u/Subtlefeline

Does anyone else have Asian parents who just don't decorate their house at all? No paintings, no pictures, nothing at all. Not even patterned table cloth. Just everything bare and functional (well, under their hoarding mess that is).

Maybe it's just quarter-life crisis hitting as I turn 30 this year. But moving out has been on my mind lately more than ever.

I guess it is more common for people to move out due to their job, move out with siblings or when they get married. Moving out to live close by seems... awkward?

The whole reason I am thinking of moving out is coz I feel like there is less and less space in this house for me. Don't really have a proper and private room to myself despite the house being so big coz of weird house layout and mom claiming a lot of the space.

While I do have a place to put my things, it isn't uncommon to find my things thrown away, missing, re-arranged then broken as a result (things which should be placed in cool places placed near the window, heavy things placed on fragile items).

While I have confronted my mom, she just pleads ignorance or scolds backs "You so poor meh? Go buy again, what's so hard?" Tbf, she does the same to my dad and he has given up saying anything.

Don't have an ability to have my own furniture. I can certainly afford to pay for my own furniture but my parents won't let me put away or throw out their half working old furniture whi h they themselves don't want in their space.

And just because my place is the neatest place in the house, I end up finding things being dumped in there which my parents can't find a place to put it "Your place so big and got space?"

I do pay the utility bills and all of the pet care cost. Have 10+ cats which mom picked up. Once I could afford it, I neutered all of them and bring them for annual vaccinations. I do question if my parents can afford to pay all that if I move out though.

Doesn't help that the house is slowly breaking down. No one flags issues, no one wants to do maintenance work. I offered to pay but then parents said cannot find someone to fix it. I suggested asking neighbours, but then they said it would be too expensive. Not my house so not like I can let people in without their permission.

Still wonder if those are valid reasons to move out.

Tl;dr: Wanting to move out to have a space of my own. Not sure if that is a legit reason to want to move out.

Those aren't birds.

Middle management but no staff under me. It's a very technical accounting role as well.

I'm finding that constant context switching happens coz the sheer number of projects happening simultaneously.

Most of the time I spend emailing to follow up with stakeholders and working on things once I receive replies from them. On top of technical work and meeting papers. So I spend my days going in, remembering the context of this project, push things so they move, get out and move on to the next project.

I noticed that by the time I finish project no 7 for the day, I literally can't think straight anymore even though the days were filled of just emails.

Any idea on how to deal with context switching?

Am 30 this year. Started out in audit early when I was 20 after passing my professional papers (3 more to go but that was to be done while I was working).

Seems like my job history was horrendous with the fact that I tend to burn out every 2-3 years.

I tried so hard to cling onto my audit job in big 4 but eventually left after a fellow AM collapsed from what the doctors suspected as a stroke. Was unemployed for almost 6 months before my father finally found me a job at his friend's company. Changed to another place since that company was undergoing restructuring and have been here just shy of 2 years.

I am full aware that my father had bought a landed property in his late 20's. He also went up the corporate ladder much faster than him.

Me? No house, no family, still living with parents even when I am 30. Only managed to get to middle management after almost 10 years of working. Haish.

I know the solution would be to grind harder, but problem is, even now if I OT a bit more, the next day will get sick with a flu. The body seems like no longer able to work any more after spending 14 hours a day working in audit.

Tl; dr: Graduated early, started work early, worked long hours but feels like for nothing.

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Happened to me even on a Sunday. Woke up, was aware of, oh, I need to work on Project A, B and C this Monday. And oh, Project D is due this Tuesday.

I use Microsoft To-Do to have reminders on deadlines. Have a physical whiteboard at my desk as well with all the ongoing projects and their deadlines.

Guess the problem is, there are a lot of projects ongoing, and a lot are waiting for external input so I can't get it done until I get the input. And it is also my job ro chase them for input.

I have no idea how to turn my brain off from work. It is the first thing I think about when waking up

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Feels like if you burn out even just once in life, that is it, no coming back from it. New permanent state for now.

Am 30, been working corporate for almost 10 years and have burnt out in my past 3 jobs (now is 4th job) already.

Feels like even when work is decent, the intrinsic hatred of working is there.

Maybe am just too weak for adulting and life.

I guess the timing also doesn't help much either. But after looking at a very technical paper for 5 whole days (yes including Saturday and Sunday), I sort of fried my brain. Had to manually think when I was eating my mixed rice as the brain forgot how to eat if that is possible.

Problem is, Wednesday is public holiday so sick/emergency leave will look bad. Ughh..

Been taking language lessons out of work (due to personal reasons since my SO is from another country) lately. Class is from 7.30 pm to 9.00 pm which should be workable since it is outside of working hours right?

Apparently not. Not only do I find it hard to keep up with homework but I also find it my work slipping and deadlines getting at risk at being missed. So I likely need to work over time after this for a while to keep everything on track again.

Corporate life just seems to consume life. I feel like I can't even afford on focusing on anything outside of work.

I have known since I was a kid that no one will save me. And that I am 100% responsible for saving myself.

My family definitely doesn't help. It is a good day when they don't add to the problem list instead.

Therapy? Yeah, been in therapy for more than 2 years. Nothing really changed.

So eh. No one will save me. But past experience tells me that me saving myself is not going too well either. How do people even do it?

Other than a brief stint of working in the office, my mother has been a full time house wife. Well, sort of. More on that later.

My father has always been the sole breadwinner for the family. My mother always complained on what a useless husband he was since he would sleep over the weekends. Tbf, no one is allowed in the kitchen and he does the gardening and handy work. Admittedly is a traditional house hold split though.

And on the house wife part. Ever since I was a kid, I was the one handling the laundry, cleaning, setting up tables and pet stuff around the house. So not too sure what the 'housewife' was busy with tbh.

While I do still live with them, I do a lot less of the housework since I work full time in office with a 40 minutes commute.

Which brings to the issue. My mother still does make snarky comments at anyone (including my father and myself) on how it is impossible to be tired working in office. Funny thing is, I see her taking more breaks as a housewife compared to when I am working. Like, I have full time office work even when I was WFH for 8-9 hours a day. My mother does maybe... 3-4 hours of house work with lots of breaks in between.

I have worked in corporate for almost a decade now.

Used to work in public accounting where it was turning on laptop after reaching home from work to work unpaid overtime due to the sheer work load. Covid times were the worse since it was working non stop due to reduced head count, same work load but lesser job opportunities out there.

I love to game. But now I can't even open my gaming laptop to play games after work hours.

And it does negatively affect my work since I can't even open my gaming/home laptop at home to do any upskilling courses either.