u/The_Laniakean

Actually spending $7500 dollars that I don't have to get my severe lazy eye corrected. I fully expect my dating life to do a complete 180 after I get home. I clearly have some social skill and mental health issues I will need to work on as well, but at least ill start getting one real Tinder match a week and then from there, everything is fully in my control. Wait time in Canada is in 6-18 months from now, and I'm just not waiting that long. It will be hard to accept the fact that the only reason I have been struggling so much to date is because of my delayed decision to get my eye fixed. Sure I may have other issues, but as far as dating goes, everything means nothing if I can't stop being ugly.

Every conversation I have with them I start off saying "When it comes to dating, all other forms of development are currently useless until I fix my appearance through surgery (happening soon!), it is incredibly frustrating to know the only reason I have been unable to get into a relationship is due to my appearance".

Then they will say things like "besides your lazy eye you are fine" like yes I already know that, thank you for confirming that my life trajectory would have been completely different if I had gotten it fixed earlier.

Or they will say "your personality is terrible right now, all you do is wallow in self-pity and push people away, even if you looked good you would still not have things much easier due to your personality". Two things:

1. thats not even true, I know my Tinder likes will skyrocket, and then its just trial and error from there as I perfect my personality.

2. You have not disproven my point that UNTIL I get surgery, personal development is useless when it comes to dating. Yes I know you need both a good appearance and good personality, which is why I am devastated. You are not disproving my point that we are working with a min(x,y) function and that it does not matter how good my personality y is if my appearance x is sitll low.

Im just not sure. I have no problem getting non-romantic attention from people. I was never one of the "cool kids", but I can always find my people. How much does looks normally impact platonic friendships?

There is nothing that can or should be done about this. They cannot help who they are attracted to. If women truly are happier single than dating a man who is outside the top 5%, nothing should be done to encourage them to stop. I seriously do not know what to say. All conversations about dating with women end in them not wanting to date majority of men. There is also nothing wrong with men discussing this fact, as we are just trying to navigate this dating world. Maybe it is all men's fault, are 95% of men really that bad?

Also the answer is usually "just because they are having sex doesnt mean they arent lonely, women need real connection" so women cant form a real connection with 95% of men?

Also while we are here, is it misogynist to merely acknowledge the fact that women are all dating the same top 5-10% of men? Its just the way it is, I believe it is only misogynist if we try to tell them to change their mind

We met at university. I am graduating soon but we both follow each other on instagram. I want to send her one of those "this is your sign to send this to a Chinese Fine Xi today (because she is one and I have been learning Mandarin). If she says no im probably not going to see her again anyway, but if she says yes then we can agree to meet somewhere as we are both still in the same city.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZDE4LYoIB-/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

If these men said "yes, I would be fine on a planet without women", some of these feminists would be like "See? Men dont actually like women". Men cant even express the fact that they are heterosexual without getting flamed.

I am a feminist, so can another feminist please tell me what the correct answer to this question is?

This is the end. I will be doing hard labour for life, either in the trades or military because I failed to gain work experience during university. Why did so many of us men go into fields that aren't hiring?​

Im not even trying to criticise anyone, I just want to know where average men stand in today's world. I also believe it is mental abuse to tell a man his personality is the problem, when in reality it is his appearance or status.

75% of women do not want to date men below 6'. Like 15% of the male population is 6'. It is mental abuse to tell a man his personality is the issue, when in reality it is because women are repulsed by average looking men. I do not think anything should be done about this, as women should feel free to have their preferences. But male victims of hypergamy deserve to know the truht.

That is it. Every man's number one complaint is his lack of attention from women. Men need to be taught how to up their game. Women do not like most men. It is up to us to fix this.

If a man is treated like a loser by all women he meets in the USA, but is able to head over to wherever and quickly find a woman who loves him, who is anyone else to judge him? Of course it is true that a lot of women from those countries are only interested in his money, so it is up to him to make sure the one he found truly loves him for him. But if she does love him for him, what is the problem?

When people say "the male loneliness epidemic is self-inflicted" or "inceldom is only a mindset" or anything like that, are they talking to everyone? Or are they only talking to average-looking people or above? Clearly there must be a certain point at which it is not your fault you cannot find a partner.

When people say "the male loneliness epidemic is self-inflicted" or "inceldom is only a mindset" or anything like that, are they talking to everyone? Or are they only talking to average-looking people or above?

That advice is meant for people who look only a little below average. If you are 4/10 or above then yes, your personality is probably always going to me more significant than your apperance. Anything 3/10 or below, though, and dating will be hard for you unless you are top 1% in everything else. I didnt get surgery to fix my lazy eye until 22 because I believed these people when they said my personality would always be more important. These people ruined my dating life up until now.