A song I'm finally happy with titled "Never Care"

It's had many drafts and started off as just a verse, but here's the finished thing for you guys!! Looking for constructive feedback

[Verse 1]

Last night was the first time

You said nothing back, should I be worried?

Is this the very first sign?

You're so, down bad for me

Is that why you are out drinking at parties?

And probably about to leave

[Chorus]

Maybe it's a joy ache

That rush, it's sinking away

I stare at the ceiling in mental irrepair

Knowing you will never really care

Maybe it's a glitter bruise

That will never see us through

I draw hearts round your silhouette

Knowing you will never care

[Verse 2]

Last night was the first time

You were drunk on voicemail, sober thoughts spilling out

Another goddamn sign?

You tell me, you're so in love

Yet when I need you most, I'm always shut down

To people please, am I not enough?

[Chorus]

Maybe it's a joy ache

That rush, it's sinking away

I stare at the ceiling in mental irrepair

Knowing you will never really care

Maybe it's a glitter bruise

That will never see us through

I draw hearts round your silhouette

Knowing damn well you will never care

You will never care

[Outro]

Cynical, hearts out of synch

Whimsical, our love was for the bit

If keeping you means crying over nothing (oh)

Then I must let it slip out my hands (but it's hard)

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u/Terrible_Judge_7504 — 11 hours ago

A song I've written titled "Love Me Right"!! Feedback would be appreciated :)

[Verse 1]

I'm so glad to be here with you

This newfound love is a virtue

Those eyes I wish to know

Is this the end of being alone?

[Chorus]

Cus I'm tryna sleep, but you intrude

And I stay up all night, thinkin' of you

Map our future on my ceiling

You're the only one I'm feeling

Name the stars after your beautiful face

Your name on the fabric of my shoe lace

Map our future on my ceiling

You're the only one I'm feeling

[Verse 2]

Something's changed today

You got closer at break

Promise me one thing, even if silently

That by the time we're 23, we'll be married

[Repeat Chorus]

-- Instrumental --

[Bridge]

Deep brown hair, reflecting in the sun

The threads of our lives are coming undone

Kiss me and I'll never be the damn same

Are you deep in too? Am I going insane?

Can't form coherent words when you are near

You dim and ignite my biggest fears

Love me right, and I will hand you my heart

Love me right, and I will swear my part

[Repeat Chorus]

[Outro]

Love me right, and I will hand you my heart

Love me right, and I will swear my part

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u/Terrible_Judge_7504 — 20 days ago

A free "girl so in love" phone background for y'all!

It took me a bit to make as the photos weren't going where I wanted to and I crashed out but I've done it now!

u/Terrible_Judge_7504 — 1 month ago

A song I've made titled "Foresee", I'd really like some feedback please!!

Foresee

[Verse 1]

Could you make it clear

If you wanna talk or not

It's a paralysing fear

Just sat in distant thoughts

I'd beg for just a 'sorry'

If it meant you meant something

Phone lines are turning rusty

As I sink into nothing

[Chorus]

My friends say I'm crazy when I foresee intentions

I stay numb and silent as I long his attention

Love is a fragile game that I tiptoe around

Until I met him, and that's why I'd plead now

[Post-Chorus]

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

[Verse 2]

I am the moth to your flame

That you forgot to burn out

I am the space between your name

Just a faded initial now

You anchored me, I'm still grounded

In the deepest waters of blue

The embers died down, but what you founded

Was all I had that seemed true

[Chorus]

My friends say I'm crazy when I foresee intentions

I stay numb and silent as I long his attention

Love is a fragile game that I tiptoe around

Until I met him, and that's why I'd plead now

[Post-Chorus]

Ooh, ooh, ooh

[Bridge]

I'd plead for just a 'hi' each morning

Is it all that much?

Even one in-hindsight warning

It would've saved so much

Tears fall in the shape of you

Merged into dust, who ever knew

That love could be this strong

It's why I'm struggling to say 'so long'

[Chorus]

Friends say I'm crazy when I foresee intentions

I stay numb and silent as I long his attention

Love is a fragile game that I tiptoe around

Until I met him, and that's why I'd plead now

[Outro]

(Ooh) That's why I'd plead now

(Ooh) That's why I'd plead now

Ooh, ooh, ooh

That's why I'd plead now

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u/Terrible_Judge_7504 — 2 months ago

This is a song called "Glass Box" that I've made!

I was contemplating whether or not to share this with the community or not since it's so personal, but I have anyway so I hope y'all like it

Edit: the line "The ghosts of my past are standing right there" I've changed to "The ghosts of my past are standing with a glare"

u/Terrible_Judge_7504 — 2 months ago

It's very emotional but oh well:

[Verse 1]

A bombshell love is all it can take

To fail somethin' that could be fate

Deep brown eyes, cold as ice

I glimpse them, gives me a fright

Wedding ring found, brushed on fingers

'Til we swerved astray, turned distant

Sun rays for a day, but now sunburnt

Just two figures trained to live and learn

[Chorus]

I don't know why we have to live like this

You always knew, yet still went and forced it

Took an axe to a fence, fell on the way there

I hoped I would find you stood in summer air

But I don't know why we have to live like this

[Verse 2]

I was in denial for over 12 months

Over this mess of what we call love

We slept on sofas of stormy mornings

'Til you up and left without a warning

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge]

My anger your crown, your touch a drugged high

Sent shivers through me on that midnight

We danced around it 'til we broke through

One talk, just a word, you feeling it too?

Fragile as embers, sparks set awry

Either way, one is left high and dry

My friends frown upon you, well just know I'm not

As I stand outside your cold glass box

[Outro]

I called you last night, no pick up

I wonder if this was ever love

Hate to admit the harsh truth

The question we've had since our youth

As I stand outside your glass box

Our glass box

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u/Terrible_Judge_7504 — 2 months ago

Ignore the random comb in the bottom, but I decided to draw onto the shelf and add some stickers to make it better, what do y'all think? 🩷

u/Terrible_Judge_7504 — 2 months ago