u/Successful-Offer-666

Hi everyone. This is actually my first time asking strangers for relationship advice because I’ve always kept my relationship very private.

My boyfriend(26M) and I(25F) have been together for 3.5 years. We started dating in college and he’s loved me with everything he has since day one. He was never the academic or corporate type, he comes from a Gujarati business family and has always dreamed of building something of his own. Right now he’s working a corporate job and genuinely putting in the effort and I’ve always believed he has the potential to do well.

The thing is, I’ve started getting marriage proposals from guys our age who are already well settled. My parents, like most parents will naturally look at stability and income first. They’re not forcing me to get married, I don’t even want to think about marriage before 30 but I can’t ignore reality either.

I love him and I truly see a future with him. He said, he needs time. But I also wonder if by the time we’re actually ready to marry, our lifestyles and expectations will align. Living comfortably in a tier 1 city isn’t cheap and I don’t want to compromise on the life my parents worked so hard to give me. That doesn’t make me a gold digger, I just want financial compatibility.

I believe in his potential but potential also needs time. And that’s the part that scares me. I probably won’t be able to keep saying no to proposals forever, especially after 28.

How do you choose between someone you love deeply and the uncertainty of what the future might look like?

I’ve already given one attempt but it was right after college and honestly, I wasn’t even half prepared. I know that you need to be mains ready by December, but how do people realistically get there? My GS foundation still doesn’t feel strong enough, I barely touched mains specific subjects last year and my core subjects are nowhere near being at my fingertips yet.

How do you balance standard sources, current affairs, optional, mains ready notes and consistent answer writing all by December? It honestly feels overwhelming and the anxiety that comes with it just makes it harder to figure out where to begin. I know this exam demands a lot but I’d really appreciate some perspective from people who’ve been through this.

Could you all please share a broad roadmap on how you’d approach the next few months if you were in my position? Also, would you recommend joining a mains answer writing test series like Forum MGP or a course like Saarthi’s MMP+? Which one would make more sense at this stage of preparation? Any advice would genuinely mean a lot.

I’ve already given one attempt but it was right after college and honestly, I wasn’t even half prepared. I know that you need to be mains ready by December, but how do people realistically get there? My GS foundation still doesn’t feel strong enough, I barely touched mains specific subjects last year and my core subjects are nowhere near being at my fingertips yet.

How do you balance standard sources, current affairs, optional, mains ready notes and consistent answer writing all by December? It honestly feels overwhelming and the anxiety that comes with it just makes it harder to figure out where to begin. I know this exam demands a lot but I’d really appreciate some perspective from people who’ve been through this.

Could you all please share a broad roadmap on how you’d approach the next few months if you were in my position? Also, would you recommend joining a mains answer writing test series like Forum MGP or a course like Saarthi’s MMP+? Which one would make more sense at this stage of preparation? Any advice would genuinely mean a lot.

I’ve already given one attempt but it was right after college and honestly, I wasn’t even half prepared. I know that you need to be mains ready by December, but how do people realistically get there? My GS foundation still doesn’t feel strong enough, I barely touched mains specific subjects last year and my core subjects are nowhere near being at my fingertips yet.

How do you balance standard sources, current affairs, optional, mains ready notes and consistent answer writing all by December? It honestly feels overwhelming and the anxiety that comes with it just makes it harder to figure out where to begin. I know this exam demands a lot but I’d really appreciate some perspective from people who’ve been through this.

Could you all please share a broad roadmap on how you’d approach the next few months if you were in my position? Also, would you recommend joining a mains answer writing test series like Forum MGP or a course like Saarthi’s MMP+? Which one would make more sense at this stage of preparation? Any advice would genuinely mean a lot.

I've been in this prep for over 2.5 years now. I know this path isn't everyone's cup of tea and I chose it willingly. I don't regret choosing it but some days are definitely heavier than others.

Yesterday, I posted an instagram story because I genuinely liked that picture. It had been a while since I posted anything. A lot of people replied but one reply in particular stayed with me. An old close friend texted asking, "Where have you been? What are you doing these days?"

The thing is, I haven't told many people that I'm preparing for UPSC. Only a handful of really close people know. I just didn't feel like telling everyone that I'm unemployed and preparing for a competitive exam. Somehow saying it out loud still feels uncomfortable.

This friend was always someone who enjoyed life to the fullest, parties, trips, fun, all of it. Today she's working, travelling and seems to be doing well. And honestly this isn't just about her.

Sometimes I feel like this phase of life especially as a woman is supposed to be about building a career, making memories, finding love, travelling, meeting new people and just... living.

I understand that this preparation demands a different level of commitment and I'm willing to give it because this was MY choice. No one forced me into it.

But I'd be lying if I said it doesn't hurt sometimes.

Watching people who barely seemed serious about academics in college now earning well, having vibrant social lives, travelling, finding their love, getting married😶 it does get to me. I'm genuinely happy for them. I don't envy their happiness. But every once in a while, I catch myself wondering...WILL ALL OF THIS BE WORTH IT?

Maybe this is why people say staying off social media helps. I had been away from it for years and recently came back. I didn't expect one simple story to stir up so many emotions.

And now I'm stuck with the simplest question: "What are you doing these days?"

I don't want to lie and say I'm working because that's just not who I am. But for some reason telling the truth feels so vulnerable too.

Has anyone else ever felt this way? Like you're okay with your choices but still mourning the life you're missing out on while chasing a dream?

I've been in this prep for over 2.5 years now. I know this path isn't everyone's cup of tea and I chose it willingly. I don't regret choosing it but some days are definitely heavier than others.

Yesterday, I posted an instagram story because I genuinely liked that picture. It had been a while since I posted anything. A lot of people replied but one reply in particular stayed with me. An old close friend texted asking, "Where have you been? What are you doing these days?"

The thing is, I haven't told many people that I'm preparing for UPSC. Only a handful of really close people know. I just didn't feel like telling everyone that I'm unemployed and preparing for a competitive exam. Somehow saying it out loud still feels uncomfortable.

This friend was always someone who enjoyed life to the fullest, parties, trips, fun, all of it. Today she's working, travelling and seems to be doing well. And honestly this isn't just about her.

Sometimes I feel like this phase of life especially as a woman is supposed to be about building a career, making memories, finding love, travelling, meeting new people and just... living.

I understand that this preparation demands a different level of commitment and I'm willing to give it because this was MY choice. No one forced me into it.

But I'd be lying if I said it doesn't hurt sometimes.

Watching people who barely seemed serious about academics in college now earning well, having vibrant social lives, travelling, finding their love, getting married😶 it does get to me. I'm genuinely happy for them. I don't envy their happiness. But every once in a while, I catch myself wondering...WILL ALL OF THIS BE WORTH IT?

Maybe this is why people say staying off social media helps. I had been away from it for years and recently came back. I didn't expect one simple story to stir up so many emotions.

And now I'm stuck with the simplest question: "What are you doing these days?"

I don't want to lie and say I'm working because that's just not who I am. But for some reason telling the truth feels so vulnerable too.

Has anyone else ever felt this way? Like you're okay with your choices but still mourning the life you're missing out on while chasing a dream?

I’m a 24F(just for context) and I’ve been in this journey for around 2 years. During the first year, I was part of a foundation course which was messed up. The initial phase of my preparation lacked direction and I spent a lot of time figuring things out. I’ve appeared for one attempt and chose to skip this year’s exam because I knew my preparation especially for mains was incomplete. I was also considering pursuing a master’s, which added to the uncertainty.

I’m now restarting my preparation with a clear focus on 2027. The stakes are high for me this time and I genuinely want to approach my preparation in the most effective way possible. I don’t have a mentor or anyone around me to guide me, so I’d really appreciate some clarity.

1. My goal is to complete the remaining mains syllabus by November. Should I enroll in a Mains answer writing programme? If yes, when should I begin answer writing and note making , alongside completing the lectures or is it better to first finish a subject and then move to notes and practice?

2. My optional is psir. I completed its foundation course in 2025 and have read the material quite a few times but it has been a while, so I’ll need to revise it thoroughly. How should I balance psir with GS so that both are substantially completed by the end of this year? Also when should I start making optional notes and writing answers, after one or two readings or only after finishing a particular topic

Any suggestions whether on strategy, sequencing, or common mistakes to avoid would be greatly appreciated. I’m looking for a practical and structured approach which would help me feel confident for my next attempt. Any guidance from someone experienced would mean a lot.

I’m a 24F(just for context) and I’ve been in this journey for around 2 years. During the first year, I was part of a foundation course which was messed up. The initial phase of my preparation lacked direction and I spent a lot of time figuring things out. I’ve appeared for one attempt and chose to skip this year’s exam because I knew my preparation especially for mains was incomplete. I was also considering pursuing a master’s, which added to the uncertainty.

I’m now restarting my preparation with a clear focus on 2027. The stakes are high for me this time and I genuinely want to approach my preparation in the most effective way possible. I don’t have a mentor or anyone around me to guide me, so I’d really appreciate some clarity.

1. My goal is to complete the remaining mains syllabus by November. Should I enroll in a Mains answer writing programme? If yes, when should I begin answer writing and note making , alongside completing the lectures or is it better to first finish a subject and then move to notes and practice?

2. My optional is psir. I completed its foundation course in 2025 and have read the material quite a few times but it has been a while, so I’ll need to revise it thoroughly. How should I balance psir with GS so that both are substantially completed by the end of this year? Also when should I start making optional notes and writing answers, after one or two readings or only after finishing a particular topic

Any suggestions whether on strategy, sequencing, or common mistakes to avoid would be greatly appreciated. I’m looking for a practical and structured approach which would help me feel confident for my next attempt. Any guidance from someone experienced would mean a lot.

I have a bachelor’s in pol sci and graduated in 2023. I'm planning to enroll in a master's program this year but honestly, this journey without a job has been miserable.

With each passing day, I find myself wondering if I should have started this preparation only after securing a job, maybe after mba, maybe after clearing ugc net or at least after having some financial stability to fall back on. The uncertainty feels heavier than it did before.

What makes it harder is that I chose this path with complete conviction. Back then, I was so focused on clearing that one exam that everything else became secondary. Despite having a good cgpa and other options, I chose the humanities because I genuinely believed I knew where I was headed. Now, I often wonder if that certainty belonged more to a dream than to reality.

In an economy like this, the scope of a humanities degree can feel painfully bleak. Some days the anxiety is overwhelming on others, I feel nothing at all. Just a quiet numbness that comes from watching time pass while still searching for a foothold.

I want to earn, become financially independent and continue preparing alongside work. But the more I think about it, the more confused I become about what opportunities truly exist for someone with my background.

People who have gone through this, please help me out.