u/Thin-Leek5402

Today I asked my crush if she would like to get coffee sometime. She said that her situation is complicated (she's been on a few dates with someone and isn't sure where it's going, and is also not sure if she's in a place to be dating). She knows my situation is also pretty complicated (I'm still on a lease with my ex until 8/31/2026, and am living in different rooms of the same apartment). However, she said that she would still like to get coffee together to be moral support to each other and talk things out. I told her that I would love to get "platonic moral support coffee" together. I said platonic just to play it safe, but maybe that was a mistake. Anyway, I'm just not really sure what to make of this situation. It feels like the door isn't closed per se, but it clearly isn't open either. Assuming we do get coffee together, which i would still like, how would you proceed?

I have a pilar cyst on my scalp that I’m self-conscious about and want to get rid of. The dermatology clinic near me is not accepting patients who aren’t actively facing health issues that need treatment (my cyst is embarrassing but thankfully benign otherwise). I know people use tea tree oil for other types of cysts - would diluted tea tree oil help shrink or resolve a pilar cyst? Not asking for medical advice, I’m just curious if others have gone this route in terms of home remedies.

Today I was talking with one of my friends, and we were talking about life changes and getting older. I don’t actually know how old she is but sensed that she’s around the same age as me - I asked if it would be rude to ask her age, and she said no then told me her age. Before I could say anything else, she told me that she’s gotten a “romantically charged” energy from some of our interactions. She then said that she wanted to be clear that she’s not interested and is only dating women at the moment. It was super out of left field so I just apologized and kind of joked that I’ll tone it down. I don’t have any interest in her and don’t think I’ve been flirtatious before, but I do get pretty chummy and gregarious with people. Still, I’m just super confused about the whole interaction. Can someone enlighten me about why this would occur?

3 months in on 50mg and I finally shit myself. Trusted a fart during my morning workout and it was actually a shart. The worst part is that before letting myself fart, there was a split second where I thought “but what if it’s… no, surely this is just a fart. I’ll be okay.” Foolish me. Thankfully it happened early in the morning so I had time to shower again before work.

My partner and I have been together for 6 years, living together for 2 (non-consecutive) years. I am Jewish, they were raised Catholic but are secular and atheist. When we started dating, we were both basically secular aside from occasional Shabbat dinners and a Pesach seder some years. Over the last few years, I have become much more religiously observant and involved with my community. I've spent a lot of the last two years angsting over the fact that much of this observance and involvement in community is being taken on alone. They have been very respectful of my lifestyle changes such as keeping kosher, observing Shabbat, covering my head with a kippah, and going to shul on Friday and Saturday. However, these are not practices that they are interested in personally taking on. We've had many conversations about it, including asking them to come to services and events in the community more often. They did to an extent, but it still didn't feel like enough. I don't blame them at all - this isn't what they signed up for. These tensions got bad enough that the first time we moved in together, it only lasted a year before we started living apart again, and ultimately this year tried living together again. I finally told them today that we need to end things once and for all. I know this isn't what they signed up for and respect that, but I want to share this life with my partner. We don't have to have the exact same practices and level of observance, but it hurts spending so much of such a central part of my life alone. I wish I could be happy being supported by a partner who isn't also getting involved, but in my heart of hearts I'm just not.

Outside of religious differences, our relationship was the healthiest and most supportive relationship I've been in by a mile. I adore them as a person and feel like I've made a horrible mistake, but know that these issues aren't going to resolve themselves. It's all that I've been able to think or talk with my friends about recently, either trying to convince myself that there's some way it could work or complaining that I'm not strong enough to do this. Neither of us will be happy long-term in our current arrangement, so ending things is the only way to do right by them as a person. They deserve someone who loves them for who they are. I know this is the right thing, but G-d I just wish it could have played out differently. Part of me wishes I never became religious so we could've had the good life together. I'm so scared I won't meet someone as decent and kind and good as them. I don't know what the point of this post is, except to get this off my chest. I've spent months mulling over this conversation, and now that it's happened I just wish I could undo it and have things go back to normal. I'm absolutely fucking terrified. I don't want to lose my best friend but we can't keep going the way we were. Please tell me this was the right choice.

Did I make the right decision by ending things?

My partner and I have been together for 6 years, living together for 2 (non-consecutive) years. I am Jewish, they were raised Catholic but are secular and atheist. When we started dating, we were both basically secular aside from occasional Shabbat dinners and a Passover seder some years. Over the last few years, I have become much more religiously observant and involved with my community. I've spent a lot of the last two years angsting over the fact that much of this observance and involvement in community is being taken on alone. They have been very respectful of my lifestyle changes such as keeping kosher, observing Shabbat, covering my head with a yarmulke, and going to synagogue on Friday and Saturday. However, these are not practices that they are interested in personally taking on. We've had many conversations about it, including asking them to come to services and events in the community more often. They did to an extent, but it still didn't feel like enough. I asked in the recent past if they would ever consider conversion, to which the answer was no. I don't blame them at all - this isn't what they signed up for. These tensions got bad enough that the first time we moved in together, it only lasted a year before we started living apart again, and ultimately this year tried living together again. I finally told them today that we need to end things once and for all. I know this isn't what they signed up for and respect that, but I want to share this life with my partner. We don't have to have the exact same practices and level of observance, but it hurts spending so much of such a central part of my life alone. I wish I could be happy being supported by a partner who isn't also getting involved, but in my heart of hearts I'm just not.

Outside of religious differences, our relationship was the healthiest and most supportive relationship I've been in by a mile. I adore them as a person and feel like I've made a horrible mistake, but know that these issues aren't going to resolve themselves. It's all that I've been able to think or talk with my friends about recently, either trying to convince myself that there's some way it could work or complaining that I'm not strong enough to do this. Neither of us will be happy long-term in our current arrangement, so ending things is the only way to do right by them as a person. They deserve someone who loves them for who they are, not someone who's waiting for them to convert and change who they are on a fundamental level. I know this is the right thing, but G-d I just wish it could have played out differently. Part of me wishes I never became religious so we could've had the good life together. I'm so scared I won't meet someone as decent and kind and good as them. I don't know what the point of this post is, except to get this off my chest. I've spent months mulling over this conversation, and now that it's happened I just wish I could undo it and have things go back to normal. I'm absolutely fucking terrified, I don't want to lose my best friend but we can't keep going the way we were. Please tell me this was the right choice.

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Assistive access is an iPhone setting released in 2025, which is intended to greatly reduce your phone’s software features. Although it’s an accessibility tool, I’ve been experimenting with it as a mode to put my phone in on Shabbat and Chagim.

My current settings are such that when my phone is in assistive access, I can only access the following applications - phone, text, weather, and health. These are all tools that I can use for essential communications or wellness in a way that aligns with the ethos I want to bring into Shabbat and Chag. It also eliminates what are (for my current minhag) the most problematic aspects of using my device on Shabbat - mindless scrolling and distractions that take me out of gratitude to Hashem. I may stick with this level of observance, or may not; either way, it’s a good fit for where I’m currently at.

The official information page and set up instructions are linked below. I hope this is useful for some who may be looking for ways to increase their observance in approachable and accessible ways. Have a restful Shabbat, y’all!

https://support.apple.com/guide/assistive-access-iphone/welcome/ios

So, I did something really silly a few years ago after getting sponsored for a pair of tefillin - after davening one morning, I tried to put the shel yad and shel rosh back into the wrong hard protective cases, which ripped up the velvet lining of both of them. I’ve kind of just lived with it, but really need to get around to actually replacing them with undamaged plastic covers. However, I don’t know how to go about finding their size in order to get the correct case off Amazon. Can someone explain to me how this it done?

I’m just sad this morning and venting. The last few years have felt so turbulent and unsettled, taking on more practices and adjusting my minhag. Have any other baalei teshuva or people who became observant later in life felt this way? Does it get easier?