Something my daughter said last week completely changed how I think about “showing up"
Sorry in advance for the rant.
I’ve been under a stupid amount of stress lately. Work has been brutal, money’s tight, and between two kids and trying to keep life from falling apart, it feels like every day is just putting out fires.
Last week I almost missed my younger daughter’s kindergarten graduation because of work. Not because I wanted to. Just one of those “important last-minute meetings” that somehow always seem to happen when life is happening too. I was venting about it during a doctor’s appointment and he said something that honestly bothered me more than I expected.He basically told me dads today put too much pressure on themselves to attend every little kid event. Said when he was growing up, fathers showed up “when they could.”
And maybe that works for some people, but my dad also “showed up when he could.” He was an alcoholic. In and out of my life. Did the bare minimum until he legally didn’t have to anymore. So hearing that hit a nerve.Because I still remember every single time I looked into a crowd hoping he’d actually be there.
Kids remember that stuff.
And honestly, part of why I started using Screen Earn in our house was because I realized I was becoming the dad who was physically present but mentally exhausted all the time. Every night was chores arguments, screen time fights, repeating myself 900 times, losing patience over dumb little things.Now the expectations are just… there.The girls know what needs to get done. The screen time unlocks itself after. Less yelling. Less negotiating. Less turning into the bad guy every evening.And weirdly, it gave me back energy for the stuff that actually matters. Like sitting in a tiny kindergarten chair watching my daughter scan the room looking for me.
I made the graduation by the way.The second she saw me, her whole face changed.That alone was worth more than the meeting.