u/TacticalPeanutButtr

1600 sqft house located in Midwest. Not extreme winters with tons of snow, but it does get decently cold. It’s one level with a cold weather heat pump AC unit.

Hi all,

I am writing this post because I am at my breaking point and I’m certain she is at hers as well. I (24M) am in an almost 3 year relationship with my girlfriend (24F). She has undiagnosed OCD that she has told me about after hiding it from me and then noticing it. We were long distance then moved in together for a new job I took (military). I was not aware of how bad it was before, but now it is unmanageable and taking a serious toll on our relationship.

As days go by I am finding out more OCD compulsions that she has. For example, I packed her lunch one day but the number of cookies in the snack bag wasn’t even. This number thing carries to other areas such as temps, volumes in cars, etc.
She has to place something down in a particular place and if it moves or she doesn’t place it down an even amount of times, she believes something bad will happen.

I constantly need to reassure or promise her that things are fine or that a certain outcome will occur. Whenever we get into a slight argument it boils over and usually the root of it is reassurance. It makes me really upset because I don’t understand what I am doing wrong. Our arguments usually end in her having a nervous breakdown or panic attack. She regularly looks through my phone and checks my location. She has gotten better with going through my phone but she checks my followers, searched my texts for her name (in the past), and freaks out if I have a female coworker text me. I have to give constant updates when I’m out with friends, who I’m going out with, who is there, etc.
We went to relationship counseling 8 months ago. She thought it didn’t help and was reluctant to go in the first place. She has some toxic communication habits as well. I really love her because we have been in a relationship for 3 years and friends for 5 years or more prior. I don’t want things to end but I don’t know if I can take it anymore.

Some other issues I had with her have made me want to do less for her. I do the majority of cooking and cleaning around our apartment. We had bad landlords and I moved for her to be closer to work and not be interrupted by our bad landlords sleeping during the day. I paid close to all of moving costs and she was hesitant to give me a small amount ($100) and did all of the moving with my mom and myself (granted she had work overnight). But when I asked for money towards moving costs she just said everything was my stuff and that I was being cheap lately with dates etc. I honestly have been holding back on doing nice things because I feel like I am being taken for granted and what I do is not appreciated. Like I don’t get what I put in back from her.

How do I move forward? How can I address these boundary and communication issues with her when previous counseling didn't work? I’m just at the point where I am frustrated and angry all the time and don’t have anything left in me. I am not a perfect boyfriend and lately it’s been rough and I feel like now the way I communicate with her due to being upset all the time is also contributing the downfall of our relationship.

Hey guys,

I’ve noticed my parents (both 63 y/o)are signing up frequently for credit cards like American eagle, TJX, American Airlines, Sam’s Club, etc that all have yearly fees and don’t maximize the amount of cash back they could be getting.

It can be as simple as someone offering it to them at a cash register and they think it’s a good idea to save “x” percent or dollars off their purchase in exchange for a credit card. I’ve tried telling them it’s not a good idea and offering alternatives but I’m not sure what else I can say. Has anyone had to deal with this before?

I just don’t want them opening up so many cards that they forget about one or their account is breached in a password leak. I’m also worried about their credit as they look into retiring soon despite them being high income. Would it affect their credit if it is good?

Thank you!

Hey all,

I’ve had a permanent profile for shaving for the last 5 years ever since I got in. I’m a national guard pilot and with this new directive out I’m left between two choices: getting it laser removed or getting kicked out.

I thought getting laser treatment would thin the hair out enough for me to shave comfortably but they’re telling me that it gets rid of it permanently and may not be a full proof treatment and I may still get ingrown hairs. The doctor also told me it’s a life-changing treatment and that they wouldn’t do it at such a young age on your face.

What do I do? Has anyone gotten past this without getting their beards removed?

On top of this I’m having to pay the consult fees and everything because “TRICARE doesn’t pay us our additional fees” and it’s the only place in the area where the treatment itself can be covered by tricare.

I’ll take a Diet Coke

Looking for something I can use day and night so I can apply my sunscreen on top of it. I have sensitive combination skin as well. Thanks!