I wish i had a life.
i feel like the worst, and most embarrassing person ever, and i'm tired, i am so tired. Im stuck inside all the time, i cant even go out to have friends. I dont even HAVE friends unless there online, and no matter what i do. i lose those people, they don't stick around and ive tried alot -i've tried so hard. Everyone i know online has best friends, everyone i tried to be friends with just - leaves. I feel like there's something wrong with me, like nobody will ever consider me close. I just feel like i'm failing to be a regular person. I wish i could just have an actual life - because all i end up feeling is alone. and i know i kinda just sound like i'm being lazy but i literally cant go out cause of my parents ( whole other story ), cant even use my pc for games cause i have the worst one imaginable and im not allowed getting a better one cause "i dont need an exoensive one" and this one is basically only good for using browsers. I just hate feelig so helpless, and so alone, i grew up with out friends, i grew up not being able to do anything and the jealously i always felt seeing other people get what i wished i was allowed to do. it emotionally and physically drained and i don't feel like doing anything ever. i wish i could matter more to people, matter to them as much as there other friends. But I'm the one who has to never be able to hang out or stay up or even play games cause my devices are so bad. i wish i could be more for people, there's just so much more i wish i could do and have.