u/Traditional_Head_295

I've been seeing this girl for a while, I just made it official last night. I got off work today to hang with her and her friends and when we get to her friend's house they are all completely wasted and ripping lines of coke (4pm on a Wednesday btw) I also learn in that time that she had been drinking too which added up because she seemed off and honestly was irritating me. Now for more context I'm 3 years completely sober and have fought and worked VERY hard to get myself far away from what i experienced today and for more context she's 3 years sober off of coke but still drinks and smokes occasionally

I really care for her and honestly am hurting to imagine losing her and more importantly this new feeling of love that for the first time actually feels safe. But I simply can't get over this feeling in my stomach that is telling me to get the fuck away. I so desperately try to move forward in life and I have and now all I see in her is a step backwards. I don't like that she's okay keeping that company (I'm not judging because I once was the exact same way and I get it) BUT I feel disrespected that she thought it was okay to bring me around after the amount of pain l've endured to get away from it all. Not only that but the safety I felt with her feels crushed as she laughed away with her friends while I crawled in my skin asking me "are you having fun?" In a joking sort of way as I clearly wasn't and don't think my playing it cool was convincing.

Anyways I made up a fake story and left the situation, she came with me, I explained myself very respectfully, and really all she could say was sorry and that she understands and I could tell she meant it but I ended up dropping her off at home saying I need to think I’m some things. I guess now I worry that our values don't align and there's no real future for us on top of my feelings of anger.

I wanted to put this out there because I think outside opinions could help I'm way too emotionally charged at the moment.

I've been seeing this girl for a while, I just made it official last night. I called off work today to hang with her and her friends and when we get to her friend's house they are all completely wasted and ripping lines of coke (4pm on a Wednesday btw) I also learn in that time that she had been drinking too which added up because she seemed off and honestly was irritating me. Now for more context I'm 3 years sober and have fought and worked VERY hard to get myself far away from what i experienced today and for more context she's 3 years sober off of coke.

I really care for her and honestly am hurting to imagine losing her and more importantly this new feeling of love that for the first time actually feels safe. But I simply can't get over this feeling in my stomach that is telling me to get the fuck away. I so desperately try to move forward in life and I have and now all I see in her is a step backwards. I don't like that she's okay keeping that company (I'm not judging because I once was the exact same way and I get it) BUT I feel disrespected that she thought it was okay to bring me around after the amount of pain l've endured to get away from it all. Not only that but the safety I felt with her feels crushed as she laughed away with her friends while I crawled in my skin asking me "are you having fun?" In a joking sort of way as I clearly wasn't and don't think my playing it cool was convincing.

Anyways I made up a fake story and left the situation, she came with me, I explained myself very respectfully, and really all she could say was sorry and that she understands and I could tell she meant it but I ended up dropping her off at home saying I need to think I’m some things. I guess now I worry that our values don't align and there's no real future for us on top of my feelings of anger.

I wanted to put this out there because I think outside opinions could help I'm way too emotionally charged at the moment.

So I got pulled over cause my tail lights were out so I I changed the fuse and it was fine for about a week and now next thing I know I’m getting pulled over again for my tail lights being out. Y’all got any ideas? It’s a 2011 ford edge and the brake lights still work.