u/SprayOk8494

We’ve made the decision to move to a higher cost of living area and our mortgage is almost doubling. The location of our move is right around tons of family and we’ve found a childcare center that is more than half of what we pay our nanny. It also almost doubles her commute and while I think she’d make the drive for a short period of time, I don’t see her committing to this long term.

Due to the finances of our move we have to let her go starting November 1st. I did have a conversation with her a few months ago about lowering her employment to part time in the New Year and we’ve been talking about moving to this location for awhile now so she definitely won’t be too surprised, but I do think she’ll be surprised that we cannot offer any additional employment beyond October.

Shes been with us for 3 years and I am very sad we’ve had to make this decision but it is what’s best for our family long term. I’ll note that we really love her like family and I want to be sure the relationship can extend beyond her employment - my kids love her and she loves them so it will be a hard transition.

If I tell her ASAP, is this enough time notice? I wish I could give her another month or two but we’ve looked the numbers over multiple times and there’s just no way we can make her employment work once we move.

I know what he’s been through is absolutely horrific and traumatizing and he absolutely deserves compassion, love and support - if this was 10 years later (or hell…even 5) I’d have different feelings. Their children were murdered 3 years ago and he’s already not only started a new relationship but MARRIED? I have 3 young kids and have been married for 5 years and while I know how everyone grieves and handles things is different….something about how quickly he has ‘moved on’ gives me red flags and is uncomfortable.

Hi everyone - looking for advice on how to approach my nanny’s request for an increased rate and additional benefits.

For background, we very much love and value our nanny. She is incredible and like family to us, but with that being said, we are in a bit of an uncertain spot with our finances, my job and how much childcare we actually *want & need* going forward (truthfully, we don’t need the 40 hours we have).

We are located in Denver and have 3 kids under 4, including a set of twins. Our nanny started part time with my oldest, and then when my twins were born, she transitioned to full time to care for my toddler. Her rate was $30/hour which is on the average/high side for my market. When my twins got older, she started caring for everyone and we increased her rate to $34/hour. That was a little over a year ago so she is definitely due for a COL raise, however, she asked for $39/hour which feels like a huge increase and goes well beyond just COL. She also requested a monthly healthcare stipend. This would mean in less than 2 years a 30% rate increase plus additional pay for healthcare.

I’ve scoured forums in my area and it seems like we are either paying in line with or above what most people watching 3 toddlers are paying hourly. Which is fine with me but we cannot afford to tack on another $5/hour ($9,600/year) in childcare.

We provide all holidays paid, unlimited sick days and unlimited PTO. If she needs a day off she gets it 100% of the time. Responsibilities include light housekeeping (after the kids, not us) and the kids laundry but not a ton of house stuff beyond that.

I was a bit caught off guard by the request so just trying to gauge if my feelings are valid, if I’m in the wrong, or what I should be considering as an appropriate response.

We recently considered asking for a reduction in her hours because the cost of childcare is so expensive but haven’t done so because we know she relies on our employment as her income. My kids also totally adore her which makes it extra difficult.

We don’t want to lose her completely but cannot justify the request. What would you do?

Hi everyone - looking for advice on how to approach my nanny’s request for an increased rate and additional benefits.

For background, we very much love and value our nanny. She is incredible and like family to us, but with that being said, we are in a bit of an uncertain spot with our finances, my job and how much childcare we actually *want & need* going forward (truthfully, we don’t need the 40 hours we have).

We are located in Denver and have 3 kids under 4, including a set of twins. Our nanny started part time with my oldest, and then when my twins were born, she transitioned to full time to care for my toddler. Her rate was $30/hour which is on the average/high side for my market. When my twins got older, she started caring for all of them and we increased her rate to $34/hour. That was a little over a year ago so she is definitely due for a COL raise, however, she asked for $39/hour which feels like a huge increase and goes well beyond just COL. She also requested a monthly healthcare stipend. This would mean in less than 2 years a 30% rate increase

I’ve scoured forums in my area and it seems like we are either paying in line with or above what most people watching 3 toddlers are paying hourly. Which is fine with me but we cannot afford to tack on another $5/hour ($9,600/year) in childcare.

We provide all holidays paid, unlimited sick days and unlimited PTO. If she needs a day off she gets it 100% of the time. Responsibilities include light housekeeping (after the kids, not us) and the kids laundry but not a ton of house stuff beyond that.

I was a bit caught off guard by the cost increase so just trying to gauge if my feelings are valid, if I’m in the wrong, or what I should be considering as an appropriate response.

We recently considered asking for a reduction in her hours because the cost of childcare is so expensive but haven’t done so because we know she relies on our employment as her income and that would put her in a tricky spot.

I appreciate responses/perspectives from both nannies and nanny parents!

I'm curious how other designers are pulling together their fixed fee models. I'd like to move to a hybrid approach, doing fixed fee pricing for everything up until construction admin, then moving to hourly once construction begins. All my research has pointed that the industry standard is about 15%-20% of the total construction costs. Does this seem appropriate?

I'm currently renovating/designing homes that were purchased for 2M+ and construction costs range anywhere from $250,000 - $1M+ depending on scope of work. I've billed hourly up until now but really hoping to streamline my process and admin.

The fixed fee feels like such a big number, even when it's tied to phases/deliverables. Do these large numbers tend to scare clients off? The numbers I'm looking at from that percentage perspective do equate to what I end up billing hourly for a similarly priced project so it absolutely lines up, I just feel like its harder to get a client on board with a lump sum price.

Would love and appreciate any insight from others who bill in a similar model!

[removed]

Does anyone have experience with Fantasy Macaubus Quartzite? I selected for a client and my fabricator just sent me the below note (of course…after I presented pricing and the slab to them).

the Fantasy Macaubus is susceptible to absorption and staining, in living with it. It also can have rust veins that almost bleed when they are cut, which often causes rust colored staining on the edges.

Curious what others recommend and how much I really need to be concerned about this (and if I should sway my clients in another direction).

I’ve recently launched my own residential firm after 10 years in the commercial industry. My mom is a real estate agent and has had a ton of success advertising in our local communities magazine.

Does anyone advertise their services this way? Im considering taking my moms slot for next month in the hopes to gain some projects.

Is offering a free consultation worth it or should I just advertise services with recent project work showcases and my contact info?

My husband and I are going on a trip with my best friend and her husband. We’re in our mid-30‘s and are looking for recommendations for a dinner/sunset Cruise on the nicer side. Preferably without children (we’re leaving the kids at home and while we love kids, we’d prefer an adult vibe) and something that provides dinner/alcohol but isn’t a party scene.

I’ve read about Tropicat and were considering that but would appreciate other suggestions!

Hi everyone - looking for advice on the best way to approach a conversation with our Nanny about hours changing from full time to part time. I feel I have a good approach but want perspective from other Nannie’s so I can make sure I’m being considerate of all perspective's.

A few things to note: Our nanny started part time with us originally (12 hrs a week). We upped her hours to FT almost 2 years ago when our second child was born and she left another part time job that she was impartial to and since has been full time with us.

We absolutely love her and she is like a part of our family. Our need to go part time stems from financial reasons to family lifestyle reasons - I am only working part time now and really eager for more time with my kids before they are school age.

We do NOT want to lose our nanny completely and if it were to come down to it, would sacrifice other expenses to keep her with us, however, I am hoping to find an agreeable solution and have a conversation with her to start the possibility of part time.

Is an open conversation about our families need for part time, while considering her financial full time pay needs acceptable? My hope is to help her find another nanny family who is interested in a similar arrangement and ensure she has a second part time job to fill those lost hours BEFORE we reduce her from our employment in any capacity. I would never leave her in a scenario where she is at a loss financially.

If this is something she is totally not interested or okay with, we will keep her FT but I’m hoping to find a solution that can work and benefit both of us.

Is there anything else I need to be considering? Nannies, what are your thoughts and opinions on this approach?

I’m looking for some guidance on what families with kids are spending on average per month in HCOL areas. I know it’s all relative but we keep saying how expensive life is and we were shocked to do a finance audit and see we’re averaging about $34k a month (this is insane…we know, and are working to understand and fix it)

To be transparent, we had 3 kids within 2 years and have been just surviving so a lot of things have not been receiving their full attention & we’ve definitely been spending extra for conveniences. My husband salaries about $150k/year and is largely compensated based on RSU’s (last year total income was about $750k, the year before about $500k, this year will likely be in the $500k range). We have about $1M in retirement funds and max out our 401k. Right now we have about $400k in savings. I didn’t work for about 2 years and recently started a business that made $50k its first year and will hopefully make more this year (it has potential for much more but will naturally be slow to start)

Our fixed expenses are approximately $18k per month. This is mortgage, groceries, utilities, car payments, home maintenance, healthcare, childcare, etc. Which means our miscellaneous spend is $16k and after doing a deep dive is stupid stuff - Amazon, Door Dash, Shopping, Target, etc. It also accounts for big one off purchases, such as future trips, gifts, lifestyle purchases, dining out, etc.

Our day to day lifestyle is obviously frivolous because of this number but to be clear, we otherwise live a pretty modest lifestyle and live in a starter home and don’t drive luxury cars or buy luxury items.

I’m looking for guidance from other families in similar positions who lock in their lifestyle spending and am trying to understand what a realistic flexible spending number truly is.

I have Loro Pianas walk dot sole loafers and am absolutely in love. By far my most worn shoes in the spring/summer months. I’d love another pair but the price is a little steep.

Aurelien popped across my algorithm today and has very similar styles for about half the price. I know Loro Piana‘s version is likely worth it but just curious on Aurelien as a brand and if overall, it’s recommended.

Thanks!

We’ve been noticing a spray paint like smell in our house for the past few days. Its not consistent. I first noticed it on Monday afternoon in our basement and in the bathroom on our main level that’s directly adjacent to the basement stairs. Definitely not paint or chemicals we have in the house.

Research tells me it might be a Freon leak in our AC which isn’t surprising because our AC and HVAC are old. Tuesday morning, the smell is completely gone when the HVAC company comes to look at everything. They don’t notice anything wrong or that could be causing the smell and tell us if it happens again, note the time and weather and give them a call back.

now, Wednesday afternoon, the smell is back and super strong. I can smell it the second I walk through my garage into the house and it’s even lingering up to our 2nd level.

WHAT in the world could this possibly be?

ETA: Problem solved. The city is lining our sewage pipes with Styrene, a plastic coating that makes the piping last longer. Apparently, they sent a flyer (one that I did not read because...life) stating that we may have a chemical like smell come from the floor drain in our basement and that pouring water down the drain would help block the smell. Our neighbors are having the same issue.

I think the reason I only smelled it in the basement the other day was because our heat was off (it was a warm day). Today its snowing here (in May...yikes) so we had the heat on and I'm sure our HVAC system blew the scent upstairs.

Thanks for all your responses!