that I find that in comparison to others, I don’t really have a major interest in most things, like people enjoy sports or politics or have something they love. I do. But it tends to just scratch the surface in comparison to how deep there love for a subject is.

I’m not sure how to round it off and that it’s incredibly vague, but I just need some guidance thank you

29

A few weeks back I received my working visa. With that I’ve been looking to go towards British Columbia and looking at places such as Commox Valley and Vernon. I’m hoping to go around January time next year as I’m just saving some more money before I go. I’ve gone into Facebook groups and asked about work etc, but I’d like to be able to connect with people before going out there.

Work wise I’m happy to do:
Manual labour
Dock/ marina work
Vineyard work
Fruit picking
Tree planting/ lumber work
Ski resorts
Bar/ pub work
Cafe
( if it’s an option vintage second hand clothing stores)

I appreciate a lot of these are also seasonal jobs. Or if there any other cool recommendations for niche jobs out there that be cool!

I was also a barber for most of my career but would prefer to stay away from it but am willing to do it if it helps me get me grounded.

My plan was to get into Canada, get to British Columbia. Get a motorbike or car and do a bit of sight seeing for a couple weeks then hopefully get into work after.

Besides from here and facebook groups, searching indeed etc. are there any other way I can connect with people/ other places to search for work?

Thank you

within this post its more of sharing my personal experience of life and how its gone for me i could give you a complete essay yet ill try but this is an incredibly wittled down version . I appreciate my circumstances are those of which are a lot better than most peoples and believe me everyday I am grateful for who I am, where I'm at and the love that is in my life. some bits are out of chronoligical order but ill try and be straight as i can as my brains a bit all over.

I turn 29 soon, I start a job next week as a delivery driver. I live with my parents and my two brothers. the past two years have been some of the most challenging yet, with those two years I gave up my career cutting hair and put it to bed, a very short relationship had ended, one which made me look at myself and truely question everything in its entirety, this person was honestly the best, but it wouldnt of worked, it made me see how weak i was, how i hadno backbone and didnt stand up for myself. im forever grateful it happened. because that relationship had shown me in a light i had never seen before. I had been bed bound in that time, given up my job my mom arguing with me that i need to get back into work when i quit as soon as i tols. i had to tell her no, im not well, crying, sick, mentally struggling, trying to get her to see that something wasnt right. for the first time she backed off. our relationship has gone from strength to strength.

within that time period of working before this two years. the drinking was excessive than it had been as of recent. when i was working it was drink drugs and party every night and repeat the next week. for nearly ten years. flitting from one job to next and not being able to hold anything down. Blind to my own demise, thinking of no one but myself and not looking at what i needed for the future. for myself and my family. The past year has been difficult. I quit the drugs but the drinking had become really excessive, a small drink became a daily thing which lead to a simple beer to a bottle of congac, vodka. so on and so forth.

But with that came a lot of self reflection. the time i had isolated myself away from people, friends and soceity not being able to leave my room, eating nothing but a tin of tuna every other day. It is just as simple as 'i could of made these changes a year ago and implemented the positives sooner' but i didn't. i need to sit there and face the sin i had commited in my life, the way ive treated people and others having to sit there with the discomfort of my own actions. to truely pick apart at myself and see what, why? For a long time. I didnt know who was, what i was doing with no sense of direction. I feel like i completlely dissociated from reality. became completley invincible to my actions and not seeing what impact it would have on me.
i also had an interview with a cleaning company but i turned it down due to being so anxious that I paniced which in these times is craxy to turn down a job.
I had a mental health team call me recently and asked to see me in person. i told them what im telling you now. all they could provide for me was anti depressants. Ive tried for years to get therapy. something that would last more than 6 weeks but couldnt and the cycle of telling some my ' troubles' and them saying i dont meet the criteria to get the help im asking for and round and round and round. so i gave up. But actually being prescribed medication this time round, something in me rang. they didnt want to help me, theyre just trying to make money off of me, taking medication with no real look into me. F*** that. its been two weeks since they tried to prescribe me these drugs, not a chance. Every day ive been running not far, but ive been moving, going for walks and skipping ive had one episode of drinking which was on saturday but havent had any since. my next step is to start going to the gym. im not homeless, im priviliged and so lucky to be where i am. forever endebeted to my parents for the kindess, love and paitence they have for me.

where does this lead to?

my older brother is serverly autistic and will never be able to get a job, because of his condition and the way he is, hes unable to work, the most he can do is voluntary work, even that is difficult for him. he gets zero support from anyone nor do my parents get any support for him. My parents arent getting any younger and this world is getting worse by the second.

now to throw a spanner in the mix. several months ago, sat in the garden, late at night, sipping on a bottle cigarette in hand and my dad walks out with a cigar and lights , he never does this. "son, you need to leave here, not the house but here. youve been here your whole life, nothings changed, your friends have left and had their clean slates, its time for yours. youve been stuck here in the same S*** when everyone dissapeared, they got new stories to tell. its time you did too, if you dont scratch this itch, youll regret it for the rest of your life
"
i had mentioned before about getting a working visa for Canada but I never looked at it. My dad telling me this sparked something in me. like a small fire had been lit. Now i have the visa. im just trying to save my money so i can go next year. I know which area i want to go to in canada, im looking at jobs, but yet to apply as i still do not have the money to get there. i told my dad that i feel guilty for leaving, he said not to. that i need to go and explore as ive been at home all my life and not done much for myself. Im terrified to leave, them my family and go.

but here, i dont know what i want to do with my career, i need something that to do which i can buy a house, somewhere i can look after my brother, a job which i can support him and my parents and live comfortably in a world forever being clouded in darkness.

it may only have changed in two weeks and i have a lot longer and a lot more challenges to face and alot more to change in myself. but these steps have never felt so good, a spark has been ignited and now i dont want to put it out. I cant. i need to keep going. for me, my family. for everyone. for so long ive spent so much time doing nothing, wasting my time and now i need tomake a difference in my life. it can only go up from here
I dont know where to go with this, what more i can say but, keep going. dont give up. no matter how dark it gets

28 M. Just been prescribed sertraline 50mg. I’ve never taken any medication before. What is to be expected? I’m scared to take them as I’ve never had anything before. What are people’s thoughts on them

Hello all!

I just got my Port of Entry for my working holiday visa! which I'm very excited to come over and work. i was hoping to avoid major cities for work as im already in one and would prefer something a bit more relaxed.

i know this is probably better off in a WHV Canada thread but I was hoping to get some knowledge from people in here too!

I was Looking at places such as British Columbia to hopefully come and work.

jobs I was hoping to do:

tree planting
farm work
Lumber Work
Vineyards
Labouring Jobs
ski resorts

(not sure if the following are possible but thought id ask)
Small breweries
Bars/pubs
Vintage/second hand/ clothing stores.

I appreciate that this may sound a bit naive as its my first time doing a working holiday visa, but would i need qualifications to do the manual labouring jobs and the lumber work?

Also how would i go about my living situation? is it just as simple as, get a job and find somewhere to rent?

Any and all help would be really great! Like I know there’s the Canada job board but if you have any more suggestions send them my way
Thank you

So I’m 28 and my working visa holiday has just come
Through for Canada which I really want to go. My problem is that within the past year I’ve decided I want to completely change my career. I used to cut hair and decided that I really don’t want to do it anymore after 10 years. Money wasn’t great etc and my confidence just tanked. but as of this moment I’m currently unemployed and really struggling to get a job. I’ve applied for night shift, warehouse work, retail jobs, supermarkets, pet sitting dog walking jobs and I’ve been rejected by those and a lot of other jobs I’ve applied for. For Canada I want at least £10,000 to go over with. I’ve sold most of my possessions and I’ve got just under 2k. But I’m not sure what to do career wise and not sure what else to do get some money in. I’d rather not go back to cutting hair as i just don’t want to do it again. I’m not sure what to do.

Im 28M, right now I feel like im in a bit of weird spot, like we all are. It feels like I’ve woken up from a long nightmare. For a very long time I was an incredibly, anxious hormonal, angry, angst, selfish person, I had a major chip on my shoulder, the world was against me. I lacked such confidence and now I see its cost me, I let people push me around and use me to their advantage and not seeing that my mental health getting worse. In terms of education, friends, relationships and every other aspect of my life. My issues were my own, I created some and stuck in others as I thought “ if I can just stick with it, it’ll be worth it I can fix the problems” surprise it didn’t. I had no back bone, no guts to stand up for myself. I used to cut hair for a living, couldn’t even make enough to pay rent. I had to take a step back, not just from my career, but from life. I had to look inwards at myself and I’ve had to start again, from the ground upwards, before I was working on damaged foundations and everything kept falling apart. The more I kept lying to myself saying I can make this work, the worse it got. I don’t cut hair anymore and probably won’t go back to it. I’ve got a weird relationship with it.
Yet now. I can count on one hand the amount of friends I have, no job, no idea what I’m suppose to with my life.

Now I sit here, typing this out.

I have just received a letter saying I’m allowed to go work in Canada for a working holiday visa. I can’t explain how surreal this feels, like someone’s playing a prank on me.
I need to get my finances up and fast as I want to be gone from where I live.
Where I’m from I feel like I’ve given myself a bad name, I haven’t done anything outrageous or horrible to anyone. But I look at myself back then and I do not associate with that person at all. On drugs, booze and just being a general f*** up. I bump into people and they’re saying “ oh do you remember doing this?” And all I want to do, is lie on the floor and die. Like that’s how people will remember me, that’s the last memory of me is how much of a loser I was.

But now I have this opportunity. Weirdly my dad sparked this going to Canada as I mentioned it briefly a couple years ago.
I was outside having a cigarette and he came out with a cigar for me and he had one.
“You need to get out of here” is what he said, confused I thought he was kicking me out. Thankfully not.

“ this place has nothing to offer you, you’ve outgrown it and everyone else. All your friends have been gone and travelled, gone to university and moved on. They got their fresh start, but you’ve been stuck in it whilst they left and you’ve done nothing but stay in this same circle. When’s it going to be your turn? To spread your wings, to create your stories? When was the last time you actually done anything for yourself?”

Hearing this was weird as I never thought about it like that. With this, my mom and dad aren’t getting any younger, I also have a disabled brother, which we all love and help look after him. my dad’s on the tip of physical health iceberg too, which without him my mom said she’d be screwed and my dad needs to help himself get into a healthier state.

So this is the thing. I’m unemployed looking for work to help me get to Canada. I don’t have a proper career, like a sit down desk job, that sounds like hell, yet it’s what pays, I’m auADHD and I’m still struggling to fit into places or see what I’m good at, it’s embarrassing as a 28 year old who still lives at home and is unable to get a job. I’ve looked into construction gigs and don’t have the money nor qualifications for it.

I feel really guilty for leaving and is probably why I’ve never left as having to help my brother and take some of the weight off my mom and dad.

I’m terrified if I go abroad, that something may happen to my dad or mom, which I’ll be thousands of miles away and can come back.

My dad said, “go, don’t worry about us, just get yourself out there, you’re miserable here.” It makes me so emotional how loving my parents are, what they’ve done and the opportunities they’ve given me in this life. I’m scared to leave, but want to. Scared I’ve got no real career, no money, no savings nothing. No plan.

I want to go, to experience life, I’m scared as I’ve never done anything like it. That’s the point though isn’t it? My parents have been everything for me and I’m forever indebted to them for that.

My brain is so scrambled all the time I struggle to get organised.
I’ve rambled and not sure where I going anymore

Hello all!

I just got my Port of Entry for my working holiday visa! which I'm very excited to come over and work. i was hoping to avoid major cities for work as im already in one and would prefer something a bit more relaxed.

i know this is probably better off in a WHV Canada thread but I was hoping to get some knowledge from people in here too!

I was Looking at places such as British Columbia to hopefully come and work.

jobs I was hoping to do:

tree planting
farm work
Lumber Work
Vineyards
Labouring Jobs
ski resorts

(not sure if the following are possible but thought id ask)
Small breweries
Bars/pubs
Vintage/second hand/ clothing stores.

I appreciate that this may sound a bit naive as its my first time doing a working holiday visa, but would i need qualifications to do the manual labouring jobs and the lumber work?

Also how would i go about my living situation? is it just as simple as, get a job and find somewhere to rent?

Any and all help would be really great!
Thank you

Banned. Will I be caught out if I use the same phone and dating zest for the reset or will I just end up being g banned again? So would it be better to use a new phone and dating zest or reckon I’ll be okay with my phone as it is

Need some suggestions for getting back onto the apps

Got banned back in December, tried appealing, nothing, relentlessly emailed them for explanation and to try and get unbanned. Nothing.

So before I use dating zest, to do a hard reset, if I use the same phone. But different pictures and different number, will using the same phone be an issue do you think? I also sent them my ID, am I just screwed?