u/Strawberry_n_bees

I know it's not every binary trans person, but it really feels like so many people see non-binary identities as being a halfway point to discovering their trans identity, when NON-BINARY PEOPLE ARE TRANS BY DEFAULT unless they specifically choose not to identify that way.

This has happened to me in person too, and I had to correct someone because I am non-binary and fully identify as trans. She literally said "I used to be non-binary but now I'm trans" when she could have said, "I used to identify as non-binary but now I know I'm a woman."

It just feels really invalidating, but what am I supposed to say whenever we're supposed to be celebrating someone's identity? Like "hey, I know you're excited, but the way you worded that actually invalidates all of the non-binary trans people that exist"

https://www.reddit.com/r/ankylosingspondylitis/s/GdoSBNB4lV

Here's a link to my previous post, long story short, My insurance stopped covering Humira and I had to switch to Hadlima, and the auto injector for Hadlima was so much more painful than the auto injector for Humira. I tried all the methods to make it hurt less, and it still felt like I was getting stabbed!

I switched to the prefilled syringe and did it today (with assistance), and the injection itself barely caused any pain, I would say comparable to my testosterone shots if you're on HRT for any reason (I use the subcutaneous needle for T shots which is shorter). I'd like to update how easy it is to actually push the medicine through the syringe, because it the syringe is much wonkier than the ones I use for my T shots, but I haven't done it myself yet. The auto injectors were honestly really hard to use by myself, so I'm hoping it's easier.

I did have some injection site soreness afterwards, which was expected, but it was a gradual increase in pain from the medication rather than a sudden flash that stayed at a high level of pain (cause I was basically getting stabbed). My thigh was still in pain for a couple hours, but less pain than it was with the auto injector, and the pain wasn't as widespread as well. I think Hadlima is generally more painful as a medicine than Humira, because I didn't notice lingering pain to this degree on Humira, even though I only used the auto injector.

Methods I use to make injections less painful:

Take the syringe out of the fridge 30-60 minutes before use

Heated blanket/pad to heat up my lower body for 30 minutes to an hour before the shot

Then I use an ice pack for a little under 5 minutes on the area I've chosen for the shot

Pinch the skin, do the injection, cotton swab and bandaid afterwards and I'm good to go!

To clarify, none of these methods helped much with pain for the auto injector, but it seems to work just fine with the prefilled syringe!

For context, I live in Kansas

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I've been trying to get a caregiver for years now, and I struggled with getting approved for Medicaid because I technically make more than the allotted amount even when my only income is from social security.

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But that's besides the point, for right now anyway. I have an appointment next week and I want to know what they're looking for. I have a rollator and two wheelchairs, a cheap manual wheelchair and an old electric wheelchair that I bought off Facebook marketplace. Neither are amazing wheelchairs, but they get the job done.

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However I'm afraid that they'll see it as an asset, and use that against me later on when I reapply, which I'll need to do later this year. Medicaid's qualifications are kinda rough, and I remember them asking if I owned a car or anything else that could be considered an asset.

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On the other hand, I really need a caregiver, and if seeing that I need a wheelchair makes them realize that I actually can't do a lot, then maybe I should keep it around, but I don't use a wheelchair in my house, only my rollator.

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I could potentially store the wheelchairs somewhere else while I have the appointment. Do you think that's necessary?

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In terms of other requirements, I can do most personal hygiene by myself and even on days where I need help, I don't think I'd want a random caregiver to help me with those tasks. But I can't cook, clean, and sometimes I need people to bring me food because walking and standing is painful.

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Is that enough to qualify for a caregiver? Or do I need to play up my issues in some areas?

(My pronouns are they/them) Also I'm sorry I have no idea what flair to put, I've never posted in the sub before!

Tldr: Men and masculine identifying folks are victims of misogyny/the patriarchy too, and I'd like to open up a discussion where you can talk about it and receive support.

I see a lot of posts about men having bad mental health, about men wanting to be feminists but they are afraid of man hate, or even men not understanding why women won't talk to them, and I feel like that's so much farther down the line. If you want to be a feminist, you first have to start by understanding the ways in which the patriarchy and misogyny impacts *you* as a man.

I don't often see posts about this. A lot of men are neglected and never learn basic skills like how to cook, clean, and manage a household they live in. As a collective, men have been taught that their feelings aren't real, or that we shouldn't have them, so we stuff them down until all we can feel is anger. We're never taught that emotions are even okay, let alone how to feel them and regulate them.

And I say we, because while I was raised as a girl, I'm trans masc (bigender/gender fluid), and I recognize that I tried aligning myself with masculinity to feel comfortable, but I wasn't aligning myself with real masculinity. I was aligning myself with patriarchy's vision of masculinity, and that's not the same.

Here's one story of how misogyny impacted me in a masculine way:

When I was a kid, I was abused by my step mom. She would go back and forth between being angry, being really nice, or throwing a literal tantrum. She would cry, and say that it's my fault, and that if I was a good kid then she wouldn't be pushed to act that way. I never knew what to expect, but I knew I had to walk on eggshells, because she was extremely explosive and aggressive.

And because I saw her unregulated emotions, I thought, "I never want to be like that." And even though it was her individual actions that hurt me, I could only see that she was emotional in a really bad way, and took this as a "that's just how women are," thing because everybody says women are emotional.

So I tried my best to be nothing like her. I bottled my emotions, I didn't cry, and one time I counted how many times I cried in a year and I got it down to only 4 times, and somehow I was proud of it then. But it was detrimental to me.

I was an undiagnosed AuDHD teen, who had nowhere to put my emotions, and it turned into panic attacks and meltdowns. I would have them all the time, and I was so scared and confused, and eventually that turned to anger. But I wasn't allowed to feel or express anger as someone who was perceived to be a woman, plus I was dissociating heavily from PTSD, and even if I wanted to cry, I literally couldn't. Things just got worse for me until I ended up with a good therapist, around really positive emotional friends, and had time and space to heal. There's a lot that went into my healing journey (and it's far from over) but that's not what this post is about.

Now I cry almost every day. It's weird, being on testosterone, and my ability to cry is almost... More? I feel like I've always been taught that men aren't good with emotions, but I don't think that's true. I just think that y'all were never taught *how.* (And I don't want to dismiss anybody who struggles to cry for any reason, it's completely understandable given the situation(s).)

Story over

Anyway, I'd like to open up a discussion about this, although I know my experience might not be the same, as someone who was raised as a woman. But I identify so strongly with both binary genders (as well as feeling neutral at times) that I want to bridge the gap if there's any way I can.

It's both men's mental health month *and* pride month, and I really don't think there needs to be a huge separation from the two, an "either or."

When have you been negatively impacted by the patriarchy, toxic masculinity, or misogyny?

(And this is not the place to say, "I approached a woman alone at night and she wouldn't talk to me, I'm a victim." But if you want to talk about how you never learned how to talk to women because you were taught to see them as romantic and sexual partners and not just normal people, then this is the place for you!)

So I defeated the goblin king, opened up the forest, and had 3 runs in the forest before I saw a mimic. I really want the pet mimic, so I have less issues with supplies and space running out, but finding mimics seem pretty impossible to find. So I've just been biding my time, checking every chest and comparing it with the map (although, if you can open the chest it's obviously not a mimic).

When I finally saw a mimic in the forest, I remembered seeing a comment on this sub that suggested to put a portal a few rooms away (I'm not sure how many rooms, is one enough or does it need to be at least two rooms away?). So I put a portal there, but I didn't go through it because I wasn't done with my run.

And of course there is no portal into town because I didn't go through it.

How do the portals work? If I want to farm mimics that way, do I have to only go through the portal when I go to and from the dungeon and not go on any other floors? Or is there a way to use the portal but still have a normal run? As far as I know, you can't go back to previous floors, is that correct?

If I have a portal in one dungeon, can I go to other dungeons without it messing with the portal? Or does the portal disappear if I enter any dungeon the normal way?

Any advice is helpful! I'm fairly new to the game, and I've watched a few tutorials and I've looked up pricing charts that are pretty helpful, but even with YouTube videos, I don't feel like I'm getting detailed information. Like how the pool before the boss doesn't heal you indefinitely, it stops after a certain point. You can only heal to full health maybe once, and I'm not sure if it's limited based on how many times you use it, or if it only restores a certain amount of HP. So if I'm at full health, will it still heal me all the way?

Not opposed to advice or support or anything, but this is mostly just a rant post. I need to complain, *together*

Yes it is after 4pm for me. Yes, I fell asleep around 7am, woke up at 8:30, and continued to wake up in sweat every 2 ish hours, feeling so much worse each time. My bed is literally soaked; I'm going to have to wash my sheets tonight.

I actually feel *sick* right now, but I'm pretty sure it's just the chronic illness combo + dehydration. I do have hydration packets and they help, but today is just an awful day.

I also just went poop, and I was planning on washing my hair today because it's gross, I feel gross all over because I haven't washed the sweat off yet and I just want to cry. I'm probably sleep deprived too, cause I go baby mode when I'm really tired.

And all the cold sweats made my joint pain from my arthritis worse and just AAAAAAAAAAUURRRGGGGHHH

Why. WHY can't I just lay in bed and not sweat? I hate this so much 😭

So my insurance stopped covering the Humira earlier this year, and I had to switch to Hadlima. I use the auto injector, and the Humira version with a button was fine. I mean it hurt, but not too badly, and it was worth it.

But the Hadlima on the other hand, the auto injector is pressure based, so no button. The shots hurt like hell, and I noticed that the medicine also comes out really fast. The Humira would take almost the whole 10 seconds to get all the meds in me, but the Hadlima seems to just shoot it, like literally it feels like I'm getting stabbed.

I'm scared of needles because of a few traumatic events regarding them, which is why I opted for the auto injector. And I'm also taking testosterone (since I'm trans) and I use a regular syringe for that since the needle is really short. And it's fine, it barely hurts at all during the shot, and afterwards I don't really feel much either. And I won't be on it forever, since I'll be stopping once my voice changes.

But I have to be on a biologic for the rest of my life if I don't want to be crying every day from pain, and the anticipation of being stabbed every two weeks is a lot, mentally.

Is this the only way? I'm not sure if my insurance will cover anything else since when I asked they just said Hadlima only, but is the syringe version any better? If the needle is super long I'm not sure how I'd handle it, but I suppose if it hurts less then maybe it's worth it?

I'm like, is it the way I'm doing it? I've done it by myself and with the help of someone else, and all 3 times I've done the injections before, it's hurt like hell every single time.

I use the same exact method I used with the Humira, cleaning with an alcohol wipe and making sure I grab the skin properly and firmly. Sometimes I prep with an ice pack, but it makes zero difference in the pain, and usually my entire lower body is super cold, and that can make it worse. And I always leave the pen out of the fridge for about an hour before I do it

Hey everybody, I'm 26, non-binary, disabled, and looking for friends! I know some of y'all are tired of these kinds of posts, but I don't exactly have the option to go out looking for friends right now, so you can just ignore this if you're not interested.

I had to quit my job due to a neck injury related to my arthritis, and I have been bored out of my damn mind! I live close to a library and several parks, so I have places to go nearby, but it's not the same without a friend, and most of my friends have day jobs so I spend a lot of time alone. 

I don't have any kids myself, but I'm okay with folks bringing their kids along, especially if we go somewhere child friendly like a park. I only mention "child friendly" hangouts in the title because disability friendly and child friendly often overlap.

I've also seen posts asking for child-free friends, and I literally do not care lol, I've grown up surrounded by kids (also used to be a nanny before becoming physically disabled) and my ADHD thrives on the chaos they bring. Plus, parents deserve to have community too.

I will either be in my electric wheelchair or be using a rollator, so wherever we go needs to be wheelchair accessible, and I have two parks (and a library) within walking distance of my apartment.

My interests: Music (both performing music and listening to it), RPG Videogames, Animated shows like Avatar the Last Airbender,  I like talking about subjects like mental health, social issues, disability in media, stuff like that. Open to weird bug/animal facts.

I used to really love biking, swimming, and hiking, although right now I can only manage swimming.

I like doing art, I used to paint, and started to get into doing makeup but unfortunately both of those things require lots of cleanup, so I've all but stopped now.

I also like baking, but I basically only make muffins and pumpkin bread. 

I'm currently trying to teach myself how to sew using the machines at the joco libraries; they have a lot of cool resources!

Anyway, I would prefer to meet folks around my age, like within 5-10 years, but I'm open to companionship of any kind. Bonus points if you're also neurodivergent and/or queer.

Looking forward to meeting you!