u/StudioInteresting409

In real life I think I look okay, but I have noticed that I often look down while talking to people, either to avoid eye contact or because I start panicking about how I am being perceived. I come across as very reserved or unsure, even when I do not mean to.

I also feel like I lack social skills because of past experiences that made me isolate myself and stay at home. I mostly work from home, so I have not really been exposed to many social situations.

I am also very camera shy and video shy. I feel like whenever I pose for photos or videos, they turn out bad, and I worry that people can immediately tell I am nervous just by looking at my face.

For me, confidence feels equal to beauty. I know I have faced a lot of struggles in life, and I consider myself educated and someone who takes risks. But this is one area where I still struggle.

Now I am transitioning into law, and I know being confident is important. I really want to face my fears and not live like this anymore. I want to become a confident woman who can carry herself well.

For people who have improved their confidence or body language, what actually helped you? Are there any practical things I can start doing daily to feel and appear more confident, especially on camera?

I am open to any advice, small habits, or mindset shifts that made a difference for you.

Hi, I am based in Mumbai and I am looking to buy black and white Indian formal outfits like suits or salwar sets for law internships.

I do not really want to wear western formals, but I still want something that looks simple, elegant, and professional. Good quality fabrics, minimal designs, nothing too flashy.

Any recommendations on where I can find such outfits, online or in Mumbai? Budget is flexible as long as the quality is worth it.

Would really appreciate suggestions!

Assalamu alaikum everyone,

I have been meaning to say this for a while. This comes from what I have been observing here and also from what I have personally experienced.

First, I want to say that there are some really sensible people in this sub. Even when they disagree, the way they put their point across is respectful and thoughtful. That is something I genuinely appreciate and it is what a healthy discussion should look like.

But at the same time, I have been noticing a pattern.

A lot of discussions somehow turn into gender wars. No matter what the original topic is, the focus shifts and it becomes about proving one side right and the other wrong. The actual purpose of the post gets lost.

Another thing is how easily we use words like feminist, independent, or liberal Muslim. These words are thrown around very casually, almost like labels to judge people instead of understanding them. Especially when a woman talks about her career, safety, or personal growth, she is quickly labeled instead of being heard.

You cannot judge any action without knowing the intention behind it or how a person is actually living their life. Everyone’s situation is different. Everyone’s experiences shape them. Not everyone is coming from the same place or dealing with the same things.

I have also seen rant posts where we do not even know the full story, yet people start judging the other person and making harsh comments. This often turns into gheebah, which we should all be careful about.

Calling someone a liberal Muslim just because they do not fit your personal definition is not fair. We are not here to decide someone else’s level of faith.

Sometimes it feels like we focus more on things that divide us or benefit our own viewpoint instead of focusing on what will actually build our community. With the way we sometimes interact, it becomes hard to even trust each other.

We already have a lot to deal with as a community, especially in today’s time. This kind of behavior just adds more negativity.

I understand that many people believe strongly in traditional gender roles, and that is your preference. I respect that. But attacking or mocking others because they do not fit into that, even when they are within Islamic boundaries, is not right.

We are supposed to be brothers and sisters, not people trying to pull each other down just to prove a point.

This is not about blaming the sub or anyone here. It is just an observation and a reminder for all of us, including myself. I respect this space, which is why I felt like saying this.

Let us try to be more mindful of what we say, avoid assuming the worst, and focus on better discussions.

We can do better, inshaAllah.

TLDR
Good discussions exist, but many posts turn into gender wars. Words like feminist or liberal Muslim are used to judge instead of understand. We often comment without knowing the full story or intention, which leads to negativity and even gheebah. Everyone has different experiences, and we should focus more on building the community instead of tearing each other down.

Hi everyone,

I wanted to ask if there are any self-defense training classes in Mumbai specifically for adult women and preferably run by female instructors. I’d feel more comfortable learning in that kind of environment.

If anyone has recommendations, personal experiences, or knows of any good academies/groups, please share.

Thanks in advance!

Hi everyone,

This is something I have been thinking about lately. As women, we already take so many precautions like avoiding going out late at night, sticking to public places, sharing our location, and still we never really know what could happen.

Ever since I started considering becoming a lawyer, this thought has been on my mind more seriously. It made me wonder whether learning self defense is something we should all consider at some point.

One thing I noticed is that it is actually quite hard to find classes led by women. Most of them seem to have male instructors, which might not be comfortable for everyone.

Also, we will not always have our mehrams like father, brother, or husband around us in every situation.

So I wanted to ask
Have you ever felt the need to learn self defense?
If yes, did you actually learn it? How and where?

Would love to hear your experiences and thoughts.

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for self-defense training in Mumbai specifically for adult women, preferably led by female instructors. I’d feel more comfortable learning in that kind of environment.

If you have any recommendations or personal experiences, please share.

Thanks!

Assalamu Alaikum everyone,

I'm reaching out on behalf of a friend who's looking for an entry level role and could use a hand from this community.

Background:

• BSc Information Technology (graduating 2026) from SM Shetty College, Mumbai
• Skills: Python, Java (basic), SQL/MySQL, HTML, CSS, and Generative AI tools (prompt engineering, ChatGPT, AI productivity tools)
• Built a full web app called LostFinder, a lost and found management system with MySQL backend, user auth, and a responsive UI
• Recent work experience as a Business Coordinator/Tour Consultant at LPO Holidays (handled 50+ client bookings, vendor coordination, customer service)

Looking for: Entry level roles in IT support, data analytics, junior development, or operations. Based in Mumbai (open to remote too)

If anyone here is hiring, knows of openings, or can point us toward companies/recruiters worth reaching out to, it would mean a lot. Happy to share the resume via DM.

Jazakallah Khair 🙏

Assalamualaikum everyone,

I am planning to do Hajj next year from Mumbai InshaAllah and wanted some guidance.

What is the approximate cost currently from Mumbai for Hajj

How do we apply from India is it through Hajj Committee or private agents

When do applications usually open

Also I wanted to understand the difference between going through government vs private. Are there any hassles with the government process and is private better in terms of convenience

If anyone has any genuine and not too costly private operator leads please share

Since I will need a mahram I am planning to go with my brother as my parents have already completed their Hajj

Any advice tips or experiences would really help as I want to plan my savings accordingly

JazakAllah khair

About me
I am 29 and based in Mumbai. I work as a Cloud Engineer in an MNC and I am also pursuing law this year. I am a simple and grounded person who values honesty, respect and emotional maturity. I am not looking for rigid or transactional roles. I believe in a partnership where both people support each other rather than pressuring each other into cultural gender roles.

I enjoy reading, cooking and helping others. I prefer a simple and peaceful lifestyle and I am someone who is always open to learning and growing.

What I am looking for
Someone who feels like a friend first and someone to go through life with together
Mumbaikar
Muslim
Hardworking and responsible
Respectful and a genuinely good human being
Supportive and emotionally aware
Religious in a genuine way, not just culturally
Takes care of his health and does not smoke or drink
Open to growth because none of us are perfect
Height at least 5’7

Not looking for
Not into gym obsessed personalities
Not looking for someone overly rich or materialistic
Not interested in people who focus on superficial things

If you are serious about marriage and this resonates with you, feel free to message with a proper introduction

I’m honestly feeling very exhausted and mentally drained, and I don’t know how to deal with this anymore.

I’m 29, and I understand that this is the age where people around me start pushing marriage more seriously. But I don’t want to get married right now. I’ve been through a bad relationship and I’m still trying to heal. I want time to feel okay again and eventually choose someone wisely for myself.

But the pressure just doesn’t stop.

Relatives keep bringing it up constantly, saying things like “don’t delay it” or “get her married soon”, and they say all this in front of my dad, which just puts more pressure on him and then on me.

Sometimes it even turns into emotional pressure where my dad’s health is indirectly brought into the conversation, which makes it even harder to deal with because it feels like I’m being made responsible for something I can’t control.

Even though I know my parents also want this, I’m trying really hard to focus on the positive side and not create conflict. But it’s getting to a point where I don’t feel at peace in my own house anymore.

I stay at home, I work, I earn, I’m pursuing another degree. I’m genuinely trying to build my life. But none of that seems to matter compared to marriage.

The worst part is, even while living with them, I feel completely alone. Like no one really understands what I’m going through.

Also, it’s not just about taking time. Even after time, I don’t know if I’ll find the right person, and if I don’t, I don’t want to force myself into marriage just for the sake of it. There’s no guarantee in this, and I wish people understood that.

Sometimes it gets so overwhelming that I feel like I need to leave just to get some peace.

Has anyone else felt this way? How do you deal with this kind of constant pressure without completely breaking down or damaging your relationship with your parents?

I just want time and space to decide something this big on my own terms.

I am 29 and I am struggling to forgive myself.

All my life, I did not really know how to be a woman I could be proud of. I lacked boundaries, I let people disrespect me, and I stayed in situations where I should have walked away. I did not understand self respect. I would beg people to stay even when they treated me badly.

Now when I look back, I feel like I was my own enemy. All of this has made me very underconfident, and I carry a lot of regret and shame.

I keep thinking why did I not choose myself? Why did I not walk away sooner?

I want to move forward and become a better and stronger person, but I feel stuck because I cannot forgive myself for who I used to be.

Has anyone else gone through this? How did you learn to forgive yourself and rebuild your self worth?

Hey everyone,

Would be nice to connect with others pursuing 3 year LLB this year.

We can stay in touch, share updates/resources, and just have a small circle of people on the same journey.

I feel like it helps to know a few familiar faces early on, whether for discussions, guidance, or just talking things through when needed.

We can connect on LinkedIn or any platform that feels comfortable.

If anyone’s interested, feel free to connect

Edit: I am a girl so even girls can connect 😅

Planning to buy health insurance for my family and feeling a bit confused with all the options out there.

Would really appreciate if you could share what plans you’re using and how your experience has been (claims, customer support, etc.).

Any recommendations or things I should avoid?

There is a couple currently in Mumbai for breast cancer treatment at Tata Hospital. The woman is 37 and the husband is 41. They are originally from Tripura and came here because treatment is more affordable.

The treatment has already been ongoing for the past 7 months and is expected to continue for another 9 months.

Even though the treatment cost is subsidized, they are still struggling with expenses like medicines outside the hospital, daily needs, and supporting their children back home.

The husband has back issues and is trying to find work but is unable to because he needs to stay with his wife for hospital visits. Many employers are not willing to hire him due to his situation. He also tried getting into taxi driving but was told he needs a local permit or batch which he cannot get as a non local.

They have three daughters. One is married and the other two are staying with her, but even there they need to send money as the situation is not very supportive. The woman’s mother in Tripura is doing house cleaning work to help fund the treatment.

What options do people in such situations have in Mumbai
Are there any support systems NGOs temporary work options or financial aid that they can realistically access

Looking for genuine advice that could actually help them

There is a couple currently in Mumbai for breast cancer treatment at Tata Hospital. The woman is 37 and the husband is 41. They are originally from Tripura and came here because treatment is more affordable.

The treatment has already been ongoing for the past 7 months and is expected to continue for another 9 months.

Even though the treatment cost is subsidized, they are still struggling with expenses like medicines outside the hospital, daily needs, and supporting their children back home.

The husband has back issues and is trying to find work but is unable to because he needs to stay with his wife for hospital visits. Many employers are not willing to hire him due to his situation. He also tried getting into taxi driving but was told he needs a local permit or batch which he cannot get as a non local.

They have three daughters. One is married and the other two are staying with her, but even there they need to send money as the situation is not very supportive. The woman’s mother in Tripura is doing house cleaning work to help fund the treatment.

What options do people in such situations have in Mumbai
Are there any support systems NGOs temporary work options or financial aid that they can realistically access

Looking for genuine advice that could actually help them

I’m 29 and trying to move on from a relationship that ended around 6 months ago. It was honestly toxic and I know I’m better off without it.

But the truth is, it has broken me in a lot of ways. I still get random waves of emotion where I cry so much that my eyes and head start hurting. Other times I keep replaying everything in my mind on a loop. What happened, how he treated me, the disrespect, the character attacks, all the drama towards the end.

I think somewhere it’s also because I didn’t feel loved for a long time, and even though he wasn’t good for me, at least he was there. That makes it harder to fully detach.

I’ve also had a lot of difficult experiences growing up and in friendships, so it feels like this isn’t just about one relationship. It feels deeper than that.

Now I’ve started feeling scared of relationships and men in general. I know there are good men out there, but the idea of marriage gives me anxiety. At the same time I do feel like I want someone, but I don’t even try. No apps, no interest in arranged setups, nothing.

I did try therapy for some time. It helped a bit, but it’s honestly expensive and when I started feeling a little okay, I stopped.

For people who’ve gone through something similar, what actually helped you heal in a practical way? What did you do that genuinely made a difference over time?