u/Technical-Repeat-391

I'm seeing few takes - one, what did Hamna do to deserve Zamil and two that Abu Bakr had a double standard for Zaryab because he is attracted to her looks/appearance where he wasn't attracted to Hamna's. I personally don't feel that is the premise in the drama and may be people reading too much into the story, here are my thoughts

1. It's not about Hamna being inherently bad to deserve Zamil - there are plenty of women who get into toxic marriages and the blame shouldn't be on a woman for the toxic traits of a man. Imo, their relationship is commentary about how men, who themselves, were complicit in sins suddenly believe they deserve a pure/naive girl after turning around. And for a lot of men, that is either a girl who is younger/lower class, which Hamna is. I think UA is doing a decent job picking up online incel trends because "girl back home from the village" is a very common theme I've seen from men who want a girl who they think will be "more agreeable" in that way.

I think there's another subtle commentary that just because girls are from such a status, doesn't mean they also never desired other men in the past, which is the case for Hamna. I don't think that is mean to vilify her, but just show that status doesn't necessarily mean a girl is as stupid as she's perceived to be.

2. Double standard for Hamna vs Zaryab - I feel like Zaryab and Hamna's encounter with Abu Bakr aren't comparable. Hamna is much younger and in matric from what we know and honestly that's enough of a reason for him to not look at her the same way. Moreover, she made a mistake with a boy her age and Abu Bakr intervened so that she could have a second chance and focus on finishing her studies. Instead, she ended up stalking him, which lead to questioning his mom's reputation in the neighborhood and a risk of her own safety. I think his frustration was justified.

Now of course, that begs the question why is he tolerating Zaryab - technically both he and Zaryab consented to this relationship* (not the case for Hamna) - I add an asterisk because of course it's not from a genuine place - Zaryab herself asked to marry Abu Bakr as a consolation for Zamil's words that no practicing Muslim would ever marry her. Abu Bakr himself consented mainly because of the weight of Kishwer and Khushbakth's relationship. We don't know yet what ahsan she did that was so great that Khushbakth is prepared to do anything, but having their families be linked that way is a big differentiator between Zaryab and Hamna's stories.

I personally do not think it has anything to do with looks, I feel that's more of an audience perception. I think both Zaryab and Hamna are pretty in their own way.

That being said, I do think that the drama should give a chance to explore what privileges Zaryab has versus Hamna because of class - it seems Hamna's desperation for a man comes from the easiest escape from her home situation. Even though I can understand Abu Bakr's frustration that she chose to continue to chase men rather than focus on school, maybe it's because finding a good man would be a much more realistic way for her to escape a possibly abusive home situation than securing an education and financial independence, especially as a lower class person where the stakes are much harder. Very different from Zaryab who has access to world class education and higher chance to not need to be dependent on a man, so I feel like Hamna shouldn't be vilified, rather be seen with empathy as her circumstances likely play a large part in her behavior.

Previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC_Coops/s/nWY8Z7xHPD

tl;dr - I made an offer on a 2 bed/2 bath unit on a unit that wasn't occupied - apparently, the seller themselves were in an assisted living facility and the deal (from my knowledge) was being managed by the kids. there were damages from previous leaks in both bathrooms and the surrounding hallway and one active dampness measured in one bathroom. Furthermore, water was turned off in one bathroom with signs of dripping from faucet. After the seller's attorney rejected our specific repairs or credit requests, I asked this sub and after a lot of introspection, reflection and reading the responses you all shared, I decided to walk away.

for a longer version - few things that stood out as red flags

1. inconsistencies from seller's agent/seller - we were told the seller doesn't occupy unit but somehow whoever manages the unit (kids? idk) happened to bump into the board president around the time I made my offer and opted for an inspection and told the board president about the issues in the apartment, to which the board president responded very favorably about fixing everything before moving in. at the same time the board president said the unit was priced too low and the seller agreed to give me the amount we negotiated ($15K less than asking) as credit

2. was told the leak originated from 2 floors above a year ago but management indicated the leak occured several floors above

3. the biggest red flag was the seller's attorney rejection to what we wrote in the rider about repairs. All they said is the co-op will do repairs and it will be painted over with paint. They sent pictures where it was clear they didn't repair anything and just painted over the damage

I tried to probe about open tickets or some proof management is aware of the specific issues, but the seller's attorney refused to give us further details. Management did respond to the units above that had leaks (one of the units mentioned was 7 floors above this unit) but they also mentioned they didn't know about the issues in this unit b/c it was unoccupied. After too many unknown variables, it felt uncomfortable and I walked away.

I am interested in a co-op unit that's been on the market for a while now - the building seems to be overall good/well-maintained, the unit is in average condition but seems fine for the price-point. It will need cosmetic renovations but more importantly, there are signs of an existing leak in the bathroom and surrounding area - this includes significant bubbles under the paint, a part of the ceiling that looks like it's caving in - we were told it came from few units above but has since stopped. The seller accepted a halfway point offer and ensured that they will make sure everything is repaired before moving in. I got an inspection done for my peace of mind as this is my first time buying and the inspector said that there is some damp areas so there could be an active leak. I discussed with my agent and she said we will put into the contract the exact fixes that should be addressed before move-in

Apparently, around the time I was working with my attorney, the seller "bumped into" the board president who they told about the repairs and the board president mentioned they are aware of everything and will inspect for mold, leaks and fix the repairs. The board president also became aware of the offer price and said the offer for this unit is too low so the seller agreed that because we had accepted at a specific offer, they'd give me a portion as credit. This was all told to me verbally by my agent who was told this from seller's agent.

Now as we are drafting the contract, the seller's attorney has rejected everything we wrote in what needs to be repaired as "the co-op will take care of repairs and they will paint over it". That's all they wrote - we had an itemized list, they did not respond what exactly they're addressing or how.

Additional to that section of the contract, we added that we expect a credit as well. So I'm waiting to hear back from my attorney if this rejection includes the credit. In that case, I will probably back out but I'm already feeling uncomfortable by them rejecting my initial asks - on one hand, I get they don't want to be held responsible if the co-op is handling it, but we had asked for specific things and they're not telling us what is going to be repaired.

There’s a co-op unit that I like that I feel like i would like to make an offer on. Only concern is that near bathroom there is sign of water damage - portion of wall has paint peeling & looks like sagging & then another portion of the wall has bubbles in the paint. I told me RE agent and she said in co-op, rules would not allow for an active leak. However, do co-ops manage leaks that look like they could happen? Likely cause is from unit above.

I have been on muslim marriage and now some new muslim subs like muslim matrimonial and muslim nikah - all of them have been really depressing. The conversations recently have ranged from "women should be okay with polygamy" to "most women who have PhDs these days are just doing meme degrees".

This isn't really new, but I feel like a lot of men are becoming less ambitious and are projecting their insecurities through pseudointellectual conversations on women who are ambitious. I will say one thing that I have noticed a small trend of women who seem to be not yet be financially independent (with some who don't seem too interested in becoming so) but who have unrealistic desires of "marrying rich" without realization that money doesn't go as far as it did in the past.

In those situations, I can to an extent empathize with guys who complain that some of the demands of potentials are starting to feel unrealistic but at the same time these subs are inundated with such frivolous, immature arguments it feels like a needle in a haystack situation to find a person with bare minimum emotional maturity in the already niche/small pool of Muslim potentials have here in the West.

I had a leak in my ceiling some time back that culminated to a ceiling collapse in my room that I am thinking of filing a small claims for. I first noticed the leak in February and the ceiling collapsed in October of 2023. When I notified my landlord, he went to the roof of the apartment to fix it himself. The leak did stop, but I have no idea what he did to fix the leak - I noticed he frequently would do things himself before calling a professional when he himself is not a licensed professional in that area. Additionally, I was on a month-to-month lease and when I mentioned I will move out end of the month, he double rented my apartment without informing me to a new tenant before I moved all my things out.

The actual damage was to my mattress, pillows, a rug, amounting to around $100-$200, which I could not use my rental insurance for b/c laim had to be $500+. He also did not reimburse me for the night I couldn't sleep b/c of ceiling all over my room and the double rented apartment, claiming "what's the big deal, I gave you your security deposit back"

When doing my research on Google, admittedly through Gemini (Google's AI tool), there was something I didn't think of and while I am weary/skeptical of AI answers, the answer derived from cases that related to my own case - New York Consolidated Laws, Real Property Law - RPP § 235-b. Warranty of habitability, there were cases were tenants received 10-20% abatement for water leak damage - 1. Espy v. Miller, 2. 401 Hotel L.P. v. Mzei 3. Minjak Co. v. Randolph. I wanted to consult an actual lawyer to ask about this and consulted resources, such as NYC Bar Legal Referral service and have not yet gotten an answer. I want to file my claim soon and am looking for insight about the follows:

1. Can I ask for rent abatement from February to October with the claim my landlord did a DIY job that didn't adequately fix the leak issue? Is there anything strong enough in my oral testimony (with pictures and text messages included) in which I could actually use this claim
2. The day I notified my landlord and mentioned I can't stay in my room, he said somebody will come and fix it and I can move-in ASAP. The ceiling was patched up, however, few days later, there was still an ongoing leak from minor rain and according to him "that's normal". The repairman had to come in again too to patch up the paint, leading to paint on some of my personal belongings. This was about 1-week after the initial ceiling collapse. Could I claim that the apartment was still not habitable for 7 days or is the only claim worth making the one night/day where the person came to patch up the ceiling? I also asked him if he changed the insulation b/c there were signs of mold and I have asthma, but he didn't give me a clear answer. He just said "it's all good"

I checked that I am eligible to file a small claims until end of September 2026 - some time back, I came home to a ceiling collapse in my apartment after we had a storm. I lived in a walk-up apartment in Queens on the topmost floor with my landlord living a floor below me. A few months prior to that, there was a leak in my room and I informed my landlord. To his credit, he did come to check it within a reasonable timeframe and gave me a container to collect water. The thing I had felt was that he seemed to cut corners and do DIY rather than contact a professional to fix things in the home - he himself went up to the roof to do something, I have no idea what he did. It did solve the problem transiently and so I didn't think much about it.

However, I did notice there was yellow stains in the walls and kept an eye on it. That weekend of the storm, I went to stay with family and came home few days later to a significant portion of my ceiling collapsed, just my bedroom, with pieces on my bed, the floor and what have you with a damp smell. My stuff was damp. There was brown/black in the insulation on the roof. It was midnight and I informed him immediately, but went to stay with my aunt a few mins away for the night. He told me he will wash my sheets (they did not smell washed/clean when he returned them to me) and will call somebody to immediately fix the ceiling. After calling somebody, he told me I can come back just few hours later.

I asked him if he replaced the insulation b/c it was moldy and he said "all good" in an ambigious way. He said the guy will still need to come to patch things up, so technically the room wasn't ready but I figured I would stay and see how it is. Few days later, there was light rain and there was still water dripping from the ceiling. According to him "that is normal". When the guy came to patch things up, there was paint that fell on my stuff - foldable chair covers all had white stuff, things that were under my bed full of paint scraps (I have pictures of this). I was on a month-to-month lease and told him I plan to leave as I'm not feeling comfortable here and he made a bit of an issue b/c he needs 30 days advance but said he will "make an exception" in this case. He knew I was in the process of wrapping things and I guess he figured I was going in/out of the apartment to stay with family. I told him I will come and give him the keys 2 days before my lease is up.

That day when I came to retrieve the rest of my belongings, I walked into my room and it was FURNISHED with somebody else's stuff. I was horrified and closed the door immediately. I went to the living room (I was living in a shared apartment with 2 other roommates) and noticed all my things were there. I was not ready to move out like that b/c I wanted to do a final check before leaving - I messaged him that it was wrong to move my things without telling me and I want money back for the tenant double-renting while I was there. He said "what's the big deal, you weren't there and she wanted to come early. I gave you your security deposit back". At the time, I called 311 and all kinds of housing hotlines who didn't get back to me and asked relatives in the legal profession and was not sure if my case was strong/worth pursuing. I decided not to take legal action though it nagged me for a bit. Zohran was my assemblymember a the time and I almost contacted him but figured he wouldn't be able to do much since I had already contacted 311.

With him as mayor focusing on bad landlords, I felt empowered to finally file a claims. I did my research and will have to file within the next few weeks as end of September, it might be too long of time lapsed to pursue my case. I'm just feeling nervous because I really don't want to face my old landlord and have gone back/forth about it a lot. I figured to just do it now, but want some insight from others. I thought I wouldn't be owed much but after doing research, I saw that I could be owed $2000 for the case. I tried to contact NYC Bar Legal Referral service but nobody got back to me.

Hey all,
I’ve been searching for an apartment in my city, it’s been an overwhelming process ngl. I live in a city where co-ops are common over condos, at first I completely scratched co-ops off my list but because condos were so limited and some were actually in not the best shape but still expensive. I’ve now started looking at co-ops and identified a building I really liked - location is good and residents have positive things to say about it. Very clean, feels safe. I found out just few months ago there was a unit that sold felt perfect to me - on the 10th floor which had a nice city view and is further from the ground where there is more traffic noise, liked the kitchen layout, nothing seemed to need renovation, the exact bed/bath I was looking for. And before that was a unit on 12th floor with similar floor plan that also sold which was cheaper (could have used renovations), but still had a nice city view.

Felt little bummed but I have three options - there’s a unit I saw on the 6th floor with a partial city view, the owner did some renovations, there’s an open concept kitchen with less cabinet space. The 10th floor apartment I really liked had an island with cabinets underneath. So that would mean renovation to add an island. The apartment is pretty much same cost as 10th floor apartment, only saving is being on a lower floor, monthly maintenance is slightly lower.

Then there’s a 5th floor apartment with similar partial city view - it has a closed kitchen with more cabinet space that I like, only thing I wished was that there was a pass through so it’s not totally closed off - to add a pass through would require renovation. Also would probably want to add few upgrades as it gives a less modernized look but otherwise a ready to move in apartment with just cosmetic “nice to have changes” needed. It’s 90K less than the 6th floor apartment and 55K less than how much the 10th floor apartment sold for.

My options would be as follows:

1. 5th floor apartment, save $90K but may want to renovate down the line, I save on monthly maintenance by $30-$50 or so every month being on a lower floor.
2. 6th floor apartment, slightly more renovated but $90K more as a result
3. Wait out for a higher floor apartment - since floor 10, 11 and 12 recently sold that leave me with 4 specific units on either 9,13,14,15 floors to come on sale with no certainty there would be such availability any time soon.

I’m leaning towards option 1 and coping with fact that “less perfect” but still good apartment means I can save more money and renovate to come out to still less than cost of either apartment. I think I’d end up being happy in the building/location, but just wanted to hear from you all about choosing a home that was almost but not exactly everything you wanted.

Hi all,
I’m looking to buy an apartment in Rego Park/Forest Hills area. Saw an apartment that is top on my list near Rego Center but parking garage has a waitlist. I was wondering how long it takes to get a car when on a waitlist for some co-ops. I’ve seen some places where people can’t get off the waitlist for years. I have a car 3 hours away out of state and would like to keep it closer to me.

I’m a T1D of 30 years - usually don’t get frequent hypoglycaemic episodes but unfortunately lately I’ve been very inconsistent with my eating/sleeping schedule. By 5PM today, all I had was a Greek yogurt and some dried fruits.

I had a work meeting around 5:00 PM with my intern and I felt like in the middle of explaining something, I lost the ability to explain what I was trying to say. It felt like I was in some dreamlike state where everything felt slightly fuzzy. I don’t know what I sounded like but im afraid I came off as slightly drunk or impaired. I got up and ate a little bit of something and apologised to my intern if I didn’t explain whatever I was trying to explain well as I hadn’t really eaten. My blood sugar was 80-90 but I saw I was in 50-60 for an hour or two.. I feel kind of embarrassed and was wondering if others went through similar situations.

Hey all,

Wondering if there are any places having outdoor watch parties for Mexico/Ecuador today? I can go see the game in BK but thought staying close to Queens (I live in Elmhurst) might be more fun for today's game

Hey all,

I've been on the insulin pump for a while now and have been a long time user of TruSteel infusion sets - I went off the insulin pump for some time because of plastic catheters kinking frequently sending my blood sugars above 500+ a few times. This was over a decade ago. I've learned about the TruSteel backorder and while I have ordered plastic catheters for now (VariSoft), I'm very anxious as I haven't used plastic catheters for a while and had mixed results. I'm wondering if anybody has experience with this - I honestly am thinking about discussing the "unthetered approach" with my endo where I can use lantus in hybrid because I still have PTSD from when I ate a decent carb meal and having my pump block sending my sugar through the roof. Wondering if anybody has experience with something similar and can discuss.