u/SuchConversation1873

Long story short, I graduated with two bachelors degrees in 2020. I got a job as a marketing manager for a large tech company but was fired shortly after my brother passed away.

I've been trying to rebuild my career and have worked retail and Healthcare (front desk and claims processing). I recently got a job as an administrative coordinator for a tech company which i was really excited about since it lets me get back into tech even though its through an agency. Most of the job is stocking shelves.

My manager keeps getting upset with me. There seems to be a lot of miscommunication. The other day, I tried to be nice by putting away the breakfast she left out on her floor and putting the tray in the sink. She thanked me the next morning but asked that next time I wash the dish too. I thought she meant the next time I want to help out since she explicitly said that she takes care of the 6th floor and I take care of 5th and 7th.

Anyways, I explained to her my thinking and clarified that I'm supposed to take care of whatever is leftover on the 6th floor too.

Today, she asked me to pick out menu items (we do daily lunch catering for employees). I thought she meant that I should pick out my lunch items in advance since I'll be gone on vacation the rest of this week.

Then later on in the day she asks me why I didn't send her a copy of the menu for next week. I told her I interpreted her instructions to mean that I needed to pick out my menu items.

Anyways, she got upset and asked why she would have me pick out my lunch in advance. She got really upset and reiterated that I need to ask clarifying questions like she asked me to.

I've been asking a lot of questions trying to get an understanding for the role. I'm 2 weeks into the job and in a few weeks, she will be going on vacation for 2 whole weeks and will be leaving me to do my job and hers (she's an office manager).

She says she's nervous and needs me to ask more questions which ive been doing all day. But one simple misunderstanding and I feel like I'm back at square one.

I genuinely want to quit because this job is not at all what I expected. My title is administrative coordinator but I spend 6 to 7 hours a day stocking the fridges, pantries, bathrooms, cleaning the kitchens, conference room, and common areas, etc. It's a lot of physical work to the point where my legs ache. I'm barely ever on the computer at the desk, and when I am, she hints that I should be looking around to see what needs to be taken care of like deep cleaning the microwave.

On one hand, I'm frustrated about this being my career after working so hard in college but on the other hand, I want to stick things out to prove that I can do this.

For reference, the job says $25 an hour in seattle with no benefits (ongoing contract with no possibility of conversion according to the company).

Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance and sorry for the rant.

I started a job as an admin assistant at a corporate tech company. It's a contract and apparently the role is meant to forever be a contract.

Anyways, this is my first admin assistant job but I'm wondering if the expectations are normal for the role. I spend most of the day on my feet. Since the company offers lots of free perks like free lunch, snacks, drinks, hygiene products, etc. I spend hours, if not most of my day, on my feet making sure all pantry and fridges across 3 floors are fully stocked, cleaning the kitchens, making sure all men/women/unisex bathrooms are also fully stocked with hygiene products like toothbrushes, combs, mouthwash, chapstick, body lotion, etc.

Anyways, I was hired less than 3 weeks ago and my manager, the office manager, is going to Europe for 2 weeks in September. She's going to be leaving me to do both her and my job and today she told me she's nervous to leave me alone. I asked why and she said it's because ive said I'm going to do something and then I don't. I asked her if she could think of something I needed to do off the top of my head and she told me that I didn't wash the fruit bowl on her floor last night. This week after she left a few days ago, she had left pastries out on a dish for new hire breakfast on her floor. I decided to put away the pastries in to go containers and put the dish in the sink. She thanked me for doing that but told me I needed to wash the dish next time too. I assumed she meant the next time I wanted to help out, i didn't know it was my responsibility to clean up the kitchen on her floor too since she previously told me I'm only responsible for floors 5 and 7 while she takes care of the 6th floor.

I've been really exhausted both physically and mentally from this job. My legs ache and I am relatively healthy. But I'm expected to be on my feet pretty much all day. Of i ever have down time to check emails, my manager will tell me that if I feel that I've been sitting too long then I should be cleaning.

I'm kind of sad because I really thought I'd be learning a lot more since this is an admin position but really it just feels like all I do all day is stock kitchens and clean up after the employees.

Anyways, I'm just wondering if this is normal and also would like any advice on how to recover from this.

Edit: for reference i am in corporate headquarters in a mid sized city where we have about 600 employees. I am paid $25 an hour with no benefits since I'm working through an agency.

Thanks in advance.

I graduated in 2020 with two bachelors degrees. One in public relations and the other in web development. During college, I did a ton of internships. I was a campus correspondent, resident advisor, a columnist for the university newspaper, and also did a 1 and a half year marketing internship. After graduating, I got a high paying marketing job at a large tech company.

My younger brother unexpectedly passed shortly after graduating and I fell into a deep depression. I lost my high paying tech job (they never told me why but I always thought it was due to underperformance).

I became bed bound due to depression but still did freelance marketing roles here and there.

I ended up doing extensive therapy and went to work retail just to ease myself into work and get back on my feet. I kept trying to find full time work in marketing but struggled to get roles.

I worked in retail for over a year before moving to California. I felt like I needed a change of environment but also thought there might be more opportunities there.

Long story short, after retail I got a job as a front desk coordinator at a doctor's office. I faced workplace abuse and had to leave after a few months. I then ended up landing a roles as a claims processor at a pharmaceutical company but still struggled financially because it only paid $23 an hour in Southern California.

I worked in claims for a year before deciding to come back home for support. I recently got a contract role as an administrative coordinator at a tech company paying $25 an hour in Seattle. I'm grateful to have a job but I'm tired of being underemployed. The job doesn't require a bachelors, it's a lot of physical work (most of it is stocking kitchens and bathrooms).

I just don't know where to go from here. It's been years since I worked a job that required a bachelors. I've been trying to get any job, not just marketing, that requires a bachelors but have struggled time and time again. Any time I do interview, I either get told they went with someone with more experience or I get ghosted.

Any advice or guidance would be appreciated. I know I have a diverse background but the truth is I've had to take anything I can get to make ends meet.

Edit: I wanted to add that I would stay at this job but I was recently told this would forever be a contract position and there is no possibility for conversion. I also desperately need health insurance which I don't get since I'm a contractor.

Thanks in advance.

I graduated in 2020 with two bachelors degrees. One in public relations and the other in web development. During college, I did a ton of internships. I was a campus correspondent, resident advisor, a columnist for the university newspaper, and also did a 1 and a half year marketing internship. After graduating, I got a high paying marketing job at a large tech company.

My younger brother unexpectedly passed shortly after graduating and I fell into a deep depression. I lost my high paying tech job (they never told me why but I always thought it was due to underperformance).

I became bed bound due to depression but still did freelance marketing roles here and there.

I ended up doing extensive therapy and went to work retail just to ease myself into work and get back on my feet. I kept trying to find full time work in marketing but struggled to get roles.

I worked in retail for over a year before moving to California. I felt like I needed a change of environment but also thought there might be more opportunities there.

Long story short, after retail I got a job as a front desk coordinator at a doctor's office. I faced workplace abuse and had to leave after a few months. I then ended up landing a roles as a claims processor at a pharmaceutical company but still struggled financially because it only paid $23 an hour in Southern California.

I worked in claims for a year before deciding to come back home for support. I recently got a contract role as an administrative coordinator at a tech company paying $25 an hour in Seattle. I'm grateful to have a job but I'm tired of being underemployed. The job doesn't require a bachelors, it's a lot of physical work (most of it is stocking kitchens and bathrooms).

I just don't know where to go from here. It's been years since I worked a job that required a bachelors. I've been trying to get any job, not just marketing, that requires a bachelors but have struggled time and time again. Any time I do interview, I either get told they went with someone with more experience or I get ghosted.

Any advice or guidance would be appreciated. I know I have a diverse background but the truth is I've had to take anything I can get to make ends meet.

Edit: I wanted to add that I would stay at this job but I was recently told this would forever be a contract position and there is no possibility for conversion. I also desperately need health insurance which I don't get since I'm a contractor.

Thanks in advance.

I got into one abusive relationship after a 6 year one. I naively thought my next relationship would be different. It was during the pandemic. I had just come home to finish up my college classes remotely. I was working and went into a manic episode due to sleep deprivation. During this time, a man who I went to high school with reached out to me on Facebook and wouldn't stop asking me out. I reluctantly accepted but insisted on bringing a friend. He brought one too.

Long story short, he invited me to a party and encouraged me to do cocaine to calm my anxiety. It made my mania worse and I ended up coming onto his friend. His friend later locked me in a room, kissed me, and told me to give him my number. When the man I was dating confronted me on what happened while he was out of the room, I denied everything out of fear.

During this manic episode I became fixated on getting cocaine. When the man I was dating went on a trip, his friend reached out asking if I wanted cocaine. I said yes and met up with him but he suggested we meet somewhere private, a hotel. I went and he kept me there for the night despite my insistence on wanting to leave. He kept begging me for sexual favors and I gave in.

When the man I was dating came back from his trip, I told him what had happened while he was gone. We had only gone on 3 official dates and we not "official". But he insisted on knowing every detail of what happened at the hotel. I apologized but he insisted i come over to explain myself. I told him there was nothing else to explain, he either accepted my apology or didn't. He told me he should slap me for how I was talking to him. When I brought up his friend's part in all of this, he told me to go fuck myself, that I was nothing but a whore, that I was worthless, stupid, and a waste. I never saw him after that out of fear that he would hit me but those words stuck and led me to feel suicidal.

Years later, even though our "relationship" lasted less than 3 months, I'm still affected. I think about it daily.

Both of my abusers loved soccer and the world cup has been especially triggering for me. I keep wondering if he is happy? I'm still reeling from the events of his abuse. He left me deeply insecure as well. He was addicted to p*rn and would constantly criticize my appearance. He even went as far as to say that he was only dating me because we were in a lockdown to due the pandemic.

I feel so much guilt and shame. I know I'm not completely innocent despite being manic. I would have never done any of that otherwise. At one point, while on cocaine, I started hitting him for no reason. I completely blacked out.

I can't afford therapy but it's been years and I'm still in an endless loop. I constantly wonder if he's happier than me, if what everything he said about me was true.

I never disclosed my depression but at one point he said, "I know you have depression, but why are you like this? You're the most psychotic and deranged person I've ever met".

I guess I'm looking for any insight as to how to get through this endless loop. Thanks in advance. ​​​​

During the pandemic, I went through a manic episode from stress related to college and work. Around that time, a guy I knew from high school kept pushing me to date him. I felt uneasy from the beginning, which is why I insisted on bringing a friend whenever we hung out.

At a party, he encouraged me to do cocaine even though I had told him I’d previously been in outpatient treatment. While he was in the bathroom, his friend locked me in a room, kissed me unexpectedly, and pressured me into giving him my number. I felt scared and overwhelmed and didn’t tell anyone what happened.

Later, while the guy I was dating was out of town, his friend asked me to meet up. He suggested we go somewhere private and took me to a hotel. I kept saying I’d only stay a few hours, but I ended up there until the next morning.

Even though we weren’t exclusive, I later told the guy I was dating because I felt guilty. He demanded I come over and “explain myself.” When I said I had already apologized and that he either accepted it or didn’t, he became furious.

He told me he “should slap me” for the way I was talking. He called me stupid, worthless, a waste of time, and a whore. He said I was psychotic and deranged. Looking back, there were red flags from the beginning. He criticized my appearance early on and later admitted he was only dating me because of the lockdown.

Years later, I still carry shame about this period of my life. I struggle to understand what was my responsibility versus what was manipulation, coercion, or abuse. I think I minimized everything because there wasn’t severe physical violence, but the emotional impact stayed with me.

I’m mostly looking for perspective from people who’ve healed from abusive relationships or periods where they were mentally unwell. How did you stop blaming yourself and move forward?

During the pandemic, I went through a manic episode brought on by stress from college and work. Around that time, a guy I knew from high school kept pushing me to date him. I felt uncomfortable and unsafe from the start, which is why I insisted on bringing a friend whenever we hung out, and he brought one too.

At a party, he encouraged me to do cocaine even though I had previously told him I’d been in outpatient treatment. While he was in the bathroom, his friend locked me in a room, kissed me unexpectedly, and pressured me into giving him my number. When the guy I was seeing came back, I think he realized something had happened because the door was locked, but I denied it because I felt scared and overwhelmed.

Later, while he was away, his friend asked if I wanted to meet up and do cocaine again. I agreed, but once we met he insisted we go somewhere private and took me to a hotel. I repeatedly said I only planned to stay a few hours, but I ended up there until the next morning.

Even though we weren’t exclusive, I later told the guy I was dating because I felt guilty and wanted to be honest. I apologized, but he demanded I come over and “explain myself.” When I said I had already apologized and that he either accepted it or didn’t, he became furious.

He told me he “should slap me” for the way I was talking. He called me stupid, worthless, a waste of time and energy, and a whore. He also said I was the most psychotic and deranged person he had ever met. Looking back, there were red flags from the beginning. On our first date alone he criticized my appearance, and later admitted he was only dating me because of the lockdown.

What I’m struggling with now, years later, is understanding what actually happened to me and how to forgive myself. I carry a lot of shame about the choices I made during that time, especially because I was mentally unwell and using substances. Part of me still blames myself for overworking myself to the point that I went into a manic episode but it did lead me to finally getting diagnosed.

I guess I’m looking for perspective from people who’ve gone through something similar. How did you stop blaming yourself and start healing?