u/Squigels

I have cognitive issues from brain damage, and despite trying my best, I'm starting to feel like I'm never going to have the kind of career or income that lets me properly take care of myself, let alone my aging mother.

My mom is on disability and I help care for her. A lot of my life revolves around making sure she's safe, gets where she needs to go, and has support. I don't resent her for that. I love her. But the reality is that I'm constantly worried about the future.

I look around and see people building careers, having families of their own, buying homes, saving for retirement, and moving forward. Meanwhile, I feel stuck. I feel like I'm falling further behind every year no matter how hard I try.

The thing that scares me most is what happens when my mom is gone. Right now I have a purpose. I have someone who needs me. But after she's gone, I plan on not being far behind her.

I'm not looking for pity. I just want to know if anyone has been in a similar place and found a way forward or honesty if there is no hope for someone like me.

https://preview.redd.it/51uuvu4xsz5h1.jpg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9971893d01e3a11c2a13af2cada8eab349958a17

https://preview.redd.it/lk09vzkxsz5h1.jpg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd0934b09ffbb0717bdd4378197af4b24b596357

I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I’m trying to reach out to the LDS Church about something from the past. It’s mainly about finding closure and letting old wounds heal. I’d like the church to look into whether something my family reported to our bishop nearly 30 years ago was actually addressed or if it was brushed aside. Over time, I’ve come to understand that what happened to me wasn’t condoned by most members of the church, and it would help to know that the incident I went through was, in some way, handled internally.

Today someone posted about a child at an ABA/autism services center who was "screaming bloody murder" and being held down by three workers.

I commented: “Special needs resources are such a mess. There are people who should not be working with special needs individuals, and sometimes special needs individuals may need different care/support, like one-on-one care instead of being placed around other special needs individuals.”

Someone took that as me being pro-abuse toward special needs individuals.

That was not what I meant. I was not saying it is okay to restrain, hurt, or abuse a disabled child. I was trying to say that we don’t know the full situation from one post, and that the system can fail everyone involved when facilities are understaffed, poorly trained, or not giving someone the level of support they actually need.

For added context, I was in similar classes growing up and I still have scars from classmates, i have bite marks, stabbed by a pencil, and while no scar one classmate tried to drown me on a pool fieldtrip in 3rd grade. So I can admit that my own experiences may bias how I look at situations involving safety, crisis behavior, and whether someone needs more individualized support. I’m not saying that makes restraint okay. I’m saying my reaction came from knowing that these situations can be complicated and that people on all sides can get hurt when the support system is failing.

I understand why people are sensitive about ABA and restraint, and I also understand that holding a child down can be traumatic and dangerous. My point was more that the situation might involve bad staff, inadequate resources, an unsafe crisis response, or a child needing a different care setting/support plan. I don’t think anyone should jump straight to defending the facility, but I also don’t think we can know every detail from a short post.

AITA for saying we should consider that we don’t know exactly what was going on, while also saying special needs care/resources are a mess?

https://preview.redd.it/tpwmzfkar60h1.jpg?width=685&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ca683f0b7dcb2a366097a7ebcc658c6b103c1f4

https://preview.redd.it/irxqssxar60h1.jpg?width=685&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1d48923c71d839ab40eede7574718cb229ef0ab6