u/Suspicious-Noodle30

I cries *Cries*

I weeps *weeps*

I sobs *sobs*

because I cannot have you as my dog

HE Lives in THe MooNs. No seriously, there is this blocky caterpillar cloggin up my toilets at night. He only comes if I don't leave chicken bones out to appease him. I can predict that tonight he will come again, because I am all out of bones. I have learned that he does not like cheese, and in fact is highly offended by gouda in particular.

Call me crazy, but I think we have a mind-boggler on our hands, because he boggles mine.

Are there any methods, lethal or otherwise, by which I might be able to vanquish him?

When I'm conversing with people I often say things in the wrong tone or say it in a wrong way that comes off as weird or offensive when I don't mean to. Or sometimes when I'm trying to verbalize something I'll get tripped up on my words or unintentionally say the opposite of what I mean.

It's like I have to translate my thoughts from brain language into physical speech. When I think about what I want to say in my head, I have more of the idea of what I intend to say rather than the audible words sounding in my head and so the thought-to-speech conversion process that happens in my brain doesn't always get things right. When it does, it doesn't always come with the right tone either. Sometimes I will say something and it sounds very rude, or forced, or I'm aware that the tone is just very much not correct and I will think "Why did it come out like that??"

It's difficult because people sometimes get the wrong idea when I respond, thinking I am intentionally being rude. It's very hard to explain this, for the reason above.

Anyone else do this?

Mr Somble was a curly man. He twisted around everywhich way like a curly fry. In his hometome, they called him "Curly Man" and his children called him "Dad." He married a spatula and together they had curly spatula children except one of them ate some tacos and died because he was allergic. After the tragic death of his son, Mr Somble stumbled angrily into a Taco Bell and clogged all of their toilets. It was his way of coping. The Taco Bell exploded later that night because of people trying to flush all the toilets. There was human excrement and taco meat everywhere, at least we think that there was because no one could distinguish the two.

After that, Mr Somble went to prison for destruction of property. In prison he met guy named Fruit Wrinkler who tried to suffocate him. Meanwhile, Mr Somble's wife cheated on him while he was in prison with a sandwich seller. He specialized in cold cuts. When Mr. Somble found out about it, we was so angry, and so the clogged all of the prison's toilets. Later that day, the prison exploded and the convicts escaped. Mr SOmble made his way back to his house, where his other two children were. He kicked open the door and started yelling at the kids to get him some pepsi, but they wouldn't give it to him. He got upset and started smashing things and in the process his younger son, who was making tacos in the kitchen, confronted his deranged father in the living room. During their altercation, the youngest son attcked him with a kitchen knife. He stabbed in in his scapula 7 times. Mr SOmble fell to the ground and began bleeding to death.

It was only after the taco's were done that someone decided to call 911. When the paramedics arrived the youngest son was in shock over what happened and they took him inside the abulance. Mr Somble's daughter was catatonic from what happened, and so they put her in the ambulance too. They did not put Mr SOmble in the ambulance because he was dead.

In the end, the Curly Man's youngest son lost his mind over what he did and had to be constantly monitered. They buried Mr Somble in the desert with a curly headstone. His children never went to visit him. However, Fruit Wrinkler, who has been stalking Mr. Somble was later arrested again for murdering a kid. He poisoned his tacos.

Lesson of the story: don't freak out when some one hands you a lobster.

Please come back

It worked just fine on Friday. Today, however, when I click on the same bookmarked link I have saved, or even the link in the Trigun Maximum subreddit, it now displays a white screen and says "trigunoverhaul.com has expired and is parked free, courtesy of GoDaddy.com."

Is anyone else experience this when accessing the link?

I'm asexual. People talk about being attracted to other people in certain ways and I can't completely understand what they mean. They talk about how they need a partner who is sexually compatible. What does sexual attraction even feel like? Do men and women experience it differently?

If someone asks me "What did you do over the weekend?" I assume they want an actual answer. Why would I assume they are just trying to make conversation?

If someone needs something from me, why do they beat around the bush and try to ask me by not asking me? What is the sense in this? It confuses the hell out of me. If I need something, I will be direct. If I feel a certain way, I will express that. Why do others consider this behavior "abnormal" and even rude? It makes no sense the other way. Are other people just naturally better at picking up on subtext?

I'm being serious and I'm not trying to say "oh I'm so much more logical than everyone else." I genuinely don't get it and it frustrates me.

For example, I can't really pick up on subtext at all. If someone is talking to me, I have absolutely no idea what their motive is unless they are being overtly hostile or directly stating what their motive is. Being direct, to me, seems like the most efficient and concise way of communicating to avoid misunderstanding. It baffles me that other people will avoid being direct as a way of being "polite." In my opinion, I feel that it's not polite to not say what you mean. It's confusing and frustrating.

Anyone else?

For example, right now I feel like I'm in a cowboy mood. I am only really interested in listening to country/western music. Like I feel like I could move out west, buy myself a hat and some boots and become a gunslinger. Not just for show, but for life. Like that's who I feel like I am in my soul right now.

Sometimes though, I really feel like a Christian ascetic and suddenly I am getting very into religion and there is a newfound level of piety and I long to only listen to Gregorian chants and think about God and stuff and I will seriously consider dedicating myself to God to the point of wanting to join a monastery.

Then sometimes I feel like I'm supposed to be a scientist, particularly one who is highly involved in academia, and I feel like I want to dedicate my life to studying astrophysics and it becomes highly important that I do this.

These phases usually last anywhere from a week to a few months. It's like once I'm in one phase, interests and hobbies from another phase become temporarily uninteresting to me. The phases listed above are usually one's that I seem to cycle through against my will, but others do exist. Sometimes I will also have a grace period (which usually lasts about 4-10 days) in which I will not be particularly interested in anything and have no phases.

Does anyone else do this?

First off, I'm someone who is not very in tune with my emotions and I struggle to really explain and understand my inner experience.

This is how I feel: I have a female body, but being female is not necessarily something I consider to be a big part of who I am as a person. It's like having blue eyes. If I didn't have blue eyes nothing about my sense of self would change. I would still be me. The same goes (I think ??) for being female. I acknowledge that I am biologically female but this feels randomly assigned. I could have been born male and I feel like I would still be me. In fact, I feel as though I could have been born a dog and I'd still be me.

To me my internal, mental idea of my own gender doesn't feel inherently male or female. If anything, I just feel like "me," but even that is vague and hard for me to explain.

I am someone who doesn't really understand gender norms or stereotypes. Like why is it seen as masculine or feminine to like one thing or another? Why do people only tend to relate to and want friends of the same sex? What does it matter? This is something I have struggled to understand since I was a child.

I have no idea if I just lack self-awareness or if I'm overthinking it all or if my brain is different in yet another way. I should probably mention that I am also aro/ace and I may be neurodivergent as well.

I just don't understand what people mean exactly when they talk about all this gender stuff. Do people really feel gender on that deep of a level? Like internally? If you removed someone's external body would they still feel masculine or feminine or anything else? This is what doesn't really make sense to me.

One of my friends who I have known for five years trusts me with a lot of things, and I question why they do.

For example, they wanted me to house sit for them and gave me the keys to their house and completely trusted me to be in their house. In my head, I can't help but think "How can they trust me so easily? Are they secretly wondering if I will steal from them?" I wouldn't steal from them, but how do they know that?

This friend has been very good to me. They are older than me and we have a kind of student-mentor relationship. They seem genuinely fond of me. They have expressed to me how fond they are. They are always patient with me, they actually listen to me, they never get upset with me, and they regard me as a decent, respectable person. They even hugged me one time and told me that they are proud of me.

It scares me to think about it. I really can't understand how someone could actually like me like this. I keep telling myself that it's because they don't understand who I really am, and if they knew, they wouldn't like me. Or that it's just because they are simply that good of a person, to tolerate and show warmth towards anyone. It makes my brain hurt. It makes me feel confused when I try to understand what they see in me.

They have made me realize that I have low self-worth. How can I accept that people like me without doubting it or projecting my own insecurities onto them? How can I learn to really accept myself?

They cost like 7 dollars on wednesdays. But you're worth at least $8.50 man.

A peanut is actually a legume, not a nut. Yet it is regarded as a nut. In reality it is a bean. Subsequently, this makes peanut butter bean butter. Therefor, when I eat peanut butter on toast I am actually eating beans on toast.

When you realize everything is beans, and it will change your life. Peanut butter is beans. Hummus is also beans. My dog has beans, so he is not excluded either.

I am pretty sure, too, I am also a bean. There are probably beans in things you would never even imagine. In fact, reality is bean shaped, this I know because of the years I spent in solitude in the fjords of Nova Scotia contemplating The Material Essence. Amidst this mind space I was able to envision reality itself from outside of it and it is indeed bean shaped.

Like the Universe.

I put a pinto bean on the counter, then flipped it sideways. Guess what? still a bean.

I put a kidney bean on the stove, then flipped it sideways. Guess what? Still a bean.

I put a green bean on the sofa, then flipped it longways. Guess what? Still a bean.

I put a jelly bean on the table, then flipped it inside out. Guess what? Still a bean.

I put a Mister Bean on the counter, then flipped it forwards. Guess what? Still a bean.

I put a Lima bean on the cat's head, then flipped it backwards. Guess what? Still a bean.

Either way you put it, you got a bean, bro.

First off, I am a woman. But, I have never understood why other girls/women wear makeup. I never got into it when I was young, though I have been forced to wear it a few times and I hate the way it feels.

What is the purpose? Is it an aesthetic thing? Why is it so popular? Subsequently, why is not wearing makeup sometimes considered taboo? Please explain.

I was talking to this woman who was telling me about herself and how odd her and her family are. I told her how when I was younger I was a very strange child and I used to have obsessions and really bad social skills but I learned how to interact better since then.

She then told me "well, when I first saw you I instantly knew you were a bit of an odd one."

I am an assistant karate instructor for adults and children. There is this kid who started doing karate about 6 months ago, I'll call him Blake (fake name).

Blake is about 10 years old and not officially diagnosed with autism/ADHD. However, when he first started he would get overwhelmed every lesson and cry. He struggles to focus, he bounces and spins around a lot, and he always throws himself on the ground and is often disruptive in other ways. He also get's overwhelmed by noise occasionally and now has to wear earplugs.

I talked to his mother and she said she hasn't gotten him evaluated, but she has ADHD and it's likely he has it too. Either way, I can tell that Blake requires a different kind of teaching style than the other children, and being someone who also had anxiety and sensory sensitivities as a child (that's a story for another post), I understand how overwhelmed Blake must feel and I want to try and help him learn as best as I can. I try to be very patient with him and I try to monitor if he's getting overwhelmed or not. I also try to speak to him gently, or explain complicated things in a different way as to not make him anxious.

However, some of Blake's behaviors I feel unequipped to deal with. For example, he will throw himself on the ground all the time. We will tell him to stand with his knees slightly bent, and he'll do it for a couple seconds and then just throw himself on the ground.

During the last class, the sensei noticed that he kept throwing himself on the ground, so she pulled him off to the side and politely told him to just stand there. He said "Why?!?" in a really rude way. Sensei walked away to help other students, and Blake started comlaining and then he looked at me and threw his hands up. Now this is where my question comes up. I acknowledge that Blake could possibly be autistic, but any other person is not allow to speak to sensei like that. I came over to him and said sternly "When sensei tells you to do something, you don't ask why, you just do it." I admit, I was frustrated at him from earlier, when I told him to do something and he did the same. I try to stay calm because I understand that he's probably only talking like this because he's a little overwhelmed, and I don't want to take my frustration out on him. However, I would have said it the same way to any other student. I feel like it isn't too much to ask him to just stand there. But, my question is: is this being too harsh? If Blake is autistic and really isn't trying to be rude, then did I treat him unfairly? I know that the way he is acting is really disrespectful, but I also understand that he could be being like that because he's anxious.

I don't know if it's right to just let him get away with it, or if it's right to correct him.