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Tomorrow is my first swimming lesson, and instead of being excited that I’m about to learn something new.. a real skill, something good for myself, all I can think about is how I’ll look in a swimsuit, being insecure about my looks , and how people might see me.
I hate that this is where my mind goes instead of simply enjoying the moment. I really do.
I want to gather more knowledge about firearms
I feel wierd, I feel like something really gruesome or grotesque is going to happen in the next few weeks, Something absolutely worse. I feel it deep in my stomach.
I feel like I'm going to faint anytime, I want to maybe hide somewhere safe, alone or maybe with mum and dad.
My body is aggressively trembling right now, I'm extremely scared but I have no idea why.
I'm having wierd dreams lately, about my dead grandparents, I keep waking up multiple times during the night, last night I woke up 7 times but I don't know why.
And everytime I look in the mirror, I look different.
I'm writing this here because I have no one to tell how I feel,I won't tell my parents or sibling. I don't have any friends.
Music that sounds like "overnight superstar" in the 80s
This is Pretty old phone, how can I turn it on??
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Non fancy or fancy both
A few months ago, I was home alone and was sitting nearby kitchen on couch. And suddenly our maid cut her finger badly on a broken glass while washing dishes. I saw it happen, but for some reason I just sat there and didn’t react immediately. Only after she hissed in pain again did I finally get up and give her a bandaid.
What really disturbs me is that it took me several minutes to fully register that she was a human being standing there in pain. I feel deeply ashamed of my horrible behaviour towards her, and the memory still bothers me months later.
So I want a routine/remedies to make my feet and hands looks spotless and soft