u/SpinnyyChairr

I've heard that Spain is pretty advanced with it's trans healthcare system but I still would want to know if anyone has personal experience going through it.

How big is the hassle of it?

Around how long would the wait time be to get access to HRT and surgery through the public system?

Would it be worth it to move to Spain for surgery?

All of these questions are assuming I'd have a citizenship in Spain.

I'm wondering if anyone can tell me from experience how long it takes to get access to HRT and/or surgery in Estonia if I went through the healthcare system?

Is it worth the wait or should I just start considering alternative ways to access it or like move to a different country (I also have citizenship in Spain)?

I don't know if I have germaphobia or not because I'm not necessarily scared of "germs" (like I could lick a bus poll if needed and I wouldn't even blink) but instead my own specific criteria of what I see as dirty. For example I have the biggest problems with food waste (I genuinely feel like throwing up even when I'm just throwing something into the bio trash), contaminated/spoiled food (I always check dates and when I don't thrust them I'll also check the smell and texture before trying a bit of it), wet things (can't wash dishes, start aggressively twitching if I step into a few drops of water on the floor), feces or vomit (I'm incapable of being the one to clean after my own pet and I absolutely hate it), the hands of people I deem "unclean", sneezes or coughs etc etc etc. I can feel my heart racing just writing those things.

People often assume I'm just lazy or don't want to clean up after myself but I genuinely have a physical reaction against these things. I don't know why I feel this way or how to stop it and I'm so upset at the creeping thought of never being capable of truly living alone or having pets. I can hardly even take care of myself for a single day without avoiding food if it feels suspicious or walling myself into a room because it's "dirty out there".

One of my doctors once suggested the idea of OCD but it was almost immediately shut down because I don't experience any compulsions (unless the occasional twitching, snapping and taping ticks count) just hardcore avoidance.

Does anyone else experience something like this? If yes how do you deal with it? I don't know I'm just feeling a bit helpless about it and and would love to hear that I'm not alone (unless I am?).

I don't know if I have germaphobia or not because I'm not necessarily scared of "germs" (like I could lick a bus poll if needed and I wouldn't even blink) but instead my own specific criteria of what I see as dirty. For example I have the biggest problems with food waste (I genuinely feel like throwing up even when I'm just throwing something into the bio trash), contaminated/spoiled food (I always check dates and when I don't thrust them I'll also check the smell and texture before trying a bit of it), wet things (can't wash dishes, start aggressively twitching if I step into a few drops of water on the floor), feces or vomit (I'm incapable of being the one to clean after my own pet and I absolutely hate it), the hands of people I deem "unclean", sneezes or coughs etc etc etc. I can feel my heart racing just writing those things.

People often assume I'm just lazy or don't want to clean up after myself but I genuinely have a physical reaction against these things. I don't know why I feel this way or how to stop it and I'm so upset at the creeping thought of never being capable of truly living alone or having pets. I can hardly even take care of myself for a single day without avoiding food if it feels suspicious or walling myself into a room because it's "dirty out there".

One of my doctors once suggested the idea of OCD but it was almost immediately shut down because I don't experience any compulsions (unless the occasional twitching, snapping and taping ticks count) just hardcore avoidance.

Does anyone else experience something like this? If yes how do you deal with it? I don't know I'm just feeling a bit helpless about it and and would love to hear that I'm not alone (unless I am?).

I've been on fluoxetine (Prozac) for three ish months now and the reason I had them specifically given to me was because they're supposed to have a long half-life. That being said if I do miss a single dose I find myself already starting to spiral, lose all motivation, degrade myself, mistrust others and at times even notice some suicidal ideations start creeping back in on me and I start feeling this even just 12 hours after accidentally missing a dose. Does anyone else experience this? Is it normal?

For information, I have both autism and multiple different types of anxiety professionally diagnosed.

For as long as I can remember myself, I've been rather underweight and have found it absolutely impossible to gain weight even if I wanted to. As a toddler I apparently had a big appetite and ate basically anything but sometime during kindergarten it all seemed to change. I became extremely picky with my food and it sort of seemed like my list of things I could eat only got more and more narrow over time.

Eating as a whole is often stressful and extremely unpleasant for me if I'm not currently craving the food given to me. It's a genuine nightmare for me to go out eating with friends to a restaurant I haven't visited/found an "edible" food in beforehand because trying new things 70% of the time results in me not eating them and everyone getting upset and making comments on how it's impossible to go eat with me. No one ever seems to fully understand how difficult food can get for me, even when I was in the ED section of a mental hospital (because the regular one was full) I had moments where nurses would make rude comments on my eating.

I've also recently gained an ever expanding fear of food contamination and spoilage. I have no idea where this might come from since I haven't had any negative experiences with it at all. For some reason I just find myself unable to eat fridge food without checking the date and smelling it at least once even if it was bought yesterday. I used to trust dates but now it's gotten to a point where if it says it's going bad in 3 days or less I have to ask for reassurance on if it's still edible or not from other people and do a thorough test on it. This whole thing leads me to just not wanting to eat because it's such a hassle.

That being said, I'm pretty sure from what I've heard that arfid has symptoms of low appetite and fear of consequences after eating. I don't really think I experience either of these though? My appetite fluctuate between borderline binge eating and just not eating at all in a day and I don't exactly fear the consequences of eating, even with the whole contamination fear I never really fear of the consequences exactly (I don't really know what I fear from it)?

It's just really starting to exhaust me.