u/SubstantialSoup8719

Help us out please - my husband and I have 5 daughters. He has two older girls (21 and 19) and we have three together (9, 7, and 1). Just like any family with kids all of one gender we constantly get gross comments (of course because we have girls, he is the one who gets the most).

Everything from “when are you going to stop trying for a boy?” to “all girls? Oh no, dads need boys!” to “that’s a lot of estrogen you sure are outnumbered!”

It can be great fun when we are out with just some of them and people say something about “oh, wow, three girls” and we say “five actually” and their eyes bug out lol. But if they choose to follow it with something that suggests girls are more difficult or less desirable for dads or that we only have 5 because we wanted another gender, I think it’s really problematic for our kids to overhear. Adults say things like that even with the children right there.
My husband is extremely shy and non-confrontational. What are some sarcastic or seemingly polite but humbling responses he could keep in his back pocket that would show the girls how much he loves and values being a “girl dad” while putting these folks in their place?

Update: he blocked me 😂 I don’t think I’ve ever been blocked before I’m kind of flattered.

But I did anyway in a forum that is supposedly research and science based. Had a gym bro tell me (referring to someone who has been not lost weight despite following typical diet and exercise advice and is considering tirz) “CICO always applies. Metabolic disfunction just impacts the CO part of that equation, many times requiring a lower deficit than those without. And yes, drugs help with that part of the equation but it is not directly impacting metabolism.”
And
“Starvation mode isn't a thing. Either you were eating things not being tracked (usually it's oils and sauces) or you actual target was just too high for your expenditure.”
And
“A calorie deficit is defined by an actual loss of weight. If no loss, no deficit.”

And now I’m in a bad mood on this lovely Saturday 🤪

Edit to add: the OP on this post literally said she was working with both a nutritionist and a personal trainer who said something was severely wrong with her metabolism because everything she’s doing “should“ be working. I’m sure Gym Bro knows better though. 🙄

Hi everybody! I’m so excited to have found this sub. I have been scrolling through posts and feel like I’ve really found my people.

Like many of you I deal with chronic illness (two different autoimmune conditions), mild hypothyroidism, and lifelong disordered eating habits (I started hating my body at age nine when I was on heavy steroids for autoimmune issues). Chronic illness combined with binge/restrict cycles and medication through puberty absolutely decimated my metabolism so that no matter what I do I’ve never been able to loose weight despite Drs never finding anything “wrong”.

About 3 years ago I learned about intuitive eating and decided I’d never restrict again, and learned to recognize just how dysfunctional my relationship with food was. That was really profound for me and has lead to me thinking less about food and less about my body than I can ever remember. I spent a lot of time coming to terms with my body just being what it is, learning to rest and manage my autoimmune flares, and be at peace with myself. I thought I had eliminated/overcome all food noise and probably 90% of my overeating habits… more on that in a second though.

A little over a year ago, some scans showed the start of arthritis in my knee (at age 31) and my Dr mentioned a GLP-1 might be helpful to reduce stress on my joints. I ended up becoming pregnant before I could start them but am now sufficiently post partum that I decided to try. My chronic conditions cause a MASSIVE amount of inflammation and are in a post-partum flare that has been difficult to get under control, so the potential benefits there are my primary motivation although weight loss would be nice.

I can already tell this may be a complicated journey as I’ve gone through SO many mixed feelings in just three days since starting. I unintentionally wandered into another sub and came across really unhelpful rhetoric that made me think more about weight loss than I have in a long time. On one hand it gave me hope, made me imagine what it might be like to have something WORK for the first time ever. What would it be like to live in the body I always wanted? On the other it made me terrified that it won’t work and I’ll come crashing down. I hadn’t intended to set any kind of number or size goal but I fear that deep down I do have one. It’s tempting to lean into the excitement of imagining that reality but it also feels dangerous.

I am only on 1.5mg to start, for two weeks before going up to 2.5. I’ve got a compounded Tirzeptide/B6 formulation. I didn’t expect to notice anything initially but I’m definitely more rested, waking up feeling alert and with energy? A foreign feeling. That may be the B vitamin but it’s a welcome surprise. I have actually experienced more hunger than usual, more frequently (I am ADHD and often don’t notice when I might be hungry during the day and then eat too much later on). But what is really, really surprising is what food I want. I want - vegetables??? I’ve never craved a vegetable IN MY LIFE and now when I get hungry I think about it and it’s like “oooo fresh hummus and carrots sounds so good rn”. Or tonight my husband is doing homemade pizza - cheeseburger toppings, a family favorite! And I just finished prepping broccoli and spinach to add to my portion??? Because I want it, not out of guilt or a diet mentality? You can bet I am going to have bacon on there too but I am very confused. I have also found it easy to stop eating when I begin to be full. It made me realize how much compulsive over eating I was still doing even though it was so much less than in some life stages. This is a first and I keep wondering if it’s a placebo effect or a fluke, but I intend to continue to go with it and just see what happens. It does make me wonder if this is how normal people feel.

Interestingly the only time I’ve been able to easily manage my weight or lost unintentionally was during pregnancy. Not due to morning sickness or any change in diet so I wonder if that points to some sort of metabolic change, and I wonder if these meds might have a similar effect.

This is a novel but it’s been a great place to throw out and process some of my thoughts and fears - I’ve loved reading everyone’s posts and can’t tell you how many times something has been said that resonated with me deeply. Thank you for being such a positive and helpful community, I have a feeling I‘ll be turning to reading posts here frequently.