u/Such-Tangerine-7526

this term is very harmful in the long run. it not only highlights and condemns bad behavior (which is good), but gives our entire race a bad rep, affecting the people who are not acting this way (which is the bad part). black people are not a monolith. yes meanings change over time, but in this algorithmic culture that encourages binary thinking, i feel like this could be slowly turned against the greater black community by the wrong people and actually be used to put us further back in unity and more into discrimination/power imbalances.

i’m not for this term in the context it’s being used in. it needs to be changed to something else that isn’t so stereotypical and one-sided. an entire race shouldn’t have to be degraded because of behavior that a sub-culture of black people are exhibiting.

i was hired and started at a chick-fil-a about three weeks ago, and while i’ve passed training (which is only one week at my location) and can effectively manage drive-thru and dining order-taking (my two stronger links probably because they are easier once you get reps), i feel so incompetent and slow, especially with bagging and drinks. i am a clumsy person naturally (ex. trying to help fill the ice cream machines and having most of it spill over, making my fellow co-workers slightly annoyed). i really want to do a good job and not put so much pressure on myself, but the fast-paced environment is a lot more than i bargained for and is an adjustment for sure.

how has anyone else managed being new to the fast food environment? i feel so tired and don’t regret working here, i just haven’t had time to fully breathe yet lol

i think the correlation between whitney (and quite literally any artist with her level of fame and then demise) and the way people see her today is really complex and weird. people only view whitney in terms of who she was as “The Voice” and how perfect she was in that aspect, but they still struggle to grasp the fact, that like all of us, she was human and not just a talented singer but had and wanted a true life outside of that. she wanted a family and children, kind people around her, and most importantly, wanted people to know that she was a real person outside of her God-given gift. but people fail to see “her” and just critique her like crazy for mistakes that millions of people make. it’s so sad how the media and society make these people gods in their eyes, so that when you fall in the pit of human imperfection, you fall hard. it must be a lot of pressure, and nobody could be ready for that, much less her.

i am always so saddened by her story, and i wish people would stop idolizing humans like this beyond their incredible talents and gifts.

title bc are you kidding me? my nigerian parents never let my siblings and i go ANYWHERE up until we went to college. for example, my school friends wanted to go to the local aquarium when i was 14. it is literally three minutes away from our house, 20 minutes walking. i told my mom four days in advance of this plan, and she said she would talk to God about it and let me know, but that she’s not getting a good feeling about it. she says this all the time about ANY situation she doesn’t agree with btw.

the next day, she calls me downstairs and says i need to cancel with them immediately because the Lord showed her a vision that i would lose my destiny hanging with those group of friends that aren’t christian. because this wasn’t a new occurrence at that point, i didn’t even argue with her, went to my room, and told my friends i could not go.

this has happened, without fail, in close to 95% of my requests to live a normal childhood and hang out with friends. my parents believe that unless there is a academic or religious purpose for seeing friends outside of school, to not even entertain asking them about it.

and now, as a young adult, i’m pretty quiet and keep to myself, and don’t really like big parties or crowds, preferring to stay home and chill than go to a function. and yet they CRITICIZE me for not being “charismatic husband material (???)” and saying “i lack life skills and need to socialize more”?? LIKE BRO I AM DONE YOU MADE ME THIS WAY. you can never win with these people.

i’m really scared that i’ve decided to do this but it’s been long overdue.

i’m a nigerian-american (20M) who has faced a lot of religious (christian) trauma, physical/emotional abuse, and expectations to become a doctor, marry a wife, and raise children/grandchildren. in all of this, i’m gay, a national-award winning violinist, and a church-rooted singer who aspires to have a successful music career and a happy life on my terms. i’m not very good at STEM and more creatively inclined. i know that i have a special gift in music. my parents truly forced me down the route of medicine, making me believe there was nothing else i could do and that i would fail in a music career. i internalized this and sacrificed a lot to make my family proud of me.

now i’m realizing more than ever that i’m very unhappy with this life to the point that it’s affecting my mental and physical health. i’m still not out to my parents, and i just lost a full-ride scholarship at a well-regarded university due to a hard loss, more strained parental dynamics/increased expectations, and a very deep depression that really paralyzed me. i still feel like a massive failure.

for my own sanity, i need to start over. i’m getting a job now over the summer, working as much as i can, and preparing to cut my (very toxic) parents off so i can move to the area of the music conservatory where i will be transferring to (that i got into before but my parents wouldn’t pay for). i will then take this upcoming year to frugally save, prepare an audition, and figure out my purpose personally and artistically before starting school again.

does anyone have any further advice that they can give right now?

i’m really scared that i’ve decided to do this but it’s been long overdue.

i’m a nigerian-american (20M) who has faced a lot of religious (christian) trauma, physical/emotional abuse, and expectations to become a doctor, marry a wife, and raise children/grandchildren for my parents. in the back of all of this, i’m gay, a national-award winning violinist, and a church-rooted singer who aspires to have a successful music career and a happy life on my terms. i’m not very good at STEM and more creatively inclined. i know i have a special gift in music. my parents truly forced me down the route of medicine, making me believe there was nothing else i could do and that i would fail in a music career. i internalized this and sacrificed a lot to make my family proud of me.

now i’m realizing more than ever that i’m very unhappy with this life to the point that it’s affecting my mental and physical health. i’m still not out to my parents, and i just lost a full-ride scholarship at a well-regarded university due to a hard loss, more strained parental dynamics/increased expectations, and a very deep depression that really paralyzed me. i still feel like a massive failure.

for my own sanity, i need to start over. i’m getting a job now over the summer, working as much as i can, and preparing to cut my (very toxic) parents off so i can move to the area of the music conversatory where i will be transferring to (that i got into before but my parents wouldn’t pay for). i will then take this upcoming year to prepare, audition, and figure out my purpose personally and artistically before starting school again.

does anyone have any further advice that they can give right now?

i’m really scared that i’ve decided to do this but it’s been long overdue.

i’m a nigerian-american (20M) who has faced a lot of religious (christian) trauma, physical/emotional abuse, and expectations to become a doctor, marry a wife, and raise children/grandchildren for my parents. in the back of all of this, i’m gay, a national-award winning violinist, and a church-rooted singer who aspires to have a successful music career and a happy life on my terms. i’m not very good at STEM and more creatively inclined. i know i have a special gift in music. my parents truly forced me down the route of medicine, making me believe there was nothing else i could do and that i would fail in a music career. i internalized this and sacrificed a lot to make my family proud of me.

now i’m realizing more than ever that i’m very unhappy with this life to the point that it’s affecting my mental and physical health. i’m still not out to my parents, and i just lost a full-ride scholarship at a well-regarded university due to a hard loss, more strained parental dynamics/increased expectations, and a very deep depression that really paralyzed me. i still feel like a massive failure.

for my own sanity, i need to start over. i’m getting a job now over the summer, working as much as i can, and preparing to cut my (very toxic) parents off so i can move to the area of the music conversatory where i will be transferring to (that i got into before but my parents wouldn’t pay for). i will then take this upcoming year to prepare, audition, and figure out my purpose personally and artistically before starting school again.

does anyone have any further advice that they can give right now?

i’m really scared that i’ve decided to do this but it’s been long overdue.

i’m a nigerian-american (20M) who has faced a lot of religious (christian) trauma, and physical/emotional expectations to become a doctor, marry a wife, and raise children/grandchildren for my parents. in the back of all of this, i’m gay, a national-award winning violinist, and a church-rooted singer who aspires to have a successful music career and a happy life on my terms. i’m not very good at STEM and more creatively inclined. i know i have a special gift in music. my parents truly forced me down the route of medicine, making me believe there was nothing else i could do and that i would fail in a music career. i internalized this and sacrificed a lot to make my family proud of me.

now i’m realizing more than ever that i’m very unhappy with this life to the point that it’s affecting my mental and physical health. i’m still not out to my parents, and i just lost a full-ride scholarship at a well-regarded university due to a hard loss, more strained parental dynamics/increased expectations, and a very deep depression that really paralyzed me. i still feel like a massive failure.

for my own sanity, i need to start over. i’m getting a job now over the summer, working as much as i can, and preparing to cut my (very toxic) parents off and moving to the area of the music conversatory where i will be transferring to (that i got into before but my parents wouldn’t pay for). i will then take this upcoming year to prepare, audition, and figure out my purpose personally and artistically before starting school again.

does anyone have any further advice that they can give right now?